Employee confession thread. Share some edgy stuff you do on the job or that your work does. I'll start:
I work at a local fine dining restaurant
>we judge you based on what you order
>when you're needy and constantly ask for stuff and we say no problem we are lying
>if high grade food falls on the floor, chances are it will be back on your plate
>we take bread you don't eat and make croutons for the next day
>a lot of our shit is frozen
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When we say "see you next Tuesday!" We are calling you a C.U.N.T
I used to work in fashion retail. While working in fitting rooms, I was often able to see customers naked using various techniques.
My fiancé is a waitress and she's bi. She gets the cute young new waitresses to send her nude pics. Usually they just go in the bathroom and take them and send them to her. She's brought a couple of them home and I got to fuck them.
I'm an HVAC service technician. Most of the time, it doesn't take long to figure out what part is malfunctioning in a heating, or air conditioning system. When business gets slow, and we have to stretch out our time, there is a good chance that we've already figured out the issue and are in the mechanical room or attic, etc, playing games on our phones or scrolling through facebook. I've had to make maintenance on one unit, changing filter, belt, and checking electrical connections, last about 4 hours when it really only takes 20 minutes if you're really thorough.
The crouton thing doesn't surprise me at all, isn't that essentially what croutons are? Stale bread?
Yes.
Pretty much, we just slather them with some garlic and parmesan and toast them until crispy and crunchy.
that doesn't surprise me, good thing I have cameras everywhere I live.
You have a beautiful relationship
Take pics!
Living the dream
>take pics.
I don't work there anymore. Also, it would be entirely too difficult.
OP again cont. If you are the last table and you make us wait to close, we kill time by smoking in the basement and talking shit about you.
Former Walmart employee here
>Don't buy a fuckin' TV or computer or even a printer from there. The way that shit is loaded on the truck, plus thrown around after it gets unloaded, almost guarantees that shit is defective by the time it gets to you.
>Most smaller/more rural stores are much easier to steal from if you're a nigger that likes to steal. Usually only have one AP associate on duty at any time and they're almost never there at night. Most of the 'cameras' you see are only decoys or are really low fucking quality image. HBA, automotive and obviously electronics are the highest shrink areas.
>If you buy produce there, fucking wash it. I'm serious. If you saw the RPCs and work area in the produce backroom, you would know why. Plus nobody there fucking washes their hands, thus why half the store calls out due to sickness at times because some cockhead has to come to work sick.
> (OP)
>I'm an HVAC service technician. Most of the time, it doesn't take long to figure out what part is malfunctioning in a heating, or air conditioning system. When business gets slow, and we have to stretch out our time, there is a good chance that we've already figured out the issue and are in the mechanical room or attic, etc, playing games on our phones or scrolling through facebook. I've had to make maintenance on one unit, changing filter, belt, and checking electrical connections, last about 4 hours when it really only takes 20 minutes if you're really thorough.
Commercial units Union "worker"?
non union actually.
You deserve min wage
> worked at trendy clothing store
> not a big space but expensive
> change room always has either chads or barbies in it
> manager wants to institute 20min time limit in change room
> we put a little sign up
> this gives me an idea
> finnaly got a decent commission on top of my pay
> buy $350 clock/spycam
> hang it in change room above sign
> gathered fap fuel for months
Basically if you see anything other than three walls, a mirror, and door.. Someone may be watching.
OP cont. We used to pimp out really attractive servers and take money for them to be fucked in the martini lounge
Former Wal-fag here.
These points are legit.
Also.. Don't buy at Wal-Mart.
It's a genuinely shitty company.
I worked in burger king when i was younger and let me tell you...IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Ate freshly grilled burgers whenever. Fresh fries all day errryday. Made fanyas with just syrup so u get crazy sugar rushes. However if thwre were ever straws or cups with winning cash prizes...i walked into the stockroom one day and there was my manager, assistant manager and two supervisors rifling through all of them to get the winning ones. i busted them so they let me in on it too. Fucking funtimes.
contractor. If I've been left alone in your house i've masterbaited. Do regular work on an office building, cam in womens bra's that they had in desks and lockers
I work retail at h&m when I'm in charge of dressroom I usually take panties/bras that girls try and jerk off to them in the toilet (employee toilet doesnt have those beep things)
call me a creep or w/e feels good
>we judge you based on what you order
Like I give a fuck about your opinion of what I eat. Oh no, what will the waiter think if I order the prime rib?
