Feels Thread?

Feels Thread?

What's on your mind tonight, Sup Forums?

This is a true story.

Apart from this, i'm waiting to see a doctor to get my psychologist report.

Lonely and bored.
Anti deppressants not working atm.
Tired.
Girl troubles like a bunch of others have.
College being hell.
Worried about my future.
Ect

Not much OP. Going through life feeling nothing, hoping the world ends or some shit.

Cuddled and made out with my gf after her coming back from exchange trip, good times. She wasn't in the mood to fuck though so bit of disappointment

I'm honestly on the verge of getting rid of all of my emotions entirely and solely focus on manipulating people to my benefit. I've been working out by running 2 miles every morning. I run to the point I literally feel like throwing up but since i don't eat anything before I run nothing comes out. I do throw up water sometimes. But I've been pushing myself so hard for all the wrong reasons. The one reason i really started running is because a girl that was just special to me completely cut me off. She won't even answer my calls, she sends me straight to voice mail. If it was anyone else I wouldn't give a damn. But I cared so much about her. And when she did that something just clicked in my head. It made me feel fucking retarded for ever actually caring for someone and that i should solely do anything for my own personal benefit. I don't want to become a heartless person. But what other options are there? If I keep caring I keep getting hurt. Plus I want to die in my sleep. But who doesn't right?

Man what I wouldn't give for just another cuddle session with her...
Do appreciate every little thing, specially if it's not sex, those things are the ones you miss the most.
Love her.

Caring is hurting, but don't hurt other people through manipulation. I mean, all down for becoming emotionless and centered on benefits for your own good, but don't fuck with other people.

You know how it hurts.

Been with my current girlfriend for a few years now. There's this girl at work that's been real flirty with me, and well I've been flirty with her too. She's a solid 8/10. Conflicted on what to do. A lot of people at work know my girlfriend from past jobs and such, I think it might be too risky to do anything. But I feel that I can easily pull it off. My girlfriend and I have been drifting apart, so I don't know if I should try and fix things or move on.

So just keep it to myself? I honestly don't know what to do user

it's actually really easy to know what the right thing to do is its just hard to do it

Pretty much. I know it feels stupid to care for people after what happened, so don't. Just follow your own path, keep working out, study or work or whatever it is that you do to make a better version of yourself. Care for yourself, and if the time comes when you feel ready to care for someone else, then by all means do so.

There's only so much you can achieve with self-love, but now you know to not get attached too much.

Freshman at uni
Roommate dropped out due to drug addiction
Feel lonely, roommate was one of my few friends
Girl that I was talking to decided to stop seeing me after sex, said she felt like we were moving too fast, but idk I just dont think im the one for her which sucks because I really connected with her on a lot, which hasnt been the case with most of my gfs

I know what I can do to fix myself but its like I dont really have the motive to do it, fuck depression

Well then play it cool, if she's OK with sex then keep it that way, give you and her the time to really develop something meaningful. Time will tell if you're meant to be or not.

Don't rush anything, that's the best way to end something before starting it.

Thanks user. I'll keep it up. (All homo)

Friendly advice. Don't do anything to make you the asshole. Don't be that guy. If you're not feeling it then end it. No reason to be a dick head. It's probably the worst thing I've ever felt. To have the one person you have loved and trusted for years destroy you like that. Do as you will, but I recommend to at least think about what you want and make a decision to end it or not. Don't give someone any ammunition. Eventually they find out.

29 years old.

i havent had sex since 2008.

Had a gf since then, but just blowjobs.

Trying nofap because i want to increase my confidence. Probably gonna fap tonight instead.
have girls who are into me, but not attracted to them.

No problem mate, glad to help. (Full homo)

nah like I think she has cut me off entirely, she wasnt the hottest girl Ive dated but she was a solid 5 with my interests. I think its due to her child life I think she was raped, and after sex she said felt like we were moving to fast and that she couldnt get that thought of rape out of her head. Idk best to just move on i guess

Ranked 1st in the world. Overall feeeling is fine.

