Messi was like a ‘dead body’

>Messi was like a ‘dead body’
>Xoana Gonzalez has slammed Messi’s shift in the sack, saying:
>It was many years ago. In truth he was very young. But he knew what he was doing, was not minor, that was the important thing.
>His security told me ‘got someone you want to know’. I was curious to see who it was, and froze when I saw it was my idol Messi I froze.
>I said that he is the wimp, though because he sent his security to get me. There I noticed that he is very shy.
>We talked about music and cannot remember if he told me he had a girlfriend or not. After a while we went to his apartment in Puerto Madero.
>When one plays across the whole pitch, you expect someone to return the favour. I wanted him to show me more than that. At one point I felt like I was with a dead body.

is messi retarded, autistic or just bad at sex?

Other urls found in this thread:

theblemish.com/2016/06/apparently-leonardo-dicaprio-vapes-and-listens-to-mgmt-during-sex/
thehollywoodgossip.com/2015/01/rihanna-leonardo-dicaprio-is-the-best-ive-ever-had/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

If I was as successful as Messi is in all regards I would take no shame in being the laziest lover ever. I'd just lay there and demand orgasms.

>underpaid bitches making claims about sex with athletes
>her name is xoana
>with an x

All the above. I also doubt he touched that """"woman""""

He makes millions of people cum every time he plays, you just can't have it all.

At least he didn't anally rape her like the dead eyed psycho.

that´s a good argument. Fuck pleasuring a slut, I would came the way I want and how I want, is a fucking slut not my wife to be.

what an entitled cunt, you should be grateful you got a taste of the messicock

Trap

damn now messi fucks traps? i dont know who is /ourguy/ anymore

actually if you're an athlete you should try to be the best IN EVERYTHING, slamming sluts included

kek

cr7 would have had her screaming so hard theyd call it rape

Reminds me of that Leonardo DiCaprio story. Some dumb broad was having sex with him and he was just laying there with headphones on listening to MGMT-kids, she was just complaining while he did not move waiting to cum.

yoooooo im gonna need a link to this lmao

ünterreted pösten

So glad I'm not famous - this could be me!
>When one plays across the whole pitch, you expect someone to return the favour.

Are you done luv, the football starts at 1 - it's research.

lmao based. No point in blowing your back out with random groupies. Leo can lay some pipe as well, he was fucking Rihanna for awhile and apparently she called him the best she's ever had. On top of that he was giving Chris Brown the cucc. He would invite him round to hang out because he was such a fan of his movies and he would just go upstairs and fuck Rihanna lol, shits brutal.

you can always tell a roastie is lying when they claim a guy did nothing in bed. it's projection. some girls do the scared rabbit or dead fish but guys biologically cannot just lie there. you always go to pound town sooner or later. it's instinct. we're not passive receptacles like these lying professional cum dumpsters.

literally /our guy/

thats pretty gay imagination you got there leaf

quit projecting

Holy fucking shit Messi is a lad. What does a cumdumpster expect, for him to go down on her gaping roast beef sandwich? She's a slut bag and of no interest to Messi beyond a slightly nicer smelling fleshlight. I'd be disgusted if he /did/ put in effort

Say 3 athletes with these state of mind

>tfw we used to have hot weather girls but now we have this
just nuke this place amerigods

fake and gay

fucking based.

theblemish.com/2016/06/apparently-leonardo-dicaprio-vapes-and-listens-to-mgmt-during-sex/


thehollywoodgossip.com/2015/01/rihanna-leonardo-dicaprio-is-the-best-ive-ever-had/

Who does this slag think she is?
Why would Messi even try to pleasure her?
He is Lionel Messi. If he wanted her to get any pleasure from sex with him, she'd be having 10 orgasms a minute.

She is nothing to Messi.
Messi's girl Antonella. Antonella's legs are like mid season games against Granada. Messi can light them up and make them tremble with no effort. Antonella's tits are El Clasico. Messi will fill them with his energy every time without fail. Her pussy is the champions league final. When Messi gets there you can be sure he will give it his all.

This tranny looking whore is nothing. She isn't a world cup quaifier against Bolivia. She is barely even a Copa America group stage game against Costa Rica. He doesn't give a shit about her. She should be thankful he lets her have a taste of the sprite remnants in his watery cum. Fucking slag overestimates her self importance.

