Be me

>be me
>24yo femanon
>meet guy off tinder
>he's super cute
>possiblebf.jpeg
>he comes over to my place with a bottle of Tesco Everyday Value Scotch and a cheap potted plant
>"this is for you" he says handing me the plant
>"and THIS is for me!" he says holding the whisky
>he smells like he's already been drinking
>i get him a tumbler and some ice and open a bottle of wine for myself
>he drinks way too fast and does some coke but doesn't share
>suddenly we're having sex
>he loses his erection but pretends he came
>"you know what i like about you user. no airs or graces, you know what you are and what you're good for. not like those other cunts"
>mfw

>kek

I see you on here every day and I don't know if these are fake stories or what but fuck if they aren't entertaining.

Pic related it’s me

Tits or gtfo

BEGONE THOT

he's a piece of shit and you yourself have definitely some psychological issues or else you wouldn't need advice about this obvious shit on Sup Forums.
so maybe he's right.

get your shit together, god dammit.

not a gentleman at all

i would have bought you a bottle of lambrini and a pack of fags because i'm kind like that

Where's more stories and pics?

jesus, if that was you, goddamn

nobody matches with me on tinder
i just wanna get drunk and fuck a girl like all night long

fucking impossible i just look like a creep but im not one ;_;

>suddenly we're fucking
Have some self respect

I'll take, "Things that never happened", for 400.

Cringey attempt, though.

with that body you shouldn't have problems with finding someone decent. People usually tend to put themselves in a brighter light when telling such stories. How one "suddenly have sex"?
What your friends like?
Where do you work?
Did you have happy childhood?

>also tits or gtfo!

You get what you pay for femanon.
Now tits or gtfo.

Your funny if you have daddy issues to come to Nottingham we could have a laugh

hobo/10

>newfags/virgins getting baited by someone posting pictures that have been posted on the internet before

Jesus, you're too attractive to be putting up with shit like that. I strongly suggest you get off Tinder, as someone as attractive as this is going to match with everyone on there - and most guys are disgusting

Get one of your QT mates to hook you up instead

Improve your hairstyle, no fucking ponytail, no fucking meter long barbie hair, unless your face is god-tier you won't get away with it
Improve your facial hair, either get at least a decent-ish beard or just clean shave, pedostache is the cause of people looking creepy in 99% of the times
Make sure your tinder photo is taken in the daylight, preferably outside, make sure you're smiling on it, facing the camera, not wearing sunglasses or anything, try to look the best you possibly can without lying too much. Lying a bit is expected, however

dude someone posted a pic of some hot blonde.

remember where you are. the whole thread could just be pasta.
it could be a 50 year old fat fucking neckbeard just chill.

see i could be saying:

OP here. this is totally me. look.

>no timestamp
>no tits
fucking go away unless you fix that

dear god, m8. wtf. i can't even

>could

there's no "could" about it. the pic was posted here multiple times in the last week without the story. tricking children and basement dwellers is so simple that i almost feel bad enough to let them keep thinking they're talking to an actual girl.

>"Things that never happened"
What is the holocaust

...

reverese doesn't find anything though

Op here
If I post my tinder profile pic here will anons be able to trace me?
I would love a honest rating

Kek I am growing it to give to a children cancer charity, but you need to grow it to 11inch minimum takes me about 18 months 2 months to go

>reverese doesn't find anything though
That's why

Maybe that's why timestamps exist?

you're doing it wrong, newfag.

the absolute state of British women

i know
i made countless steam roll threads EVEN WITH HINTS ON THE PICTUR that it's fake just to see if people would spend their time with that shit.
they always do.
i made lots of threads with shit like that.
or the classic "share your wife" by uploading pics of randon sluts and people would contribute with pics of their actual wifes/gfs.

people are so fuckint dumb i can't believe it sometimes.

or yeah, the kik threads where you post your gfs kik and i'd check if they're loyal but all i do is just showing them their bf posted the kik of her and they break up.
god damn, m8.

the worst thing people would get is maybe your first name and that'd be after a fuckton of searching

just post it nigga

Calm down you don't need to raise your voice

no my love, don't show your face here on this filthy site.
you are beautiful and special. your soul is a rainbow and your body is a temple.

i can't go on, this gay shit is disgusting.

yeah I've got the technology to backtrace you

Like what? An iPhone? Ooooo

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

you're the one that slept with him

HAHA nigga i'm behind like 7 or 8 proxies. i even have my own server on an island, you will never find me but i'm already watching you. you're fucking dead already and all you can hope for is my mercy.
go ahead, fool. my squad team is at your window, crosshair aimed at your neck.
you're fucking dead. i'm talking to a dead person.

kid. say your prayers, boy. this is too easy for me.