I want to improve my life big time man. I have skills that I don't do anything with and I just feel like I could do so much more, and I will.

Setting clear goals will be the first step so I'm thinking about that rn. What about you?

Huh, then yeah move on, seems like the best thing to do at this point. Traumas like that don't go away easily.

Any other girls that have caught your attention tho?

In class I was trying to send a pdf to a friend and I forgot my gf sent me nudes a while back and I had them on my laptop that I was orginally not gonna use for school. As I was adding an attachment it automatically navigated to my last folder which had them and the thumbnails werent huge or anything but it was visible and I believe the two people behind me saw it. So now Im that weird guy with porn on his tech at school. fml

I want a cigarette, but I'm too depressed to get up from the computer.

Thanks. What makes it more difficult is that we lived together for 3 years. She recently moved out and got a place with her friends. She wanted "space". She rarely visits me, but we always talk and text everyday. She soon figured out that she hated being away from me and tells me she misses me repeatedly. I know she's not cheating on me and I'm not cheating on her. But that distance further strains the relationship. Having this girl at work be genuinely excited to see me and talk to me makes me, well feel wanted at least by someone.

went to the rush events and met some ladies there havent talked to them in a while because of the other girl I was talking too. Probably going to ask some of them if they trying to party this weekend.

Online ordering man.

Don't let your dreams be dreams.

Would recommend. Get out as much as you can, Uni will wreck you if you don't have a couple pals to chill from time to time and girls to hang out with.

>be me, 17
>be tonight
>drinking just to make me a little bit happy
>get a mysterious phone call
>hello?.jpg
>my best friends mom
>best friend blew his brains out
Sup Forums im comfortably drunk and i want to drink myself to death please help me

Are distractions the only way to survive life and it's meaningless horror?
When Camus asked the person to be happy despite the absurdity of life, he didn't talk about how to be happy.

gonna sound retarded... but my pet toad.

She was a great pet, thought she was a dog. She'd actually play games like fetch n stuff, loved belly rubs, and would seek me out to cuddle. Again, strange sounding, I know... but she was awesome. Found her dead in her aquarium this morning.

Can confirm, dropped out 3rd semester because it was shit without friends

Drink man. That must hurt like hell.

Just don't drown on the booze. Let it soothe the pain but by no means believe it's gonna take it away.

Sorry bro.

Humans suffer. If you're not striving for something, suffering's all you'll ever have. Get your act together so your dopamine levels will be set straight and things will start to make sense.

I'm sorry user. I've been there before.
You made his living less painful. You gave meaning to his life. It's why you're best friends. It's how you have forged a connection with him. You had a bond user, and I'm sure he's thankful for everything you gave him, every single moment you spent with him. Every single memory you created, it added value in his life.
It's not your fault user. Tell it to yourself because it's true.
It might not be the best thing to think about at this moment but what is also true is that he is at peace now. He's in a place where there's less pain. And I think that should give you some peace.
Be strong user. Don't escape your pain with booze. Think, reflect and laugh at the journey you had for these are the moments you'll remember as you face death yourself. How significant a person made seem your life.
Don't run from it user. I ran and I suffered. I lived in denial. But I've only come to peace with it after I've admitted there's suffering in living and he's at peace now

My upbringing resulted in me having a compulsive need for attention but also trained me not to waste other people's time with my problems and I have no sense of self-worth so now I'm a suicidal alcoholic with no friends because I'm incapable of letting other people in because fuck that noise, I'm not getting boned again.

1st in the world at what?

I have nothing worth striving for. I'm in university. And I have exams in a week. But what am I studying for? To get a good job so I can fend for myself. But standing on my own feet for what user? Why am I doing what I should be doing?

Numb.
>abusive childhood.
>poor childhood we are taking about no shoes beans even 3 days moving from home to home even living in a shitty tent for a while parent found in a dumbester
>no family contact sence 14 I left never looked back
>shitty people are shitty to each other because people are fucking dumb.

