ITT: School greentext

ITT: School greentext.
>be me
>8th grade
>sitting in class bored as fuck
>friend motions to me
>mouths “I gotta shit so damn bad dude”
>he raises hand
>”what could possibly be more important than my review”
>”may I go to the restroom”
>”No you can hold it”
>turns to resume review
>”I can’t though”
>teacher snaps
>”DONT YOU DARE TALK BACK. ONE MORE THING AND YOURE HEADING TO THE FRONT.”
>resumes review
>friend says ”You have put this on yourself.”
>begins to strain
>strains really fucking hard
>vein bulging on his forehead
>BEGINS TO SHIT
>LIQUID SHIT RUNS DOWN HIS LEG
>it slowly oozes onto shoes
>everyone runs out of room, gagging and wheezing for fresh air
>friend gets suspended and forced to scrub liquid shit

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instagram.com/adi_edri9/
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Was hoping this was ending in mass shooting

>senior year
>will basically do anything to make a quick buck so I can avoid getting a job until after graduation
>fairly decent looking guy, solid 7/10
>hang out with a big group of girls and a not-quite-openly gay guy
>become friendly with NQOG guy
>NQOG guy starts having lunch with me and a few of the girls every day
>pulls me aside one day after eating
>"Hey user, can I ask you a really weird question?"
Uh, sure, what's up?
>"Well, I got paid today, and I'll give you $50 if you do me a favor..."
$_$
>had not yet been to 4chainz to discover all the fucked up fetishes people can have
>agree to let him sniff my feet for $50
>agree to meet up in the basement of the city library the next day at lunch
>did not ask questions when I was offered an additional $15 to get really sweaty in gym and then wear those socks to the meeting
cont.

instagram.com/adi_edri9/

CONT CONT CONT CONTT

>next day, lunch
>grab a sandwich and make my way to city library
>sit around on a poorly-painted bench in a dark, musty basement for about 15 minutes with my grody wet gym socks on
>NQOG shows up
>"Uh h-hey user, you're here"
"Yep"
>pause
>"well, can we um... can we just start?"
"Yeah, sure thing man."
>NQOG lays down on the floor and pulls off my shoes
>starts whiffing
>low-ass senioritis attention span
>pull out my DS to play some Pokemon Ranger
>feels kinda nice to have NQOG blowing cool air on my feet after sitting there so long
>get my anus prolapsed by the Salamence boss battle in PR
>turn off DS to see how NQOG is doing
>NQOG is suddenly pitching a tent that would put Barnum and Bailey to shame
>mfw I became a foot prostitute

Bump

What else you got OP?

checked

As far as high school, this guy in particular, or any other fucked up stories I have from being too autistic to recognize fetishes?

Anything

Al right, I'll share some oc
>2007
>working in groups, we have to study about the acids, bases and ph scale of several liquids
>our liquid subjects of study were random, but each one of us had to do atleast one and compare with team members
>one of them was semen
>be me
>pulling out the paper from the box with the random liquid from the pool
>only 3 remaining liquids, one of them was babyseed
>touch one of these papers
>#1 "fuck no, this gives me the creeps"
>#2 "fuck this is worst, I'll grab the first one"
>unfoldingpaper.webm
it was milk
>now's best friend time to pick

Cont'd?

comon fag

>be me
>drama class
>doing alright in the course
>slowly get worse in the course by grade 11
>doing monologues
>have to do Shakespeare monologues
>practice for 3 weeks
>still insecure
>present
>forget literally everything
>my monologue was a little over a minute since I forgot most of it
>teacher used my show as an example to class on what not to do
>leave class after
>try and readjust myself in the bathroom
>cry
>finally move on
>don't move on
>still feel fucked up about it knowing I could barely go over the one minute mark without fucking up
>feel fucked up knowing I'm an awkward screw up who just fucked up in front of several cute girls
>feel fucked up knowing that im that weird guy who tried presenting his polonius monologue and cried in the bathroom cause he knew that he was and always will be a fuck up

fuck that shit, I had it pre-typed

well, long story short...

