How would you make a Byzantine empire film?

How would you make a Byzantine empire film?

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_of_the_Latins
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God willingly

I would hire some actors
Actors recite lines
I get it all on tape

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Probably a movie about Vikings coming to rich Constantinople to be in the varangian guard. Antics ensue, Vikings get bribed to kill the emperor, but their leader widens up and learns that there's more to service than money and becomes loyal to the emperor, killing his rival Viking that plots to assassinate the emperor for money.
Thoughts? Casting?

all black women of course

fuck Orthodox they are worse than mormons

I'd thought of something similar, a buddy cop-style comedy about Swedes in the Guard running wild in Constantinople and causing their commander all kinds of headaches.


I think we need more historical comedies, sue me.

just make it into ROMantic drama about Greek and Muslim soldier falling in love and having to spend time together fucking each other in some Caucasian mountain cave, a TRUE STORY how love and shared interests in goats can make former enemies into lovers, BASED ON HISTORICAL TRUE EVENTS

It's gonna be raining Oscars once you add in some WeWazKangz from southern Nubia and a few Asian travellers with explosive rockets + deep philosophical shit and throw in the weird side plot about lesbian Syrian refugees lovers set in the 11th century

I won't. I love that shit, A Knight's Tale is very kino. I grow bored of the grimy, "brutal lel", historical movies.

Cast all the characters with black actors

Theodora's life. I'm honestly surprised why anyone hasn't done it yet, it has it all - strong womyn, religious fanaticism, great characters of Justinian and his court. Though I'm sure Hollywood would fuck it up, granting Theodora some kind of modern democratic mindset in early middle ages

I would cast Joaquin Phoenix, great actor and he has the right look for him to play someone in a Byzantine movie. I would have him be Justinian

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She would also be black

at least Orthodox Christians don't proselytize

t. Catholicshitter

A movie about Heraclius would be pretty cool.

>Byzantium crumbling thanks to a corrupt Emperor and Persian invasion
>Heraclius takes power in a dramatic coup d'etat
>meltis down the church silver to fund the war
>trains his army while fighting the Persians at the same time
>kills a Persian general in single combat
>instead of trying to defend the empire, he launches an all-or-nothing invasion of Persia
>wins the war
>recovers the true cross and brings it back to Jerusalem
>slowly begins to go in sane
>the movie ends with the Muslim Arabs invading and destroying everything he worked so hard to save

That last part makes it "topical". Critics will love it.

Downfall 1453 edition

why not DDL? i think you can make him more greeky with make up

make sure to hire POC, byzantines were NOT white

Well do you consider olive mediterraneans to be white

They already did that. It was the most expensive Turkish movie of all time.

>Byzantines are all blonde-haired, blue-eyed people who party and the women wear miniskirts
>Ottomans are all good Muslims who dindu nuffin
>movie ends with Mehmed marching into Constantinople and the people welcoming him

I don't know if DDL would accept the role, plus Phoenix has that Mediterranean look down

It makes me depressed that the only historical movies we get are about the holocaust and WWII

>muh olive skin
nordics are as tan as mexicans

After the fall of Constantinople, Moscow became the third Rome and the major center of Orthodox Christianity.

that "movie" was utter shit that my brain still refuses to categorize it as a "movie" so I forgot that I even watched it

A Byzantine Empire movie is never going to be made as, unlike Rome, most normies don't know what the BE was and any attempt at showing one of the frequent conflicts the empire had with its Muslim neighbors would be declared racist.

If such a movie could be made, however, I'd make it a detective thriller in which a Constantinople garrison commander must investigate the murder of a courtier in the Emperor's court. He could delve into all the intrigues and backstabbing that was so common in the Byzantine court and showcase the intricacies of the empire's internal politics and religions. Eventually the murderer would be revealed to be another courtier who ultimately has plans to assassinate the emperor himself.

make it about belisarius and testing his friendship with a distant emperor when betrayal is practically expected

Porn film about Theodora starring Eva Green

I'd watch a buddy movie between a Byzantine soldier and a Seljuk/Ottoman Turk trying to survive together in Anatolia.
Jack Black as Alexios Komnenos

Like HBO series Rome

This guy gets it

Who /his/ here?

Nobody would make it because nobody in the West knows what the Byzantine Empire was desu.

I would make it about the Nika riots

or alternatively about the 4th crusade painting the venetians as the turbojews that they were

BYZANTINE POWER
SERB + GREEK + BULGARIA = BROTHERS

>we need more historical comedies
this. i really liked love & friendship last year.

