Hey Sup Forums, can you help me tidy up my suicide plan? I know that the best and most painless way is with Helium...

Hey Sup Forums, can you help me tidy up my suicide plan? I know that the best and most painless way is with Helium, but my purchases are monitored and I'd like to be able to do it with non-suspicious at-home items. Here's what I've got:

Part 1
>Effective immediately
>No water or food intake, with use of chapstick to make it less uncomfortable

Part 2
>Week or so after Part 1, ~Midnight
>Take a bottle of Ibuprofen and down every pill (I'd estimate there's over 100 200mg pills inside still)

Part 3
>As soon as the effects of Ibuprofen kick in
>Stab self in stomach with a sharp knife 1-3 timesin bed, try to pass out

Do you guys think this is an okay plan? If not, how could it be better?

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It's a shit plan and will be hella painful.
Just neck yourself, it's quick, easy, and painless.

a length of rope is cheap and not suspicious.

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Ah yes, but you miss two key things.
>245lb loser
>No reliable ceiling fan that can support point 1

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eat a fuckton of tylenol. not suspicious at all, everyone takes it. guaranteed to kill you. horrible, painful death, only to be revived in the hospital with your liver completely destroyed. now you get to die a horrible, painful death again, with plenty of time to regret eating all those pills.

do not be a pussy just jump off a tall building there you go. PAINLESS!

>walk out side. find somthing more than 8 feet off the ground
>attach neck to object via rope
>jump nigger
>neck should break before object or rope
>shit pants
>profit

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Meh, I'm looking for a more permanent approach.
I'd love to, but I live in a small town and we don't have many over a story high.

Drano and bath essence that contains Sulfur. Mix well in sealed car. Hydrogen sulfide gas.

Go out of town?

For fucks sake,you are planning to kill yourself,details are irrelevant

that totally doesnt sound painful at all.
it would be less painful to lose your fat and do something

Dry ice

This is cowardly.

The real trick is to larp as your political enemies for a year or so then commit a mass shooting with those beliefs as a clear motive.

trees work well. people been hanging niggers from those for decades, cealing fans are non commital faggots who cant be anhero to us all

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my name is user and i approve this message

Become an alcoholic. Smoke tons of cigarettes. It's slower, but the stroke and heart attack should be fairly painless.

It's down the street not across the street attention fagget

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Instead of killing yourself, live and strive!
oh and pls send me some money for this attempt at saving your life, im so poor and fucked. I will now use pictures from a family-friendly video of couple of guys who love cats so everybody knows its me!

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Use dry ice!!! You can make it yourself with a CO2 fire extinguisher and you´ll sleep in and suffocate without realizing a thing

punch hole in cealing find crossbeam, hang self from cross beam. shit will hold. p.s. you have to jump and not let yourself ease into the noose... hanging aint no fun if your alive unless you tryna jerk it while you go...

stop it john. what would yo mama think about this

The final faptier..

reported to FBI. Have fun at your next suicide prevention meeting faggot.

How much dosage will cause immediate unconsciousness? The idea's good but I want to avoid any symptoms I can.

man I may be a half-cripple in severe physical pain but at least I'm not in this fucker's shoes anymore LMAO

Won't this cause Carbon Asphyxiation?

However, if you do kill yourself, I'll make a nice lil' mini shrine for you from the money, every hero needs a statue. You will be remembered more than any of your former friends, that's for sure.

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OD on sleeping pills job done

Use dry ice!!! You can make it yourself with a CO2 fire extinguisher and you´ll sleep in and suffocate without realizing a thing

Ok boomer

> wants to kill self
>is giant faggot and makes 3 part plan that takes like 2 weeks
>is happy for 1 day, eats anything, drinks anythin, anyone actually pays attention tho them for 5 minutes.... plan fails
this my fellow Sup Forumstards is how not to plan a scuiside...

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Post pic of your dick, don't kill yourself!

Down a bottle of aspirin and stab your femoral artery. It'll be painful but you'll black out it seconds and you'll be dead of blood loss long before the ambulance arrives.
Also don't fucking do it, I tried to kill myself 3 years ago and once it was all over and I left the hospital I regretted doing it.