Harry Potter & The Cursed Child

>Speaking on the Unofficial Universal Orlando Podcast, journalist and historian Jim Hill, who apparently has good contacts in the film departments at Disney and Universal, said: "I have heard that Warner Bros has actually had conversations with [Emma], with Rupert, and, of course, Daniel about Cursed Child, because they want this to be, for lack of a better term, Harry Potter: The Force Awakens.

>"They want this trilogy of movies to have the actors that we know and love from the original films, that we watched grow up, as adults."

>He continued: "And, of course, they're hiring a bunch of new, younger actors to play their children with the hope that, if we can lean on JK [Rowling], maybe there'll be The Cursed Adolescent."

>The insider also added that he expects the release date of the first movie to be in 2026, two years after the fifth and final Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them film.

Are you ready for the return of true Potterkino?

>fifth and final Fantastic Beasts
FIFTH? What the fuck? I thought they said it would be 3.

No.

Are you ready to see Alan Rickman resurrected?

(Snape is in Cursed Child)

He died in the last book/movie

>(Snape is in Cursed Child)

I only ever read the synopsis for this once.
Isn't it all kinds of stupid?

Fuck, didn't read it. Fuck that shit, not canon to me.

It's all based around a special Time-Turner that actually alters history

It's awful

Of course it is, it's a shit addition to one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Yeah, it's basically approved fan fiction.

There's also no way Rupert or Daniel agree to sign up.

hopefully directors do their usual approach and borrow fuck all of the source.

Or JKR gets thrown some money to write a proper title, wonder how much money it would take to make happen? That future jump was fucking terrible scrap it and start again.

fag

>Voldermort and Belatrix had a secret love daughter
>Harry's second son joins Slytherin and falls in love with her
>They use the time turner to travel back in time to resurrect Voldermort
>Whilst they were in the past Snape comments how he's proud that Lily's grandson carries his name

>tfw no magic to abra kadabra WB away

I inexplicably laughed when I read:

>Harry Potter: The Force Awakens

I almost spit out my tea but I held it in. I don't know why that phrase amused me so.

Please someone post the hilarious synopsis from that dailybeast article. I am on mobile. I feel like this board don't mock it enough because it was more /lit/ territory but now it's a movie!

Draco Malfoy's son is actually called the Scorpion King and there's a whole parallel timeline they visit where voldemort won.

it concisely shows you how fucking utterly deluded the film industry is. Yeah it'll make loads of money, but that phrase alone tells you exactly how and why it's going to be a shit, years long waste of time

Well that sounds like awful, awful fanfiction.

I'd probably watch it to just go see the train wreck lmao. I didn't go for beasts cause who cares, but getting Emma and Ron and harry back in shitty old people makeup in a crappy time travel adventure. Whew

>Harry Potter's son and the butterfly effect

>harry potter and the half successful abortion

I'm not against having a new Higwarts series with an older crew in a decade or so but does it fucking have to be a Cursed Child adaptation? That shit is honestly embarrassing, Rowling didn't write it and it shows. Just let her do some more after she's finished with Fantastic Beasts and make a movie about those. Say what you want about her but at least there's a slight amount of quality to her writing that makes her shit moderately entertaining. I mean compared to the fucking fanfiction-tier script of Cursed Child she's a savant

>if we can lean on JK
>hey we want to give you another $70-80 million but you better accept
>hmm maybe I'll think about it

>not seeing beastkino

why do you only like bad acting?

came for this

I sincerely hope Radcliffe has more integrity than this.

You can probably make a passable story out of CC if you cut out the more retarded plot elements, at the very least Albus and Scorpius are somewhat interesting characters.

Wtf why

I don't like to that much obvs, since I avoid shit like 'beastkino'

>because they want this to be, for lack of a better term, Harry Potter: The Force Awakens.
Jesus Christ that sounds awful

Who gets to be the Mary Sue protagonist?

If its a straight up adaptation? Delphi, she's the only female with more than 5 lines.

>Delphi

Who the fuck comes up with this shit?

on the other hand, he does this and he can keep doing artsy no budget movies for another decade

>Delphi
Apparently this is from tumblr fanfiction.

As someone who actually saw the play live, it was fucking shit and had a "twist" right at the end that made no fucking sense with delphi and the orgary which was never even explained.

Was literally just a cash grab, the only good thing was the live action effects but a movie can handle that, everything else like PLOT is complete bullshit and this project needs to die.

Only tumblrfags unironically think this is good even plebbitors disliked it

Is Delphi a Marey Sue?

Who?

She's the secret daughter of Voldemort and Bellatrix, and has silver blue hair. /she's also some sort of herald of death bird thing (I dunno the script didn't explain it very well).

That's dumb, I thought that Voldemort was incapable of feeling love or attachment

>that's what she actually looks like

Holy fanfiction batman

>they want this to be, for lack of a better term, Harry Potter: The Force Awakens.

>they're hiring a bunch of new, younger actors to play their children with the hope that, if we can lean on JK [Rowling], maybe there'll be The Cursed Adolescent.

>he expects the release date of the first movie to be in 2026, two years after the fifth and final Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them film.

It's like an escalation of shit with a bigger shit after another.

>That's dumb, I thought that Voldemort was incapable of feeling love or attachment

My main problem is more that he lacks a nose but apparently has a fully working genitalia.

What if the Dark Lord was a cute girl?

It's simple, let's just all not go to see fantastic beasts in cinema and these won't get made, right?

Wouldn't be lord then

Please, no, it`s fucking shit.

