Let me tell you about my weekend, Sup Forums

Let me tell you about my weekend, Sup Forums.
Also, I don't have any pics, sorry.
>be me
>18
>go to surprise birthday party for 40 year old woman who is a wounded veteran
>she's a friend of mine
>her son (also my friend) is there, back from college
>my mom's there
>surprise the woman
>nice.jpg
>the son is bragging about getting laid in college
>100%sad.jpg
>all her friends and family is there
>she has friends from the VA there
>they don't look like cripples
>asian guy vet drinks like 4 colt 45s
>thicc 7/10 30 year old woman
>the party is full of innuendos and cards against humanity etc
>literally people slapping asses of anyone
>no ass is off limits
>tickle fights
>mom goes home
>people are joking about me and the 30 year old hooking up
>delete this
continued

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_remainder_theorem
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>drink a shot of some good korean shit
>call the asian guy a pussy for coughing
>good laffs.jpg
>around 9:00 most everyone leaves
>go downstairs to play Xbox by myself because I'm bored
>30 year old comes downstairs with me
>talks to me for a while
>tries to play Halo: Reach
>fails
>gives me a kiss
>gives me a bunch of kisses
>starts making out with me
>boner.jpg
>hand on her titty
>nice
>talk a little bit about the situation with her
>a bit uncomfortable
>talk about sex
>tell her why I'm a virgin
>i.e. nobody to do it with
>tell her about my insecurities
>she tells me i'm cute
>kisses me some more
>I ask her to touch me
>touches my cock through my jeans
>this goes on for a while
>nobody actually caught us
>Sad because I didn't cum
>she goes upstairs for a while
>I try to hold my excitement
>she never comes back down
>asian guy upstairs
>drunk as fuck
>he can't go home on his own, we all agree
>tell him to crash at the house
>he refuses
>the woman offers to drive him home
>dammit
>tfw didn't cum
>It was so weird but it was so good
>she was a good kisser
>NYE party pls
>she gives me a kiss goodbye, but it's normal n such
>play video games until 5 in the morning
>no laptop
>jerk off to the GTAV strip club tittys
>unsatisfying nut.jpg
>wake up today at 11:30
>go home
continued

Go on

...

good job you blew it buddy. you got her all hot and bothered and now she'll take anyone. even a mumbling drunk fuck

I want to sleep,faggot, write faster.

>not pre-typing your greentext

>get home
>time for a job
>my sister and I are getting new phones
>Iphones
>our phones have been trashed for months, literally unusable
>I have to drive over an entire county to get there
southern pennsylvania, btw
>start driving on backroads
>listen to the same song by the grateful dead like 5 times
>uncle john's band
>sing the harmonies
>feels good man
>listen to the rolling stones
>go onto the highway
>arrive at the mall shortly
>assholes do NOT know how to fucking drive
>spend 10 minutes trying to park
>walk inside
>wander around in the mall
>go to a hot topic
>aka edgelord central
>look at clothes because band shirts
>talk to a dude comparing the roman forum and western malls
>leave without buying anything
>wander some more
>go to a game stop
>whatever
>leave
>go to the apple store
>try to talk to someone
>no one is helping me
>little kids playing fortnite and roblox on a touchpad
>reeee
>try to get help
>talk to an employee, finally
>try to confirm the pickup
>try to activate
>can't
>wtf
>see an old classmate, say hi
>go to the verizon kiosk
>can't do shit without my dad
>go home phoneless
cont

>he phones the Iphone store
>try to leave to play gran turismo
>makes me cook dinner
>ez
>he keeps calling my name after dinner with the most shrill purposeful voice cracks to annoy me
>calling the patriots a "bunch of niggers"
>sister gets upset
>wants me to watch the steelers game
>sit down and watch it for a while
>sounds good
>it's intense
>the last call of that touchdown was bullshit
>he's fucking mad as fuck
>try to leave
>yells at me
>it's all so tiresome
>finally finish the Japan GT Championship race
>dad tells me to get him cigarettes and chocolate
>refuse
>he refuses to give me the laptop
>I say "fuck it"
>go out AGAIN
>buy him cigarettes etc
>play gmod
>go on 4head.org
that's basically my weekend

she wasn't drunk at that point even
I wasn't drunk either
I had one shot a few hours ago niBBa

so, no head?

