EXT. PIC RELATED - NIGHT
We open with an establishing shot of pic related.
Let's write a movie, Sup Forums
A meteor hits it wiping it off the face of the Earth, proof of divine retribution or because the meteor called his mom from inside that black box.
It blows up
We zoom in on the destruction...it's beautiful. The door of the black box opens and we see a figure take a step out of the box.
he also then proceeds to blow up
Split screen. OP, , , , and are seen typing their posts ITT. Bearded men silently approach them from behind with scimitars. Their blades and eyes gleam.
London 2054
I teleport behind them and say
>Nothin' Halal, Muhammad
Bright white background. The Big Black Cock lies afloat in the air. A faint "Zozzle" is heard
i'd love to see a mecha movie where the mecca turns into a mecha that's powered by the meteorite in it.
in future sequels he'd be joined by the christbot and robo-moses.
the bearded man then prepares to take my head off with one swing
but just as the blade is about to make contact with my shiny neck which glistens with the reflected light of the screen i tilt my head downward as i attempt to blow myself and in doing so the blade just slightly misses me and bomerangs back to the bearded man and decapitates him
Elsewhere, on galactic starship US-50043, Star Commander Kurt Holdings is reviewing his 3d star map. Enemy forces are approaching and he's struggling to decide how to proceed.
Suddenly, his hot lieutenant, Sasha Boomtowm, enters the room with sad eyes to deliver bad news.
>Sasha: It's Earth, sir...
>using "we" in a description inside a screenplay
>Ash-hadu al-la Ilaha ill Allah starts playing
"For you"
This is rivetting...
>zooms into a man in the crowd
>it's George Bush with a beard
>he gives us a knowing smile
SNAP ZOOM in towards a figure running out of a mosque:
SHANE
m'ask you sumn m'uhammad
A SHORT, FAT, NECKBEARDED MAN in his MID 20s, approaches the microphone before the audience. There is CHEETOH dust covered sporadically on his shirt.
NECKBEARDED MAN
I am a faggot
The AUDIENCE roars in laughter, and THE POPE, 70s, Shoots him in the head with a sniper rifle from the audience.
The Audience cheers
CUT TO BLACK
THE END
EXT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
INT. JANNY'S ROOM - CONTINUOS
A large obese man opens the microwave to see if his hotpockets are ready.
Flashback
We see the beautiful head-strong Summer Brieze sitting at her desk writing in a diary in 1930s New York
Voice Over:
>Oh how I missed those summer nights. I wonder if sir Reginald will ever write to me again, we had such a connection
Summer looks wistfully out of the window as the sun begins to set
INT. NEWSROOM - MINUTES AFTER THE ASTEROID HIT.
NEWS ANCHOR: Breaking news ladies and neckbeards! An asteroid--yes, an asteroid--has just crashed into Mecca. WHAT DID THE ASTEROID MEAN BY THIS? Find out after the commercial break.
WIPE RIGHT
A volcanic planet - night
AERIAL SHOT
Up mountain side, lava pouring down
A figure enters the frame
CUT TO
Obi-Wan Kenobi walking up the slope
Turns back
Obi Wan Kenobi: WOO YEAH BITCH I HAD THE FUCKING HIGH GROUND
Continues climbing
EXT. AIRSTRIP, SAUDI ARABIA - NIGHT
An airstrip overlooking the wreckage left by the meteor. A bland CIA Operative, flanked by Special Forces Men, stands in front of a commuter plane. CIA Man watches the Land Cruiser pull up, hard. The Militia Men jump out of the vehicle. The Driver puts on toothpick and shoves the bespectacled man in front of the CIA Man.
CIA MAN
Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA.
good thread
Ext. Space
The outer rims of the galaxy
Alien Commander Vikarious looks menacingly into the distance
>Alien Grunt: Sir, we're losing the battle. But the asteroid successfully hit the earth
Vikarious realises, it was him all along, he was the cause of all earth's pains
>Commander Vikarious: Ready the time-machine. We're going to infiltrate 1930s New York
INT. THE VATICAN
A gang of sheepish monks flock around the podium
(MONKS CHANTING)
Oh holy rama, rise up!