>Semen
>bimbo girl after him had the last liquid remaining: plain water
>kek
>teacher says "alright guys, you have to bring atleast 1/4 lt of the liquid you picked for our next class, which is in 2 days"
>best friend was destroyed
>everyone made fun of him during the remainig of that day
>went home without even speaking after that event

I clearly remember that I thought "I hope he doesn't kill himself tonight"

>Next day, buddy didn't come to school.
>went to his house at the evening, no one answered the door.
>had no phone
>"Fuck, he may have killed himself"

and so, the fated day came
>first 3 clases went by, buddy never appeared
>lunch had a small carton of milk
>"goddamn universe is laughing at my dead pal"
>15 mins before chemistry class started, buddy appeared
>pale white, shaking and sweating
>he passed out in classroom before class started

Turns out, he fapped all day to get that 1/4 litre
Turns out, he had retrograde ejaculation
turns out, that motherfucking teacher has depression
>teacher never came to school again

Okay, I have one from my sophomore year of college

>just went through really rough break up
>had said "hey babe, wanna try a threesome?"
>she heard "hey babe, I would totally be cool with it if you fucked half the people in this town"
>broke up with her cheating ass, never got my threesome
>decide to try using FetLife
>still not familiar with just how odd people's fetishes can be
>meet a few cool dudes with experience and some girls who would be interested in MMF/FFM
>Fetbro sets me up with a girl who was just getting into kink stuff like me
>says she's into light bondage, she's a sub, likes rope
>says she's a DL
>huh, must mean "dominant little"
>she comes over one day, we fuck raw
>use a ball gag, some handcuffs, vanilla shit
>finish inside her
>she just lies next to me with my load in her while I play Fable II
>about twenty minutes pass
>"hey user, I'm gonna put something on so I don't leak all over your bed"
K lol
>get back to playing while she digs around in her bag
>after a few minutes, hear some crinkling
cont.

please user

>be me
>freshman year of high school
>take advanced US history
>teacher is a real bitch, I mean a real piece of work
>I sit near the back corner of the room with a couple of pals, shoot the shit most of the time
>gives us shit for the entire first semester even though we're all passing
>just a real bitch for no reason, we become her scapegoats for anything
>had enough
>I find out later that she can't stand things that have lots of holes or cells close together, sorta like trypophobia nowadays
>we're allowed to eat in class, just as long as we're not eating an entire lunch
>come up her desk for a question eating a pomegranate with a spoon
"user! WHAT IS THAT?"
"It's just a pomegranate, what's wrong"
>starts retching
>vomits on the floor
>tries to bring this to the principal
>he obviously doesn't care, she keeps screaming at him to do something
>does nothing
>all my friends come in the next day with pomegranates
>vomits again
>principal still does not give a shit
>for the rest of the year we all have a pomegranate at the ready so that we can crack it open when she starts getting bitchy

>curious about the crinkling, pause my game and turn around
>she's wearing a diaper
>this was around the same time that Depend was doing that "incontinence acceptance walk" schlock
>muh college liberal acceptance mindset kicks in
Oh man, that's gotta be so rough on her. I can't imagine not being able to hold it in at this age, poor girl!
>"You don't mind, do you?"
Of course not, it's just who you are
>she smiles and gets back to cuddling me
>I pull the blankets over us and have her put on a t-shirt so my roomie doesn't find out if he comes back in
>unpause and return to playing the exact same song on a lute in the middle of town square for an hour or so
>eventually, girl starts stirring
>"Hey user, I kinda gotta go to the bathroom..."
>weird, I thought incontinent folks didn't know when it was gonna happen
>w/e
Oh, okay
>go to sit up so she can leave
>she doesn't move
>figure she just wanted to hold it in or something
>mfw she pissed herself in my bed
>mfw she leaked
>mfw neither of us realized it until the smell wafted up from under the blankets

what does DL mean then?

I looked it up a few days thereafter, it means diaper lover.

Naturally, this was around the same time that I cut ties with the FetLife people

>be me
>sixth grade, first year taking french
>me and best friend (let's call him adhd) get in the same class
>always did stupid shit & pranks
>friday
>last class
>90 mins of french
>hafway done
>thinking about what to do to make it less boring
>friend decides to for whatever reason hide below the teacher's desk
>teacher gone for a short break, she's a small ~1.6m woman filled up to the top with rage
>she comes back, pretty much whole class giggling like the 12yrs old we were
>doesn't notice
>after 40 mins ask: "hey user where is adhd?"
>screams his name at the top of her lungs
>friend gets up from below the desk
>awkward silence for 2 seconds
>he simply goes back to his seat
>teacher visibily confused since she sat down and didn't realise
he didn't even get punished in the end lol

