Be Aussie cunt

Ryder King
Ryder King

be Aussie cunt
walk into washroom barefoot
get bit by pic related
die in 15 minutes

All urls found in this thread:
http://www.3news.co.nz/sport/video-highlights-australia-bowled-out-for-60-england-dominate-day-one-2015080706
http://www.numbeo.com/crime/rankings_by_country.jsp
Easton King
Easton King

only kills people from shitney
nothing of value was lost

Sebastian Barnes
Sebastian Barnes

be yank cunt
walk into bathroom
brother runs your over with his motorized cart
die in 15 minutes

Robert Walker
Robert Walker

be aussie cunt
put boots on
bug/spider/snake/jellyfish/komodo dragon in boot bites you
die in 15 minutes

Daniel Cooper
Daniel Cooper

be american
get shot

Adam Gomez
Adam Gomez

Be Americunt
walk into Australian outback
forget how to follow a trail
die of exposure

Ian Cook
Ian Cook

be yank cunt
walk into bathroom without bulletproof vest
get shot by nigger hanging on the ceiling
die in 15 minutes

David Wilson
David Wilson

be Australian
walk into bathroom
run into strange creature
it starts demanding a visa and social services

Gavin Martin
Gavin Martin

be yank cunt
go to shartmart
get run over by motorized cart
local doctor performs surgery right there, giving you alcohol to douse the pain
your Irish heritage makes you immune to being drunk
get $10000000 bill
sell house to pay bill
live on the street, become homeless
a masked man with a strange hat approaches you
he slowly crouches down, coming face to face
he takes off his mask
it's a Vietnamese farmer
"fuck bạn chất béo cunt"
stabs you
all Americans in the vicinity quickly retreat
die in 15 minutes

Ethan Robinson
Ethan Robinson

be yank cunt
walk into bathroom
take 1 hour to take a constipated shit
police barge into the bathroom with aiming guns at you
"PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR CRAWL ON THE FLOOR LEFT LEG OVER RIGHT ARM OVER LEFT ARM OVER RIGHT LEG"
begin to pull up your pants so that you can follow orders
get shot

Alexander Campbell
Alexander Campbell

be Australian
visit America
call police
get shot

Nathaniel Gutierrez
Nathaniel Gutierrez

don't die because we have access to antidote

Colton Gonzalez
Colton Gonzalez

at least she got a good dose of american culture before she died

Juan Adams
Juan Adams

Our hospitality is legendary.

Noah Gomez
Noah Gomez

be european
get trucked

Levi Phillips
Levi Phillips

legend- wait for it -deady

Isaiah Ortiz
Isaiah Ortiz

Legend- wait for it -greasy

Jordan Wilson
Jordan Wilson

Legen-wait for it-
keeps waiting because asking a spaniard to be productive is considered a human rights abuse

Luis Williams
Luis Williams

be americunt
wake up at 4 in the morning
drink coffee-infused high fructose cornsyrup
gain another chin
open door to leave
dodge bullets from startled police officer
thank him for his service
get in pick-up truck
wait in traffic for 5 hours, only poor people take public transport
the clock strikes 11 past 9
everyone gets out of their car and faces towards new york
salute the twin towers. never forget.
get to work
see a job creator pass by
prostrate before him and ask if you can work longer and for less
he tells you that that you're going places
the entire office begins clapping, thanking him for being so generous
take lunch break (unpaid)
eat a super size bowl of ranch sauce with a topping of salad
gain a bra size
finally head home from work after working unpaid overtime
get pulled over by the cops
they ask to see your ancestry.com results
60% white
cops feel threatened by how white you are
get shot

William Perez
William Perez

lmao this post gave me a boner <3

Benjamin Campbell
Benjamin Campbell

be australian
housing bubble
games are good $50 more expensive
tramp stamp on flag
everything is venomous, from dogs to sisters
mommy has a belly pouch
ping 400+ with data cap to slow down on that supersonic 1.5 Mb/s """"Internet""""
struggle to load up about:blank
smear vegemite on your wooden cables to boost the signal as petrol shaman instructed
have a Gaytime that is hard to have on your own
celebrate National Sorry Day
go to Canada as a girl, get drunk and frostbitten during a nap outdoors in February
go to Bali and get burned
be tasmanian, be inbred
get cancer due to the lack of ozone layer
get glassed
get fucked by Wei Long
get shot by Muhammad the Pinoy
get stomped by emus
get kicked by cassowaries
get stung by platypus and live in horrible world of pain for months
get bitten by spiders in your closet
get in the water and step on a venomous sea urchin
get stung by a 4mm jelly fish
get curb stomped in kings cross
get privilege checked in lelbourne
get chlamydia from koala
get anthrax from wombat
get fucked by kangaroo
get rused by NBN Co. site
get invaded by chinks
get bit by snake in shower
get kids stolen by dingos
get laughed at by two Polacks on Sup Forums
get nuked by fucking Brits of all people
get mocked by New Zealanders
get outside and fall into the pit because the world literally hasn't rendered yet
lose all wars, even against allegedly lesser beings
huff petrol, bubble and drink cow piss from a goon sack
2 0 1 6
0 * * 1
1 * * 0
6 1 0 2

