Three page essay due tonight

>Three page essay due tonight
>tfw haven't even started
I fucking hate myself bros

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get started now : )

kik?

it might be ok sometimes graders don't give a shit about grades towards the end of semester, and once you start it will probably put you in a mode to complete it

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bioshocke infinite

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I don't have one

I like how someone decided to post this for some reason.

Have any money? I'm a published author, which mean (a) I am intelligent, literate, and well-read, and capable of churning out three pages in my sleep, and (b) I am desperately poor. Paypal me some money and I'll write your paper.

> Paypal me some money and I'll write your paper

more like rob you high and dry out of 5-10 dollars

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Professional rate is 5 cents a word. It'll be a lot more than "five or ten dollars." And I've been writing custom erotica for more than 20 years, so I'm trustworthy.

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>3 pages
are you in fucking middle school? kek

Wait are you actually brain dead or just have an under developed, underage brain? I wrote 18 pages in one night before finals three days ago. 3 pages is one fucking stream of thought. How could you possibly be struggling right now?

what's it on?

>I've been writing custom erotica for more than 20 years
One of the least trustworthy things I've ever read

> : )
I like how someone decided to post this for some reason
>kek
This thread fucking stinks of newfags. Is the front page of the internet down for maintenance or something?

OK Zoomer. So edgy. I'll bet you're the hippest kid in middle school.

I'm 34 you furry fanfiction writing faggot

I agree, OP is a tard.

you know, except for the fact that kek originated on Sup Forums you cancerous post-2012 fuck

> > : )

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How about you take the motivation you put into making this post and think about what you need to do to write your paper homie

imagine being proud of being 34

Three pages? You can bang that out in a few hours easy. underaged banned, gtfo an do your homework.

I don't actually do much furry. Most of my commissions over the years have been size fetish, breast expansion, age regression/accession, snuffcan, transformation, and mind control.

Imagine being ashamed of your age, regardless of what it is.

That's not what being a published author is. That's what being a DeviantArt regular is.

It's probably double spaced too. High school and college essays are being easy

I'm professionally published too, you giant throbbing brain, you. The two are not mutually exclusive. Almost no one makes a living from publishing fiction in these post-literate days, so most writers have side jobs. I take in custom erotica, technical writing, and other piecework to pay the rent.

Yeah, what have you published?

Also, if you were any good you wouldn't be fucking broke nigger.

>haven't even started
frog poster problems

Is this a bait thread? If OP wanted to finish his 5th grade essay, he would be doing it instead of arguing.

Ah, Dunning-Kruger, we meet again. You speak with confidence on the state of publishing born of your many hours spent looking at amateur pr0n on Sup Forums.

As it happens, I'm guessing you're unaware that less than 0.1% of the people who claim "writer" as their profession on the census actually make a full-time living at it. I am professionally published as both a writer of Lovecraftian horror fiction and a print journalist.

>0.1% of writers are legitimate professionals
That makes sense.

Show us literally one thing you have published, with proof it was you.

Yes, I would love to out myself to a bunch of sociopathic, mouth-breathing teenyboppers on a forum frequented by alphabet agencies! Are you for real?

It would have been easier to type I'm lying.

Wrote ten pages in a night. You can do it, faggot. Get the fuck off Sup Forums and focus.

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What's the prompt/assignment?

Alright, you've got your quota of (you)s. You can shove off now. OP, if you want to commission me let me know and give me an email address where I can contact you. My rate is 5 cents a word. Three pages, single spaced, is about 1500 words. That works out to $75 USD.

I'm not cheap, but I'm fast, reliable, and professional.

>o-op here, t-thanks for the offer, I guess I will need to accept considering h-how reliable and cheap you are...
> y-you can email me here: [email protected]

"Sakura the vermillion fox with delicate black fringe gently probed her mate's rectum with his forefinger, widening the orifice delicately to make way for his silky tongue to protude through it, sending a wave of pleasure through Iron Sonic 2000's half dire wolf, half reptilian body"

A sample of user's work.

truly the Shakespeare of our time.

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>>Published Author
>>Someone else proofread your work
>>Intelligent, literate, and well-read, and capable

I love it

Tell us more about this custom erotica

OP here, I finished 2.5 pages before I had to submit it so at least I'll get some credit

thank you for all the words of encouragement friends ;)