Harry Potter /hp/ General

Voldemort Didn't do Nuffin' Edition

>Be social outcast
>Very smart but outcasted by your peers who are in a way also outcasted by magical society (Slytherins)
>Still become very successful
>Not trusted by mentors, they fear you will become a school shooter
>Become a school shooter

He lives up I everyone's expectations, what else did they think would happen?

he wasn't a social reject at all, m8, he was charismatic and well-liked

did we ever learn about what the exact incantation/ritual for making a Horcrux is?

you asked why there was so many threads the other day and the answer is because you aren't spamming RT scores in "dc cuck" threads anymore and also this lady >D_Hannah_209

When was he outcasted by his peers? Obviously he hated everybody at his orphanage but was there ever any evidence that people shunned him once he got to Hogwarts too? They were probably receptive to him at first but then got bored of his rants about blood purity. He's like that weird kid from Sup Forums

They didn't think they would have ended up in one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

RARRRRBLRLLBRL!!!

Ravenclaw or Slytherin? Why?

>Merlin was a Slytherin
talk shit about my house again, I dare you

Gryffinshits on suicide watch

delet

>it's another "Charms professor assigned the Invisible Book of Invisibility for the course" episode
I can't fucking believe I have to spend money on this horseshit

Just made a pottermore account, gonna see what patronus, house, and wand I get.

Where would you be lads?

Gryffindor:
>Brave and reckless. Always focus on what they stand to gain, rather than what could go wrong.
>Typically possess their own code of morals and abide to them strongly.
>Tend to make good leaders thanks to a gift for charisma and chivalry.
>Not necessarily good, James is an example

Slytherin:
>Cunning, will use out of the box methods to achieve their goals.
>Determined, will do whatever must be done.
>Primarily self concerned, his own needs usually come first in decision making.
>Not necessarily bad, Slughorn is an example.

Ravenclaw:
>Hungry for knowledge, ever soaking up information from books and conversation
>Whether through abstract or informed thinking, will usually come to enlightened conclusions that others cannot.
>Not necessarily intelligent, Luna is an example of this.

Hufflepuff:
>Honest and true. Even when dealing with enemies, lies and trickery will not be used.
>Hard working and reliable. Ask him to get the job done, and he will see it done.
>Only ever described as the 'house for all the rest' once in the first book, a description inconsistent with all future ones of the house.
>Not necessarily middle of the road people, Cedric is an example.

In my headcanon Dumbledore molested Tom Riddle and it caused the whole fucking thing.

Did Merlin's ghost attend Hogwarts hundreds of years after he died?

The fuck outta here.

Just did the test and got Slytherin

I have had nightmares of this book before.

I got Hufflepuff

wtf i guess im really edgy? probably gonna get sorted into slytherin

Me? Gryffindor
That neet who thinks 7.1 is good? Whatever the garbage low IQ one would be
The rest of Sup Forums? Whichever one would be the pedo one.

h u f f l e p u f f

You're making a joke but I'm currently re-reading the books and in Chamber of Secrets the bookkeeper complains about how he ordered a bunch of invisible books once and never even found them.

Personally, I thought it would have been better if he'd said that he still occasionally randomly trips over one.

I've done it like 4 times, answering honestly each time
i think I've gotten 3 of the 4 houses on different tries
It mostly comes down to what questions it asks you
Same goes for all the quizzes on Pottermore- they don't use enough questions each time for it to give you results with any level of reliability, it's basically random

Slytherin, I'm edgy as fuck

fuck out of here dummy Merlin was around for Hogwarts, you must be getting him confused with Ptolemy or something

honestly i'd want hufflepuff and got it in pottermore, but irl i'd probably be ravenclaw.

>Not necessarily good, James is an example
James joined the resistance against a magical genocidal psychopath and died protecting his family.

>Not necessarily bad, Slughorn is an example.
Slughorn knew that Voldemort was invincible, how he went about achieving this, and even how many horcruxes he had created. Slughorn not only didn't tell anyone this information, he actively worked to hide it from the people trying to save the country so he wouldn't look bad.

>Not necessarily intelligent, Luna is an example of this.
Luna is prime waifu material, fuck right off. People grow up hearing that unicorns, basilisks, dragons, and griffins aren't real, but turns out they all are. The people saying otherwise just had never seen them. So she is unwilling to make that same demonstrably incorrect leap in logic for other animals, and now she's not smart?


>Not necessarily middle of the road people, Cedric is an example.
Fair enough, I guess.

In the earlier books there are tons of things that are said/ happen just to be concise, understandable-for-children jokes and shouldn't really be taken as serious aspects of the stories/ characters/ world

>tfw that's actually how you thought it really was

peter pettigrew was a gryffindor.