>reverse doesn't find anything though
>using Sup Forums's onsite reverse image search

Please make your generation less shit by at least learning from these newfag mistakes.

fucking smiling you need me to be drunk to see me smile

>Please make your generation less shit by at least learning from these newfag mistakes.
STOP OPPRESSING ME WITH YOUR PRIVILEDGED KNOWLEDGE YOU EDGY CUNT

IM GONNA REPORT YOU TO THE MODSS

Send me Bobby vagene

I'd be impressed if you could figure out how to do that without accidentally installing Norton in the process.

I never know quite what to make of these threads..

Unless you come off as a happy and cheerful person, nobody will want your ass nibba

Seriously, people who smile and seem happy just tend to be more attractive

haha norton is a joke
i have you known i graduated top of my class from the IT department of switzerland and i have the most updated version of PC optimizer pro installed and running on my pc computer systems!

i will have your ass served on a silver plate.

well fuck you nigger you posted here anyways

so it was love at first site. congrats femanon.

you've fucked him 3 times since haven't you? or maybe you just blow him.

Bit of an overreaction..

...

"you know what i like about you user. no airs or graces, you know what you are and what you're good for. not like those other cunts"

ROLFLMAOOING so hard

what a scumbag dat guy, lmao.

that happens to you for being such a bitch

why did you let him fuck you if you knew he was so scummie since the begining?


find another guy baby, there are handsome boys that arent shit as that dude you dated. me for example i have never lost a boner, unnafortunately for you i have a GF already .

but cool story i kek'd.

alright snowflake
tell me about your feelings
let's cut ourselves together

>tinder
>suddenly we're having sex

Fucking whore. Zero value.

Lmao this fella knows

but im not happy and cheerful sorry

WOW OMG YOUR SO ALFA WHOAIAHHH

I WISH I COULD FUGG AND SEKS U

I request a pic of femanon with timestamp

i'm not whore. i just want a bf

tits or gtfo

wow still tryin it hard

im OP and i just wanna fuck
dont listen to this fuckwhore of a nazi
probably a trump voter too

Sounds about right, fuck on first date, you know what its all about, no sense pretending you bring anything else to the table but wet holes.

how did you find this picture?
this is my mother!!!!!!!

i know this because i sucked on those nipples 24/7 last wwek and i recognized her nipples

youre disgusting and if you voted for hillary have a picture.

Fuck off Shareblue phys-ops

goddamn hope she does tandem, the fluid that comes from her udders I bet its sweetest sweet.

psyop

OP confirmed hillary voter
deserved her rape
she is slut
post vagene or bewb

Can't you just stay on /r9k/, you loathsome piece of subhuman autistic trash?

not me, just waiting for some tits. thats the rules you stupid whore. TITS OR GTFO

noooo stop talking naughty about my mom
she is best sucking dick nipples

but not for you
for i

where is bobs and vergeni

im op, pic related

Sup Forums's image search sucks you megagigaultrafaggot

but i am lady not whore

i only show boob and virgina to special ops men

this is my mom getting her nipples ready for me. On another note.. The girl in this picture shes goddamn fucking sexy, I would put 20 loads in that cervix.

tits or gtf.... tetas o vete a la verga.

doesn't need to be face baby, just show bobs. Even if they're fucked up, we appreciate the rules here.

tits or gtfo

are you serios? dont laugh at bewb i show now

is bewb big is ok?

Is that yours?

If so, then you're free to go.

holy shit, it looks like you have breast cancer.. OP GO GET IT CHECKED

she has breast cancer.. this makes me sad. Im in love with my picture.

How do you know if she has breast cancer?

because at first i googled for ugly tits and then (because i'm a nurse) i remembered that breast cancer looks nasty as fuck.
so i googled for believable breasts with cancer.
that faggot said i'm free to go. oh gawd.

A solution to any personality problem is to pretend it until you you change.

The pores are indicative of swelling, usually happens when theres tumors in the breast tissue.
My favorite German escort in the picture.

Holy shit. What's her name?

Are you a nurse in the oncology department?

gb schlampe

wait, are you german by any chance? is she an escort? i' love to fuck that kinky slut.

you made your bed now lay in it.

>Tesco

Fuck off, eurotrash

You're getting better at this.

Filename in russian...you didnt even change the filename last time you posted this shit. It feels like groundhog day.

>femanon
there is no such thing as a female user. you are user or you are showing tits. get fucked newscum.

not a nurse. Id rather not give you my credit. Just enjoy my company.

why would I change it, hello there btw. I love you for noticing me.

it's getting boring
im out