How long, Sup Forums?

how long, Sup Forums?

10 years

21 (I'm 21 btw)

Since Saturday.

Last September.

I've got a couple of chronic illnesses though. No woman wants to touch a leper.

52yo high level wizard here. I've pretty much settled on the fact I will never get laid.

2011

got in bed with a girl again in 2013 but couldnt get hard so i dont count it

again in 2015 with a girl touching my dick

nothing since then

9 years

getting laid is easy, just hire a prostitute; it's the love and acceptance that's difficult

Lmao, I'm asexual and lost my virginity at 16.
It isn't that hard lads.

Lost it 4 months ago when I was still 23. Feels good to not have to worry about being a virgin.

>asexual
>sexually active at a normal age

kys

17. (no i'm not underage, I'm 25 but that's when)

Almost 33 and I have never had anything that could, in any way, shape, manner or form, be meaningfully construed as "intercourse with a woman". no vaginal, oral, anal, frotting, etc. I did kiss one or two girls around late middle school/early high school though, and I think I might have randomly groped a tit while drunk at a wedding dance about four years ago. I have also never really, properly "made out" with any female ever, I know that.

But by r9k standards (some of the above already damns me), I'm a full normie: at age 20 I had a summer of furtive gay sex with a guy I met online, and I sort of enjoyed myself, but he was a sperg, his personality grated on me after a while, and he admitted to cheating on me, and I was broke so I had to ditch him. A decade-long chasm of zero sexual activity follows, and later (again, about four years ago) I persuade another man to try giving me a handjob, but I can't get hard so I call it off and he's a gentleman about it.

I never came out at the old workplace (for what purpose?), and now I'm old enough that at the current workplace, most co-workers are parents. I amuse myself with drinking and geography quizzes. I have become nihilistic.

Well at that age everyone was ranting and raving about it.
So y'know, a guy gets curious.
Turned out to not be that big of a deal, as I expected.

12 more years

Based homo. Boy love is truly the patrician choice

I've got you beat by 2 years.
>why live

How did you get an erection to fuck her?
I thought asexuals had no sexual desire

Asexuals still respond to stimulation, it's just that we're not that into it, mentally.
I've been bored every time I've had sex.
Apparently it takes us longer to cum, probably because we're not 'into it'.
If I had a choice between a walk in the moors and sex, I'd choose the walk.

Lost it at 20

been sexless for 3 years now
You're not asexual you're just an underachiever when it comes to women, lmao. You're incapable of getting women who are actually stimulating to you. You probably burned yourself out on porn. LOL ASEXUALS

17 suckers

Mate you know nothing about me, I don't even watch porn.
Underachiever with women? Pff.
I've had three past girlfriends, pretty normal.

Your attempts at redefining my sexuality so that it makes sense to you are pathetic.
Get an imagination mate..

9 more, but im thinking about prostitute when i will have some money

Its ridiculous how much this movie haunts me

asexual is just a word for unknowingly closeted homos

You have a mental illness

24 year old here
Do they actually feel like bags of sand?

21 year old KV

Might travel to Europe someday and get a licensed courtesan

A month :\

No, like your chest but with an ass cheek between the muscle and skin.

1 year in April.

I decided to stop slutting it up with girls I couldn't care less about and start trying to into relationship.

It has not gone well

8 years.

...

being gay is hard sure getting laid is easy but love isn't there...

>tfw no qt skinny nerd Sup Forums bf
>ywn cuddle and banepost while nuzzling him
>ywn be his big guy

3 months (dated for 9)
We broke up because I wasn't writing and she was spending all of her free time in my bed, both of us not giving a fuck about anything else

I grew up on /r9k/ (9 years ago) so you can guess how jarring it was just to have had her. She paid for everything too, I was on some Basquiat shit

They are really really soft with a touch of tissue underneath. At least my GF feels like that but she has big titties so maybe it's a big tit thing. They are also heavy and are super bouncy. I actually some times feel bad cause of future back problems and if I ever knock her up they are going to get even bigger. She's also only 4'11.....

it's the whole "caring enough to bother" part
seems pointless desu

Boy I sure do like /tv9k/

Oh
And I'm 22 lost it at 18 to this gorgeous crazy actress that is also the greatest songwriting partner I've ever had but is literally on some girl, interrupted shit

Had a few hookups over the years since then, last one in 2015 was the only good one since we were literally throwing each other around every corner of a bedroom

She's "gay" now tho

I actually am bisexual though, which is the further absurdity/sadness. I have masturbated to images of women on a daily basis since before puberty through the present, with the odd dude-change-up to keep things "fun".

Something that helps is that the older I get, the more buzzings I hear from divorced male co-workers and such, which just reinforces to me that my parents' happy marriage is a happy accident, if not an aberration. People get old and busted and they still, /still/ think that they can do better than each other, when what they should really be doing is to lie down peaceably together and make ready to die alone, next to each other (everybody dies alone, but dying alone next to someone may help a bit).

I'll be dead before I reach that

Already happened

>August 2016

22
>am 22

I'm in the tenth year without sex. I had a gf in my teen years, she dumped me, I became insane and never had the effort to pursuit a relationship again.
I'm beyond redemption in therms of having a familiy.

Almost...there...

Oh it is pointless mate.
Still worth getting out of the way I guess, cos you never know.

Are you guys obscenely ugly or just obscenely autistic?

14 more years

god she's ugly.Can she even smell from that thing?

...

a few months away from attaining wizardhood

I figure I can be much happier completely ignoring women

11 more years

i kinda gave up after this faggot coworker of mine hit on this girl i went on one date with to only have to have surgery and be out of commission for 3 weeks

come back to find him being a little shit, i dont rate myself highly, but holy fuck he has such a fivehead i dont even understand anymore
i know its personality but jesus christ, id rather just sit inside now than waste time swinging for the fences

heh

Couldn't we all? But kids.

Don't worry, user. I'll knock her up for you

>implying she would fuck you

Nice try Virgin

I mean, 11 more years to 40
so, less than a year to be a wizard

Just end me

I made it to 27, girl was 20 and pretty cute too. Will never be a wizard now, kinda depressing.