Character wakes up

>character wakes up
>doesn't pee in the sink

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> character wakes up
> connection error

you fucking disgusting animal
kill yourself

>character wakes up
>isn't depressed

>Character wakes up
>Doesn't immediately start sobbing because he didn't die in his sleep

the water washes it away

>character wakes up
>doesn't have a raging boner

>character wakes up
>Sup Forums is fucked up

>Character wakes up
>Doesn't immediately roll over and give his gf a kiss on her cute little nose so he can see her smile in her sleep

>character wakes up
>doesn't puke on his dick and start crying while jerking off and peeing himself

Same here.
The fuck is going on with this shit site anymore.

>character wakes up
>in the morning
Who does that?

>character brushes his teeth
>his gums don't start bleeding

when i brush my teeth it looks like the fucking boston bombing

This is all Hiro's fault

I want my money back

Pedophile space vampires bought the internet and are crashing it with no survivors because too many of us got woke after we bought water filters.

Are you me?

Also, manlet, so pissing in sink is more work than pissing in toilet. But I do neither, I just empty pissjug in shower.

I throw my pissjugs and pooptubes in the neighbor's yard now after I got caught hoarding them.

>Character doesnt have lumps below his armpits
>Character doesnt spend 30minutes In the bathroom every morning while giving a painful, loose stool

You would have two Muslim men in your mouth faggot kys

What the fuck is a pooptube?

>character wakes up
>doesn't grab a brush to put a little makeup

>character doesn't occasionally have small splotches of blood on the tp when he wipes and ignores it due to fear of it being a serious medical problem and hopes it goes away on it's own

>chracter is portrayed in a leisure scene, but he's wearing socks and pants

A drunk dude punched me in the face when I delivered pizza to him 6 years ago. I told him he hit like a girl. In another 4 years, I'm gonna take a pissjug I filled that week, place it on his mustang, poke a hole in bottom of jug with nail, and position it for maximum coverage, then flee.

It's like a poopsock, but you use piece of pvc piping with one end capped off.

>character gets punched in the face
>wipes blood from the corner of his mouth with his finger
>smirks nonchalantly
>you hit like a girl

Kek, I do it in front of my gf and she's completely fine with it, because she sympathizes with the plight of the 21st century man.

The patrician fecal disposal device.

enjoy your cancer

>tfw tried to fill one of the plastic ones with a really gassy diarrhea shit and the air pushed back out of the seal I had made and blew out my O ring

>you bleed like one :^)

these honestly.

That seems like an awful long wait just for that level of revenge. You should wait until it's really hot out and put slices of bologna on his car all over. As they dry when he gets up to get in his car the next day he'll try to peel them off and they will strip the paint off the car with the pieces of bologna.

I'm a vegetarian.

...

You don't gotta eat it bro. It's purely for revenge purposes and it only will run you like $2.

>character doesn't have night terrors every other night that makes him wake up screaming and crying

Full story please.
I bet you were being a little bitch.

>wakes up
>5 seconds later gets straight out of bed
takes me like 10 minutes to wake up enough to get out of bed, you cant tell me people get out of bed the second they wake up

>single male's bed is neatly made and no evidence of cum stained tissues

>pee in the sink

>Not pushing your shits down until they are a stiff compact single log in the tube, cutting it open so you can get it out, slicing the shitlog into discs, microwaving them until they flatten and crisp, then driving a few hours away and handing them out to hipsters saying they are "organic cookies"

...

>not shitting your nasty, rancid shits into hipsters' composts piles and fucking ruining them from all the heavy metals, mildly radioactive and extremely processed garbage you eat

...

Hey, that's a pretty good idea.

Does your fat filthy pig gf piss in the sink after you or before?

Kek, faggot, mad I have a gf

What's it like in the stone ages, philistine? Sink pissing is the most comfortable way you can possibly take a piss. It's right at dick height so you can just flop it out and go hands free. The distance and angle from your dick to the sink basin is also very shallow, and as such avoids getting piss all over the place, unlike toilet pissing where splashback coats your leghairs in piss. Furthermore, you save water, effort bending over and lifting the toilet seat, effort flushing, and the time it takes to walk over to the toilet and back to the sink to wash your hands since you're at the sink anyway. You can even do other things while pissing in the sink, like brushing your teeth or washing your face! Sink pissing is the way of the future.

>he doesn't pee out his window

Sup Forums has seen better days

9/10

>character try's to quit job
>are you sure you want to quit? All unsaved progress since your last checkpoint will be lost

I'm so glad it's back so we can see quality posts like these.

The copper grid in my sink has turned blue due to the many reactions with ammonia

...

Protip: You can clean that with ketchup. Seriously, it works, just rub the ketchup on it with a rag and buff it like you would silver. It will look shiny as fuck and ready to be blasted with piss like a ten dollar hooker's face.

...

I was waiting to be able to post again just so I could say:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

>bologna only costs $2 in Americaland
Lucky sons of bitches

Hell yeah, it's poor people food.

>doesn't keep a piss jar beside the bed

>character wakes up
>takes shower
>doesn't shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain

youtube.com/watch?v=HFzTm6fy_zs

Truly the best pepe.

How much is bologna where you are?

>he's never been to boot camp

Home made soap

>Soaping yourself with shitcookies

You goddamn hippies.