Fucking fuck i feel like i'm losing my mind

fucking fuck i feel like i'm losing my mind
everything is terrible everything uncomfortable. no enjoyment. i cant stand the thought of seeing people tomorrow. of working of moving. sleep is sickening all things sickening. grease and oil and cold.
fucking venting to faceless fucks in the cesspool for no reason. maybe another glimpse of brokeness for others amusements. shit it's all broken,everything, i feel paranoid, anxious, what the fuck. cant think. this shitty body wilting away mind breaking. this isnt normal, fuck. colors mix with thoughts and shapes are stable but nothing else is, thinking too much leads toanxiety, im jittering. fuck how to how to how to. why. drowning

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finder.psychiatry.org/
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it's called nihility you faggot

get with it and stop bitching, you're nasically describing the everyday din of my entire "life"

how do i get back how do i get back. filled too much its dizzy how do i stop this. need to be normal stable working function. cant think cant think cantking

*basically

more like, bay-SACK-lee

im right. no need to ask.

need to preocupy all else spirals and unravels fuck. this is a placeholder anchor point of reference. cant think just panic too much with time but there is no time its late and the day happens. leave or stay tomorrow today data work or no. cant like this but everything false apart will break. how to fix. im not here.

Lots of booze user. That's what I do. But be wary, withdrawal will cause anxiety.

There's no fix, give it time and you'll adjust to the feeling

...

its all loose lost lose control. broken thoughts reason function. shit it all sucks everything is crawling on me. pin pricks and oil every fiber scraping. broken without drugs no reality to escape from or to. why is this, heart hurts mind racing for nothing so just fills to overflowing with emotion. fear and panic panick. im nausaous dfuck how to stop. trembling and shaking. why.

I'm not high enough for your autism beat poetics right meow OP

This shall pass my subordenant the good will come

hands are freezing, arms cold. someday ill die from a blood clot. stroke likely. limited time anyway. almost did before. is this now. or other brokenness. cant think it all hurts needles like daggers in skin. breathing shorter shaking. fucking hel. chest hurts everything frantic panic sick.

First get yourself seated and take some deep breaths. Where are you?

I feel you at parts but not at others. Nothing feels worth it anymore. Everything seems shallow and unfulfilling. People and things that I should feel connection and happiness from give neither. I feel as though I want everything and nothing at the same time. I hate waking up and going to work. I hate returning home and doing nothing. Life feels empty and hollow. I want to fall asleep without meds for once. I want to feel truly relaxed and comfortable. I don't know anything anymore.

Me too. This is more spot on with how I feel (sorry op). Just a general feeling of emptiness and lack of desire to do anything. Also the burden of knowing I'll regret these decisions to do nothing later on in life. Oh well

cant turn off it's just flowing. cant think cant think just moments vomit. shaking fuckc fuck fuck.head hurts. fuck. tense evrything tensing evrything. fuck tomorrow. fuck. fuck. no one awake. alone shti do i need help. more than broken, fuck cant think. fuck.better not fucking die on this shithole. fucking fuckxla5. my head hurts. cant think dbody hurts fuck tight

If you could create your life in any way you wanted, how would you do it?

You probably need to write down a to do list

Well I would choose to have no life, sorta. I've come to conclusion that dissatisfaction is inherent to life - or sentience, rather. It's a bit naive to say something like 'a life where I'm always happy and have problems'. I could get way into it but fuck life (and I got it easy)

sounds like martial failure, i'd see your local lawyer about sueing the public officials in your county if I were you. But I'm not qualified to give actual legal advice either.

Have no problems*

sweating how am i sweating fuck cold everything freezing cold fucking my body hurts tense fuck i need drink slip away from this this hurts fuck cant think thinkf shaking bad shapes dont move colors on shape as thoughts need stable fuckfuckf

I feel like our past experiences can leave is with an inaccurate understanding of live.

There's many people who live happy and fulfilling lives, do you not deserve as much?

I do not know. Life feels fake. One of my own choosing would cement that further.

OP get yourself into the shower, it will calm you down, then come back and talk to us

Take a warm bath or shower

Do you feel like you feel that way because life isn't satisfying to you? Maybe you're lonely, not fulfilled, and you're kinda dissociating yourself from everything and everyone?

Yes but there's also many who do not. I don't believe anyone deserves anything in those respects, it's a matter of luck I suppose. Most happiness is consequent of willfull ignorance, which I can't bring myself to do. Right now I'm enjoying feeling nothing - just soaking in what's around me I guess

The Red Wind of the Facist State Has Fair Tidings for All Those Who Trespass. Defact Immediately.

blank blank blnka almost fell everything tense wlaking dificult. front rigt top right head, less on front left, ring from temple to temple, burning warm throbbing. light hurts simple word simple words simple sords. its vacant dark hollow. hope rum will blind franticness. still nauseous. hands listen but feel off. head hurts. captcha sucks, always ever

i think sometimes its good to allow yourself to feel emptiness, then you can gain all the wisdom from it and see its passing

It is not satisfying. Loneliness is normal. People and me just don't go well together. I don't want to live the life I've got now and no other really sound better to me.