It's 2017 shitlord, "Lord" is now a gender-neutral term

It's happening no matter what. There are too many adult children even outside of this board

>4 more Fantastic Beast films over the course of the next 10 years

What in the actual fuck?

At what Soul Level do I need to be at to fight the Trolley Lady boss?

>true Potterkino?

Except the source material is garbage.

I'm honestly surprised they are not snuffing Emma for a the most ape-looking nigress possible, like they did for the play

They are going full cash cow mode

it's a meme you dip

Why what did it do?

it's more of the grindelwald vs dumbledore story

read a newspaper every now and then, dumbass. at least theyre spacing it out to every 2 years unlike star cuk.

It literally reads like fan fiction

The dialog is awful, the plot is awful, it's just awful

There is not one redeeming thing about it, and I say that as a huge HP movie and book fan

it was meant to be seen as a play. everyone i know who actually watched it said it was good.

problem is them publishing it and literally trying to pass it off as book 8 is misleading and the fan reaction was unsurprising. i dunno why they didnt see that coming.

And now we have an official Harry Potter thread.

>There's no way two actors won't sign up for free money
Keep thinking that.

That's not an excuse, plenty of plays read just fine when reading the script

I'm told the play works because it's well acted and the effects are amazing, doesn't change the fact the plot is pretty much fanfiction tier.

>fifth Fantastic Beasts
>three Cursed Childs
wtf this crap is being milked harder than Shit Wars.

plays are always going to be overwrought whether you like it or not.

i'm saying it's easier to digest as a play. but if you read harry potter for a decade then suddenly have to read a script and treat it as another novel in your head, you're gonna have a bad time.

They may do it, but they could also do it without Snape. Maybe have Sirius Black or another character take his place.

>crappy old people makeup

You miss the part where they're waiting until the actors are all in their mid-30s?

Is Fantastic Beasts good?

some parts are iffy and it has the usual problems as a Yates potter film but for the most part it's good. its kind of like a standalone though, almost no connection/reference to the potter series (which i liked desu)

Grint doesn't give a fuck anymore, and Radcliffe became an alcoholic from doing HP, which is why he's doing laid back indie movies now, instead of blockbusters.

better than movies 3-8

not as good as 1-2, which were pure kino

>Radcliffe became an alcoholic from doing HP
Yup, he says he can pinpoint scenes in Half-Blood Prince in particular where he was drunk

What did (((she))) mean by this?

Im not saying some of the criticism isn't unfairly levelled at it being a script, but a play doesn't have to be outlandish, just the plot of Harry Potters middle child who looks just like him, but is best friends with an overly cheerful Malfoy, is sorted into Slytherin, and turns out to be a terrible wizard who comes to resent his hero dad is enough of a plot. Why throw in son of Voldemort, daughter of Voldemort new rues of time turners and all the other insanity.

>It literally reads like fan fiction
Cos it is
>I'm told the play works because it's well acted and the effects are amazing,
This desu acting and effects aren't what make it bad theres much more to it that makes it shit

7 part 1 was GOAT, though

i've literally never heard this opinion. everyone says part 2 was good and part 1 was filler shit.

There is a 100% chance of The Cursed Child being adapted into a movie. People like money and this would make huge amounts of it. Cast at least Daniel Radcliffe in the leading role and you have a billion dollars guaranteed.

It's a soulless cashin

Absolute pleb detected

7.1 is kinography

5 > 7.1 > 3 > 6 > 7.2 > 1 > 2 > 4

snape died dum dum

>what is reading comprehension
The crux of Cursed Child is a special Time-Turner
This is how Snape appears

People say it here all the time 7.1 is amazing. People hate that it has character development. I'm not that user. 3 6 7.1 were the best

Fantastic beasts was shittier than even the worst potter

Great rank senpai

Me its 3>7.1>6>5>7.2>1>2>4

No its worse than even the worst hp because rowling wrote a shitty script. The first half was great tho.

"character development"

you mean how ron regressed to even more of an asshole? this is how i know your opinion is shit

has better characters+acting by a mile
but harry potter has a better plot

because then people would complain that it was basically a slice of life story without any hint of "magic"

>Draco Malfoy's son is actually called the Scorpion King
I hope they get the rock to play him.

Shittier characters and acting than hp by a mile. Shit story. Utterly forgettable

Harry should have married Luna Lovegood, not Hermione.

Discuss.

Essentially this save for the plot part as both are terrible.

>he's a fucking ronfag
>he's mad at a faithful adaptation
>he actually watches for the plot
Rewatch them all pleb. The user is correct its GOAT

>missing the point
>forgetting that the Horcrux was corrupting them

Wrong as usual on Sup Forums

better than the potter movies. jacob losing his memories affected me way more than any of the potter movies tried to with their manipulative owl-killing and elf-slaughtering.

I thought Fantastic Beasts was going to be a trilogy, they're making five of them now?

>everything old is always better reeeeee

im guessing when the cursed child movie comes out you'll all start saying fantastic beasts is kino, then? it's so tiresome. literally every time a new potter movie came out this board shat on it until the next one hit theaters.

>People say it here all the time 7.1 is amazing
One autist that samefags from his phone all the time isn't people.

originally a trilogy, now a pentalogy.

first 3 movies (presumably) about newt, last 2 fully about grindelwald vs dumbledore

>>The insider also added that he expects the release date of the first movie to be in 2026,
>who apparently has good contacts in the film departments at Disney and Universal,
>Sup Forums will fall for this obvious bullshit

>first just a nice little one off
>then a trilogy
>now a pentalogy
when will kevin tsujihara memeppuku