Learn from your fag mistake, shut your god dawn mouth when a chick is kissing you. Just keep kissing back.. thats it. No life story, no boring im a virgin go easy on my vagina. You a man or a soyboy? Seriously you almost got laid but ypur stupid mouth blew it for you.

Now heres a tip for your restless soul. Women dont care... they really dont. You need to stop thinking women care because 95% are sluts that will fuck with abit of drink in them. Now when you understand they dont care then and only then can you start not caring. If you learn not to care you will get laid weekly. I have shown you the door my young sexless son, walk through it and get that asian pussy.

negatory
>implying I didn't already learn from this
>implying that the conditions were perfect
>implying

>implying I wanted to get pussy that night
>IMPLYING

actually I'm being a faggot you're right

yeah... this fuCKING GUY RIGHT THERE.... HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS TALKIN' 'BOUT.....

YOU, yes, Y O U desreve a Sup Forums VIP gold!

I wouldve done the same thing in her shoes. You have some kid half your age talking about kid shit like being a virgin and school problems, would absolutely wilt my dick.

Ya fucking ruined it. She went from being horny to worried shes gonna rape her friend's baby.

I didn't mention school

>implying you wouldn't be as awkward
>implying people that post here regularly know how to handle these situations
>IMPLYING

Its implied with the whole "nobody wants to have sex with me" schtick.

I gotta be honest, I never asked for any advice. I just wanted to tell you guys about my weekend

fair enough

anons
tell me about your weekend please

honestly my weekend hasn't been any better
>got out of finals early
>nothing to do

Helped friend who took too much anthetsmine get it out of his system by drinking lots of water and vomiting everywhere and fucked up my chances of getting laid

Both separate events

that sounds like a fine weekend
What classes did you take? I took an intro to soc class, a logic class, an english composition class, and an online history class that i didn't pay enough attention to. I would've hung out with you user
that's rough buddy

not the point at all, and if you missed the point that much, there's no helping you.

I think there's a phrase I heard someone use once that seems applicable here...I think it goes:

Just grab 'em by the pussy

same user as the finals post
>had to clear out my fridge so drank all my alcohol
>took the edible i had in the freezer
>all before getting on the train home
>emailed my ex while fucked up
>parents think i've been achieving big at uni
>just been fucking around and not going to class

Smile and optimism: gone.
sorry user
don't do stupid shit m8 you got this

funny enough both of my finals were math on the same day, pre-calc(don't judge) and discreet, my asshole was stretched from discreet
everything else was a paper or project since i',m a cs major

thanks man, my grades aren't bad per say but i need to clean up my work ethic
what's up with your supportive ass

discrete math was fun in highschool
per se*
lol thanks tho
laziness is bad, man
It caused me to fuck up a lot of my classes
You can prevent forest fires niBBa

certainly not fun in college
straight facts, I can get my shit together
how's everything going for you?
>pic related: shit i just didn't understand but i'm done for the semester

interesting.
I did modular arithmetic but never that shit.

most of my friends say discreet was easy but idk this was the last unit we had before the final
maybe discreet means something else depending on the school system?

Looks like
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_remainder_theorem

to me.

yeah thats one of the solutions we were taught
god i hate math

This doesn't have a solution.
From condition 1, c=9a (mod13), which means c=9*4 (mod13) because a=4 (mod13), which means c=36=10 (mod13).
But, from condition 2, c=11b (mod13), which means c=11*9 (mod13) because b=9 (mod13), which means c=99=8 (mod13).
There is no such number c that c=10 (mod13) and also c=8 (mod13).

OOOOH, WAIT A MINUTE, THERE'S A DIFFERENT C FOR EVERY SUB-EXERCISE! IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME C EVERY TIME! WELL, IN THAT CASE, FUCK YOUR SHIT, I'M NOT SPENDING 10 MINUTES SOLVING YOUR REPETITIVE MEDIOCRE HOMEWORK!

Hay asshole! That ain't my homework since i'm done with the class

nice