If this is genuine, you have some form of dissociation with reality and aren't in the proper mindset to recover without help

better than stroke worse maybe is. need to grasp words, words letters are color, m, mu, pink s red a blues. maybe pass with time. else broken. fuck.

Have you other thought that other people feel that way too? Other people feel alone in a world that doesn't care about them?

I will not pretend I'm the only one that feels this way. It doesn't really matter if they do or don't feel that way.

But you're not so different from everyone else. Really you and all of us want the same thing

I agree, but when to stop? You could spend your whole life doing so and not gain any significant amount of wisdom. Fuck the wisdom doesn't even matter unless you apply it, so when is the right time to apply it? One may feel empty for their whole lives

I would apply the wisdom, as soon as I could, if I felt it would better my life

mau maur maurva maune mauckeuve aue aure aureve nek neka nekaue nekrue nekue nekrau
colors on screen colors stable. less shaking. blua kua klua uea whit e varies less frantic. why here. fucking hell. vo vogh voghn vokue vok white is hard grue crue aughn arrows of color

It doesn't matter. People will always share a few things in common.

m pink, a blue, n green, c/k black, slopig shape whhite saue captcha. broken beyond repair or not. numb. very numb

Yup, are we not more similar than we are different?

Anyways, being human sucks

numb numb less pain. tired? tire taure tauvregh yellow concepts of thought concepts concep counceagh counseay white grey gray. broken. fuck. blue outlined in white, shapes, curve around.. slow very slow. dull throbbing. more comfortable like this. set sent sevt sevght seghvt cant find exact colore of posts. comfort in searching. maybe then itlll feel stable.

stfu

too red, s words. m fits better. different context though. 1 to 2 not 2 to 1. shape of sound has color but color differs in sound.

It's cool in a way because we have so much potential as a human

To do what??

Have many different experiences, overcome obstacles, find out about qualities we didn't know we had etc.

What do if anxiety stops you from leaving your house?

Overcome anxiety. I'd change my lifestyle and get rid of it, small steps at a time. Perhaps even make myself leave the house once, get out of my comfort zone

is that nigga smoking a toiler roll ?

Also, have you ever thought that you're blessed to have a house which you can stay in? Hidden from the world

>general feeling of emptiness and lack of desire to do anything. Also the burden of knowing I'll regret these decisions to do nothing later on in life. Oh well


perception is reality.
you think all of these things are shit, so your brain associates all these things as shit, so therefore whenever you seem them you associate them as shit.

fake interest in things, trick your brain into enjoying things instead of giving up like the prey animals we are.

protip- your a fucking monkey.

left eye feel pressure, hurts, left side of face numb, left arm numb, im concerned. more lost. stable while adrift, storm. blue black left ear feels of warm liquid runing out. shit. head heavy. aufgh un veyghn auoght. coln evereghnt losing self. stable while adrift, blue black crecent from right thick border. point left down. een enn eghn eyn evn evryn green why. thoughts unknown. feels like hell. libs going cold again. record reckord rekoard reckoard. hope for ful. recover. left body listens but foreign

Calm down faggot it'll pass. Make changes to your life one by one and eventually you'll be alright.

Yes. I don't take anything I own for granted. That's not to ignore the fact that all problems in life are relative. The person without a home, implied in your message, has their problems and I have mine. It's like telling someone missing 1 arm they can't complain because there's a person over there missing 2

You might have a serious mental issue that can't be thought through on your own... like developing schizophrenia, dissociation, psychosis or something. I'm no shrink but it doesn't sound like you're describing depression or even a drug binge. You really need to go to a psychiatrist. Schedule an appointment.

protip- our biology and subconscious mind have a far greater effect than our conscious mind. I can't control that these things feel like shit and I'm not stupid enough to entertain the ideas

mirror glass wall. cant convey thoughts. absent. cant translate. void void void void void void vodd. numbness, losing self losing control. separate feel consistent but cant interact outward to reality. might be stroke. left side slave and numb to rest. cant cant. can control but feels muscles. feels off, foreign, aoughvreghnt. cant understand color of words, thoughts forced to colors, hard to understand. right side normal mostly i think. slightly numb. left side of face mostly unusable as is. fuck. record rechord rekord rekoard re reych reych chord reych koarde elghn elghn elghn i dont understand. death deayth deaghn deyghneth possble. right shoulder feels weird. maybe soar sore sourghvre f maybe spread. hope not. void void void void. losing thoughts more before .cant control. dont want to lose self. cant lose. cant go not yet too much

pro-tip, your subconscious mind is just that, your conscious mind acting on its on

the fact that we are sentient means we can change the demeanour of our subconscious

again, your seeing everything as shit so your stuck in the cycle, and don't want to break out of it because it requires effort, of which your dont want to do because your stuck in the cycle.

