Fuck you Rian Johnson!!!

Fuck you Rian Johnson!!!


The worst Star Wars movie ever fucking made. The worst storyline of the year. Holy fuck am I pissed.

>Yoda laughs as he destroyed ancient Jedi knowledge and says "Who Cares"
>>Rey gets no training as gets stronger with the force despite her not being a Skywalker or Palpatine. Her parents are nobody alcoholics
>Snoke is... no one. Just some bad guy who we know nothing about
>One of the worst 3rd acts ever
>Finn vs Phasma was so fucking short that they kill her off
>WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO SNOKE AND WHO THE FUCK IS HE!??

DO NOT GO AND SEE THIS DO NOT SAVE YOUR MONEY

This is why we pirate moives

agreed

Yoda didn't destroy the books. Rey stole them before she left, you can see them in the falcon when Finn takes a blanked out of one of the compartments at the end. Yoda destroyed the tree so that Luke wouldn't know about it. Why? Fuck knows.

How are you even defending it? are you a jew troll? They literally destroyed everything that Star wars was. Characters, canon, the force.
GO AWAY JJ Abrams, you have done enough damage here.

ok so the story was shit, and it basically ruined everything that star wars was. But whats important is that the franchise has #diversity now.

Listen man, I know that 150 minutes is too long for an autistic person to pay attention for, so just because you were too busy sucking your thumb or something to notice the key points of the movie doesn't mean it was bad. I'll let you know when the colouring book is released so you can enjoy it at something more your speed.

They got your money they don't care what you thought about it lol

Fuck off millennial, as if you had any idea what a good movie was.

Did you watch the movie with your carer? Is that why you were so uncomfortable when Luke milks the Alien, Because you got hard thinking about the family dog again? Poor user. Poor poor user.

jew faggit defends a movie that is star wars in name only.
if rey isnt a fucking skywalker then why is that bitch's bigass fucking teeth on screen?

They have alienated their older audiences, and essentially gone full on child friendly. You hated jar jar binks from the prequels, well at least they balanced that childish shit with some real duels.

It's tailored literally for kids with small attention spans now. I could deal with the shitty narrative if they just gave us more force and
Iightsaber battles.

Damn down dude, I only argued with one of your points because it was wrong. I actually agree with the rest of the points you made, especially with Ray being a nobody. So stop crying and go back to sucking George Lucas' wrinkled old dick.

Makes me cringe watching all those mini behind the scenes on how much those actors had to train for the lightsaber combat. They got nothing on the prequels.

>Jedi is literally derived from Hebrew
Have fun being a piece of shit

im a different dude who thinks you're a massive cocksucker

yea who honestly likes actual jews?

All I'm saying is you're doing the franchise a favour. If George Lucas stopped fucking you for long enough to make a new movie we would all be fucked. Thanks friend.

god they must pay you well

Star wars ended at 6 everything else is just badly written fanfiction

>it must be the jooz!

i guess yoda burned that tree down so luke doesnt notice that rey stole the book. doesnt make the movie any better but still.

The fucking Virgin has risen, he has been angered. His years of collecting plastic junk and storing useless knowledge about the franchise has lead to this moment.

WTF was with the Leia superman move?

I never really noticed how pathetic star wars fans are.

>new Star Wars movies comes out
>it's actually really good
>all the shitposters pretend it's the worst movie ever
>not a single piece of valid criticism

Every single time.

>anihilate a whole fleet with a muslim allah akbar ship.

Negates 95% of what has been made before in the franchise plot wise.

Well,color me surprised.

I enjoyed the last one. But so did my friends who say this one isn't good. I'm scared to watch it.

I have no problem with this. White centrist storylines need to go.

>a galaxy far far away

Casino with poker tables like a casino on earth.

Horse like creature runs around a circuit like they do at the races on earth.

>they'll off starwars just like they did Steve Irwin

Yeah TFA was better because it left you with shit you wanted to know more about, the new one is "underwhelming" at best

I have no idea, guess they wanted her to do something force-ish before they kill her off

Human beings who eat and sleep and fuck like on earth.

>carer
Caregiver. ‘Tard wrangler. Potato herder. Squeegee patrol for the window lickers.
Learn to use your words, user.

Please tell me you're trolling. Every planet in the franchise has had some kind of off world feel to it. Corruscent was like the closest thing to earth that we could try to relate to, but even that had creative sci fi elements.

It masquerades as a new touch to the franchise but regresses with the most important sci fi concepts that define it

rey being a nobody is 1000x better decision than a cliche like Luke's daughter.

