Good evening Sup Forums

Good evening Sup Forums.
ITT: What's the most illegal thing you may or may not have ever done?

Other urls found in this thread:

oke.io/nkTF2
youtu.be/k-Fx6P7d21o
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Try to build a shotgun at a hardware store
Ended up in a mental hospital for that


And guess my community colleges shitty bios password to live boot kali
(In my defense, the initials of the college 11 is a shitty password, lazy ass IT)

Trips here, strangely enough I don't have a police record / arrest record

When I was 11 me and my friend went to a dollar tree with two empty backpacks, and stole 2 entire backpacks worth of silly string

i stole a knife from TGI Fridays

So ya know how there are those "take one" bowls of candy on Halloween, well I fucked a dead raccoon in a Kohls parking lot

Downloaded hundreds of roms and IPA files

Top fag

Amature

Dubs here, I have gotten away with soooo much shot user.


Don't worry. If there's a hell I'll be there.

Go on...

I stole a chicken and she became my bestie. I still have her after all these years. She even comes on the plane as a therapy pet. Her name is Bella.

Bitch, fuck you, im trips/double dubs

I got robbed and jumped by a group of people when I was walking home drunk and pretended to be knocked out after I fell down and they kicked me a few times. I then followed them to some house and went back at 4 in the morning with a knife and walked in their house and demanded my phone and wallet back. I didn't get it because they immediately called the cops and I left. I got arrested 2 days later and got a year and a half in jail for it.

I feel like there's a good story here

>I stole a chicken and she became my bestie. I still have her after all these years. She even comes on the plane as a therapy pet. Her name is Bella.

My friend got robbed by a nigger women and got arrested for it because he said he'd kill her if he got arrested over it and made her replace his money from an atm. Fuckin niggers, my friend still in prison because he somehow got charged for armed robbery because a pellet gun was found where he was. I visited him and I know one the people he was with so I know he got fucked over by the nigger.

Raped dozens of women in college and participating in the kidnapping of a few after college and also raped them.

Me and my stepbrother set fire to this dude's car after he attempted to rape my stepsister. It was my stepbrother's idea, I just went along for the lulz.

i think you two should be friends

> Be college student
> Download CP
> Get V&

Bad times, 0/10, do not recommend. :(

Shit sucks user. If I just wasn't so drunk and pissed off I wouldn't have went back and did that. But I was 19 and stupid. I also didn't stop to think that they had my fucking ID so they knew my name which is how I got busted so fucking fast like a retard.

Shoved E-6000 uncapped up my ass and sat down. Don't click here if you don't want to see what that looks like: oke.io/nkTF2

I did that to a shit ton of trashcans when I was a teen. I once torched one and it set fire to the garage that was near it.

I just followed a guy that was mindlessly driving around my neighborhood.

>See somewhere in neighborhood, really good at recognizing cars
>See him pass my house while I'm about to park, decide to follow instead
>He takes a left turn, to the "loop" of neighborhood
>Go straight, I turn around and go back to where we came, see him AGAIN, this time opposite side of me, as I had planned
>decide to get out as he isn't seen again

Did I fucked up be? I felt kinda savage wanted to see what this jiggaboo was doing stalking in my neighborhood.

I can relate. I downloaded a video from limewire back in the day that was labeled something like,"Sexy teens suck cock" or something like that, turns out the girls were underage, and I got v& for it, even though I had no idea they were minors, and I sure as hell couldn't tell by looking at them.

Currently implicated in a local corner store burglary.

story time?

You got v& for downloading one video by accident? Kek.
What was the punishment for that

How long did you get V& for m8

Details? How are you being implicated?

Hang out in general area/block. Car seen in the area, but even in footage, it drives past. Same brand smokes etc

Yeah. They don't care how you got the shit. If you have it, you're guilty of possessing child pornography, no ifs, ands, or buts. At least that's how my state sees it, or saw it back then, anyway. I didn't spend any time in jail, they just gave me probation for 2 years, and I didn't even do the whole 2 years, they let me off after a year and 2 months.

see

>story time?

The's pretty much the whole thing. I downloaded CP, got busted, went to prison.

Definitely not worth it. If you like little girls, stick to lolicon. Or better yet, don't feed your deviant desires if you can get off other ways.

