Luke did i ever tell you about the time we were captured by count dooku? instead of just killing us he presented us in a huge arena and had us fight monsters. Luckily like 50 jedi saved us by jumping into the arena, since they obviously didnt know any better way to help us out. they then fought like 1000 droids and most of them died because we were just overran by droids lol. the like 10 surviving jedi were saved by the arriving droid army, which unfortunately couldnt arrive 5 minutes before and saved the 40 dead jedi. But the survivors then engaged into a huge battle on an open field somewhere in geonosis, without any strategy and just let our army run into their army (they were only droids). tens of thousands of our clones died, it was madness, but in the end we won because we were more of them. During this we were flying over the battle in our completely save jets, under constant flag fire. One of our ships had like yoda, mace windu, ki adi mundi and kit fisto, like the 4 most powerful jedi masters of all on it. Luckily only the jet next to theirs got shot lol, so they could just run into the open battle with the clones. For this we were told to be worthy of being mentioned in the jedi archives! May they rest in peace, they were all good friends.
Luke did i ever tell you about the time we were captured by count dooku...
Luke did I ever tell you about the time I copy and pasted a meme which hasn't been popular in almost 2 year from the archive? I am a good friend.
user did I ever tell you about eating shit? Eat shit.
Luke, did I ever tell you that I'm a penniless bum so I will be getting you to sell your Land Speeder to pay for our taxi fare? I am a good leech.
Luke did I ever tell you about the time I had a big wank and made sperm all over a bantha bum bum
>luke did i ever tell you your dad built a full functional robot to help his mom when he was just 10 years old? Although he worked as a slave most of the time. He also build a pod racer on his own and even won the famous bunta eve race with it, remember luke, he was still just 10. Not to forget, he ended a whole war be destroying the opponents leader ship all ALONE, with a fighter jet he stole. And even when everyone was against him because he was too old, he became the most powerful jedi of all and even the youngest jedi to be a part of the jedi council. He probably saved dozents of planets and my life for countless times. He even got your mom, a 9/10 queen/senator gf. Even when i betrayed him and chopped his arms and legs off, he became the boss of the whole imperial fleet.
and you luke? what have you accomplished? you moon rats shooting piece of shit, you are a bad friend
Can I buy this pasta? I will pay up ot $109.97
People say girl Luke was a Mary Sue for bypassing the compressah but Anakin was the Gary Stuiest.
...
ill give it to you as a gift
i dont need your charity fuck you
Luke, did I ever tell you I'm a classically trained actor with a hundred films under my belt, yet all people want to talk about is fucking Star Wars?
Luke did I ever tell you why I gave your sister to a rich family so she became a Princess and had an awesome childhood while I gave you to a peasant farmer on a shitty planet so your childhood was nothing but hard work and sand?
I am a good friend.
Luke, did I ever tell you about the time Han and Lando threw a giant dance party and Lobot was the DJ? He played a Star Wars parody of a Jason Derulo song. He was a good friend.
BRAVO LUCAS
>Muahhhhhhhhhh! Luke, did I ever tell you about Paul Masson? The Corellian Starpilots have always been renowned for their excellence. There is a Corellian Starpilot who gave his life for the republic. And like all good friends, he was captured by the empire and fermented in carbonite. Did I mention he was vintage dated?.......Luke?
Luke, did I ever tell you about the Oscar I won for playing a character with some fucking depth? He was a good character.
>luke did I ever tell you the time where a respected and high ranking Jedi master turned to the dark side and told me, who was captive on geonosis, that a SITH LAWD was masking as a politician and controlled half the senate. I didn't believe him at the time. I didn't even bother investigating the claim. Boy, chancellor Palaptine sure was pretty nosey into our Jedi affairs.
>your father who displayed numerous signs of anger and hate was pretty cosy with the chancellor. Hmmmm....nah.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Darth Maul? He was Sheev's apprentice before Dooku and Vader that used a double-bladed lightsaber. He fought against my master Qui-Gon on Naboo, and managed to kill him. Fortunately, even though I was still a Padawan I managed to cut him in half by taking advantage of the fact that he didn't know how to use the High Ground. However, it turned out that his hate somehow allowed him to survive getting cut in half and falling down a bottomless pit, and he somehow managed to escape from Naboo and become a cyborg spider on some other planet. Years later, during the Clone Wars, his brother Savage Opress found him and upgraded his cyborg legs. They went on a rampage across the Galaxy, trying to get revenge both on me and his former master Sheev. It's such a pity that he never told anyone that Sheev was a Sith Lord, that would have saved us a lot of trouble. They eventually took over Mandalore and killed the only woman I had ever loved right in front of me. After that I kind of lost track of him, not sure what became of him. I hope he's doing well, he was a good friend.
Luke did I ever tell you I actually fucking hate Star Wars and only appreciate it because it made me a lot of money?
>the like 10 surviving jedi were saved by the arriving droid army, which unfortunately couldnt arrive 5 minutes before and saved the 40 dead jedi.
poor quality control
Luke did I ever tell you about the time that I was a good friend?
