You are Captain America, on the run from the government with your small band of rogue heroes

You are Captain America, on the run from the government with your small band of rogue heroes.
Thanks to the writers and executives, there can only be one female character in your crew.
Another will have to be sent to the Raft, where she will be kept at least until Infinity War.
The third will be left to her own devices, and eventually be pardoned and team up with Tony Stark.
Who goes where?

fuck wanda marry natasha kill 13

Keep Nat, send Wanda to the Raft, retcon 13.

Nat is on the reg side (mostly and can't take care of herself)

Wanda is too busy with DaddyHawk and DaddyAnts and probably banging Vision on the side.


I have Sharon cosplay as Peggy because it turns out after years of stories that is her fetish.

Marry Wanda, fuck Black Widow since that's her specialty, kill the blonde as punishment for not getting her grandmother's tits.

Harem is the key to all this.

Fuck that I keep all of them.

>born in the 80's
>born in the 80's
>born in the 80's
>born in the 60's

Guess which one of them I would never bang.

Yeah, replace Marisa with Atwell.

Checked, except while the actress might still be relatively young, her character was born a hundred years ago.

>Olsen's eyes
Hnnnnggg.
Green eyes are so beautiful.

Tony should forget about Pepper and become Spider-Man's step-uncle.

>you'll never have a gf as beautiful as any of them

Kill them all since they're shit characters and the movies would be better without them.

Why are almost all female MCU characters so fucking boring and devoid of personality? All they're good for is eye candy.

Wow, that was so rude.

Alright, then I'd fuck all of them since they're obviously attractive, but then I'd send them all to the Raft so the movies won't suffer from their bland scenes anymore.

Better?

Why is Thor so fucking stupid?

If you're lucky you and your ugly wife might secretly have recessive genes to create a Qt daughter

Sif all the way.

That's still rude.

Sif is disqualified for appearing on Agents of Shitty, Horrible, Idiotic Trash

But she's pretty fucking hot.
Isn't that what this thread is all about?

>not posting true best Thorwhore

Scarlet Witch.

Well Wanda is the only one that can actually be of any use to you.

>SW will never give you a telekinetic handjob
Why live?

C'mon, no Maria Hill? She's way more memorable than Peggy's Daughter.

Well, I guess we're only doing characters who were in Civil War.

Throw Peggy's Daughter into the raft because she sucks. Have Scarlett Witch left to her own devices, because she seemed to be moving in that direction anyway, and having her team up with Tony Stark would be really interesting, given the issues she has with him. Now, by process of elimination, Black Widow will end up back on Captain America's team, and that's fine.

Sounds hot.
I'm totally not worried of any potential accidents

Wanda because she's one of the few heroes that has done absolutely nothing wrong, as confirmed by McFeely and Markus.

Black Widow is useful too.

Sharon because I've seen what her genes are capable of.

This.

>Q: Why was it necessary to put the winter soldier back on ice?
>A: Well because, I mean for one thing he is, give or take his intellectual capacity, 100% guilty. And to have Steve just running around getting free salads with him on some island, it’s a little too unpunished, in a way. This is not a guy who should be running around happily. He may not be 100% guilty, but he’s damn sure not 100% innocent.
>Q: Why does that not apply to Wanda Maximoff?
>A: Wanda…
>Q: You think she suffered enough?
>A: I don’t think she did anything near as bad […] None of those things were terribly interesting to us, the punishing of nice people, who already feel guilt. In the Bucky issue is…it was a bridge too far I think.

I mean there's a difference between being an assassin for decades and one mission fuck up that wasn't 100% her fault

Aww, even they waifu her.

For dicking.

And I am sure none of them would ever consider banging you.

Feel like I'm the only one that waifus 13. Fuck y'all, she thicc bruh

Clearly, Sam approves of Cap's choice, too.

I bet Uncle Ben was super handsome in this universe too.

I think Aidan Gillen would be perfect for Uncle Ben in some flashback.