/oneofus/ tbqh

Messi has to fug ugly degenerate roasties while Naldo gets beautiful models

>while Rapenaldo rapes average housewives
fixed that

Apparently you've never had a woman that worships your cock

>i dont know who is /ourguy/ anymore

Who is that girl

Sauce famalam

to be far nowadays if i don't feel i will be completely into the sex and i just want a quickie fix i just rub one.

cuddling is more enjoyable than sex

I will never not be impressed with those lats.

decent post

> slut your way into the bed of a world famous athlete
> being fully aware that you're doing it purely to tell the press afterwards and get rich with no work
> do the deed
> REEEEEEEE HE DIDN'T PUT ANY EFFORT INTO SEX WITH ME

What do sluts mean by this?

Why is thos thread up and the thread I made saying EPL was the most competitive league deleted?

...

10/10

>Be Antonella
>Wake up the morning after the Balloon Door ceremony to a dull, constant thumping noise
>Messi is standing in the corner next to the bed in his Sonic pajamas kicking the wall and muttering 'gotta go fast' to himself
>He pauses, looks over at you like a retarded chipmunk that saw a treat
>He grins at you and runs out of the room without saying anything
>Lay down and close your eyes and remember last night
>Your phone buzzes on the nightstand
>Text from Penaldo
>"You left your purse here last night"
>"I know, I can't wait to come back over and pick it up"
>"TSUUU baby"
>Smile genuinely for the first and only time all morning
>Messi runs back in the room with a plate of burned toast, cold scrambled eggs, and a glass of half-spilled orange juice
>Smiles and tells you "I-I made you breakfast!!"
>You're allergic to eggs
>He trips and spills the food in the bed
>Shouts "o-oh no! Bad Sonic!"
>Panics and begins to pick eggs from your hair while you hold back tears
>Cleans it up and eats the eggs he finds trapped between the bedsheets
>Tells you hes going to take a shower and sprints out of the room again
>Hear the shower water turn on
>Turn to your phone
>Google images
>"Ronaldo abs"
>Run your fingers over each image
>Hear Messi slip in the shower and he cries softly
>You cry softly

...

Thank you for that my white hermano

This bitch goes out with a fucking youtuber.

ALPHA

AS

FUCK

Oh my!!!....

A+

this. i'd just lay down and do nothing, maybe shitpost or some shit while she is doing her thing

>"o-oh no! Bad Sonic!"

pedo man

kek

Fpbp

My crazy uncle is like this. Dude is a stupid rich hedge fund manager. Always tells me stories how he picks up pay to party girls from super high end exclusive clubs, takes them back to his place, gives them cocaine let's them ride him while he's literally just chilling. Said he doesn't give as single fuck about them. Legit don't know how my dad is his brother.

...

> the eggs trapped between the bedsheets
I lost it there.

What is it about Messi that just gets the best out of Sup Forums? Truly /ourguy/, no question.

I bet he just played FIFA with her for a while then maybe touched one of her boobs before demanding that security remove her.

Topic aside, is there anything more sad than a girl that had nothing more to offer the world than rumored recounts of fucking people more famous and talented than they are?

There are vapid whores and then there are VAPID WHORES. Holy shit, it's just pathetic.

...

sounds to me like messi used her as a cum dump and peaced out

thats pretty based actually

is Messi part jap?

one of the shitty things about being famous is that any whore you slighted can just come out and say you have a small penis or you're gay or some shit

when you pay a hooker to suck out your cum after a hard day of practice you want to do as little work as possible

shocking

It goes further than that, my leaf friend. Girls that you've never even met can just lie about it.

He's just autistic enough for us to able to relate to, while also being great enough for us to idolise

A rare combination

I've never cum from being ridden, I always have to tell the girl to lay down so I can pound her clam.

Lay what? Eggs?

Ha, ha!

In all seriousness, the word you're looking for is 'lie'. "I'd just lie there", you should have said.

Best regards, bud!

>"TSUUU baby"

fuckin retard lmao

5/5

Magisterial

>Antonella's legs are like mid season games against Granada
golden

fucking perfect