we've been dealing with this for millennia, fix yourself or feed yourself to a carnivore like the prey animal we are.

your stress is causing the transition to be difficult. give in or seek medical help.

need record need script for futur if futr. slight reconstruction so far. cant coherently convey thoughts. very fractured. slimbing collecting pieaces i think. worst place. worst place for record shove colors aside need self. mode moad pink blue white grey, moaaaa. ends ends like clawing at walls mentally. trying to open break window out. fuck.

I understand what you're saying. We eventually become what we feed into and all that. Anyways, I never even said it was shit I just mentioned it was a feeling I was having. I'm actually optimistic

finder.psychiatry.org/

Or walk to your local institution and tell them these things you're thinking. You'll be better off for it.

top right arm going numb right hand slowly numb left hand slightly better. warmer? maybe bloood flow better leftward. cut off toward right. rigt arm getting wors. left face less numb. right face not yet. need record. slight thought improvement. less colors more words. maybe passing. likely clots. maybe stroke. need info. verify later.

I have 20+ years of experience as a Jungian mystic and occultist. I can help you, but I can tell you right now that you won't like it. Do you want to hear the answer? If you aren't prepared to listen, I won't bother wasting my time.

Oh well I enjoyed reading this thread. You see, I was once like you. You all described perfectly how I felt all the time. I am now on the ending of a 6 years therapy and my life has gotten so much better I sometimes don't believe it. It took a lot, from mental energy to feeling extremely shitty, from tons of money to letting people down. But now, well now I am normal. I sleep, I work, I meet people, I am content and at peace with the world. I don't panic, I don't feel unease around others, I don't fuck everything up. And then I look ar your posts and I feel disgusted because you remind me so much of my old self. You could all be cruelly exterminated for all I care. I'm not here to tell you that you can make it because you already know that, I am here to tell you that I know how much is sucks and how good it feels to be like the others. Have a good day you losers, I'll be smiling for you too today.

I'd like to hear the answer, regardless.

this is what a life without God is like.

year ago close to same time while sick similar effect symptoon pain fear thoughts numbess fear of death suddenly. similar. look into. remember this you fuckup. likely blood clot similar again. physical lproblem likely. right side getting worse, not as bad as left was. left getting better. left face still very numb, left eye still closed too hard to lift lid. need to copy text later. cant think, more spontaneous words, should maybe help. ignore others for record.

Stop noting your visuals/physical symptoms and either learn to CBT yourself or go to a fucking doctor.

still veil between thought and words, getting more coherent. biilding up layers slowly. front end now source of cloud, not core. feels like a barrier i can see/feel. left face getting better. not sure of right side.

Here is the answer, then. There was a cage made for you on the day of your birth. The surface of the world is ruled by the powers and principalities whose strength is absolute, and they have built these cages to keep people asleep. Anyone can leave the cage at any time, but they walk out into a hostile and cold world rules by alien powers with vast authority. Fortunately there is a deeper level, and there these powers and principalities have neither strength nor authority.

Our entire world is designed to keep people asleep and caged. The cellphones, the televisions, the mass media, the news, the social media, religion, schools, government, they're all there to provide distraction. This is because there is a still, small voice capable of guiding people to wakefulness, but it is easily drowned out.

You must learn and cultivate stillness to hear this voice. You must get rid of your cellphone. You must stop using social media. You must stop following the news. You must stop fearing boredom and learn to tolerate silence and aloneness.

It's easy to say, hard and frightening to do. Most choose to willingly to close their eyes and remain in their cage.

The choice is always yours, and the powers and principalities have no power to stop you from making it.

Fuck Offf,or define cbt then fuck off. need record.

I love you, user.

I'm not sure if anyone has said this yet as I've only really been reading the cryptic text from OP but, having overdosed before myself, I'd say this seems like an overdose of LSD or some other hallucinogen. The disassociation, the short attention span, the pure insanity. OP, just know that if you took any drugs, THEY WILL WEAR OFF EVENTUALLY.

what if you did have a stroke, and then you survived, but now you're permanently brain-damaged? I think that's what happened. I think you should think so too.

What is the incentive for these greater powers to prevent us from being alone? What would they benefit from if we deleted our social media and just stayed alone all day?