>fine dining restaurant
Outback is not fine dining
How did u pimp out the fucking servers?
Explain fine dining op, do you mean something like olive garden? Any tips on what to get to avoid this, I usually order the BLT club sandwhich if a restaurant carries it
I considered including that too, don't buy their shit, but most people will anyway. Absolutely one of the shittiest companies to work for. I don't shop there anymore. I'd rather pay extra than shop there.
The corporate culture, Academy, One Best Way bullshit is garbage too. Not sure how long ago you might have worked there but if it was a few years ago, believe me, it has gotten worse.
Our manager would staff the really cute girls for private room dinner service. Throw in some rich fucks, politicians, booze and it's a fucking brothel
If the lady who tried on the panties weighed 450 lbs, would that still turn you on?
Obviously a chef at Wendy's. Get with the program, junior.
>work as a vendor and bounce around stores
>my job is to scan items to report on shelf availability to the manufacturers so they know their products are indeed being sold
>also sell cardboard displays to management when they have excess stock on our merchandise and need to sell through it fast
>costumers often see my lanyard and assume I work for the store.
>"excuse me do you work here?"
>"nope"
>*gives deer in the headlights look for a few seconds before walking away in a confused daze*
>fuck stupid people that need their hand held while shopping
No, two Michelin stars and a five star chef. Basically if it's anything fancier than a chain restaurant, get one of the special entrees and not a sandwich. We will make a sandwich but it's not the best when considering the rest.
worked at a high end restaurant before cleaning dishes in the kitchen
EVERY time some retarded cunt woman who hasnt been fucked in forever would send food back because "it wasnt cooked right" the chef would just let it sit there for a while and then send it right back out while saying that exact quote about them not getting fucked.
obiously I only do teens/hot girls
Ha, our chef will burn it to a crisp
Which company?
At my old store the Frito Lay guys were always cool as fuck. Giving us free shit and just good guys to talk to. Girl that worked for Pepsi was a total fucking whore and probably fucked fifteen guys in our store.
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
As long as client pays at the end
...
Used to work night shift at a shitty hotel
>Really kinky coworker, not super hot but alright, a solid 6.5/10
>We started messing around after working together for a while. Sex was okay but she wanted to ramp things up a bit.
>She'd come in around 1 or 2 am sometimes while I'm working alone on graveyard shift.
>We'd go into rooms of people that I'd already checked out earlier in the night and fuck in their room.
>She wanted to ramp things up further so we started going into rooms where people had gone out for the night (out to bars, etc.) fuck in the beds, never cleaned up and just pulled up the sheets and blankets when we were done.
>One time we fucked in a room that we thought had left, when we were getting set up, notice a woman in the bed. She's blackout drunk.
>Try to leave but my coworker thinks it's more exciting this way. Girl is super hot, solid 8/10. Coworker gropes her tits while I watch, she never even stirs, coworker sucks me off and we leave.
>Checked her out later that morning, super hungover.
This is Sup Forums. That is not obvious.
Advantage's Unilever team. Its a good job, but the costumers are always so cringy.
NOW THATS AN ASS
that's what makes it obvious.. are you fucking retarded?
kek
>what will the waiter think if I order the prime rib?
Depends on what "doneness" you requested.
Dat ass is ridiculous
No shit. Everyone knows all of that already. This is "edgy stuff" to you?
What's your opinion of someone who orders rare?
I think people who order well done are fucking wasting their money.
People in the service industry regularly shit talk tables, managers are pretty much always on the employees side and think you're being the dick when you ask to talk to them. A decent percentage of the staff where I work smoke weed or drink on the job. Not a lot but enough to get a buzz going on.
Most staff don't like boxing up food but it's just part of the job so whatever. Washing hands isn't uncommon but is probably less common than most people would be comfortable with. It's very common for servers to be shit talking tables nonstop in the kitchen but be very friendly with the table.
Also a shocking number of you cunts show up like ten minutes before closing and it's annoying as fuck please stop.
You work at a restaurant. No one is paying you to think
nobody cares how you order it unless it's well done. then everyone judges you.
