What the fuck is wrong with me Sup Forums?
I've always worried about getting a qt 3.14 gf, but have known that it wouldn't happen unless the girl initiated it cuz I'm too insecure.
Well, a qt girl slipped me her number in my bag saying I should hit her up, but I am too anxious to text her. I keep making excuses why I'm too busy, I don't want it, etc.
Just take a leap, user.
I was like that too. Still am a bit anxious before hitting up a girl.
And avoid all that texting filler - chat her a bit and set a date. It gets easier after a while.
I know it's hard, but I believe in you.
bump halp me Sup Forums
how do i get her to give me the s u c c?
don't be an idiot
It's difficult though user. I've sent her a few messages, but she always responds with one or two words. Why do people even bother giving their number?
Trust your intuition. Your unconscious is a pattern recognition machine, capable of picking up many cues very quickly and processing them to produce information you didn't consciously recognize. When you get hunches and feelings like these, it's usually because you've unconsciously recognized something potentially worrisome.
>guy gets hit on by girls
>said guy ends up rejecting obviously interested girls
I don't know what to say.
All social interaction is worrisome to me though user. I intentionally avoid people on a day to day basis, but I know that it's not all necessary. I have very few friends because I tell myself that if people wanted to be around me then they would, regardless of what I do.
This is the third time this year that a girl has expressed interest, but I always find a reason to weasel out of it.
I'm worried that they'll realize that beyond my looks (which I personally think are bad too), my personality is even worse, and that will hurt my future chances with people, and I'll become more insecure.
>asking b about women
>asking b about relationships
>I'm worried that they'll realize that beyond my looks (which I personally think are bad too), my personality is even worse, and that will hurt my future chances with people, and I'll become more insecure.
Assuming what you've said is true, she must have seen something in you despite what you think.
It sucks more, because whenever I think about trying to get a girlfriend, I think that I'm probably not worth it, which is why I haven't had one before. I feel like if I had an ex, I'd know that I was at least desirable at once. But then an opportunity comes up like this, and the cycle self perpetuates.
I wish I could just jump like 2 weeks into a relationship, after all the gay introduction shit.
The only girl I've cared about is my waifu, so I'm sure there are at least a few people slightly better than me at this.
Well, first of all, she's shit. Like all women, as wonderful as they can be, they are shit. Why? Because when you put them on a pedestal and treat them like some divine artefact you'll do shit when it comes to getting the s u c c.
So, don't give a fuck. And don't overdo the attention part. Only remember she exists from time to time. Chances are that she only wants to play with you while she gives the s u c c to Chad. Don't get involved emotionally. Just trow some shit at the wall now or then. See what sticks.
BTW, start chatting a few girls at a time. Prevents you from getting attached to one and gives you a pool of options.
How I said, I know it's hard. But as you get acquainted to how it works, you'll bang more and sweat less.
Still believing in you, user.
Just do it
LOL, sounds like you ciuld fuck up a wet dream, user
Well, all I can say is it said "You should hmu (insert number here) - (insert name here). Make of it what you will.
Talking to other women is a no go user. Like I said, I don't chase t h o t s, the only chance I'll have to talk to them is when they initiate it, and when that happens I usually try to gtfo asap, so it doesn't happen frequently. Is it possible to become chad without the social interaction part?
tfw never had a wet dream
I'm a community organizer and I was doing a bit of nocturnal direct action one night with a pair of bolt cutters. Something didn't feel right, so I sat down with the bolt cutters on my lap and smoked my pipe for a while to think about it. I told myself I was just getting nerves, and that I'd done stuff like this a thousand times before.
Eventually I decided, fuck it, just do the deed, and did. And was instantly arrested. The cops had been tipped off and there was a surveillance team watching me. I realize now that my unconscious had noticed something I hadn't seen consciously: the same black van kept driving by over and over again.
I learned that day to always trust my instincts. If I get a feeling that something is wrong, I pass on it.
I think the point to take from that is to smoke less weed while doing things that require the adequate amount of caution, user.
I wasn't smoking weed, I've smoked a tobacco pipe for the last 20+ years. It helps with thinking, since it occupies the fussy part of your brain that likes to fidget.
>Is it possible to become chad without the social interaction part?
Yes, and no. It ain't science. So it depends.
You could observe the way a Chad acts and interacts with people. As I did. Tho, I'm something of a "my own man" as a Chad is "a men's man". And try the old "fake it till you make it" method. That and start an exercise in confidence.
Or you could start going out more. But even then, you'd need to mask the fact that you are a virgin, and do your homework.
>chasing t h o t s
Don't do that. Chase decent girls. Preferably some girl that relates to you and has similar likes to you.