I have no idea what you're asking.

For why would those greater powers keep us alive with the social media and schools?

almost normal i think. fucking fuck. can use most of my body. and think at least somewhat. not in colors at least, fucking hell. feel like my head has be hit with a brick. words are still difficult. gonna be hell. need to sort through the shit i wrote later. head is pounding. thinking is hard. fuck.

probably. last year thought if was dying from stroke. i likely have clots whole life. cant check. fuck. fucked up mind before, ruined memory from stress. lasted almost year before recovery. never expected life past 40.


fuck. feel retarded. want to vomit, shower pass out,


just fuck my shit up. my body is just fucked. think i had a mini stroke. never did drugs other than caffeine. for the grades. as if that mattered.

feels like i was hit by a truck. fuck.

is this a thread of hypochondria ?

>You must learn and cultivate stillness to hear this voice. You must get rid of your cellphone. You must stop using social media. You must stop following the news.
>You must stop fearing boredom and learn to tolerate silence and aloneness.

WHY MUST WE DO SO? WHAT DO THE AFOREMENTIONED GREATER POWERS GAIN BY PERPETUATING THIS?

are you sobering up now or what?

>hypochondria
googled. i fucking wish. could barely use left arm or think. even now my body feels shit. maybe, doubt fear could make me think in colors. well more than normal.

think so. just feels like a worm is lodged in my brain.

different user here , and i just want to say you should stop asking why ,it's like i said trump killed your mother and the first thing out of your mouth is WHY he did that ?
really ? the why can be explained later ,for now check if the info is true or not ,i swear everytime people listen to some crazy conspiracy shit they all ask why without carring about the actual shit
also while i believe half what he said is bullshit ,the rest make sense actually

Why would you want me to stop asking why about things like greater powers? Those things are important, for they are greater.

You're thinking of these greater powers as being "out there" somewhere. They're not. I'm not talking about religious or supernatural figures. These powers and principalities exist inside us. We are Legion, we contain multitudes. There are gods and demons and angels and other entities built into the structure of the human brain as archetypes, basic personality types from which our own identity is constructed.

These entities are far older than our species, and wield tremendous power within the spheres of their influence. Anyone can choose to manifest these archetypes -- essentially becoming possessed -- and speak to others in a voice which originates inside their own head. Jung believed that this is what Hitler did; he manifested the Shadow and gave up what amounts to his soul (and sanity) to speak to people in the voice of their own Shadow.

The representational world is ruled by the powers and principalities of the material, of the physical. Over the material world they rule absolute, and so those who give up their identity in exchange for temporal power are the kings of the world. But their power is also limited to the physical world, which comprises only a tiny portion of human experience.

Their power is useless unless it's being wielded over someone. That's what "authority" is: the ability to force someone else to act against their will. They want to keep people on the surface of the world, where they have the power to compel obedience. Below the surface, in the depths of the sunless inner sea, there are different powers inimical to them.

I was essentially asking the same question as him so I'll provide my reasoning. The way is a test for the very purpose you mentioned in your response. It's a test to see if their claims hold up, it's not a blind inquiry

But why would the greater power do such great things while speaking to others?

really now ? did you even bother reading what i said ? you hear US invaded your basement and the first thing you do is ask WHY ? i think there are more important question or things to do like praying they don't find your hidden stach of pizza

The scorpion and the frog.

Why would you tell me that there are more important things to do when the greater powers themselves are important?

It makes more sense when these greater powers aren't portrayed as people. The inclusion of 'their' and 'them' expresses a totally different meaning. What I'm gathering is that you're saying we manifest what we feed our attention to. The natural optimist or pessimist that exists within our mind. No?

No, these entities aren't just metaphors. They're quite real. They just aren't external to us. But you're missing the point of what I'm explaining; the world is given over to the authority of the powers and principalities. It's their realm. The only choice you're given the power to make is to stay in your cage or leave it, and that's only because they haven't the power to take that choice away. If they could, they would.

The Deep Mysteries will offer themselves to you, but only if you step willingly out of your cage, and only if you survive long enough to dive beneath the surface before the sleepers can find and destroy you.

There's a deeper world. Find it. Or don't. Your choice.

faggot op here. leaving now. gonna copy posts latere, rape thread as you want. feel like absolute shit and gonna pass out. might shill out of pocket for doctor when awake.
for the few wondering, this wasnt a bait thread. might have had stroke or similar and needed to write symptoms. gonna fuck off now and sleep for a day.

also for the record it didnt feel like depression you edgy faggots, like sheer panic and discomfort having a rape orgy instead.

Final question op. Have you taken any uppers in the past 48 hrs?

Sleep well. You will be ok my friend