That's retarded you should be in the clear.

Also, sex offenders have it the worse in prison
Especially pedophiles

They got you on some kind of registry now?

This one time, I took a sip of a wine cooler and I was only 18

Top several gay results in pornhub are of a pornstar who looks 14 with his 'daddy'.

I may have given some people cancer. On purpose.

How?why?

did you get registered as a sex offender?

What?

No, fortunately.

Dam

404
Sex offender not found

A while back, my son and his friend stole some kid's bike, and I helped them strip it down and put the parts on their bikes, and took what was left of it to the recycling center and got a couple bucks out of it.

If I told you, I would have to kill you.

Indecent exposure in public.
>Be me
>I'm 11 and i decide to skinny dip with friends
>Take off my shorts and lay them by the poolside
>Friends and I are having a blast
>I get an idea
>I fucking stick my dick in one of the holes in the pool that pump out water
>Brilliant now my fuckin dick is stuck
>People are now coming into the pool
>Oh fuck oh fuck guys what do i do
>My friends are horrified that they'll get caught
>My friends run
>My dick gets unstuck
>FreeAtLast.JPEG
>Party comes rushing into pool
>Oh no
>I swim as fast as i can to my shorts on the side of the pool
>Kids see me buttass naked putting on shorts
>I put on my shorts and try to play it cool
>The kids in pure shock say nothing
>When i walk out of the pool area i fucking run
>Usian Bolt down the road
>Im now called dingle tfw

Confirmed nigger

What does tfw mean?

That face when

Yeah, At the time, what I had been charged with was a misdemeanor 1, so I didn't have to register, but like, a few months after I went to court, they changed the law to make it a felony, so I kinda dodged a bullet there.

>be me a few years ago in high school
>driving
>just finished smoking a bowl
>mall ninja friend sitting next to me panicking
>pulled over for changing lanes
>loudaf.pdf
>cop has me get out right away
>calls backup and searches my shit
>finds bowl and all the joints and roaches that assholes tossed or lost under the seat back
>be white, get ticket and told to drive safe
>something rolls into my foot at the next stoplight
>IT'S A FUCKING OUT-THE-FRONT SWITCHBLADE
>friend had "stashed" it in the passenger door
>mfw cops definitely found it and moved it
>mfw walked away from a felony weapons charge
>mfw later cleared of possession charge anyway

I guess I got lucky with that one. The same friend ended up getting popped with brass knuckles and LSD a couple of years later, guess it came back around for him.

Still about $15,000 from my previous place of employment. Never got caught.

I'm not a nigger, I didn't know that shit was stolen until after the cops showed up asking questions about it.

thought it meant "the fucking world"

I actually report pedo's to the FBI, but I wish guys like you could seek help

Sucks on both sides

youtu.be/k-Fx6P7d21o

IS THAT A FUCKING JOJO'S REFERENCE

Isn't it "that feel when"?
Now I feel like a dumbass for using it wrong all this time.
tfw

bet you didnt kick your sons ass.

Well... This guy tried to break into my apartment with his friend while they were drinking and or drunk. Most likely thinking he could steal my dank which I was a connoisseur of at the time. I clocked my shotgun and yelled I was going to call the cops. He threatened to kill me and continued slamming my door until I did call the cops. Not only did he never applogise, but he actually yelled some unintelligible angry shit weeks later trying to sound tough when my ex was around. I knew if I assaulted or took him out traditionally I would be at risk of legal prosecution. So I made sure him and his assailant were the only ones in their apartment when I released a homemade gas (not chlorine gas that's too obvious and ineffective) into their air ducts. The odds that he didn't get cancer are worse than winning the lottery, either way he will die prematurely. I was a vengeful psychopath, but he did shatter my idea of feeling safe in my own place for more than a year. I honestly think he did it because he heard me laughing at Jim Jeffries jokes the night before, he hated me for appreciating that humor.

In small amounts or in one swoop? What did you buy?

Well, there's nothing much I can do about it now, except stay as far the fuck away as I can from anything even resembling CP, and tell everyone else to do the same. I'd definitely report someone I suspected of doing pedo shit, whether I knew for sure or not. Better safe than sorry.

wew

You better believe I did, and I took that shit off his bike and disposed of it.