I keep out stock updates at work
>Actual stock 999.983 m3 stock
>Add 1 mm to measurement
>Stock is now 1.000.337 m3
>Never change
Kfc here, agree about the food part - its like a dream
I work for a food processing company, one of the largest conglomerates in the world. Lets just say 80% of what you eat through any chain restaurant, corporate grocery stores and convenient stores has a good amount of rat feces, plastics and other non food elements in it
Might as well just get a bag of beef jerky and be done with it
>rare
Way to ruin it.
Anything past blue is faggotry.
Oh also when I polish plates or silverware as the night goes on and the restaurant gets darker I start getting less and less careful about getting food that's stuck on the plate or whatever off because people don't notice. Many of my coworkers do the same.
We use the same rags to wipe down tables and plates all night to the point that I seriously doubt they're getting germs off or disinfecting anything by the end.
Used to work in an oil processing plant and Im not going to say which
>bosses only followed safety procedures on paper. Everyone does this and if you dont play ball, they will just basically black ball you and you wont be able to get hired on anywhere else either
>you are expected to be in really unsafe conditions to get the job done. While legally you have the right to refuse work you know is dangerous (ex. working around a toxic chemical without the proper breathing mask), if you actually do this, they will just fire you for coming in a min. late the next day
>same thing with environmental shit. Oil spills out all the fucking time, like multiple times a day and we just scoop it up/throw sand over it and never report it
>oil ALWAYS leaks into the river. Not only that, but other plants have some weird shit that looks like stale/piss yellow cotton candy that floats on the top of the river in the morning
>Every other person is working on this very dangerous equipment either drunk or high
>liquor bottles are found around work regularly
>this is because the work fucks up peoples, especially the older guys, backs and knees and they self medicate by getting drunk or high so they dont feel the pain while they work
>usually find random dead animals all over the work site (frogs, birds, cats. ect) who got exposed to some chemical or whatever
>the land is so fucking polluted that they literally have to buy out the land hundreds of miles around the work site because people just living 20 miles or so from the site get cancer+any farm land is made useless and dead.
I spent a year doing this before I got the fuck out because I realized how miserable I would be in the years to come. Working 12 hour rotating shift+pretty much always getting called in on my days off meant I literally had no fucking life other than sleeping, eating, and working.
Never tried it, might have to though
You honestly sound like completely ineffectual and irredeemably replaceable, average people.
>when you get cucked by woman
...
>you judge us based on what we order
And we judge you based on being in the service industry, champ. A server at a fancy restaurant is still a server.
>britbongs died in the 1830s for the ten hour working day and here we are in 2017 still working 12+ hour days by "choice"
Neo-liberalism was a mistake.
Leak that shit, you'd be helping the enviroment and become famous at the same time.
Damn, got anything to share
Posting from work at the moment.
Thay shit is highly illegal btw.
I could've done jail time.
no. All it will do is hurt the people at the bottom, the big bosses will get a slap on the wrist, and it will do shit to help the enviorement anyway.
I say this as a conservative who fucking hates bernie sanders, but if you ever hear some middle class person defend these oil companies, they are basically nothing more than useful idiots/stupid cucks. Even the small regional plants make so much fucking money you cant even grasp it.
post pics??
Supermarket delivery driver. Often shat in back of van next to food when caught short
Shit dude, lotta hotties come through there or were you sifting through a bunch of old ladies?
>work at panera bread
>they're cool
>everyone is chill
>they encourage us to be ourselves
>many of my coworkers dont care about the food they're serving
>a lot of it looks like shit
>but not me
>i try to make the best damn sandwich/salad u ever had
>always
I'm working in fashion retail... how?
Why extend the time it takes? Are you cooking the customer or your job? Both?
Electrician... have been "paid" for cutting labor hours out of bill with BJ/Sex on 5 different occasions one of them a repeat.
Kek
This reminds me of a guy I knew when I was younger. He acted like a douchebag because he worked at a bmw dealership. As if selling $70k cars is that much more prestigious than selling $30k cars. You're still a car salesman.
luv you dude
Depends. If there are curtains, oftentimes the curtains just don't close all the way. Other places have the right combination of a wide gap over the fitting room, and and mirror-finished caps over the fire sprinklers.
Did their wives ever find out?