>dating three women each tell me they love me, dunno why but i don't fight it I fuck them they leave. Don't care of they find out about each other

...

...

...

ended a 5 year relationship last week.

it was for the best, but fuck. there's a hole in me shaped like five years of a best friend i can't talk to anymore

Just got released from suicide watch, failed an attempt via Fentanyl, Flunitrazepam, Phenegan and Jim Beam.

Just wondering what method i should use next since i obviously have far to high of a cns depression tolerance.

>what method i should use next
Try living

I'm sorry user. Why was it for the best?

we have some hard to reconcile differences about where we want to be in the future. one of us would need to make some really hard choices, and with depression and job stress on both sides, we let it slip to the point where it really wouldnt be a good idea to make those choices, because shit got bad enough that i am not sure that would fix it.

so we got stuck in this holding pattern where we loved each other but we couldn't figure out the future. i worked on it for a long time, but in the end, i realized it was already gone

You should be out there doing something that actually takes your mind of the pointlessness. I've been on both sides of the coin, it's worth waiting for. Although you're responsible for getting there so every hour you waste is one hour further away from happiness. You know what you want to do so allow yourself to go for it. You're gonna fail miserably because you're a worthless piece of shit and it's gonna show countless times until you get to a point where you're not as much of a waste of space anymore. People will appreciate you for it and you're going to like it. Sky's the limit but right now you're on an anonymous messageboard whining about how miserable you are so put some genuine thought into why that is and see what you can come up with. When you feel the pointlessness creep up on you again you need to realize that it's a scapegoat you've created to allow yourself to feel indifferent about what's happening in your life. It's a poorly constructed one at that, but it's good enough when you're a worthless piece of shit. People wanna go to uni, people want computers people want fucking bread and not everyone gets it. Have some decency to both them and yourself to find meaning in this reality that's surrounding your conciousness. You exist and it's not gonna last forever.

I'm sorry it had to end this way user. I'm sure you cared a lot about them as they did with you to have to ride it all along.
I hope you find yourself soon enough

Not doing too well right now

Get yourself a cabin in the middle of the country, completely detached from society. Get a wife, have many kids. Start the heaven on earth project. For me, it's the only thing keeping me going. If you decide to do this, make sure you can defend yourself and know how to live off the land. To keep myself from driving off a bridge while in this society I've been lifting (for aesthetics, dopamine, confidence, attracting girls) and reading tons of history and philosophy so that my children can be even more powerful than I am with the stories and advice I'll be able to give them. Fuck everyone else, live for the sake of your own happiness and survival.

yeah. its pretty fuckin weird to have a breakup call that includes "i love you" on both sides and not have any bad feelings toward the other person. i almost wish one of us hated the other one

Whys that?

Been single for 4 years now after getting my heart kicked in the ass by a woman I loved, been slowing growing more and more bitter as time goes on. Finally landed a decent kg not boring job so that's cool I guess. However now, my close friend from highschool just ODd on heroin and died, my uncle just bit the big one and my grandmother who I have been living with is in the hospital in the ER. On top of this im growing more and more disillusioned with people on general and feel myself slipping. I just wanna find a decent lady and settle down at this point but I don't think that's gonna happen. How about you other anons?

Totally get that dude! You're gonna grow from it tho, as long as you let yourself. Surround yourself with people is a good start, brain needs to uphold that social activity you and the ex worked on together.

Bet that made you sad? :) I know bro, it gets better

Don't ever give up on finding a gf friend. You can and will find the person if you keep trying, heartbreak will make you stronger every time it happens

Thanks for the response user. It makes a lot of sense but I don't know what I want. I wish I knew so I'd work hard to get it but I don't really know what it is that I want

I tried everything to be happy and beat depression but none worked.
I tried the normie lifestyle (going to gym, socializing, eating healthy), love (love made it worst) and even a therapist but none made me happy.

