How do i injure myself so im out of action for a week?

How do i injure myself so im out of action for a week?

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Find a hot wheels car and shove it up your ass

Knife in leg.

...

Gunshot to the head could work?

sugarless gummy bears, 10lb bag

eat black woman's ass

Kick something hard enough to break a toe or get the flu.

Even a stomach sickness is a good excuse to be out of action.

pretend you threw your back out. soft tissue injuries are hard as shit to detect, so nobody will be able to prove it's fake.

You could always go into work or wherever you need to get out of going, take some ipecac syrup and just vomit everywhere. Not that painful and shouldn't last too long

like scoob we gotta save namek

Cover your hand with sliced potatoes so the starch will weaken your bones, after a few hour s remove them and you will easily be able to break your arm.
It will hurt a lot less then actually breaking your arm.

they stopped making it in 2010 because dumb cunts kept drinking it to stay skinny, so now if your kid finds and swallows a bunch of pills they're just fucked.

This. Do dead lifts with bad form until you cant do them. Youll be out for the week

be careful not to actually slip a disk though. that shit will cause you problems for life.

>Youll be out for the week
You'll be easily disabled for a month or more if you do them badly enough.

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u good

the key is to FAKE the back injury because you can't prove that it's fake. if you are going to actually try for a real injury, avoid the back altogether. too risky. just drop something heavy on your toe.

for what op? i need to know

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Microwave balls. Five minutes should do it.