Untitled

......

ROBERT!
MY WIFE IS WAITING!

Robert finally quit?

He got promoted.

Good for him, he's a hard worker.

We have to factor in Affirmative Action.

*steals money from roberts register*

I refuse to believe that Robert was hired because of affirmative action. No white man could match his buttered crableg and popcorn serving skills. This is a fact.

Haha go fuck yourself my man. Robert got that position through hard work

>t. Robert

GUESS I GOT WHAT I DESERVED

Who am I going to share my wife with now?

Slow your roll, user. That's Robert you're talking about here.

*hops over the register*

I'm sure Robert won't mind

>go to kinoplex
>no singles policy
>start to cry
>Robert comes over, pats me on the back and sneaks me a ticket while saying "It's alright user, she's out there somewhere."

Based Robert.

You trying to steal from my son, shit-bird?

Uh Lt. Daniels, I didn't expect Robert to be your son. M-My mistake, I'll leave this Kinoplex concession stand alone

Can I get some crab legs though? My pet falcon has been craving those for ages

>Can I get some crab legs though?
Butter or no butter?

WHERE THE FUCK IS ROBERT AND IS THIS PENIS INSPECTION DAY?

Damn. Things aren't like they used to be.

Goodbye Robert. I'm glad you've moved on. Maybe someday I will too.

EXCUUUUSE ME I NEED SOME SERVICE. I NEED MY CRAB LEGS BEFORE THE KINO STARTS.

My wife will NOT cuck me by herself here!

I DON'T WANNA MOVE ON I JUST WANT ROBERT TO SERVE ME SOME GOSH DANG CRAB CAKES

*bangs gong*
EXCUSE ME ID LIKE TO GET SOME SERVICE SOMETIME TODAY PLEASE

Everything changes. Accept that.

Well who the fuck runs the confession stand now?

That'll be $20 dollars + tip for your small popcorn sir!

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

ROBERT

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Is this a Partec M5002 ?

Extra butter

...

Yes hello, I'd like a plate of your finest curry.

>go to local kinoplex
>Robert gives you free popcorn

Let's get some fucking stories going before the janitor gets his panties in a knot

Sure, just be careful not to choke

>walk up to ticket booth
>it's a slow day so there's no line
>cashiers are standing around talking to each other
>ask for one ticket
>"Just one?"
>he smirks and rings me up
>"Will that be all?"
>ask him for a large popcorn
>he starts charging me for an extra large
>gives me a small cup
>it doesn't even have butter on it
>ask him to put butter on it
>"Oh, I'm so sorry sir, let me take care of that right away"
>looks at me right in the eye and spits on it

Fuck the cinema.

or a knot in his panties

analytics bro

>be me
>be American
>go to see Wonder Woman in London for a real immersive experience
>at the concession stand
>ask for a bag of popcorn
>"You 'avin a go? This isn't the colonies, we don't serve popped corn 'ere, mate"
>apologize for my ignorance
>ask him to just give me whatever food is popular
>he gives me one spotted dick, a toad in the hole, and a knickerbocker glory to wash it down
>whatever
>time to look for my auditorium
>ticket says it's on the second floor
>walk up an entire flight of stairs
>can't find the auditorium where Wonder Woman is playing
>ask someone to check my ticket
>"You daft, mate? It says 'ere your room's on the second floor, this is the first floor"
>what the fuck
>ask him where the elevator is
>he calls me a wanker and tells me to piss off
>spend the next half hour climbing another set of stairs
>get to the auditorium
>the guards are standing in front
>"A'RIGHT, TROUSERS DOWN, PANTS TOO. GET YOUR PECKERS OUT SO WE CAN BEGIN THE INSPECTION"
>get promoted to a VIP seat for having a 6 inch penis
>"Stonking great willy on that one."
>finally sit down
>my seat comes with a personal Stacy
>movie finally about to begin
>everybody is really excited
>"This is going to be the dog's bollocks, I just know it!"
>"I 'ear they're going for the Fully Monty on this one"
>movie starts
>beautiful shots of Themyscira
>start clapping to show my appreciation
>people staring at me awkwardly
>Steve takes WW to London
>she says it looks hideous
>crowd goes insane
>"Oh, rubbish!"
>"She's off her trolley!"
>"Gormless slag!"
>they calm down after a while
>WW and Steve start kissing in the bedroom and the scene cuts
>Stacy turns to me, smiling with her popcorn-colored teeth
>"Do you think they had a bit of the ol' 'How's your father'?
>tell her to shut the fuck up
>she starts jerking me off
>didn't notice until 20 minutes later because I'm circumcised

It wasn't bad. I felt like David Thewlis as Ares was a total miscast though.