What I thought would happen was that we would yet again be subjected to one of the dullest shitposts in the history of Sup Forums shitposts - and yet again I was right. Each shitpost following /lit/ NEETs and their pals from /r9k/ as they fight assorted kinographers has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the lack of film analysis the shitpost's only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of images and pasta to make fantasy unfantastical, to make witchcraft seem plebeian.

Perhaps the die was cast when Quentin vetoed the idea of shitposting on /lit/. Posting the pasta on Sup Forums, he made sure it would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for his (You)s. The shitpost might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly anti-intellectual in its refusal of critique and watching for the plot. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the shitposts are funny though
"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the main text is terrible and the troll jpg isn't much better. As I read, I noticed that every time he shitposts, Quentin writes that "Atlas Shrugged is a God-tier form of art."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that shitpost was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several hundred thousand times. I was incredulous. The shitposter's mind is so governed by spamming and repetition that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the shitpost by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of: "If these kids are shitposting at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you shitpost you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

What. Are you trying to tell me invisible books are not canon because it was just a joke?

eh, not as bad as hufflepuff i guess.

>botching the intro yet again

kill yourself

Then Peter Pettigrew should have been the example, not James Potter.

Nah that's fine as canon- the character's reaction to them being ridiculous and unbelievable is just how JK wrote the early books though, something like that wouldn't happen in the world that the books' world turned into later on

deathly hallows part 1 tho

literally /ourguy/. how will marcus recover?

i agree

Slughorn isn't unique in his shame over Voldemort's past, you could apply this to any of the people in Voldemort's life who saw the signs but did nothing because he was too suave, and then later too dangerous

>citizen bane
>avatar

every time

Guy's brave- he cuts off his arm with a fucking knife to get Voldemort back to power. He has some brave and good qualities, but he also has self-interested motives and can be a coward in equal part
Maybe he's a Harry-esque sorting case where the hat couldn't really decide, and he got into Gryffindor because he admired/ wanted to be them more?

Best series hands down.

A bookkeaper ordering invisible books and not being to find them sounds exactly like something that would happen in the Harry Potter universe though. Just because the world went to shit later and the plots focused on more serious things doesn't somehow negate that. It's not like Voldemort's existence and the existence of candy flavoured like boogers are contradictory.

They're not contradictory but they make wizards seem like inept retards, like a lot of the 'so randumb' details of the earlier books

rate me Sup Forums
House- Hufflepuff (yeah, i know)
Patronus- Blackbird
Wand- Beech wood with a Phoenix feather core 9 ¾" and Unbending flexibility

>Guy's brave- he cuts off his arm with a fucking knife to get Voldemort back to power.
He does that out of cowardice and coercion though, what's brave about it? The only reason he works for Voldemort is to protect himself from everything else. Voldemort even points this out, that he only returned to him out of fear.

>deathly hollows part 2
>voldemort demands the students to hand over harry
>one (1) (I) slitheryn girl tells everyone to hand over harry
>all of slytherin is sent to the dungeon because of ONE slitheryn

Really makes you think

it's possible, but my point was that the house archetypes aren't as rigid as people make them out to be.

Best movie?
Best book?
Most comfy movie?

>HE'S A HUFFLEPUFF

Yeah, I'm sure it was just because of her and not because of Slytherin's history and the fact that a bunch of those children literally had family outside about to attack the castle.

wizards are inept retards in the canon. nothing else can explain how inefficient the wizarding world is, or how witches and wizards continue to be incapable of understanding the simplest of muggle technologies. it's like they stopped learning about the rules of physics because le magic, even though most sciences would still immensely help them.

Sorry, I didn't mean to put it as if Luna is dumb. Instead of not intelligent, I should have put not remarkably intelligent. Luna is indeed able to discover or believe in things others wouldn't even think of looking into because they don't have the same brilliant and inquisitive mind she does, a Ravenclaws mind. James was a bully during his teen years, so he was not a good person, at least not then. This doesn't mean he was a bad person overall, but he wasn't a shining beacon of decency. In the same way, Slughorn was hardly a respectable man, but when it came to the crunch he put his life on the line to defend Hogwarts instead of running away like literally every other member of Slytherin did. On my recent read through, I was surprised to realize JK really didn't mention a single Slytherin staying behind.

>posting this all the time
In the deleted scenes they are broken out the second filtch locks them in calm down slytherin

in the books it wasn't just Parkinson, there was widespread support from the Slytherin students to do so as well

also, they didn't lock them in the dungeons, they were freely allowed to evac the castle along with all the others who didn't want to fight

a huge portion of Slytherin house returned to the castle at the end, as they had spent their evac opportunity fetching reinforcements, instead of fighting the suicide fight in the school (as Slytherins would do)

>moviefags

So? Is literally every slytherin automaically a nazi?