where do you live? That would have been 1.8 mil lawsuit in USA

>be me
>9th grade
>whole class full of brats, me included
>friday, last lesson of the day
>its physics
>fuck no
>get bored
>remember i have an mp3 of a chirping eagle on my phone for a presentation
>open window
>play bird chirp at 50% volume
>class laughs, teacher doesn't react
>play at 70%
>no reaction
>fuck it, full volume
>teacher closes windows, nothing else
>well that was boring
>friend goes "yo i have a track you should play i'll send it to you via bluetooth"
>whynot.jpg
>don't know the name, fuck it he said it's gonna be fun
>forgot volume was still at 100%
>loudest hardcore metal i had ever heard starts playing
>ears bleed
>quickly turn it off
>teacher can't tell it was me
>locks his arms, looks at the ceiling and starts screaming
>"THE MUSIC DOES NOT COME FROM OUTSIDE, THE MUSIC COMES FROM INSIDE! AND IF IT WON'T STOP I'LL COLLECT EVER MOBILE IN THIS ROOM"
>ohshit.avi
>backup plan
>play a very high pitched sound
>he can't hear it
>we can
>girls start complaining
>thinks they're making shit up
>makes 2 of them leave the room coz he thougt they were making shit up
>10/10 best class
>he later choked a guy from the class below me and got suspended
>10/10 best teacher

>sophomore year in HS
>in class, we have a sub for the day
>everyone's just talking
>bantering with the guy who sits next to me
>tell him to suck my dick
>he says "what dick?"
>quickly turn and pull my dick out towards him
>EVERYONE sees it, substitute pretends not to
>people across the campus hear about it, still spoke of it until I graduated
>the guy I was talking to gets expelled for making a bomb threat later that year

"oh shit it's user, the dude with the microdick, hahahaha"

>~7th grade i think
>had to wait for teachers outside of the classroom coz they were locked
>develop this extremely difficult game
>basically playing soccer with a small piece of trash, if you get nutmegged everyone can punch you until you reach a specific point
>fat kid wants to play
>it's only 3 stronger, taller dudes playing
>basically fucking suicide
>everything goes well for a few minutes
>lets say the 3 dudes and fat kid were not the best friends
>fat kid gets nutmegged
>uh oh
>runforestrun.jpeg
>ofc he's not gonna make it in time, he's fat after all
>see him get fucked up
>see one guy going for a strong fucking punch
>he screams "KIDNEY PUNCH" at the top of his lungs
>smacks fat kid right into his right kidney (probably)
>fat kid says hes done playing that game, goes away
>leans against wall, everyone minding their own business
>suddenly hear a loud "thomp" sound
>turn around, fat kid lying on the floor
>thinking to myself "that fat fuck's such a pussy lol"
>jump onto his back
>yell "PARTY LOL"
>jump a few times, realise no one thinks its funny
>get off him, he doesn't move
>girl runs off to get a teacher
>fat kid starts moving again
>whalecry.mp3
>teacher comes, sees fat kid lying on the ground crying
>"i'll get him to the school nurse, his best friend come with me"
>no one moves
>"or just any friend"
>no one moves
>"user you got with me then"
>whyme.gif
>questions me about why fat fuck was lying on the floor crying
>"uh he just leaned against the wall and then fell"
>he knows im lying
>i know he knows im lying
>i ain't no snitch tho so i'm not talking
>feel like im in guantanamo bay
>not talking tho
>no one every told the teachers who hit the finally punch
>kid changes school within the next week
mfw