It's difficult at the beginning, but you'll thank yourself for taking the plunge.
this is 100% right, trust him
Well, I guess I'm partially way there then, which is probably why girls come to me instead of vice versa. It just sucks that I'm not capable of taking advantage of such golden opportunities.
From what I've heard, I don't give off a lonely undesirable vibe, people say that I look stuck up and as if I think I'm better than everyone.
I'm enlisted in the Marines and ship off in a few months when I graduate (18 y/o senior), you think that'll help?
>girl that relates to you and has similar likes
That's the issue though. Even though I give off a fairly normie vibe, my interests are vidya and anime, and the only girls who share that interest are the ones who absolutely wouldn't come to me first.
My main source of insecurity is my face. I've always thought I looked deformed, so that's one of the main reasons I've just stayed quiet. I tried posting on /soc/, but it's hard to really take the ratings seriously there, because I've gotten ratings from 4's, all the ways to 8's, but the median is probably a 7 (and usually the highest in the responses from the rater), and I've gotten comments from "I want to hit you in your face" to "you're so cute omg", so obviously they're not a great indicator. Even when I get good ratings, I always chalk it up to "a good angle" "a great picture" "they are missing these flaws", or some shit like that.
The point is, do you know what a good indicator of actually being decent looking is? Do you think that an attractive girl giving you her number leaves any chance for mistake, or is it safe to not worry about my looks?
>I'm enlisted in the Marines
That ought to give you some chest hair. And hopefully that'll crack your shell too.
Best for you right now, user, is to work through your insecurities. You don't seem to be a lost cause. You just need a finishing touch and you are good to go.
Go get them, user.
Physical attractiveness means very little. I'm fat, hairy, have a gigantic beard, and indifferent hygiene, but I get constant attention from co-eds less than half my age. Why? Because I have my own unique style which makes it hard to judge me against anything but myself, and because I have supreme confidence.
I walk like I own the sidewalk, I'm an excellent conversationalist with a lot of interesting life experiences, and my personality can fill a room without being pushy. I am an active listener and take a genuine interest in others. All this means I have what people refer to as "charisma," all without being physically attractive.
user is right.
It's mostly about how you "wear" your own body.
I getcha, but it's just a personal closure thing to me. I've tried to act that way for a long time, but it's always a thought that brings me down. I'm a perfectionist, and to be honest, the thought of there being something potentially negative about me that I can't change at all kills me. I've proven to myself intellectually, I've proven to myself as far as humor goes, I've proven to myself athletically, I've proven to myself as far as commitment goes, but the only thing I've yet to proven to myself is that I'm physically attractive, and that's because I honestly have no idea how to judge that. I know that getting attention is partially appearance and partially personality, but I know my personality is unapproachable, which makes me confused about my appearance.
TL;DR: I know I won't be able to fix my confidence/insecurities/personality until I can prove to myself that I'm at least slightly above average appearance wise.
The last words of the Gautama Buddha were, "Be a lamp unto thyself." What he meant is that most people shine their light out into the world, trying to find things and place and people, but it's much more effective to turn that light inward. When you do that, you concentrate on manifesting yourself strongly, illuminating yourself so that others can find you by your light.
It's very hard to change the world; it's much simpler to change ourselves. Don't spend your effort seeking others, spend it trying to express your true nature so that those who find it appealing will know where to find you, while repelling those who wouldn't like you when they get to know you anyway.
Are you aware that people's physical looks actually change according to people's views of you? No joke. Psych studies show that if someone has a positive view of you, the mental image they keep of you gets more and more attractive. And vice versa; if you're ugly inside, the image they keep of you in their head becomes ugly too.
Be an interesting, confident, thoughtful, and attentive person and people will grow to find you physically attractive no matter how you look.
Fix your confident and the rest will follow. Ugly nog do good looking people do this to compensate
I truly and sincerely get what you guys are trying to say, and I know it's true.
That being said, I can not do it in that order. No matter how much people say that I have to have confidence first, it will not happen until I figure out if, aesthetically speaking, I'm attractive. It just won't. There's no use in saying be confident. I won't be until then.
I do appreciate the message though.
You must understand that appearance is very subjective. I do arts studies right now, and a thing I learned is that irregular faces are rather more interesting or even more pleasant then a average-good-looking one.
It's all about who's looking.
>can't dial phone
>30 min long explanation why
That girl is lucky thank God for darwinism
"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." - Richard Bach
Close browser, drink two pints, invite girl on a date, improvise.
I don't know if my face is irregular to average-good-looking though, and that's the issue.
Fuck it, this is the answer I'm going with. If she can handle my anti-semetic drunk ramblings, she'll deal with me regardless.
I appreciate everyone chiming in.
There are extenuating circumstances, user. I was a middleschool dropout and had no social interaction until a few years ago. I'm still trying to wrap my head around things.
Take good care of yourself, user!
I believe in you!