>his wand is only 9 ¾"

>bookfags

So is Scamander

Yes

Did the Pottermore test and I came out Griffindor

What the fuck? I'm not a normie pleb chad, I wanted Ravenclaw or Slytherin

All depending on your taste. Read, watch and decide for yourself

What are you talking about? I just concatted this pic not 5 mins ago

And if every slytherin is always automatically evil why are they even allowed in?

Pleb as fuck. Deathly plebllows is quite simply the worst thing to happen to cinema ever. Its forced studio hackery has caused millions of people all over the world to force themselves to like what is quite simply nothing more than an exercise in profit milking.

Yates has no idea what he is doing here. His film jumps around with little to no sense of unity. The great film makers of the world create a series of events that contain clarity of information, something Yates couldn't bet his life on.

What is the purpose of what is going on here? Is there any coherent message? I have heard suggestions that it is Yates attempt at lessons in stillness, but what stillness is that? Does Yates even know?

This is Twilight part 2 for the reddit crowd. Pure studio ideals over cinema.

What's the advantage of having a larger wand? Wouldn't increased length = higher chance of getting snapped somehow?

Me too bro, and I got a shitty fox patronous. Got an edgy dangerous dragon heartstring wand though.

witches are interested in wizards with longer wands.

...

>Best movie
Its widely agreed by plebs and patricians that the only good movie is the one directed by an actual filmmaker(POA)
>Best book
None. The movies are all better even if they are garbage before and after 3

First and last are the only good movies
Second would be great if it wasn't way too long
Last book is my favourite
First movie is most comfy

Can I take the Pottermore test without signing up or other hoop jumping like that?

>Ravenclaw or Slytherin
A Slytherin would have cheated on the test.

Nothing at all, size doesn't matter, right?

>this fedorafag trying his hardest in every single Harry Potter thread. Reminder this is the korinefag and hes an autist who takes things very seriously

>fox patronus

I got a fucking sphinx cat

I hate cats

nah

*first, third and last, whoops

No, you need to sign up, but it's free so just do it.

No, Rowling's just shit at writing and never presented us with decent Slytherins. I understand in the earlier books, when it was still for very young readers, Malfoy and the rest of his house existed as clear antagonists to Harry and his gang. Everybody viewed them as the "evil" house. But as the books went on Rowling should've done more to blur this line and introduce some Slytherin characters that are actually nice and don't want to kill everybody.

I'm reading the books again and whenever they even describe secondary Slytherin characters Rowling not only gives them negative personalities but she also describes them as being physically ugly lmao. It's so childish of her

Also it's funny that you're arguing this because this being Sup Forums you'd probably never argue against generalising someone based on their race or religion. You probably think that's reasonable but meanwhile go full #NotAllSlytherins.

Make up your own mind

then again rowling is a women and women can't create anything good to save their own lives

so you're expecting a bit too much from her

ok rate me anons

house: huff le puff
patronus: mongrel dog
wand: maple dragon 12.75 inch surprisingly swishy
clapistan house: thunderbird

stuff about the wand: maple apparently is a sign of status, dragon is also supposed to be good quality.

Yeah, and most pockets are only 4 inches deep, right? I heard many witches prefer shorter wands because they find it difficult to fit the larger ones in their pockets anyway

>hufflepuff
>mongrel dog
Fucking Mudbloods, I swear.

...

DUDE MISOGYNY LMAO

Niggas it was just a basic discussion starter, just curious what other people's picks are, maybe I should have said FAVORITE and not BEST

Mine are
Azkaban as favorite movie
Goblet as favorite book
And Stone as comfiest movie

it is what it is my friend

Heh

post tits baby

So does Pottermore actually reveal anything cool lore wise? Doesn't it have snippets of new stories by Rowling?

Cry all you want you tasteless fucking neet, but every "mainstream" user based reviewing agrees.

You can samefag though and I'll even kick it off for you :^)
wow based taste dude, my rankings are the same
honestly 3>7>6>whatever!!

Prisoner of Azakaban is the worst piece of shit in the whole franchise and I'm pretty sure its "praise" here only started as a joke but retards started taking it seriously
>retarded time travel just because (never mentioned again)
>movie goes out of its way to try to trick the viewer
>too spoopy X-D dementors lurking the school and attacking our main hero because
>peak of harry potter dick sucking in the franchise

They are all comfy. Its up to your preference, but each is comfy in its own way.

what did Malfoy do after the battle of Hogwarts?

Bookfags are literary why Ron/Hermione shippers are insufferable

...

Had a kid and joined the Ministry based on the Cursed Child.

>allow ex-soldiers of the rebel faction to join the government
wew lad. is the ministry of magic even trying???