>If you didn't steal this [car], would you die?

>''With this mask, comes great bigness.''

Well?

Team up with Thor, Cap's on the raft, and Tony can team up with himself.

Thats not bad casting at all.

Fuck Thor, marry Cap, kill Tony.

Marry Cap and Wanda, kill Thor and Iron Man, make Black Widow and 13 fuck each other for our amusement.

/thread

>It's somehow Buckys fault he was kidnapped by Russians and brainwashed for 70 years

>Expecting Tony to be anything other than a reactionary dickhead

His entire movie career has been him doing complete 180s at the drop of a hat

>Iron Man 1, sees like three Marines killed by camel jockeys, decides to shut down the most lucrative part of Stark Industries and become a fucking vigilante
>Iron Man 2, realizes he's getting sick, just straight-up loses his mind and becomes a danger to himself and others
>Avengers, doesn't believe team will work, sees trading cards covered in flecks of blood, results culminate in him giving a nuke a jockey-back into space
>Avengers 2, too lazy to continue his vigilantism, creates Skynet
>Civil War, encounters cliche "mah baby boy is dead, oh lawsy, sho' nuff I ain't happy with no 'vengers no way no how" black Mammy, immediately surrenders all personal responsibility to the government (who he steadfastly refused to surrender to at the beginning of Iron Man 2 on moral grounds)

Read the post he was replying to.

Whoops, don't know why I assumed was talking about Stark, just had some venom to let loose.

The only correct choice really.

Thor would fuck you senseless, Cap would be an A++ husbando, and Tony can leave the world in peace from his bullshit.

Get Cap, Raft Thor, Kill Tony

> That feel when Wanda is in safe hands.

They better keep taking good care of her.

But user, that's a fanfic character

> Scott retrieves Wanda's guitar from Avengers HQ.
> "I believe this belongs to you, Scarlet Witch!"

I want to take care of her even though I'm just a regular guy with no superpowers and she's way out of my league.

This.

It's not like Hawkeye is any different.

Yeah, but he has wife and kids.

He's something of an uncle or something for her.

He's more of a surrogate father.

Fuck Scarlett
Marry Witchfu
Kill 13

Crew up with Witchfu
Send 13 to the Raft
Give the redhead to Tony (he'd like that)

Hawkeye is the one who basically encourages her to become a god-like being and let go of her past human shit.

The guy with no powers is the one who most encourages Wanda to use her powers.

He was a mind controlled assassin.
Retards seem not to get that guilt implies choice, will, agency, an act that you risked or outright wanted to commit.

Thus he is innocent but it seems the average person is too fucking dumb to get that.

The ones talking in that interview where Civil War's writers.

>The ones talking in that interview where Civil War's writers.

???

I mean the ones in here.
That's what the other guy was talking about it.

I know, they're still fucking retards.
Being a professional writer doesn't mean you can't be a moron with a 5 year old's understanding of morality and philosophy.

Yes, but your sentence is confusing.

I think it's more of an encouragement to stop doubting about herself.
Not even she knows the extent of her powers.

We all want to hug her, user.

The desire to cuddle Wanda is so strong the fact that she is sexy as fuck cannot counter her sheer cuddlesomeness.

Yup.
2qt4anything but cuddles

This tbqh.

>you will never cuddle her to keep her warm at night
>she'll never turn around in her sleep due to her body detecting a source of heat right next to her

From a purely strategical viewpoint:
Keep Wanda
Raft Natasha
Tony Sharon

> You will never hold her close and make her feel warm, and whisper a joke in her ear to make her smile and feel happy, as you tenderly and slowly cuddle her.

>you'll never feel her breath in your neck
>you'll never hear her soft snoring

Natasha goes on the raft because she's actually a criminal, even if she's tried to change her ways.

Sharon gets left on her own because she has a normal life and should go live it.

Wanda stays with me so I can keep an eye on her and keep her from fucking anything else up. I will train her as much as possible so she can further harness her power.