Hey /b if i threw a jar of cum on someone i hate how much would i have to pay for doing that?

Hey /b if i threw a jar of cum on someone i hate how much would i have to pay for doing that?

The jar would only break if it the ground. Use a cum balloon

Charged with sexual assault and register as sex offender for life.

Would that really count as a sexual assault tho?

Depends on your state but it's typically felony assault with bodily fluids. 10-20 years

It would make you a sex offender, so pretty much the rest of your life. Even if the DA doesn't particularly want to punish you for it, mandatory sentencing means you're basically fucked.

Retard.
Accurate.

Yes

Yes, the semen makes it a sexual act and even dumping water on someone is assault. This is going to be a sexual assault charge and life as a registered sex offender. Have fun announcing that to your neighbours every time you move.

The real question is it illegal to throw my feces on my crush at work?

When i did it i never got caught, that's the trick. It helps when you throw it off bridges or rooftops.

Alright so if i would perhaps feed it to him by putting it in a bottle with another fluid like coke or something? Still a sexual assault?

Yeah man. If you really wanna feed him your seed just ask if he's hungry. If he says yes produce said semen and tell him to enjoy

So the real question here is: how can i get my sperm on him legally?

If you EVER get your DNA pulled by the cops for any reason you are probably fucked. You realize that, right?

>Hello sir would you like my sperm on you
>Ye

What if i cum on someone in the public onto a stranger. What would i get charged for?

Well what if i mask it really good like saying that it's yogurt? I mean come on guys i just really want to soak someone with mah cummies

What are you not getting about this moron? Doing anything with your cum to someone else unknowingly and without consent is sexual assault and probably some other charge relating to bodily fluids.

> Doing anything with your cum to someone else unknowingly
>unknowingly
That's the fucking point doing it so he doesn't know that i did it so he can't charge me because he doesn't even fucking know that it happened

You're a 13 year old girl aren't you?
Underage b&

STOP THROWING YOUR JAR OF CUM ON SOME HOT LADY. SHE MIGHT NOT ENJOY IT AND THERE IS A CHANCE YOU UNWILLINGLY IMPREGNATE HER.

That sir, is NOT a jar of cum. I’ve seen jars of cum and it would first take at least a full year to accumulate the quantity you are suggesting in this photo. And second it deteriorates and ROTS, it turns brown and seperates into different layers as the dead seamen sink to the bottom.
YOU are a fucking liar OP

you’re making me feel retarded by even reading this

about tree fiddy

Kek

Any of your faggots remember cumbottles guy? Used to turn up on boxing day with are demi john of cum he collected over the uear?

Yep. It is a big deal. And if you have any STD it is even a bigger deal. Definitely can get years in prison for that.

Jizzus Christ, oh how I miss Jizzmas