Where would you like to sit sir?

>where would you like to sit sir?

F15

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>No option for top of the stairs

I'm going to a different cinema next time

J17

I'll take to the balcony to get a better view of the child's playplace

J13 and wifey by my side

F16 and I'll accidently drink your coke and eat your popcorn

Shouldn't J14 be pre-reserved for the intermission hand puppeteer?

E15 and I'm 6'2

J15 maybe I'll share some of my beer with your wifey

What about her son?

At home watching torrents because I'm a gay ass NEETfaggot with no friends or money.

E15, kicking your seat

J01

Uh, you don't get to bring friends

J30 please

I15 so I can play with 's feet

B6

Sunk my Battleship

a couple seats in from the aisle.

I like to sit close to peripheries.

J13 for me and J12 - J11 for my wife and Jamal

j 15 because i'll be safe if there's another cinema shooting

>not J16
I like to see the plebs in their scum below me when i see movies too

J30 because that's where the falcon stand is.

already taken faggot go find another user to cuck

Wtf, nobody wants to sit RIGHT NEXT to the falcon stand, it smells like bird shit and you get feathers in your popcorn

Ideally H16, but it's not like im allowed in the screening rooms. Im serving a lifelong sentence if hard labor in the theater salt mines for failling the penis inspection 4 times in a row.

I'd buy a ticket for J01, then sit in F15 and you wouldn't say shit to me because I'm black.

G16 please sir

Could I also order some crab legs?

B15 because I don't need my neck anyway

E15

I like to be overwhelmed by the screen.

Here is your seat sir : youtu.be/JBx-vydxfKU

>tfw someone else books the tickets
>it's a J
>The binoculars aren't inclusive
It sounds like a meme but this shit actually happened to me at a gay ass musical.
Muhfugginass selling you a trash-tier seat, then charging you extra to actually see the goddamn thing.
It's fucking real life DLC. What next, they build an expansion so you get to be charged a telescope?
Book your seat, which is in your house, so you can pay-per-view a livestream?
C'mon dude man, that's some hot bullshit.

~£50 ticket, £1 binoculars.
I don't care, it's the principle.
If a seat requires binoculars, don't fucking build it.
And certainly don't charge people to see the stage.

>Implying I paid the £1
No. Fucking Jews and their money grubbing schemes.
It was The Lion King at the Lyceum Theater in London, avoid it like the plague.

...

So even seat-numbering is ass-backwards in America? Go figure...

"E16 through G14 are reserved sir."

G23

What kind of absolute cuck would even consider sitting in the fucking corner?

JO1 because movie is shit and i need my cock sucked

if you arent buying a ticket in the rear of the mid then you are a pleb

HOLY SHIT

holy shit!

C29

holy shit thanks kek

...

B9
I like to make jokes about what's going on on the screen loudly, and then turn around to say "am I right?". I'm local cinema joker, everybody loves me

>local cinema joker
Where would we be without the occasional cinema shoot-up to thin the herd