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Jizz? Jizz was an upbeat, swinging genre of music, most notably performed by Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes and the Max Rebo Band.
Subgenres of jizz included the styles of jizz-wail, aubade, and glitz. Also, the music form jatz was reminiscent of, or in some ways similar to jizz.
Other notable jizz bands included Bobolo Baker's All-Bith Band, Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers, Hutt, Figrin D'an II and the New Modal Nodes, and The Sozzenels.
starwars.wikia.com
>Savage Opress
People shit on Anakin for being Space Jesus all the time after that came out.
> 2 years
Get a load of this newfag
Genuine kek.
i have a tiny dick
>Star Wars
>Noone has PTSD
dropped into the rubbish.html
Yeah because Anakin is space Jesus.
Unless they make Rey another Force creation then they can fuck off.
Underrated post
Christ, somebody get this hothead outta here!
>hard work and sand
if this isn't the better childhood in your eyes, you done fucked up.
>yeah I'd rather sit at a dinner table with a stick shoved up my ass than bullseye whomp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than a meter.
Luke is a better person for having escaped the trap of an easy life.
The EU was a mistake.
Luke, congratulations in defeating the Empire but before me and Master Yoda pass on, did I ever tell you about Mount Sorrow? It is a sentient mountain here on Endor who is always crying, his tears have great healing properties and he is an important piece of the ewokian myths, you should visit Sorrow some time. he is a good friend.
>Despite being a mountain, Sorrow was in a constant state of depression, be it either stern or sad. It had excessively high standards, granting the benefit of its healing powers only to those it deemed "worthy." It also had no qualms about sending children to their death, which it demonstrated by attempting to murder Wicket Wystri Warrick and Princess Kneesaa a Jari Kintaka.
Why are mountains such assholes
Gotta teach a lesson to those shitty ewok kids
> Luckily like 50 jedi saved us by jumping into the arena
>the like 10 surviving jedi were saved
>couldnt arrive 5 minutes before and saved the 40 dead jedi
50 (alive first) - 40 (then dead) = 10 (survivors)
Han, the force and jedi are real. one of their leaders aided me and my people in the clone wars.
Whats that Chewie? Yeah I'm angry too
MIDICHLORIANS
He's saying about the arriving Droid army. It should have said arriving clone army
It was a good load.
I KNOW I HAVEN'T FIXED THE ENGINE
JUST STICK YOUR FLAMMABLE PAWS IN THERE AND DO IT FOR ME
You've got to be kidding.
the difference is anakin has pretty apparent flaws and while he is exceptionally skilled in the force he still gets trashed and loses a hand the first time he gets into a lightsaber fight
Just let Star Wars DIE. PLEASE
>tfw you hate starwars
>tfw you will have to deal with constant starwars movies every year for the next decade
ITS NOT
FAIR
WHY DIDN'T DISNEY LET IT DIE
Yes.
His "Sue-per powers" are an explicit part of the story (muh midichlorian count chosen one), and the movies are about him having to deal with having this skill, being told he has a "destiny" by the Jedi, all while not feeling like he can be true to the Jedi ways.
Rey is a Sue because we're supposed to treat her like hapless farmboy Luke one minute then watch her immediately go to maximum podracing with zero reason besides "she has so many midichlorians XD".
Anakin is canonically "ground zero" of the Skywalker ubermensch genes, and all he could do with the force was predict events ever so slightly before they happened. That's all that Luke could do too. Even with Yoda telling him how and what to do to lift an X-Wing, he could barely rattle it.
Meanwhile Rey is as good right off the bat as the other two became after years of training.
>tfw you were growing up when the original trilogy was coming out in theatres
>tfw you loved it
>tfw you now have to see your favourite film sci-fi trilogy get milked into oblivion by Disney kikes
Luke did I ever tell you about color? The color of an object was its property of producing different sensations on the eye as a result of the way it reflects light. The planet of Felucia hosted many translucent life-forms that colored the sunlight as its beams penetrated their skin. Blue, green, red and yellow were examples of colors.
In the galaxy, colors were often culturally significant. For example, the color red was associated with diplomatic immunity under the Galactic Republic. However, the color red was sometimes regarded as intense and aggressive. For that reason, the Sith wielded red lightsaber blades that represented their destructive view of the Force. Likewise, the white color of clone trooper armor signified an honorable symbol of defense before becoming skewed into one of a faceless icon of conformity under the Galactic Empire. In the days of the Old Republic, silver was used as a status symbol for royalty, as residents of Naboo used chromium to cover their fighters and cruisers.
>Luke, I know who Obi-wan Kenobi is. He was a famous Jedi general. We fought in many battles together and I am personally responsible for saving his life multiple times.
R2 and C3P0 were mind wiped at the end of ROTS though.
Still, including both of the droids in the prequel trilogy was retarded story-wise. It's simply way too much of a coincidence that they would end up in the hands of Luke after 20 years after having belonged to his dad.
R2 wasn't wiped.
>you are a bad friend
gets me everytime