Luke, did i ever tell you about my friend Dex? He owned a 1950's themed diner on Coruscant and he was a good friend

Luke, did i ever tell you about my friend Dex? He owned a 1950's themed diner on Coruscant and he was a good friend.

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starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tipples
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starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chemist
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Lucas, did I ever tell you about the white slavers?

>luke did i ever tell you that your nephew will become a vader clone?

There was a longer one of these that was 10x better than your piece of shit

>Luke did I ever mention you can use the Force to clean and dry your clothes? It saves me a fortune on Depends.

>"Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend."

>Luke did I ever tell you about how your father murdered a dozen or so children, mowed them down with this very lightsaber, and then I chopped off his legs and left him to a slow and excruciating death being burned alive, but then the emperor came and turned him into a robot man who lives in constant, unending agony?
>It was a more civilized time.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Chewbecca?
Before becoming Han Solo's right hand, he was a good friend of my teacher and master of the Jedi order, Yoda. The two even fought together during the last days of the Clone Wars, back on the Wookie home planet.
>What's weird is that he doesn't seem to remember any of that, and instead of correcting Han when he calls Jedis and the Force a superstition, he joins him laughing at them.
>He's not a very good friend.

Spock, did I ever explain to you in great detail the adventures of Captain Jonathan Archer and his battle against the Xindi to save earth?

What's the new character's name? Was Turbo Skywalker?

Spock, what are you always looking at in that blue-flashing viewer shaft on your panel? Your career as a serious actor receding in the distance?

We get it, the man was insane. Isn't that the whole point of Ben's character?

Also, how can we be 100% sure he's in fact Obi Wan anyway? The whole part where he allegedly lives in Tatooine is never covered in canon fiction, he might as well have been killed by this old man who was crazy and calls himself Ben Kenobi. Maybe the real Obi Wan died from some Tatooine disease.

Of all the dumb things I've heard in Star Wars threads, this is definitely in the top 25.

You are a retard.

>calls himself Ben Kenobi for no reason
>only reacts to the Obi-Wan name after someone clearly states that must be his name

What more proof do you need? This man is not Obi-Wan Kenobi, he's just some crazy hobo living on Tatooine who once heard the name Kenobi.

Stupid point.
But anyways if he did die from some Tatooine disease my guess would be it was an STD.
Who can blame him though? Just look at the perfect blowjob-lips on Sy Snootle. Deepthroating her would be a real accomplishment.

>Hiding incognito from the most powerful force in the Galaxy
>Doesn't bother to change his last name
>Lives 5km down the road from Darth Vader's house

Luke my nigga, I ever tell you about that time your dad built C3P0. Or that time C3P0 and R2D2 fought alongside me for the entirety of the clone wars?

They were good friends before I had their memories wiped when you were born.

>We get it, the man was insane.

No, you don't get it.

The point of goodfriend posting is not about Ben, it's just a way to present all the illogical decisions and flaws George Lucas made in the prequels and the whole canon SW saga in general.

Luke, did I ever tell you about my ally the United States? He sat back as 3 million frenchmen were horrifically slaughtered, joined in at the last 6 months of the war, and claimed to be our savior despite only losing 90,000 men

He was a terrible friend

Han, did I ever tell you that I fought alongside the Jedi? Yeah they're totally real and so is the force, I can't believe I never mentioned this before

we need another ww1 movie

Luke, did I ever tell you that you have a twin sister whom I sent to live a life of luxury as a princess, meanwhile I left you to live in poverty on a desert planet where you will never be able to fulfill your hopes and dreams.

I am a good friend Luke

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the sand people who tried to kill you also raped your grandmother to death? Your father slaughtered them like animals in cold blood.

Luke did I ever tell you that
>49 times, we fought that beast

Ben, did I ever tell you about Force Jump? It turns you into superman. I used it in a duel with Darth Vader. Also known as my father, although you lied to me and never told me he was my dad. Force Jump was a good friend.

>darth icky

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Force Speed? My old master Qui-Gon and I used it to escape from two easily defeatable droids, but I couldn't use it to save my master from dying? I was not a good padawan.

>Darth insanius

Lucas confirmed Han can't understand Chewbacca and only pretends to know what he's saying

>Luke did i ever tell you about the Droideka? It was as powerful as a Jedi but the Trade Federation didn't mass produce them or utilise them in any practical way.

>Luke did I ever tell you the time your father slaughtered a bunch of children with a fucking lightsaber?
They were good friends

Luke, did I ever tell you about the Philippine–American War?

America was a cunning friend.

i like how of all the people in the galaxy, it's some random guy named dexter jettster who owned a 50s themed diner in space that somehow knew that the poison dart came from kamino, which was also where the clone army was secretly being built

>Ben, did I even tell you about Force Kick? I used it on one of Jabba Desilijic Ture's guards when I was trying to escape his capture and not get thrown into the Great Pit of Carkoon. And Boba Fett flew uncontrollably in the background like he was on a wire. It really came in handy, and a good friend.

Why don't all droids have a shield they can shoot through around them?

