*knock knock knock*

*knock knock knock*

>according to our records, you haven't paid your telly licence this month.

What do?

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>not chipping in your share to keep Top Gear and Taboo running
Filthy pleb.

little does he know i never binned my knife

MODS

Literally me 3 months ago:
>No, I don't use a terrestrial ariel, nor do I use the BBC online. No you can't come in, get a fucking search warrant. Now fuck off.

>666
>i never binned my knife
Just Satan things, tee-hee XD

Throw some acid in his face and rest comfortably knowing that the police will never investigate a crime that may have been done by a brown person

*close door*

wonder how i got transported to an islamic caliphate overnight

This.

Don't let them fuckers in lads. They have NO right.

I never answer the door because there's never anyone I want to talk to on the other side.

i am the one who knocks

Shut the door.

This is me except I'm dumb enough to answer. It scares the shit out of me initially when there's a knock on the door because it happens so infrequently. If I see anyone I don't recognise or holding a pad I just close the door instantly without saying a word.

...

Sorry, lost me telly in a boating accident, guvna

>say no words
>point behind them
>when they turn around close the door
>wait i live in America and paying a tv fee is fucking retaeded.

I had a cavity search because of a bent wire that looked like an aerial. Lost 3 points from my tv license and was forced to take a commercial television course at Scotland Yard.

I think you are implying I ever answer my door. After the first knock the tv would be muted and I would remain motionless...this also works with police for some reason.

I watch all my shit on my phone pig.

>retaeded

cute

>"I don't watch TV"
>maybe "I only use it to play video games"

Aren't these the only answers you need? I mean hell, between streaming services, YouTube, and piracy I don't get why anyone would watch actual TV programming.

I need to get a way I can see out my door without them seeing me so I can check if it's the neighbour coming to tell me something and I should open it or if it's my stalkers or the cops again so I can pretend I am not home.

Enjoy your commercial break every 3 minutes

Your coverage of the Olympic opening ceremony was a fucking joke

They have these things called windows now a days.

Since the Olympics themselves are a joke, it fits

>this also works with police for some reason.

I had police wake me up at 4 fucking am because they found the car I sold to some guy and he'd taken off the license plates but left it parked on the street and they thought it was stolen.

Just out of curiosity, how many British Pounds is a telly licence per month and what's the equivalent in Australian Dollars?

HAND OVA YER FOOKIN POUNDS

If I look out the window they can see me too.

>have to pay for government TV
>it's literally called BBC

LOL

>britbongs call it a "telly" when "tv" is a shorter and easier way of saying it.

147 bong dollars or 250 dollarydoos

Telly rolls of the tongue better. Try it. TEEEVEEE takes too long

Tele------vision, or tele for short

Per month? You can't seriously pay that price every month just to watch tv

I'm positive it's annual. So essentially $20 AUD a month.

Which is still an absolute rip off.

Do they remove advertisements or something? I'd pay $20 a month for no ads. If not it's just a blatant scam.

Yeah it's £147 for the year. The BBC doesn't have commercials. Which is useful for watching films and sport. No piss breaks though.

>useful for watching films
What films? The sport was all they had, and even Match of the Day is pointless when most people watch sports online.

The beeb is a fucking ripoff. None of the other stations charge a fee.

£150 a year to watch shit that you can watch on youtube an hour later. In the 90's the BBC tried to charge just for watching a DVD.

The quicker everyone stops paying it the quicker it'll get scrapped.

I see.
So do your wives have a BBC license?

we's right snoggered now mum

>2017
>needing a license to watch tv
>charging more for color television

WTF YUROP

Fuck her. She does what I tell her to do or she gets a clip around the ear.

That's what happens when you let them in, they see you're using the BBC, and you refuse to pay.

If you don't let them in, they can't do shit. All they can do is come back.

They can't take you to court without proof of a crime. If you don't let them in, they can't prove shit.

You answered your door. That was your first mistake.i launched a bunch of fireworks in a school parking lot and someone took my plates down and the cops showed up at my house. Shined his light in the door for a few minutes and left and never came back.

Tell him, "Welcome to America". Get the tar and feathers.

>went through the whole of uni without a tv license

yea but paying for color tv? why is black and white even an option?

Because

>2017 ENGLAND
>gotta prepare meals with the side of my fork because all knives were binned
>suddenly door breaks down, oh shit forgot to pay tv licensing
>they charge into the kitchen, see me holding a lethal weapon, immediately try to disarm me with their hands because they aren't allowed to use any weapons
>luckily the neighborhood prayer alarm goes off
>everyone packs into my private prayer room to pray to allah
I just wanted to make a toast sandwich...

Same user. Those were good times.

I don't get it. Why don't they just charge the TV license when you buy a TV? Or why don't they just make it like cable and encode the signals? It'd be like HBO coming to your house in case you watched Game of Thrones without buying a subscription.

I'm an expat. I'm recounting what I remember as a kid. I don't watch tv where I currently live.

>britburkas

does 150 a year include sports? formula 1? tennis, barclays premier league, etc. Cuz that sounds like a pretty good deal

>britshariahs

>131,50 dollaryoos for colour
>44 dollarydoos for black and white

>bike status: BINNED

either get a camera or have a peep hole installed

So how many people actually get just black and white? Like is it HD but just no color lol?

>BINNED.COM

>Literally me 3 months ago:
>>No, I don't use a terrestrial ariel, nor do I use the BBC online. No you can't come in, get a fucking search warrant. Now fuck off.

Did you get out of jail last week? How much in fines did you pay?

Fuck those bikes. I lived in an apartment complex and a group of assholes riding those would wake me up on Saturday morning.

when I was living in London the tv license inspector insisted that my wide screen monitor is a TV and wouldn't believe it until I turn it on, jesus christ these fags are poor.

settle down there satan

*pulls out camera*
Yeah, fuck off you nasty little cunt.
youtube.com/watch?v=xfHRhXW1hno

Haven't paid telly license in years, don't watch the fucking shit the Beeb put out so why should I?