Fellow h&m employee here too, which country?
Right. Keep it vague. I bet they're watching
>>> be Global Account Manager for a software firm, dealing with big manufacturing companies (Audi,Toyota,Airbus,Coca Cola,etc)
>>> We are experts on both our company and yours. We smile and make you think we are your direct link to the company-- but really we are excellent actors and mostly dislike listening to your bullshit.
>>>> We make bank,but spend a lot on suits and shit to make us look top notch. This too is smoke and mirrors.
>>>>We are, by nature, sharks. We will literally devour you piece by piece over the long run. You aren't saving money in the end, we usually get a 236% profit increase over time.
We literally put our dicks down your throats and you thank us for it.
>>>>We say nice things about our competitive enemies, but really we were taught how to slide in small barbs that affect how you look at those companies in the long run (think Pepsi vs. Coke ).
>>> We will do business with you competitor in the end. Love may make tgr world go round,but money greases the wheel.
>>>>We are genuine sociopaths in a suit and will do anything necessary to secure accounts,sales and the almighty dollar. I know a fellow account manager from another firm that sent dead animals to his rival and also paid a guy to sabotage another rival's car to miss a presentation.
>>> We see the proverbial forest and also see all the little proverbial trees too. That means we judge you, your employees and your business model in the first four hours of meeting.
>>All of us drink and fuck/play with ourselves probably too much.
Shows how much you know. Do you understand the concept of commission? It's similar to tips for servers, except in black and white with no variables. You sell this much, you get this much. Add on bonus/spiff and you can make a shit to of money selling NICE cars. The guy selling Mazda, not so much.
Kids could have been changing!
>We literally put our dicks down your throats and you thank us for it.
So like while I'm sleeping or..?
Because non-union workers are different; right!? LOL, naive.
Almost exclusively hotties.
Jeans were $130+ and our top end for sizes in stock was 6.
The best was the teens trying on shit they couldn't always afford.
We had designer cocktail and a-frame dresses too that were $200-$500.
I've seen so much highschool gash I can masturbate from memory anywhere.
Kind of ruined me a bit tbh.
I literally crave young girls I can't get.
>be walmart electronics employee
>realise how easy stealing would be
>act cool make it look like you're workin for the cams
>start out small, phone accessories etc..
>end up stealing thousands worth including up to an iPod touch worth a few hundo at the time
Thank you Panera Man.
Actually, yes-- in the metaphorical sense. We usually draw money from accounts by the night time, due to having to ball it together to float on the stock markets in Europe and the US. Only an idiot would float it in the Asian market these days.
Right. He's still a car salesman, just a better paid one. I'm a server routinely handing tables $200 checks, so I see a lot more money than the applebees guy. I've worked in both shitty and nice places. Shitty places, I would clear maybe $125 per night. Nicer places, like current, I can do $300 pretty easily.
u cheeky cunt m8
No kids clothes.
No parent would pay those prices for something that would be grown out of.
The low low end of age would be 13.
But that was rare.
>also learn register price lowering tricks near end of employ
>sold myself tons of league diamonds cards for pennies a peice
Nice, got any good stories; chicks touching themselves, girls going in together, etc.
Own a small town plumbing shop. Local single mom had issues with their septic. Way more than she could afford. She basically became my slut for the 2 weeks I and my top guy were working the job. Double teamed her multiple times. She was prolly a 7/10 milf, but the big time was when 6 months later her hot water heater went out in the middle of december, she wanted to offer same deal, but I told her that it would be cheaper for me to just get a prostitute. She paused a bit and said what if I let you fuck my daughter.
Daughter is a very petite and tight 16 year old, who happened to be mentally challenged (not downs but real simple/slow). She basically taught her daughter how to sex with me as the stunt cock!
hottest thing ever... felt a little guilty but realized that this girl is only gonna be life support for a pussy her whole life, and I might as well get in on the ground floor.
And yes I did bust her hymen...
maybe spend some of your jagoff time learning how to properly greentext
I'm the Global account manager---
Commission is a gold mine in the right industry.
I make 4% myself.
And just a single license from my firm goes for 50,000 USD....and companies usually buy 16 to 20 licenses.
I'm sure other guys can calculate how much that is for a nice ride.
pics of mom and retard pl0x