What is the chance of failure if i blow my head with a .45 ?
I've heard some stories about people who have failed it

Thanks user. Maybe im going through a rough spot is all.

What you said makes a perfect life for me but I can't do it user. I'm happy you found your definition of perfect and that you got it.

thanks user,
life just keeps going on. just taking it a day at a time for now

How much better I am than u faggots

Definitely. Take any time you need to heal from your previous hurts and then put yourself out there again. Learn to trust and I guarantee by the end of your life you will not regret it.

It's hard as hell sometimes my man. Some days I don't see the point and I feel complete emptiness. Sometimes I hope society would collapse faster. I just view myself as sitting at the bottom of an abyss, and I can't remember what the fresh air at the top has tasted like since I was a child. That fresh air is called happiness. The feeling you get when you can't wait to get out of bed or when you have people in your life you can be your complete and true Self around. I haven't had that feeling in so long I have forgotten it almost completely, but I know it's there and I can attain it if I keep climbing towards the light.

but here you are, posting in a feels thread

You're both pure souls who care for each other in the most rudimentary way possible. Without expecting anything back. But being grateful that you're getting something back.
They left an impression on your heart user, to put it mildly and it's going to last a lifetime. And you made an impression on theirs that is going to last their lifetime and you're both better people for it.
Recognize that and just accept that irrespective of how much you loved each other, you weren't perfect for each other. And you stopped before you began to hate one another. And that's beautiful user. I'm glad people like you and them exist in this world. Because you make the world a better place

Find out, but if you're on psychedelics don't even bother.

would like that better place to extend to me as well haha, but i appreciate the words

Sailor Jerry's Rum

Haven't really gotten drunk since about April, been having a tough time as I'll pour myself a drink and do shit for 4-6 hours and go though 1/4 of the glass. Think I need to go back to vodka or just get used to rum, bit queasy.

>Only drank beer, vodka, whiskey/scotch/Bourbon

Had some Kraken a few days ago, sweet but pretty friggin good.

> I haven't had that feeling in so long
Maybe you've learned to live and be happy without having that feeling user. Maybe you've adapted to being as happy as you can without it

I'm not on psychedelics user. Why do you dislike them?

I'm unsure about my future and I'm scared of success. Also I don't think I'll know how to react if a woman ever tells me she loves me. Can someone tell me how I should?

Look at yourself in the mirror and all you see are your faults and weaknesses and how you could be doing better. But ask a person who knows you to describe who you are and you see sides of you that you have failed to recognize. The good sides.
Maybe you need to see your good sides again user. Maybe you need to be with yourself and love yourself again

idk considering who my real friends are

but in all truth I want to be alone

very conflicting cause the benefits of having friends is nice

i'm so sorry. I've never experienced a friend kill themselves before, but I dated someone who's best friend did. I knew the guy too. He was really sweet, really intelligent.
maybe you'll never know why your friend did it. maybe you do. I dont know if you have a friend circle who knew this person, but it helps to talk. it helps to get it out. maybe consider counseling when you're ready, consider talking to someone.
I never got over my childhood friends death. it was a medical issue she was unaware of. I didnt expect it. We were 16.
that was a few years ago. I still cry about it sometimes.
there isnt a certain way to cope with this stuff. coping with death is hard. its not something people can do easily.

regardless, I send love and light to you user. I hope you can heal. I hope you can talk to someone to help get through this.
please don't develop an alcohol addiction. it wont solve the underlying issue. it will just cover it up - and keep resurfacing.
trust me. I learned the hard way.

all my love.

