That first bite of a bananna from the fridge and it hurts the fuck out of your teeth

>That first bite of a bananna from the fridge and it hurts the fuck out of your teeth
>Scratching the fuck out of your eye trying, and failing, to get an eye lash out
>Walking to the computer so early you are the only one up on a winter morning but stubbing your toe, causeing noise thus ruining the moment, and the cold makes your your foot hurt so bad you want to kill yourself

>running up stairs
>slam toe right into the wall of the last step

>biting a chip the wrong way so bad it feels/is embedded into your gums and hurts like a bitch

And you NEVER get it out
>having the power go out in the middle of a shower, trying not to slip and die

>jerk off too many times in one day
>dick has rash
>have raging erection and can't do anything about it

>staring at a wall of games, remember each in extreme detail, go back to doing nothing
>hitting something with a hammer, vibration travels through your motherfucking hand

>Get erection with a rub rash, bleeding by the end of the day cause of it rubbing the inside of my pants

>eating popcorn and the popped shells get stuck under your gums
>having an ingrown toenail on your pinky toe rub against your shoe/boot
>eat spicy and oily food shortly before going to sleep, only to wake up by inhaling some of your stinging spit up

>banana in fridge
Wait. You put your nanners in the fridge? Am I missing out on something? I put em on a hook on my countertop.

same
who the fuck puts them in a fridge?

DONT DO IT, your teeth will thank you
>rubbing hand across clothing, hangnil is yanked off by strand leaving you with a bleeding, inflamed finger

>sleep with mouth open and wake up with a terrible taste and a sore throat
>hitting your elbow on the desk and accidentally hitting your funny bone

>sitting on the ground for too long, making your balls and legs numb
>needing to get up while legs are numb
>needing to piss while nuts are numb

>really needing to shit, prolly diarriah, get to the toilet and you are so constipated that when it comesout it feels as though 20 noggers but raped you at the same time
>getting a sentence formed in you head but it comes out differant, makes you seem retarded

>having the need to scratch your balls, but you're standing in front of people and cant get away

Never before had i heard of anyone actually getting numbnuts before

Congrats on changing that for me

>think of a sentence in your head but when you say it, its all mashed together

its a ghostly feeling

>putting bananas in the fridge
>WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>so fucking paranoid that I will walk into a place with my fly down I will like feel at my fly/dick 5 times entering and exiting a building/room
>sitting on your balls so hard you get a stomach ache and your eyes water
>getting mad when females cant understand how a man can sit on his balls

>Speak someones native language
>They ignore it and continue to speak in broken English
Or
>Speak someones native language
>"I do not want to speak my native tongue with you"
>Mfw

where?

>>so fucking paranoid that I will walk into a place with my fly down I will like feel at my fly/dick 5 times entering and exiting a building/room

>banana
>fridge

What

civilized human beings niglet

Some see their native language as a secret code between their own people
>having a cut on your hand, accidently getting-
>rubbing alcohol
>paint thinner
>salt
>onion juice
>lemon juice
>-in it

>do not want to speak my native tongue with you"

Oof

That shit made me sweat behind the knees. Sounds like it should be personal but it's probably on them for why they said that.

Literally will grab or feel at my dick when I think no one is watching, the second worry is if anyone sees me grab at myself...

no, no they dont
only retards that dont have a fruit basket for decoration or a banana hanger in thier pantry do this, meaning youre too fucking poor to properly store your food, you fucking stinky nigger bitch faggot whore fuck

Are you a native English speaker?
maybe the person only wants to practice her English

I work at a subway near an airport. a lot of Chinese, Spanish ,and Russians come by. though i only know basic spanish and some mandarin

yes im native and no they don't wanna practice, fuckers will come in speaking pure Spanish and not know a lick of English and ignore my questions.

Probs cause black

>trying to watch a movie on a low volume in the middle of the night and as soon as you turn it on the volume is cranked to like 100 waking everyone up
>trying hard not to accidently touch people but still it happens and you are arroused by it

lol
even in foreign countries, they know better

ppl who want black rotten bananas. OP is a fucking.barbarian.

>eating ice cream after shattering a tooth.

New freezer

Nigger what? What am i gonna do, cuck them in spanish?

It's like what the fuck do you want on your sandwich faggot? At least point at it.

Its ok, you are in the service industry so people try to make it their job to treat you like shit for doing your job
Holy shit this is death in it physical form
>trying to do something cool on a scooter as a kid, fall, look stupid, shred the skin off your knee like wrapping paper, fire isnt seen but felt

>be chinese
>watch filthy americans destroy thier own towns
>thanks mao
>get letter from filthy american company
>need to have business meeting about putting led in thier energy bars
>fly on plain with filthy americans
>fat stinky american woman with cow tits gives me peanuts
>keeps standing next to me
>i forgot americans are greedy and need tip to live
>tip her 2 dollar, half my monthly income
>get to airport
>only food place is filthy sandwich shop
>get to counter
>not expecting counter to be manned by gorilla
>begins to talk in broken mandarin
>hold back urge to vomit
>ask him to stop practice english
>DAYUM DEM YELLOW FOLK RAYCIST UH MUH DICK
>back away slowly while shitskin chimps out
>mfw go on Sup Forums and see this

plane*
lead*
to practice*

>Be you
>Have no reading comprehension
>Don't notice that i said near not at
Also
>Chinese people ever wanting to learn english
Good one

also tipping meme i almost missed that

>you keep bananas in the fridge

doesnt matter
they have good reasons not to talk to a dindu in native tongue, its an insult to their ancestors

>be user
>get trigger
>shit grows in the bottomof stomach
>it hurts like an all you can eat arbys buffet
>click on rely
>turn ass to screen
>chair creaks under wiegh of 400lbs
>explode all over screen
>keyboard
>mouse
>the smell is enough to kill the bugs around my rotten food
>almost pass out but fight it
>post it and wake up 3 hours later
>down a mountain dew or 7
>thread 404

>Have to shit in public place.
>Bathroom is basically full.
>Have to flex butthole so when i shit it doesn't sound like a train whistle.

>end up farting loudly
>basically grunting like an animal
>accidently hitting walls
>get out to wash hands
>feels like everyone is watching you

Has never happened to me, i've trained my asshole to be completely silent under even the worst asspains.

I could assassinate someone with just my buttcheeks alone.

>check on every single ass from family members girls on every event (bday, xmas, etc)


Also
>Being in other house bathroom
>Check if there is panties and smell it

Or

>Being in other house alone for 5 minutes
>Run to girls bedroom to check panties

>Have to stay in other house for the weekend and check that the niggers don't get in
>Fap in girls bed with their clothes

>bananas in fridge?

the fuck is wrong with you?

Holy fuck dude, Ill do the first but not the other. Anyone else have to fight an errection when a lil relative sits in your lap?