40 DAYS without sex?! i'm pretty good at suspension of disbelief but come on!

40 DAYS without sex?! i'm pretty good at suspension of disbelief but come on!

Come on, it's not like we're talking about 40 days without Champagne!

sex or fapping

I've gone over a year.

I've gone my whole life

>approaching 30 without sex

Greatness awaits. Just one more year!

>implying being inside a vagina for 9 months doesnt count for anything

Haha great meme you guys. I'm really loving this image-board and the jokes you guys repeat on here!

nobody believes you fatty

You lack discipline, pussy.

Sure thing, tubs.

Turning 28 in April.


I can feel the magic building up inside.

>24 years
Six years until I get some sick spells

I don't like being called a liar, you fuckinng faggot.

XD

Then don't lie, butterball.

I'm not lying you peace of shit

21 here

Starting to feel the onset of hopelessness

>21
Brace yourself, it's only downhill from that point.

i'm 23 and haven't had sex in 3 years. what's worse, me or this guy ?

How do I become not like you?

Just don't think about it, Morty.

that guy
At least you had sex, you had a relationship (right?)

If you're like me you probably have missed some pretty good oportunities, well, don't. That's what I would tell 21 year old me, it doesn't matter the reason, seize the opportunity because you won't get many more, and time goes way faster than you think.
Please don't be like me.

>27
>Gone nearly 4 years without sex
JFMSA

If a girl ever gives you the slightest chance, take it.

Don't get me wrong, play your late-game cards right and you'll get laid sooner or later (a groomed and employed man start looking pretty good to a woman in her 40s), but if you want that sweet young wet cunt you gotta' play whatever hand your delt.

You were inside the uterus, and just passed through the vagina during your birth. It was rape you know.

been sexless for like 7 years now.
not been horny though which is strange(actually not since I just remembered I jack off a lot).

i wonder if my libido will return if i stop touching myself.

>mom didn't consent
>technically raped your mom

Freud knew.

23 years old hugless hand holdness kissless virgin.

gonna pay for an escort when im 30 years old if im still a virgin by then.

Don't do it user. Escorts are not the way to go for your first time.

in the movie he was able to wank it right? i haven't seen the movie in a while so i forgot.

i am a 30 year old virgin and have come to feel comfortable not getting any. all you really need is a 4k monitor and your hand. I don't regret ever getting laid. fucking an actual girl has risks (stds, baby, the girl accusing you of rape,ect)

Lost virginity at 21, fucked like crazy for a year and then nothing.

I'm 27 now, should I just kill myself?

regret never getting laid*

Yes, and the unfortunate side-effect of true love, mutual affection and lifelong companionship from another person who willingly spends time with you.

Wow, 3 whole weeks without sex?
That's incredible, haha :)

I haven't been blown since last night and already it's fucking with me

I've had between 10 and 20 escorts but done absolutely nothing with anyone else. I don't have friends so I didn't even have a chance at university

>having sex outside of marriage

Literally enjoy hell

I know people who unironically say shit like "I haven't get laid in like two days, I feel like shit"

Literally been 11 years to the day this past New Year's Eve. Get on my level.

Still better than never though

i dont get how you havent lost your virginty, i lost it at 16, and was basically doing everything but sex at 14/15 years old...

>true love, mutual affection and lifelong companionship from another person who willingly spends time with you
not him but you dont really believe this, right? i have sex pretty regularly so this isnt coming from a bitter virgin, "happily ever after" relationships are like 1 in 10 billion. you are much much more likely to get JUSTED

>being married

>99.99%

And isn't that 0.01 percent worth trying for user?

get a load of this normie

You can only get JUST'ed if you marry or knock her up.

The first one you have to agree to willingly, and the second one I am incapable of.

>be complete normalfag with friends and sex and a life
>compare yourself to autist who has never had a friend, has never gazed upon a female, and spends all of his time staring at walls because he dropped out of school a decade ago and never got a job
>want people to pity you while the autist doesn't want anyone's pity

I'm a virgin, so explain this to me. When you have sex for the first time, do you become addicted to it? Like, to the point where you need a fix ever 48 hours or so, or you'll go through some sort of sex-withdrawal?

>and the second one I am incapable of
based. i wish i could bust inside

No. I became much less attached to sex than I expected, my gf is usually actually much hornier than I am.