>
>>a galaxy far far away
>Casino with poker tables like a casino on earth.
>Horse like creature runs around a circuit like they do at the races on earth.

A long time ago...

Who says our culture doesn't replicate more ancient things?

I always felt like The Forest Moon of Endor was closest.

Let's be honest, it was over as soon as they made the new main character a bitch.

I am yet to see a 25-35 year old slightly overweight white aspergic in any of these movies.

Come on , I thought we were about inclusion.

are you really suprised though? were you actually expecting something good and worthwhile? I've always loved sw since I was a kid, and still do, but these new ones are dog shit. even lucas hates them.

Has it leaked onto the intetwebs yet?

...

The word "jedi" is said to have been adapted by George Lucas from Japanese 時代劇 (jidaigeki) (meaning "period drama" motion pictures about samurai),[2] or perhaps inspired by the words Jed (King) and Jeddak (Emperor) in the Barsoom series by Edgar Rice Burroughs, a series that Lucas considered adapting to film.


So not in this case.

> KYLO-REY FORCE SKYPE

You can tell this was written for present day autist kids as they mimicked social media with Kylo and Rey force chatting to each other

The fact that she can see him and says to put a shirt on is a call back to modern social media risks.

Absolute shit

The original thought outside the box and introduced they way of thinking. It was defining. You would have parallels of things we have on earth, creatively different with relatable concepts.

what more needs to be said...

>professional critics who review movies for a living
>edgy millennials who hate everything popular and mainstream

Hmmm, who do I trust on this one....

/thread

I really wanted her to be Palpatines great grand daughter hidden away.

Fucking rekt.

All over the place a few weeks back

Porkins was not aspergic.

Way ahead of you, dude. Haven't consumed any star wars media or spent any money on anything star wars produced since Lucas sold all rights to Disney.

It's the stupidest pleb shit now, and your list is just the tip of the iceberg. Just wait for the weekly Star Wars SitCom they'll have on The Disney Channel.

thing is - the movie is both good and bad. it was too packed with useless shit that served only to get those 150mins.
but there are good scenes in the movie and it is a bit different.

but it lacks epicness that some previous ones had.

if Jeanette McCurdys tits are there , Im in.

>trusting only one source instead of combining the two to figure out where the movie lands

A shekel here, a shekel there.

yoda knew the books were in the falcon retard,
he was teaching luke a lesson

>Critics who get paid/strong armed into giving thing good reviews
>Milenial faggots
>People who actually acknowledge Star Wars is stupid and about the adventure and fun. And that it should have ended in 1983.
I'd go with the last one

moar like listening to people who are paid to not bad mouth a movie and kids who haven't even seen the original bladerunner.

Does R2D2 meet with Luke?

Yes, for a short and pretty pointless scene

fuck your passion

Her tits are all over the internet, dude, you don't need to see some shitty movie to see what her tits look like

I've gotta agree.
He literally made Snoke a nobody, Reys lineage pointless and gave the fan favorite lead character Luke the stupidest and cheapest death.

They're destroying the old characters because they never cared to understand them. The people doing the creative writing for those now, often have no experience with the old movies or books. It's all about targeting a new, young audience, because they assume the older star Wars fan base will continue to consume Star wars media and merchandise simply because of the name and some nostalgia.

I lost interest in the series since the remakes in the 90's, but I'm curious:

>Yoda laughs as he destroyed ancient Jedi knowledge and says "Who Cares"

Why? what's the setup? What was the apparent reason for Yoda doing that, and how? Did he burn a scroll or something? That's literally something a Sith would do. It sounds like the people writing for the show are alien to the story universe.

Sith code: Through Passion I gain Strength.

Do the new protagonists seem especially passionate? Jedi are supposed to be stoic. Burning books and laughing about it is not only not stoic

A star wars movie without a single lightsaber duel.

Literally 0/10

I should be able to smell bullshit by now but I feel as though this is legit. I too have not held high hopes for this new trilogy basically because Disney is behind it and we all know how good they are at appealing to the mainstream audience what with call backs to old characters and references. Kylo ren has nothing on Vader as a sith Lord and Rey is just a lame push for woman activist to be proud of their "movement". I wouldn't be surprised if this bitch got paid way more than Mark Hamill.

This was the biggest disappointment tbqh. Luke and Kylo should have had an epic duel at the end.

The biggest plot twist in that whole movie was Finn ending up with Rose and not Rey