Tyler Robinson
Tyler Robinson

be australian
wake up next to your sister
"ay dahlin fahk moi that was a noice root last noight"
ride a kangaroo to the shitposting plant
get stopped by abos
their faces haven't loaded yet because of high ping
give them all your petrol anyway
apologise for invading their country
say thank you to the traditional owners of the land, the irrawajjialabumbajjiju people
continue on your way
shitpost hard on Sup Forums all day so you can afford to pay your internet bill ($1000 for 0.1bps connection, 3mb data cap)
go home
get mugged by abos again
no petrol this time, give them some of your ping instead
switch on the tv
the wallabies lost to new zealand again
"fahkin no worries m8 she'll be roight I'll just watch the loigue instead"
the kangaroos lost to new zealand again
"m-muh cricket"
http://www.3news.co.nz/sport/video-highlights-australia-bowled-out-for-60-england-dominate-day-one-2015080706
"m-muh afl"
can't see what's happening, players' mullets blocking the camera
go to new zealand, steal some pavlova and claim it was yours all along
cry yourself to sleep muttering "m-muh hdi, m-muh gdp per capita"
get bitten by spoidah
die within seconds

Christian Morris
Christian Morris

be Australian
get out of the house to taste some fresh air
fall into the pit because the world literally hasn't rendered yet
get into hell after 4000 hours
satan lags into the room
get banned from high ping
wake up in your bed
mom phases through your doors while you masturbate
you unlag your penis thrusting it too hard and breaking it
artefacts everywhere

Alexander Kelly
Alexander Kelly

be australian
zone into bedroom after 11 retries logging into irl server
clip through bed into basement rumpus room
clip through dog and mum on way to freezybox, cutting them in half along multiple vectors
panic
attempt to hide inside barricaded bush shack
hear sirens
cops clip through door and have shot me dead before i hear the noise
respawn ETA 17y13d4h153s

Tyler Cook
Tyler Cook

be australian
get roasted online
get roasted IRL due to depleting ozone layer
at some point ancestors were deliberately roasted by abos
about to be roasted by new PM
has no other purpose or existence other than a island mine
still have a higher crime rate despite being filled with less dirty chinks and malaysians
http://www.numbeo.com/crime/rankings_by_country.jsp
literally more fucking dangerous than sweden

Lucas Gray
Lucas Gray

be Polish

Christopher Gray
Christopher Gray

be Australian
mock leaves on the Internet
my 4 MB of data runs out
go outside
get stung by a leaf
shoot myself

Owen Gonzalez
Owen Gonzalez

Be australian
decide to look at porn
it's banned
decide to browse youtube
have to wait 48 minutes to load Men at Work's Down Under
go for a stroll in the mean time
forget sunblock and insect repelant cork hat
run towards the nearest liquor store to get some shade
get bitten by several spoidahs
buy a twelve pack of Fosters
run back home
see an Abbo pointing at the corner
get trampled by horse archers in your front lawn
Down Under is still buffering

Caleb Barnes
Caleb Barnes

be autistralian
throw a house party
lots of people come
house gets laggy as fuck
the music stops
host not responsive, connection lost
dad comes home early, restarts house
guests start respawning immediately
"the fuck is going on here, son?"
panic mode
make a shitty attempt at explaining
dad's not responding
ping 3000 ms
dad has timed out
run off to the beach before he logs back in
running too fast, map can't keep up
fall down and get stuck in a half-loaded road
cry out to a passerby for help
he walks outside the draw distance before the message can reach him

Landon Brooks
Landon Brooks

be Australian
meet qt mongol girl online
she looks beautiful, is funny and understands me
start to fall in love with her
have the desire to fuck her really hard
she feels the same
arrange everything, buy her tickets to fly to here and rent extremely expensive hotel
she finally arrives
we instantly make out, my dick is rock hard
"wait Temujin, there is something I have to tell you"
whats going on
I'm a... man
she takes off her pants
she has a penis 6 inches bigger than mine
"I hope this isn't a problem Temujin"
shocked but aroused because I'm an Aussie
c-can I touch it
"Sure!"
start giving the mongolian trap a handjob
god I love her so much
start sucking it
"Yes Temujin, your tongue is truly the fastest in all of Altai!"
Deepthroat her gigantic mongol cock
I'm actually enjoying this
"YES TEMUJIN I WANT TO FUCK YOU NOW"
have no option but to give my virgin Australian boypussy to the great Khans
she drills my asshole like the Emus used to, filling me with joy
I'm going crazy, cumming over and over again as the 10 Inch Mongol dick is destroying my Anus
"YES TEMUJIN I'M COMING LIKE THE MONGOL HORDE CAME FOR THE ABBASID CALPIHATE"
she fills my asshole with her superior Mongol semen
stick my fingers in my ass and lick all of the mongolian genes
"You've done great Temujin, the Great Khans will be pleased"
walk outside to get some fosters
get trampled to death my mongolian emu Archers

Jonathan Long
Jonathan Long

be american
unable to fit in the bathroom
die of diabetes
crematorium burns down due to a grease fire
crematorium owners sue your relatives
100 000 dollar bill + tip

Jackson Roberts
Jackson Roberts

be finn
get drunk

Carson Evans
Carson Evans

be Australian
get genghis khaned

Luke Jackson
Luke Jackson

be russian
get drunk
be poor

Brandon Perry
Brandon Perry

be finland
drink
get blind cause poor vodka
shoot 7 russkies
get shot
freeze
"oi vittu perkele suomi sauna mammi :DDD x--DD"
go to hell cause not Catholic

Cameron Adams
Cameron Adams

be finn
get stabbed

Angel Morales
Angel Morales

Richer than you, Mohammad.

Mason Cruz
Mason Cruz

ebin:DDD

Mason Mitchell
Mason Mitchell

KHAN'D

Isaiah Hill
Isaiah Hill

K H A N ' D
H
A
N
'
D

Lucas Cruz
Lucas Cruz

be jew
get circumcized

Levi Allen
Levi Allen

be americunt
get shot

Cooper Martinez
Cooper Martinez

be jew
get gassed

Xavier Campbell
Xavier Campbell

lmao, do moar

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