Albus Severus Potter... you were named for two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin...

>Albus Severus Potter... you were named for two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin, and he was probably the bravest man I've ever known.

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>Albus Severus Riddle Umbridge Fudge Malfoy Crabbe Goyle Quirrell Lockhart Diggory Potter, you were named after all the people who have made my teenage years a living hell, here's an old blanket I peed on, go choke yourself with it.

What did he mean by this?

But was he a good friend?

>the bravest man I've ever known

I call bullshit. Being "actually not as bad as everyone thought" does not equate to "the bravest man ever."

why didn't they pick someone attractive to play Ginny?

They had no idea she was going to be written as Harry's wife.

he was not a good man, but certainly a brave man.
He could have gone back to raping muggle bitches but he chose the hard life.

This. Snape didn't even do that much. His spying didn't bring any help that we know about. Anyone else could have told Harry about being a Horcrux, delivering the sword of Gryffindor etc. Snape is an overrated cuck.

What he did carried extreme risk and he knew that

>Since my first year of school I knew Snape was protecting me from Voldemort
>since my fifth year in school I knew my dad was a jerk who bullied him
>Dumbledore trusted him and told me to trust him
>I hated him up until his death and never trusted him anyway
He was a good friend.

Harry had good reasons not to trust Snape. And Dumbledore isn't infallible.

He also had good reasons to trust him but did he? No. Why? Because he's le ebil strict teacher who doesn't kiss my ass for being The Chosen One.

Presumably his spying was more significant back during when the dark lord was actually in power

It's not like he was doing a lot of major hits even after his return. He had some petty muggle terrorizing but that's about it

>think maybe he'll find a clever way to save that woman who was begging for her life

>lol nope, he just watches her die because he HAD to stay undercover m8

>implying snape gave a fuck about her

Obviously not because literally gave zero fucks about anyone who wasn't in some way related to Lily Potter because he's that massive of a cuck.

>tfw Harry fucked his mom's clone

eyy its finchy

Every man does that.

>Slytherin produces one guy in like a century who isn't total human garbage
>woah, don't say anything bad about Slytherin, I knew a Slytherin and he was totally brave and stuff #notallslytherins #houseofpeace

Too bad he was the protagonist in the poorly marketed, wibbly wimey timey wimey mishap that was the Cursed Child book (not the play).
Then again, that's just my opinion.

So, you want them to ban the one house that's against racemixing, immigration, weakness etc?

Get out of here, you left-wing leaning parasite.

kek

fuck slytherin

LOTTA BRAVERY FOR A HIRED KEK

1 and 8 technically are equal

being double spy takes some balls tho
but yeah he was still a cunt, looking back everyone was

why the fuck is everyone just talking about harry potter all of a sudden?
my local theaters have even been marathoning the series.

did they release a new movie or something?

Albus Severus Potter... I'm sorry you had to be included in easily one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

wiyhout slytherin whats left?
the house of chad, the special needs students and the shoehorned 4th option nobody cares about?
at least slytherin gives a fuck about tradittion, plus where are you sending all the new slytherin students

your local theater had them in imax for a week and that was a month ago. yea there a spinoff. but you realize star wars and capeshit is talked about constantly. the hp movies are actually fucking good. the worst is goblet of fire tho

yeah I know, but I've still seen a lot more talk about them these past weeks than usual.

I think you've got the burger bro.

kys Quentin

You try working for the enemy for years and never crack under pressure

Horrible list

2 > 3 > 1 > 5 > 4 > 6 > 7 > 8

C U C K O L D R Y

tl;dr

>Albus Severus Potter
>ASP
Harry had no one to blame but himself when he went in Slytherin with Malfoy's kid.

Pefect rank desu

>calling others horrible
>cant see the blatant faults with chamber
I love it but shocker. 4 above anything? LMAO. 6 and 7 that low, LMAO.
I saw them all in IMAX chamber might have been the worst if it wasnt for how much goblet is batshit.

>2 > 3 > 1 > 5 > 4 > 6 > 7 > 8
dude i have bad news for you...

>OOTP
>better than HBP
That alone is into the trash

Slytherin is the only redpilled house. Every other one is full of degenerate mudblood apologists.

6, 7, and 8 have zero redeeming qualities.

I tried reading the Great Gatsby and the prose hurts my brain. I took a test and I'm in the 99th percentile for literacy. Does that mean I'm a dumb dumb? Am I the Dunning-Kruger effect in action?

This.

I'm pretty sure the film writers thought it was gonna be Hermione for the longest time but Rowling had to act contrarian and ruin it for everyone.

I know they're supposed to look like adults here but they still look like they're about 18 years old tops

More evidence for why that fucking epilogue scene should have been cut.

It was degenerate in the books, and even more so in the films.

man, that part was pretty autist and fanfic tier

he wasn't a spy for voldemort when he was actually in power you fucking tard

that didn't start until voldy killed harry's mom, that's what helped him turn sides.