Helping a neighbour that killed a thief in the street to have an alibi after another scumbag neighbour tip the police that was him

Trust me buddy,
It haunts me, but I know for sure

I grew up around cops, i'm not wasting a feds time with bullshit

>a Jim Jefferies joke
Fuck he used be a funny cunt before they gave him that fucking shitty lefty show of his

Kek. My ex used to work at a gas station and did the same thing.
Not $15k, but it was at least a couple grand, a little at a time, and she never got caught.

He's still funny. It was actually his old stand up and episodes of legit that I was laughing at. As far as I can imagine these guys thought they could break into my place, beat me up and steal my shit. I was going blast them to pieces of they breached the door an inch. Not apologizing cost them their health. I could have done worse.

Small amounts over time. Minimum was $150 per week. Often I would do up to $500 depending on the intake of the business. $15k is the very minimum, could be a lot more. I did this for years.

It pretty much paid for drugs for the first year, then I got clean and it paid for my car loan for 2 years straight. Holidays. Car modifications. Also bought my gf a $1500 diamond necklace for her bday/graduation.
The trick is to use your income to buy those kinds of things and use the stolen cash to lay for grocieries/beer/drugs/gambling/nights out/resraurants/etc - things that can't be traced back to you via your account to prove you are spending more than you are earning.

>the most illegal thing he did was kill someone

that wasnt enough you should have turned in the little niglet in training. He learnt nothing from the experience except, dads gonna take my shit if i fuck up.

I didn't report him to the cops for that, because I had gotten myself involved, but I did call them when him and another of his retarded friends came home with a bunch of shit they'd shoplifted from the mall. He's now on juvenile probation, and has been banned from the mall for a year.

Burned down 3+ acres or when A friend I knew demolished a bathroom in a state park

I mean I rip music off the internet and watch pirated movies which is very very common, but illegal. I don't distribute though. Smoked weed, smoked and drank underage. Was pulled over and let go for running an implied stop when I had just gotten my license.
That s really about it
Nothing heinous
Oh wait I did give my friend my adderal freshman year, I hated that shit. Didn't make him pay for it. I just pocketed my meds and only gave it to him because at the time I thought it was funny. I really regret ever doing that because he has a huge drug problem now and threw his smarts away. I feel really fucking bad for it. If anything that's the most illegal thing I've ever done but I was like 15. Haven't done anything close since.

>If you like little girls, stick to lolicon.
If you like little girls you shouldn't enjoy seeing them being sexually corrupted.

set some hunting traps under my ex's, new boyfriends trailer stairs. The guy she cheated on me with, I'll be honest he's a lot more manly than I am.

showed up drunk infront of his house, he's a major racist, I came with my African friend, and stood out there holding my cock screaming "I'm gonna fuck you, come here I'll fuck you infront of your children. They'll watch you suck my cock" he came outside, ran back inside to grab something, comes back out running with a fat hammer.

ha snap. snap. we both pissed on him as he cried trying to get the metal off of his feet, was futile, infront of his 5 children, telling my ex if she calls the cops. "All of his daughters will be pregnant with niggers. He will house the new line of AFRO AMERICA the cops can't fix what you'll set his children up for. you can't pay rent, can you afford three abortions?!?" broke his hands with his fancy hammer, then knocked his lights out with it. I took my traps off his ankle/leg, and left him there unconcious in front of his trailer, my ex girlfriend, and his children crying. Apparently having steel tipped boots couldn't save him, nor that fancy fucking hammer of his. hahahah!

upon realizing what we just did was a major fuckup, I thought no matter what, I was fucked legally speaking... so we sped off thinking "we need to get high" had another brilliant idea, and drove to his fathers house. The victim had always told me his father was a dealer, I had no idea the man was stuck in a wheel chair, upon kicking the door into the mans wheel, it almost saved him. But eventually we over powered him, apparently the only thing holding us back was his chair screamed "DRUGS. YOUR SON SAID YOU HAVE DRUGS, WHERE ARE YOUR DRUGS?!?!?!?" throwing him out of his wheel chair. After gave us what we came for, we made sure he'd need another hospital trip.
Got so high.

I'm still waiting for ANY kind of consequence. I genuinely thought there would be a few... but nah.
0 regrets.