Hey user. I was once told "I love you"
I was in the same boat as you were. I just simply froze. I ran away from them. I couldn't comprehend the idea that I could be loved. I have reasons for that. Maybe you do too.
I've realized since, there's no singular reaction to being told you're loved. You just have to simply say or do what you feel in the moment.
And that's what I did. I apologized for freezing up and explained how love isn't something I had for her and not something I was looking for at the moment. That I didn't love her. And she understood
Sure, me not loving her hurt her. Bad. But lying to her would have hurt her even more. Pretense is never good user.
As for the other question, nobody's sure of where they'll end up and everyone's scared of success because they fear that they'll lose it. Don't attach preconceived ideas of good and bad to situations user. Just feel them fully and allow them to last for however long they do. Because failure is just as important as success, if not more. Allow yourself to be in the moment, go with the flow and just enjoy it for what it is.

>Bro is dead in the shooting recently
>Never told me he was going to go
>last thing I told him was "fuck you"
>I get notified by his death two days later
>People keep making jokes about the whole thing
>It's making me feel morally guilty about the whole thing
>Want to go to a therapist but too expensive

mfw when I can't even go to a doctor to get better

>be me 19
>court next week
>stressed cause got some people who want me ded on the inside
>shame for what I did (hurt the wrong person)
>multiple people trying to attack me this year and no I did not diddle any kids this is some gangster shit
>shit I did triggered chain of events
> got fucked over by a "friend" stole 3-4 grand from me told me he fucked my gf or some shit
>went nuts
>attacked someone he knew
>waiting patiently to get stabbed up in jail pretty much
>should have been taking mma and steroids when I first got bail but court had been moved a million times

Idek anymore I survived a kidnapping and a ton a fucked events just to get to this point. I'm not really down to go out like a bitch. I have a reputation for being a crazy mother fucker. I'm just a product of my environment. I don't care so much if I die - I care more so what people remember of me. I never wanted any of this I'm just a kid tryna get by man in a deadly city

Thanks man, I feel a little better now.

I've been lurking Sup Forums for quite a few years now. at first, I used to laugh at edgy jokes like that.

but as I got older I just realized its not funny. People make jokes about awful situations sometimes to cope, sometimes to feel better about the world they live in.

It's not funny that people joke about that shooting, and I'm sorry you have to read that while coping with such a life changing situation.

I'm so sorry to hear your brother passed.

Shit like this always makes me randomly tell people I care for that I love them. You never know when someone's time is going to come.

also curious as to why you dislike psychedelics, they changed my life for the better tbh

You're right user, I have adapted to a feeling of mediocrity and stagnation. And I can't fucking stand it. I know that I can achieve existential bliss. Right now I'm trying to stay afloat by suppressing my frustration towards society for making me go to college and make money just so I can have my dream house in the forest. Also pissed off at society for promoting this shitty degenerate culture where girls aren't shamed for being complete sluts and not looking for ideal lifelong partners and don't even get me started on miscegenation. I'm not some jealous creepy ugly faggot either, I promise. Society just makes it 10x harder for me to find a girl and do my own thing than it would be otherwise. But I know I shouldn't go around sulking or spewing my opinions all over normies, so I end up bottling this all up and letting it out while I lift. Lifting lets out some, but there's always frustration building up and preventing me from getting to my goals to some extent, and by that I mean I'll really fall behind in my studies or just feel like complete shit and skip meals and whatnot. I know how to get over this stupid slump but I feel physically incapable at this point in life.

me rn

I'm 21 - female.

I feel like my life is going nowhere.

I've dropped out of 3 post secondary programs since I graduated high school in 2014.

I've worked shitty minimum wage jobs since I was 16.

Last month I went to Europe for 3 weeks after saving up for months. I went to Scotland, England, France and Belgium. I was homesick the whole time. In France I actually stayed in my hostel for almost 3 days straight watching Netflix.

I came home earlier than I had originally planned, and now I'm stuck in the same rut I was stuck in before I left.

I live with my boyfriend, and I love him but his family is having a lot of financial issues, and he and I have been helping them for the past 8 months.

Today I spent the whole day in bed because I'm too broke/depressed to actually do anything.

I can never focus on anything for more than a couple of months.

I have legitimately 2 friends, plus my boyfriend.