>be me
>level 15 britbong, year 11 which is the last year of secondary school
>I'm in the lowest group for French despite being better at it than all my friends. Pretty sure they just ran out of room in the middle set and placed random people in the lower set to balance the numbers
>Because it is the lowest set for French in the entire year, I'm with all the dumb asses and fuck-ups
>One day when the fuck-ups are causing havoc, which was a frequent occurrence, the teacher needed to get help from an additional teacher
>This requires him to exit the room for a few minutes to go to the teachers office and grab another teacher
>Time for hjinx
>4 seconds after teacher leaves the room, the door is immediately barricaded from opening since it opens inwards to the room
>Dean gets the smart idea to draw a picture of the teacher on the whiteboard.
>He tries all the board markers on the teachers desk but they're all dry/worn out.
>He asks to borrow a marker pen from one of the dumb kids
>Proceeds to draw a pretty good caricature of the teacher
>Adorns this illustration with Nazi paraphernalia and Hitler 'tasche
>Loud thud at the door... I guess the teacher has found that the door has been barricaded in his absence
>Dean panics
>With panic quickly turning to fear, he immediately tries to rub his artwork off the whiteboard
>That ink ain't going nowhere
>He had used a permanent marker pen instead of those special whiteboard "dry markers"
>Noises at the door are getting louder. They are trying to force their way in
>Dean realises he isn't gonna get the artwork off the board and scampers back to his chair. Everyone else sits down in their own place
>Door gets kicked in after a minute or two...the chair that was holding the door gets catapulted across the room
>3 Teachers storm in and are greeted by a 4 foot caricature of the French teacher. He is not pleased but the other teachers he had gotten to come in with him smirked
>we all shook silently with laughter

Got a couple stories, if thread doesn't die before then. Common one first.

>be me
>baby britbong, 7 years of age
>dinner time
>woo, pizza day
>all classes stopped before going in to dinner hall
"someone has made a mess, and nobody gets pizza until we know who"
>proceed to be marched one by one into the toilet to try and find the culprit
>turns out it's the poor as fuck retard
>my_surprise.avi
>get extra pizza for being polite
>shit was weird, but cash

I got the highest score in French in that entire class.... and i got an E

That class removed any and all impetus i had to learn a foreign language, lol. Fuck u Frenchies - if i'm in passing through your shit country, u had better speak English if u know what's good for u.

Being in the lowest class for some thing in school was one of the most fun things in school for me. I'm a fairly lazy person so I middle of the roaded everything during school (was in the middle set for basically everything)...but to kick back and watch the chaos that the fuck-ups would cause day after day was just so entertaining.

Next, the highschool toilets
>be me
>older britbong, 14 years of age
>hardened by shit viewing, toilets no longer phase me no matter the state
>applicable in highschool where apparently people just arent taught how to use a bathroom
>but like i said, i'm hardened and it's fine
>need to piss
>go to the cleanest toilet of the day, the most recently cleaned one
>hear noises as i go in, don't think about it, probably some retard shitting with his pants off
>some silence as i get ready to pee
>shuffling about in stall
>dont think about it, just going here to pee, not to get peed on
>wet noises
>wat
>moans
>oh no
>it's a highschool stall blowjob
>piss in some tissue and throw it over the stall walls, call them skanks, skets, faggots and more then leave the toilet, walk calmly back to class as the boy runs past me looking for whoever would do such a thing
>me 1, normies 0

story of the potential shooter
>be me
>15 now, all grown up /s
>at the age where normies are being fags and having weird dick measuring contests constantly
>opportunity arises when the village my highschool is in has an armed robbery take place
>robber has run into the fields near school, gone missing
>school on lockdown, SWAT arrives, kids only allowed to leave with parents
>and so the chads prepare
>they all individually go to the toilet
>i go too, interested in why they were going, teacher too sppoked to notice
>theyre chatting about running for it
>>running
>>faster than a bullet
>>ok
>turn around and sit down, figure one of them will die and i'll get time of school
>but it was better than that
>they got caught, of course
>by SWAT
>SWAT detained them for reckless behaviour and suspicious activity (they were sneaking, SWAT thought they were assisting the thief)
>one of them had some weed on him
>gostraighttogulag.png
>rest come back thoroughly shaken a couple weeks later, having been suspended from school
>no longer chads
>Me: 1 Normies: -1

>be me
>be freshman
>after columbine
>school next to ours gets shooter threat
>school on high alert
>have 2 police cars outside school
>dogs brought in to search the place
>find tobacco cigars in a girl's locker
>girl was a 4/10, tall, dark hair, we called her "The Beast"
>had some mental issues, suicidal, depressed, your average goth package
>girl brought into office for questioning
>girl freaks the fuck out
>cops try to subdue her
>she freaks out more
>bites one of the officers
>two more teachers come in and tame The Beast
>cops end up tasing her
>she gets assault, possession, and whatnot
>her liberal mom goes to court and she gets off by having to go to rehab for 5 months
more if you guys want

bored as fuck so bump

What is pitching a tent? Did he actually pitch a tent?

>doesnt know what pitching a tent means

to get an erection under clothes.

OH, thanks.

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