Why would your friend fuck up a bathroom in a state park? What a little fucking prick.

What a boring made up story.

the free hammer
I had 4 of those traps.. not just one, so rusty you can hardly set them, let alone pull them off something.

very boring is true, but hey

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

take it how you will :)

When you live in a little city with money and nothing to do for younger people theirs only really 2 things you have to do get fucked up and fuck things up.

The Truth about MyTMAR! SCAM!!
You provide your info and receive a loan OFFER after placing a deposit!
The staff will be paid from your deposit and Donald Ford will ask for more money to close with an excuse such as, "I can get you a better loan with a bigger down payment" or "It was only a loan offer"
They can't afford to pay the thousands they claim!!!!
Here is more about MyTMAR, the nationwide real estate "company"
MyTMAR is being investigated for fraud!!!
Take your business away from these thieves!

Search the owner Donald Ford's arrest record! He is a convicted criminal that will religion and the illusion of staff members in his company to scam you!
There is more proof this company is a hoax!
Don't fall for the lies!!

He is posting several properties under several names to hide his lies and will use scare tactics!

I broke shit in my dorm because I was pissed how it was mandatory, expensive, with shitty conditions. Tuition just went up the following year. Regret. ;(

i once stole from my school canteen. a few times.

Just a reminder that these threads are for vetting out criminals and farming probable cause. Have a nice evening.

Just a reminder that derp derp deeply derp. These stories are all fiction anyways dumbo.

One time I kicked the shit out of some black kid. I went too far and ended up breaking his neck, he almost died. I had a bad case and shit lawyer, and i got 2 days in jail

5 years probation and roommates got felony charges for paraphernalia and weed and got their hard drives confiscated.

Sometimes I go through the "20 items or less" express checkout at walmart with 21, sometimes even as many as 23 items

if you did that these days you'd be charged with a hate crime and get 5yrs min-man at San Quinton

I got off of probation with no violations, when there was plenty. My PO realized my probation was almost up and scrambled to violate me because she saw I had gotten literally nothing done, but she sent the violation too late so my case got closed. Kek.

what was the original crime? what provisions didnt u do?

well, fbi-chan, I once found an unlocked fbi vehicle and pooped in the front seat. it was hershey squirts too. You gun was in it too so I came all over the grips and down the barrel.

Dui. I didn’t finish all my classes, i did absolutely no community service (required 48 hours), I failed numerous drug tests, half the days I wouldn’t even call in. They threatened to violate me numerous times (met with po once a month), but I was always somehow able to manipulate them into giving me a 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th etc. chance.

Scouting for cars

nice

> be me, male, just turned 13. avg life. good family. christian upbringing. introvert. smart. good with computers.
> puberty hits. I discover there's porn on the internet.
> boobsareawesome.jpeg
> I discover there's pictures of girls my age online. I begin downloading cp. I knew it was illegal, but thought it's as bad as downloading MP3s. I rationalized it as "I don't have a chance with adults so they're not attractive to me". Do it for a couple months (June to Oct) here and there.
> Get caught. Cops arrest me during middle school day. Go to juvy for 3 days.
> get put into a special program so I don't have to serve 2 years time. Weekly group therapy sessions for 2 years. register as a level 2 sex offender from age 13 to 25. neighborhood flyered. School finds out. Kids pick on me. Have to move schools to avoid bullying. Class C felony on record. Local newspaper reports on it. Local news station reports on it. "13 year old faces porn charges" the headlines read. School finds out, everyone finds out.
> graduate therapy class with flying colors. had one probation violation for looking at regular 18+ porn but that's it.

To this day, I think the whole sentence was overkill. I haven't looked at cp since I was caught and I've never had urges or difficulty with avoiding it. It's good I was caught because it's not normal but the whole thing was just too much. I've had multiple regular healthy relationships, l've a normal fairly successful life for my young age, and have never really seen it as a vice. I don't think I was the monster I was made out to be. I understand kids are exploited and I don't believe cp should exist. I feel bad for the kids who were forced to do it. That being said, I really don't think it was all that heinous of an act for a 13 year old to be curious about his peers. I'm not condoning it, just saying the sentence had an enormous impact on my teenage years and I don't feel it was justified.