Hai, anonamouse!

Hai, anonamouse!

How often do you think about suicide?

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frequently. but too many people would be happy to see me dead and I want to annoy them by simply staying alive.

Don't you have little who love you?

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Back in and after 2008. Alot. Daily maybe. I was 30lbs overweight and gaining. I topped out at 260lbs. Single. Jobless. 20. And living with Mom n dad. Went to prison in 2010 for some shit I couldn't prove I was innocent of. Got home in 2016. Still with suicidal thoughts. Found a decent job. I'm an A&P mechanic. Dated a girl for 3 months . Told her of my past. Her last words to me "get of of my house. And if you kill yourself I would make this world a better place. I had the keys to a plane I was going to steal and divebomb a field when a random girl hollered at me from across the fence. She had a flat tire and wanted help. Ok fine. One last good deed. I helped her. She made me go to Wendy's with her that was 3 blocks away. That was in February of 2018. I am now married to her and we closed last month on a 3bed-2bath house. I've never told her how she saved my life. I just love her that much more Everytime I think of this.

I don't have anyone who loves me, just some people who can tolerate me. And some people who are dependent on me (but no love involved).

Would you love me?

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Depends on who you are and where you are. And if there is a little bit of love left in that black clump I have for a heart.

I only think of cooming. It has been three days since my last.

ies

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first time?

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Fairly often as of New Years preparations.

I have a best friend who's brother killed himself and a single mom who loves me,

I still think of suicide daily though, they;re the only two things in the world stopping me

>first time?
No, I have some ruined relationships under my belt. I'm way older than you might think.

>> 817566814
I got used to feeling like a piece of shit from my classmates
take it easy

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Every day I meditate on every gruesome way I can conceivable meet my end, including various methods of suicide.

I've come to terms with death doing so. Been suicidal in the past, changed mindset, life is VERY short, you will NEVER get this particular day back. Make the most of it. Momento Mori, remember death, but also that you dont need to be in a rush to die. Its inevitable part of life.

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>classmates
Ah, yes. School was hell, too. I was always on neutral grounds between different groups. But that is decades in the past.

This.

Think of a medic on a battlefield, getting shot at by all conflict parties.

I think I could warm your heart.
Start off cuddling and hugging

Everyone likes hugs!

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im still passing througth this so i need to wait

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though i have a bunch of codeine and i've been debating a lot recently about od'ing

Why do you torture yourself so?

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Every now and again. Maybe once every two months. Possibly more, possibly less.
I try not to pay it much thought, figure I'm gonna die eventually anyways

Yaay!

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A few times per day. It comforting to know that you can end it all if you can't take it anymore

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>How often do you think of suicide

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NOW kiss

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I'm sure, you are so far away, we would never met. And you would regret your offer when you'd see me.

ODing is a bad way to go, user
Your body likes to take care of itself and whenever it feels threatened by dangerous substances it will do anything it can to cleanse itself
You don't want to wake up in a pool of your own vomit feeling terribly sick!

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Depends on what I’m going through. Sometimes I’ll be happy and just wanna end it. Already have my plan so my family won’t find me and I’ll end up a missing person on the east coasts and a John Doe on the west

i dont think so

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I don't think codeine alone will do it, bro

Hugs aren't bad. And I doubt anybody would get a boner hugging me. Maybe if that'd be a fear reaction, dunno.

Hahaa, I have never dressed up as a girl before!
How exciting..

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What weighs heavy on your soul, anonamouse?

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It's the only way i have to end my life at this moment in time, plus passing out on codeine is easy

Hmmm.. I like kissess..

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you never know, wanna a virtual hug to try?

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You like old men from the north?

Best friend offed himself in november
I'm only not following him because of my family
I hope to see him soon in hell

Ontario :p?

Why would you say that?
How have you seduced your other lovers?
Surely you are attractive in a way

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I'd hug you if you need one; regardless of what you are. I'd prefer though some hygienic standards.

No. 30km south of Denmark in ancient Anglia.

Feel empty most of the time. I study but having a hard time focusing and most of the time I just wanna get home and lie in bed. Also, my brother is suicidal and has tried it before. Most nights I dream that he will do it and I run around our old neighborhood trying to find him and stop him. I never make it in the dream

I like the feeling of my coom better when I wait a few days.

>checked

Like Rödby/Puttgarden?