A mysterious 5 headed goat begins to rise from the podium
RECORD SCRATCH. FREEZE FRAME
Ok, so i bet you're all wondering how I got here
FOOTAGE REWINDS LIKE A VHS TAPE WITH SOUND EFFECT
The 5 headed goat, a hulking, insanely powerful creature rises from the podium.
Goat Creature: (Deafening Roar)
The creature grabs one of the monks, the monk fitting almost entirely in the creature's fist, and bites half his body off.
CUT TO:
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
A regular muslim sits on his bed, eyes closed praying. His eyes pop open. And in a split second he runs out of the apartment in super speed breaking the sound barrier immediately. He approaches the creature at the vatican, now dressed in his full muslim uniform.
ISLAM MAN: I'VE COME TO FIGHT YOU, CREATURE.
CUT BACK TO 1930s NEW YORK
Summer is trying on wedding dresses
DRESS FITTER
Who are you kidding honey? There's no man in your life
Summer holds back a tear.
SUMMER (blankly)
I don't need a man, just a good dress. The man will come later
Deep down, she felt the fear that never would Sir Reginald ever lust after her
CUT TO
EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - PRESENT DAY
The commuter plane struggles with the rain.
INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS
CIA MAN
The flight plan I just filed with the Agency lists me, my men, and Dr. Pavel here. But only one of you.
CIA Man opens the cargo door. Special Forces hang Hooded Man 1 out into the howling wind - CIA Man shouts above the wind.
CIA MAN
WHO PAID YOU TO...
Suddenly, a lightning bolt strikes the plane, making it dissapear.
CUT TO
OUTER REACHES OF THE GALAXY
ALIEN SHIP, INT
Commander Vikarious sits in the time portal ready to travel back in time. The glow from the rotating machinery lights up the room with neon blue and electricity. The alien subordinates are smiling manically as they monitor the graphs and stats.
Suddenly an error message flashes
ALIEN GRUNT
Wait, something's wrong! What the...
The grunt looks up just in time to see a plane materialise in the chamber. Suddenly the plane along with Vikarious implode into the time warp.
The grunts look very panicked
GRUNT
Shiiiiiiiiii-
THEY ARE SUDDENLY BACK IN ANCIENT EGYPT.. THEY ARE QUICKLY ARRESTED BY SOME BLACK EGYPTIAN SOLDIERS.. THEY GO TO THE PYRAMID OF GIZA WHERE BARRAK OBAMA'S ANCESTOR SITS.
Obama's ancestor: if if if if if if if if WE cannot figure out what to do with these... Uhhh... OKIE DOKS.. Then I shall have them excecuted to please Yakub.
The aliens are thrown into a cell where they wait for their public excecution.
Like A Nigga Say Do: Origin of the Dindu
This Fall...
ANCIENT EGYPT, ext
Agent Wilson's plane lies in the dessert, covered in sand.
PLANE INT
The masked man wakes up and removes his hood revealing himself to be Bane. The other hooded men wake up and also remove their hoods
BANE
We find ourselves in a weird place bretheren. No worry, the fire shall rise!
Bane and his men proceed to exit the plane..
Agent Wilson slowly wakes up as Bane and co are leaving
MEANWHILE
1930s NEW YORK
Summer sits drinking tea at a coffee shop as the world passes her by. In the background, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol plays
A single tear runs down Summer's perfect cheek bones
As the song finishes, she sighs loudly.
JUAN
You look sad little lady
Summer looks up to see Juan, a tall, handsome and rich gentlemen standing nearby. There is instant chemistry
Suddenly Juan teleports behind Summer and brings a blade to her throat
JUAN
Heh, nothing personal dear
Juan slashes her throat, killing her instantly, and then steals her necklace, for it is a magic necklace that holds the temporal co-ordinates of the Golden Horoscope.
Juan brings up his wrist
JUAN
This is agent Juan. Target dead. I have the necklace. I'm going after the horoscope
Juan disappears in a blue lightning sphere as passerbys stare at him, shocked