>Gf has an IUD
>Mfw cumming inside everytime
>Mfw she's arab so I refer to it as an IED and make terrorist jokes in the sack

women are only sex objects to me. i only need their physical appearance to drain my lizard. they have no purpose other than that

have you actually seen the iud in her pussy or did she tell you she had an iud? she's probably lying. women especially religious women cannot be trusted when it comes to birth control

Being able to dump massive loads of cum inside any skank I want with literal 0% chance of impregnation is pretty fun. I once had a girl call me claiming I was the father of her soon-to-be child.

I lead her on for 3 weeks letting her think I was totally going to take responsibility. Then, when the amount of bitching outweighed the amount of fun I was having, I just told her I was sterile and never talked to her again.

The reaction she had was priceless.

What does it feel like to cum deep inside a vagina?

What does it feel like to have your penis in a vagina at all?

>true love

I have bad news for you user. The chances of you finding a girl who won't bounce the minute you show a crack in your armor is so close to 0 that it might as well be 0

you've been sold a lie

Yeah dude I just used my cock camera.
Took some pngs.

I was with her at the hospital when she went in for it, and I can feel that it's there if I try to
Bag of sand
Honestly though I get more pleasure from cumming down her throat from a blowjob, that is the greatest feeling to me

true

women's love is different then what men consider love. and it's not unconditional

i guarantee i'm better looking than you (the reader of this post) but i'm also a kissless handholdless virgin

hope that makes you feel better you autistic faggot

I'm convinced that women are incapable of love, except towards their own offspring.

>get laid occasionally
>the moment I bust I start looking forward to the other person going home so I can watch anime and browse Sup Forums
Wish I was memeing but I'm not.

and that's probably not normally a problem but then guys like me who had shitty moms that didn't love them end up going out looking for a girl who will fill that void (not consciously obviously)

probably if you had a happy family and good parents you don't care so much about a woman loving you, you just want a woman to love yourself

that's my theory anyway but idk

>business goes under
>homeless
>have to begto get by
>sleep in a park
>have to cut back my mimosa brunches from weekly to monthly
It was terrible.

we all do your not special or different

Sorry you had a shitty mother user.

My mom is a saint and loves me, but you still get that void from knowing that no woman will ever love you for reasons other than being her son.

enjoy your aids

>Girlfriend going away for a year abroad for a university course
Should I just end it now because I know it'll end badly for me? I-I-I love her bros

I didn't have sex untill 22, 31 now with multiple exes, long term GF's, dozens of one night stands, mostly good looking as well but I can't lie i've taken down some big game.
Do what I did to get started and go ugly. Having the first notch on your belt makes all the difference.

Was it rape?

She's going to fuck foreign Chads.

Haha guys imagine if you fell for the epic meme jokes on Sup Forums and believed you were in good company as a pathetic loser who never got laid instead of what really happens which is
posting alongside based alpha bro Chads who get sucked and fucked LITERALLY on the reg!

Hello fellow good boys,
Sorry to interrupt your tendie meal and your hentai but this is an important matter. For too long our Step Chads have been trying to ruin our lives! They need to learn first and foremost that mummy belongs to us! We are her special big boy and it’s her privilege to make us tendies whenever we desire them. I don’t care if they are trying to have “quiet naked time”. When I let loose my battle cry (REEEeee) I expect that tendies go into the oven that instant and that a fresh 2L of mountain dew is cracked.
And another thing, I don’t know about you guys but I for one am sick of giving blowy joeys for GBP! I earn my GBP the honest way, by good old fashion poo poo jug disposal. Just like our fathers did before us. Step-Chad’s are the worst, once he even suggested I try some yukky veggies! And that bitch mummy thought it was a good idea!!

Any suggestions on how to deal with this problem? I think we need a united front to send a message to mummy’s and step-chad’s everywhere!

That feeling when no girlfriend

your right, im such a normie for wanting to fuck women

Just go and hire a fucking prostitute faggots. I hire one or two per week.

Don't you want your wizardhood?

Has anyone ever even actually seen this movie?

>tfw gay and got stood up on a date tonight
I want the gays have it easy meme to end. Sure I could go find someone to fuck in five minutes but that's no replacement for intimacy

yeah its a decent early 2000's movie with that one semi weird hot chick plus josh Hartnett. throw in mtv producing it. comedy gold