They were in trouble and they'd seen something in me that wasn't the truth. They got disappointed and left.

me too user, me too

here's one muack

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I don't want to encourage taking your life but there are ways accessibly to almost anyone that are better than an overdose.
Hanging, if done right or jumping from a great height are both more effective ways to go.

Here you can find some info (and some help to overcome your problems): lostallhope.com
Please do try to talk to someone about your feelings user!
I would be sad to see your beautiful potential be lost

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Dynamic IPs are wide spread here. But it's in the same province.

first time it's special not gonna lie

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...

Me too, but I just can't control myself..
How do you do it!!

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Play video games for three days in a row, or think of vagina because am gay

When did you last not feel empty?
Do you have people you can be truly comfortable with?

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uhum

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Everyday. Im in my 20s with kidney and prostate problems from drug abuse. Been clean a year but only getting worse. Kept it secret from everybody and I wouldn't mind shooting myself but am only child don't want to make my mother sad.

Ahh.. that's so nice..

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just a quick one

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Do you like... vikings?

I'm not really sure. I'm here a lot, so it gets pretty hard. What do you usually coom to?

*Hug*

Everyone builds a different version of you in their heads, who's to say what the truth is. They wouldn't have seen certain properties of you if they weren't really there. None of us are perfect human beings and none of us are a perfect match for anyone.

When's the last time you've taken time to appreciate yourself?
Could you list some things you like about yourself for me?

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literally never

>vikings
gets a bonner ups*

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Don't kys yet, okay?
Please try everything you can to help yourself before you give up!

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How did it feel?
Do you have pics? :)

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>vikings
its a good show

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DICKSDICKSDICKSDICKS!

Pornography, heh.. I like my imagination better but that can take so much effort

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>When's the last time you've taken time to appreciate yourself?
I have no real concept of appreciation myself. Just keep myself going on like getting my hair cut today, if that counts.
>Could you list some things you like about yourself for me?
I try to be nice to everyone who deserves to be treated nicely. It feels fake as fuck but at least I try.

proud u like it

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psycho

>its a good show
Haha, good reply! And, yes, history mixed with some fantasy and nicely done.

Wow user! I'm so proud of you!
That must be so difficult to stay clean

Can you really not talk to it about your mom? People are usually more understanding than you think. I think she would be sad but also really supportive, don't you?

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every day when I wake up and go to bed and atleast 3 times throughout the day on a good day. I deserve it though I am unemployed human scum living with my parents

Kek.

N-no u

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save myself again

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It's good that you try!
When you look at this list ideonomy.mit.edu/essays/traits.html
Give me 5 positive traits that fit you and tell me why they fit you

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Save from me? I can only pursue you in your dreams. But that's your mind and your rules.

just one little kiss? okay

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I bet you practiced on ur pillow a lot you sissy boy

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What do you dream of to do with your life if there were no limits?

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I'm going to dream about someone hugging me on the other side of the monitor

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Hehehe, you want more do you?
What if I kissed you on your bare chest, hmm?
I'd have to undress you first though

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you caught me!
don't tell anyone please

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>Adaptable
Survived so far
>Anticipative
Don't like tumbling into situations
>Appreciative
I value everything somebody does for me (even if it fails)
>Contemplative
Tend to overthink everything
>Dutiful
I fullfill my promises. Even if it took 15 years to live with a person I loved at first and then pitied. Retrospectively idiotic.

There were more on that list but they not all exactly positive traits when looked at closely.

Don't bite the pillow!
If you use your teeth that much, it's not going to be enjoyable when you have your mouth around a big dick

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yes, it doesn't sound so bad at all

just be gentle and nice with me

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I've thought about it every day for quite some time

and not planing to bite one just njoy it (probably)

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They aren't all positive, it's a reference list that's used to describe someone's personality.
People often find it difficult to describe a personality, especially when it's their own and they have a negative self image. The list helps to make things tangible.

Even though I asked you to list positive traits, I somehow feel a negative undertone in most of these. Are there any on the list that you are 100% proud of that you possess?

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Only if you dress up as a sexy maid for me and promise to be a good boy~

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And whyy do you think about it?

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Pride is a notion I can only feel for small feats or for things other achieved with my help.
>negative undertone
And that's why i entered this thread.

I wasn't raised to be a normal functioning human being. Feelings were of no concern. That said, my parents got really bad advice for raising kids. But I have forgiven them because they didn't know better.