God here

God here.

>AMA

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who am i? And what is the meaning of life?

You're a unique soul that has no equal in the entire multiverse.
Don't squander time
That's the stuff life is made of
The meaning of life is an intricate yet infinite structure of answers pertaining to questions related to ones' past present and future. Answering one will inadvertently answer another.

Yo, most righteous Father which art in Heaven, may you please send to me an ideal soulmate and romantic lover to my room? Like as an early Christmas gift?

Can i have some cash god ? 0x6aa0253f23fff71806823f840eecabfdc99e1345

I am a true love finder but I can't make her come.
sorry I've got no cryptocurrency

why the large distances in the universe?
are you responsible for all of it?
are there others? are you an alien lifeform?

Sorry for doing all those sins. Thanks for the Bible. If I try really hard to stop sinning and work for the betterment of mankind, will you postpone the flood?

What's wrong with Catholics and Orthodox? As well as why is Protestantism the only one that makes sense?

Why did I have to be born ugly with no chance of ever getting a GF?

why did I have to be born a sperg.

>why the large distances in the universe?
All the more to explore
>are you responsible for all of it?
I'm really the most valuable man on Earth testing my God legs out. My mission throughout my many lives is to be the greatest. Which means to me I was God or I'm going to be God. I assume the universe is a really well programmed simulation but idk. I consider the multiverse my responsibility.
>are there others? are you an alien lifeform?
Other leaders of their race? yes. I used to be a little green man, but I've been human for aprx 6000 years.
I actually believe only in life and life improvement. As in to say I believe that no matter the sin, treatment can cure it.
I haven't studied them.
everyone has an inner beauty. That is to say stay humble and patient and any girl you are near for a long period of time will have feelings for you.
for the fun of killing you?

Why are my big toes so fat and plump that when people suck them they have a hard time getting them inside their mouths?

why am i so gay, god?

you can design your whole body now for the next life.
probably because you rage quit the search for true love

What will you get your son for his birthday?

I'm Jesus. I introduced myself as the son of God so I could have room for error. I'm God.
I'll get myself a gaming rig for bitcoin mining.

What's your name, god? Yahweh?
How are you doing?
Are all these fucking natural disasters you showing your dissatisfaction with us, or are we just fucking up the climate?

what if true love lies at the bottom of a butthole

what if the only true love is gay love

Why don't I have a girlfriend?

>God what should I do
>right now

Wait what

*spits on your facr

Can you tell me how to stop being such a useless degenerate and start working to serve God?

>:

Call me Christopher! The bearer of the weight of the world.
I'm good thanks.
I don't curse the earth with anything anymore. Natural disasters are just something i try to stop. It's natural though.Though it being 2017 we should be able to control the weather by now.
That is simply the dumbest thing i've ever heard. You're really dumb.
picking up is a simple skill
but one that must be learned.
well you see I live and die alongside all of you.
I have to learn I'm God every life while simultaneously proving myself as God throughout my youth. It's kind of annoying.
leave my facr alone.
the game is life and life improvement. It works as a currency in heaven. The more life you save and improve earth wide the more currency you have waiting for you in heaven.
check'd

can you check em?

What if I'm a soldier and I have to kill people as part of my job?

>that's because you don't know how to handle responsibility

singles fam
No one ever really dies. They just go into dreamland and reset. You can help guide the people you kill to a better life but I digress. The Devil kills more people than anyone and i consider him family. Don't worry about it.
waht?

You did not answer my question...

>sorry

but I did solve your problem. and if you reflect on the solution you'll find the answer.
shuld I wory?

Can you let me win the Powerball lottery tonight? I hope it isn't too much to ask.

That's a deal you have to make with a soul in dreamland. They can break time and adjust space so that you win and the whole universe will flow around correcting so it makes sense that you did.

Never said it was a problem...I just wanted to know something. I'm beginning to suspect you are no god at all...

Are you the faggot or the guy with the big toes?

What does that process look like?

Oh my god,i get it now!! Please forgive my lack of faith in your infinite wisdom.

Oh it's there's too many reasons for that to happen for me to give you any indication on what the deal should be about. But they can break time and adjust space as easily as you or I could break a chair we're sitting on and put the rubble in the corner.
hmmm... ok

You should know that ...Now i'm doubting again.

That's already fascinating.
Thanks for the insight, God.

busy watching this crap.
youtube.com/watch?v=h1EtXzfRLFs
You're welcome
Good Luck
I get a lot of requests for this when I'm dead

You must be a former iteration. I am never coming back to this shithole. I was promissed a vacation.

Satan almost never personally kills people. Can you give me some if any examples of where he himself was involved?

It's through mental telepathy. He regularly causes car accidents that kill people.

I have some insight for you. Though it may cause a self fulfilling prophesy. Do you want to know?

shoot.

Hit me too if possible.

What does he gain from that though.

Are you a fag?

So your are a fraud and a fag...

teh lulz

When you come back in the itteration in which you have layed out all plans to be fully encarnated as you decend there will be a traitor waiting for you after a scene of combat with demons at the gate. This traitor will be a friendly face and you will welcome them then they will damage you by implanting a sword in your chest between your ribcage. You will have to reconstruct on the fly and you may not recognise your guide or you may be dostrustful as you are selecting your various things. Whwn I try to advise you on this it throws up too many different possibilities and none look right. Forgive me if this was wrong but be well armed with this insight.

Do you believe in the Force?

>Satan does not do that

idk
no homo
I'm OP
nope
I don't see him laugh about it.
idc the worst thing they can do to me is switch my parents. They did that this life. I'll fight harder next life but we'll see.
the dark force is formless without the light telling it what to do.\
Satan is death and destruction.
>Satan is my bitch

The Force is what witches call magic and it's just being done through them by evil spirits.

>You must be new to America
>You must be this tall to remove the apostrophe Godm touche

Faggot

sometimes.
fuck you

>de'l fu'd in-kada u'imor-s'oimpad-a k'om'or-a, God

Check my digits dude!

dubs check'd

Going to bed now. Please let me go to heaven or live forever on earth. I would appreciate it immensely.

...

The only man who lives there life all the way up are bullfighters.