>I named you Nimbus Firebolt Potter, after the two greatest loves of my life

Harry just totally gave Sirius and Remus the shaft, too.

>It's another gingercuck overcomes all his vast emotional and insecurity problems and gets the girl episode.

Ron should have taken Fred's place.

At least his daughter's middle name is Wormtail though :^)

>Harry is visibly 5 feet closer to the camera
>Ron is still taller than he

look a the pictures of 2 and 8
is that how a human being is supposed to grow or did he just get cosmetic surgery to widen his jaw?

Nah, the films makers were just dumb Harmonians, it was obvious that Harry will end up with Ginny, and he didn't really have any chemistry with Hermione - he frequently avoids her, lies to her, gets mad at her and snubs her.

>Chose to be a double agent, going undercover as one of the strongest wizard's (who can read minds) most trusted followers

>gave Sirius and Remus the shaft, too.

Harry's first kid was called James Sirius. Though yeah Lupin got fucked over.
>harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/James_Potter_II

is that how a human being is supposed to grow
thats how strong jawed people grow

Pleb, no surprise there.

right here is it, the definitive ranking if you arent a fucking idiot

There is literally nothing wrong with being a manlet

Lily looked gr8

Ginny got BLACKED

Harry should have dyed his hair red and then Snape wouldn't have bullied him so much.

OH SO WE'RE CALLING KEKS (((BRAVE))) PEOPLE NOW?

Yes.

>this entire post

Snape wasn't a cuck, that would implying he ever had a relationship with Harry's mum which he didn't.

His sin is even greater, which is that of the beta orbiter.

Perfect.

Camera lens amplifies it

Just like a real couple.

Bravo Rowling

>Diggory
Based Cedric was bro tier though.

He really was "my friendzoning oneitis' son"

A true tragedy

He cucked Harry and made Harry's later relationship with Cho a nightmare.

>ITS NOT FAIR
>SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY WIFE
>JAMES GET OUT RRREEEEEEEEEEEE

>girl friendzoned me for my rival, better join the beta uprising and kill some muggle cunts like her REEEEEEEEEEEEE

Snape cared about lily only
He wasnt some undercover good guy

>it's based Ced's fault HP was too slow on the draw
>it's also his fault Cho was an emotionally unstable teenager
Lad, you're crazy. He was the biggest bro in the series by far.

Truly one of us

Sounds like badly written fanfiction, but then again it's that cunt Rowling.

>Ginny: Harry, can we call one of our kids Fred? It would mean a lot to me
>Harry: Shut up I'm the Chosen One, my choice

Holy shit you're right, it's Chris Finch lmao

Diggory was a total bro and gentleman, anybody who disagrees is jealous of him and no better than a woman.

>7 and 6 that high
the slow pacing doesn't fit in a Harry Potter movie.
7 is alright, 6 is objectively the worst movie. 1 should be much higher. 4 is also better than 4, 5, 6 and 7.

>4 is also better than 4
What did he mean by this?

>I'm an adhd babby who needs ebin explosions and flying and dragons every few scenes to satisfy my low attention span

yo what would happen if somebody just shot voldemort with a gun, or any other wizard for that matter? do wizards know what guns are?

is slithering alt right and gryffindor the left?

do you autists genuenly enjoy and watch harry potter movies? they are literal childrens trash movies

And one humiliation away from joining the nazi wizards apparently...

>implying cursed child is canon

the alt right doesn't exist

>fall in love with girl
>she ignores you
>keep pestering her
>she starts fucking the guy that bullies you just to make you fuck off
>don't take the hint
>she marries him
>finally understand
>has a kid with him before they both get murdered
>be entrusted with keeping their kid alive while they're off fucking in wizard heaven
>everyday have to seen the combination of your crush and your bully in a fucking arrogant prodigy child that everyone worships
>start praying that nevil's the actual chosen one
>lolnope
>die defending your crush's son

Was Snape /ourguy/?

ravenclaw is the extremist tumblr left
Gryffindor is the working-class left
Slytherin is all forms of right-wing
Hufflepuff is apolitical

>Hufflepuff 2020

This picture sums my feels concerning Rowling's latest abortion pretty well.

it's not an abortion if she gives birth to it and loves it like a child
then it's just a sad miscarriage

Stop trying to apply retarded modern Americuck politics to these houses, faggots.

Also, if anything, Hufflepuff are commies.

Kek you are literally a shit tasting pleb, HP are better than 80% or more of what this board discusses. They are lotr are completely fucking awesome. Go back to your capeshit or star wars thread. Im sorry you cant see good direction and progression, ever film in the series feels different.

>that didn't start until voldy killed harry's mom
Didn't it start when he heard about the prophecy warning Voldemort that he'd be overthrown by Lily's son?

So like a few months before Lily's death.

t. pleb
the slow pacing is perfect 3 6 7.1 are the best

this