Shield generators make them a sitting duck

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano, your father's apprentice during the Clone Wars? She was a hot piece of ass. And a good friend.

Are you calling us dumb?

>Luke did i Ever tell you about how I was a 30 year old Padawan even though Jedi's are trained from childhood? Kwai gon was a bad teacher.

>kamino
am kino

what did planet kimono mean by this?

four digits
number four
the only word in post that has 4 letters?
kino

>looked it up
>Obi-Wan was 25 years old when Qui-Gon died

at what point do padawans finally move on?

>what
>mean
>this

those are particles, not words

Death of the author, his opinion means Jack shit.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Count Dooku? Your father cut off his hands and then brutally decapitated him when he was no longer a threat to anybody. Your father committed a serious war crime, but I didn't see any problem with it. I wasn't a good guardian of peace and justice in the Republic.

grammar.about.com/od/pq/g/particleterm.htm

>"A particle is a word...."

4 words have 4 letters.

It's time.

>starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random

Darth HONKA HONKA

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tipples

>starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Outer_Rim_Concourse

WHO WRITES THIS SHIT

>starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random
i got a short one for some outpost 42 and didnt even realize your link was random at first.

Awful. Just awful.

If you're going to make one of these threads, you should either
a) Provide the established copypasta, or
b) Take the time and effort to make something new, original, and better than the pasta already out there.

You did neither. There's already copypasta on Dexter Jettster, and you didn't post it. Not only that, but you got the name wrong, typed up one shitty line from it, and didn't even use the right picture of Ben.

Please kill yourself

That isn't death of the author you faggot

>Also, how can we be 100% sure he's in fact Obi Wan anyway?
Vader recognizes his presence on the Death Star. Goddamn, you are stupid.

ORANGE

>Luke
>Luuke
>Luuuke

Luke, did I ever tell you about Bidlo Kwerve? He was a Corellian pirate and smuggler who served Jabba Desilijic Tiure. A tall, grizzled man with scarred features and a mane of black hair, he was known for his greediness and hot temper, and was quick to respond to any perceived insults. Kwerve and a Twi'lek named Bib Fortuna competed to become Jabba's new majordomo after the Hutt deemed his previous retainer, Naroon Cuthus, too old and incapable of carrying out his duties. Kwerve and Fortuna hated each other with a passion and went to great lengths to prove themselves in Jabba's eyes, though Jabba considered each as incompetent as the other. Kwerve disliked Jabba's top pilot, Han Solo, and the two often clashed, both in words and with blasters. Around 2 BBY, he considered leaving Jabba's employ because of the continual menial tasks that were being asked of him, and though Fortuna encouraged him to quit, he never did. Shortly before the Battle of Yavin, Kwerve discovered a crashed ship in the Tatooinian desert, with a live rancor inside it. Hoping to present the beast to Jabba for his birthday, he begrudgingly sought the aid of Fortuna to help him transport it to Jabba's Palace. Jabba was impressed with the initiative shown by his two top lieutenants and offered to make one of them his new majordomo; the other would be given the "greater honor," though Jabba did not specify what this was. Ever greedy, Kwerve accepted the "greater honor"—he became the rancor's first victim and was devoured in a pit below Jabba's court.

Anyway, I only bring this up because in about four years you're going to pick up his skull and throw it at a panel to drop a massive door down on that very same rancor. He'll get his revenge on the rancor, from a certain point of view.

By the way, this is canon again.

BUTTCHEEKS

Deepest lore

I thought the Great Rat Purge was meant to get rid of this pointless shit

Luke, did I ever tell you about chemists? A chemist was a student of chemistry. Chemists study the properties of chemical substances and compounds. When Captain-Supervisor Grammel demanded to know the properties of a shard of the Kaiburr crystal, Luke Skywalker protested that he was not a chemist.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chemist

Luke did i ever tell you about the Percussion pistol? A percussion pistol was a single-shot, muzzle-loading sidearm that fired explosive projectiles. Exocron Airfleet officers were issued them as their standard sidearm. The weapons were considered to be archaic by 8 ABY.

Luke, did I ever tell you about CC-1004? He was a clone trooper commander in the Grand Army of the Republic. As a token of his independence, 1004 was rewarded with a name and chose to be known as "Gree," a reference to an obscure alien species. In the last days of the war, Gree accompanied Jedi Grand Master Yoda to Kashyyyk in response to a Separatist attack. After breaking through the enemy lines surrounding the planet, he helped fight back against the droid forces of the Separatists. In the middle of the battle, Gree received a message from Supreme Chancellor Palpatine declaring the execution of Order 66, the extermination of the Jedi. Gree was killed by Yoda while attempting to fulfill the order. He was a bad friend.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/CC-1004/Legends

>Star Wars EU

not canon anymore

Cost I believe, and they're not effective against explosions or slugthrowers.

>ben did I ever tell you about boba fett. He was the clone of the last mandalore who had spent his entire life killing to survive but I beat him by slicing his blaster then han stabbed his jet pack and it conveniently malfunctioned and flew him into the pit of carkoon. Han was a good friende