I don't even know where I'm going with this, but something has to change. I feel like a black hole, sucking the life and fun out of everything around me.

Thanks for reading, I guess.

Everyone in the world is suffering in some way or another nothing can be done about it. We're living in an intractable mess of ignorance, hatred, and greed. We should all just kill ourselves and leave the earth to the other animals. They at least lack the mental capacity to feel the sort of misery we do.

Well - tonight I'm thinking about a person I love very much. I'll call them G.

G and I met years ago, in 2011. I remember when I first looked at them, I'd remember them. Something just kind of felt right. It was strange. At the time, I had been in a relationship. But when I saw G for the first time, I couldn't remember anything else besides how it felt seeing them for the first time. G had a strange pull, a mysterious aura. I couldn't resist getting to know this person.

We fell for each other so quickly. I left my partner because I knew I couldn't just be friends with G- something about them felt almost soulmate-ish, like what you see in movies. It was unreal, and I will never forget it.

We had a rocky relationship. We were off, and on. But our love never changed intensity. We hurt each other. But we loved each other. We were best friends. We shared a sense of humor. We knew when the other was around just by the energy change. We knew each other's thoughts.

and now, it's 3AM, October 2017.
G is no longer my partner. G is not the healthiest person for me, and maybe I'm not the healthiest person for G. But they are all I think about, all I hope to see when I walk down the street.

I don't know if G was placed in my life for a random reason, or no reason at all. I never believed in fate until winter of 2011.

I love you, G. I miss you.
So much.

No one important is going to remember you with that lifestyle. Your "mark" is nothing, the best thing you can do now is get all your shit together and just leave. Just take it all and head for the fucking hills. Write a book. Walk through nature while you can. Realize the meaninglessness you've enveloped yourself in and how petty your tough guy act is and that it can get you killed or imprisoned now. Just give it up and go do something productive with your life while you still can. Do something that people will actually remember you for, something good. Be a role model for future generations.

I'm 22/f, and in nearly the same mentality. I dont know if there's a way out of it, but you arent alone user.

I spent 2 years going from a self-hating liberal to essentially an unironic Nazi. But now I feel like I wasted most of my life until now, with a lifestyle that my present self completely disdains.

I’ve never really felt this way before, as though I wish I could go back and redo things.

Tits or gtfo

Thank you. I'm glad I'm not alone, and I hope you're able to get out of the rut soon.

You can change the future user.

people are just bad. hate my life because of it. guy got shot on 59th yesterday cause he laid the guy off that shot him. want to move to alaska in 5 years and live off of shit that i killed myself

meant for

You certainly have some radical opinions that I don't agree with user. I think if love exists, race doesn't matter. But that's not what this is about.
I guess you just have to keep going and grind away without having a purpose in mind

Why not leave now?

Do people know what comic Pepe is from?

Maybe that is directed at me, and yes I am indeed. I am a real human being for the first time ever. No regrets about what is happening to my life today, only joy.

Some of the femanons here should consider following my example.

new york sucks man. its violent and unfriendly. not all cities are like this.
i left nyc for a bit, regret ever coming back.

get a little more money. if i save enough (55 bucks an hour) i wouldnt have to work or be around people ever again.
plus suicide has always been an option i put off to watch the world burn a little more

The only reason you think you're in a rut is because you're looking at what you don't have.
Stop. And look at what you have right now. Appreciate everything you have. Do not take it for granted.
You have someone you love and someone who loves you back. You have a few friends but at least you know you have someone for you in shitty times. You traveled to places, you saw things, you experienced new stuff.
You're going through some shit maybe but it's shit that's temporary, nothing permanent.
Instead of looking at how your life is imperfect think about how life is not so bad right now.
Do not find a reason to be unhappy user.
Some people are just meant to be unhappy. They don't need a reason for that. You're not one of them. You have so many reasons to be happy. You're just choosing not to

I wish i made 55 bucks an hour.

Wouldn't be such a rough going.