Eva Green as Theodora would be the greatest casting of the decade.

>the "Deus Vult" Sup Forumstards who fantasise about the Crusaders are the same people who idolise Russia

Historical illiteracy is real.

Make it about Komnenoi or the Makedon dynasty. Or make it about Justinian II, his story is pretty interesting.

>no one mentions Sup Forums
>REEEE Sup Forums!!!!!!!
how fucking paranoid are you

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Lots of cool byzantine music.

youtube.com/watch?v=4Q8i0CYs-CM

youtube.com/watch?v=PhVQ9S5uCh8

this bitch and her religion shit trying to take over my civ

This triggers the Byzaboos

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>but nothing can brach the walls of Constantinople
>Doge will brach it

The Secret History would make a great TV series. It has like 4-5 seasons of material if you expand on it a little.

TURK KINO

I cast retards to play retards who fuck up their country

pay denbts

They already made a film though.

Either a movie about Justinian I or Alexios I.

I don't think I could watch a Constantine XI movie, I don't want to feel those feels.

Frankly though, I'd much rather have an HBO drama, possibly in the same vein as ROME.

I'd adapt The Secret History by Procopius

Underrated.

youtube.com/watch?v=IXTN2kv29GA

This would be so sick. Though the Ben hur remake flop has probably ensured anything with "ancient horse races" in it will forever never get made.

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That might have actually been the worst movie I've ever seen. The sheer level of revisionism is unreal, not to mention the writing/acting is shit. Imagine if Hollywood made a movie called "Wounded Knee", only it's about evil indians (who look and dress like Arabs for some reason) attacking innocent American villagers and the acting is about as good as your typical high school play. That's the level of retardation "Istanbul 1453" was operating on.

The fact that they show it to Turkish kids in school just makes it depressing.

Nice


Also I dunno. I'd probably make it about the Ottomans conquering it. Either that or a story about Justinian.

Idris Elba and Ice Cube.

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I think the Crusaders and the Venetians had every right to get some revenge on the dirty Greeks.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_of_the_Latins

Try not to talk too much about historical illiteracy m8.

We laugh, but sooner or later this is going to happen in Spain after El Clasico

Hamilton but for a Byzantine guy.

imagine trying this hard to be funny

As part one of a Trilogy
1 The Fall of Constantinople
2. The Second Crusade
3. The Siege of Vienna
Film in Eastern Europe, Use CGI only for cleanup, make use of local extras for big battles.

it was literally "they took our jobs" durka derr fuelled genocide of foreign population in Constantinople
>BUY ONLY FROM GREKOI
>SLAUGHTER THE FOREIGN MERCHANTS

and it has not been the first time that the mobs of Constantinople went berserk

it's almost as if masses of stupid people do stupid stuff regardless of which century it is or where they are living or whatever their culture or language is

>period correct equipment and tactics
>fucking sweet frankish cavalry
>the filth and squalor of siege conditions
>honest cries of god wills it
>Based Tancred and Baldwin
>Richard and Saladin
>Baibars like a boss
>organizing and departing of the crusade
>scheming byzantines and venetians
>war in the holy land
>last days of rome in acre

>Byzantium
>A multicultural society with black, east-asian, indian and middle eastern politicians.
>happy and rich society where homosexuality is accepted
>Dumb emperor, but luckily he's married to a very smart woman who does the actual ruling
>Dumb emperor gets betrayed by the evil and completely white homogeneous Venice and France
>Invasion of Constantinopel and the complete slaughter of its citizens
>Fierce resistance of an underground rebel network
>Wife of one of the french counts falls in love with an african rebel and starts an affair
>she convinces her husband to seek a peaceful solution

desu Shakespeare is great for that, Kenneth Branagh made a comedy or two in the nineties. But it doesn't have to be Shakespeare although it's not unheard of to take the general plot of a Shakespear play and to change the time period and characters a little.

the pope, the literal most important person in a crusade, ordered the crusaders not to raise their hand against a fellow christian. the crusaders (or actually the venetians) ignored that order because they valued money over religion

>"damn it Sven this is the fifth time this month you've been caught fighting with Olaf in the 'drome. When is this shit gonna stop?"
>when i get paid Chief
>"Get out of my damn office, you're finished in this department. You're a loose cannon."

>GIMME YOU AXE!
>...And your other axe

Your a big empire

Like Vikings, but about Justinian's regime.