ITT:Tell international jokes from your country
A japanese guy was dating with girl and she asked:
>How big is your dick?
>Umm...Ehh.It's child-sized
>Don't worry user,I knew it before dating you because of the stereotipes and stuff.I'll be fine
They proceed to have sex
>Stop user you're killing me fuck I'm bleeding You told me it was child-sized
>Yes honey the size of a child
kek I laughed not bad
Terrible joke.
Wife of a pushtun (romantically): I want you to make me squeal tonight.
Pushtun proceeds to tie her up and lights her trousers on fire.
Who invented triathlon?
Gypsies.
Because only a gypsy walks to the swimming pool on foot and comes back home on a bicycle
kek
Pathan sitting on the Bench with girlfriend
Pathan said: Can i kiss u?
Girl said:NO my lipstick will remove
Pathan:Can i touch ur nipple?
Girl:No,my shirt will become wet.
Pathan: can i fuck u?
Girl:No their are my menses period.
Pathan:Lalay ki jan!
ab ye mat kehna k motion b lagay howy hain. (My dear, don't tell me you have diarrhea as well now)
How do you break a Frenchman's neck?
Slam the toilet seat down while they're drinking.
I bet you're better making home made explosives than telling jokes bro
pls no bully. I'm very sensitive.
why do black people have light palms?
so the cotton doesn't get dirty
The joke is that I don't understand shit, right?
Nice
Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are all working on a construction site, building a new skyscraper in London. It's lunchtime and they're all sat atop the building. Englishman opens up his lunchbox to see what his wife has packed him.
"Ugh... Ham and cheese sandwich... again. Im fucking sick of ham and cheese sandwiches, it's the same every bloody day. If I get another ham and cheese sandwich in my lunch box tomorrow I'm jumping off the top of this building."
Next, the Scotsman opens up his lunch box.
"Aackk, jam sandwich... again. I cannee go on like this eating jam sandwiches every day of me life! If I get the same again tomorrow I'm jumping as well."
Next it's the Irishman's turn.
"Ohh for fecks sake! Not another egg and cress sandwich! That's the fourth one in a row this week! I'm with you boys, one more egg and cress sandwich and I'm jumping!"
So next day they sit at the top of the building to have lunch. One by one they open up their lunch boxes... Englishman finds another ham and cheese sandwich, so off he jumps, and splats into the ground below. Scotsman finds another jam sandwich... Off he goes...Splat. Irishman, egg and cress sandwich... Splat.
A week or so later later the three widows are talking at the memorial service. English widow says, through tears, "I still can't believe it, had no idea George hated ham and cheese so much, if only i'd known..."
Scottish widow says "Duncan did say he was getting a bit bored of Jam, but I didn't realise he hated it that much, I just wish he'd have let me know how he really felt."
Irish widow says "I... I just don't understand... Paddy packed his own lunch."
Good
>tfw realize this can't be true
Ayyyyy keked hard
A chilean, a uruguayan and an argentine get lost in the middle of nowhere.
Suddenly they saw a little cabin which only has space for two, and a pigsty outside.
The chilean said he could sleep with the pigs that night, but two hours later he couldn't handle it and he came back saying he couldn't sleep in the pigsty because he's allergic to pigs.
Then the uruguayan said he could sleep with the pigs that night, but two hours later he couldn't handle it, so he came back saying he couldn't sleep in the pigsty because pigs are haram in his religion.
So the argentine said he could sleep with the pigs that night... two hours later the pig knocks the cabin door and said: "hey, I can't sleep in my pigsty because there's an argentine there"
Pashtun jokes are racist, brah
good shit
>monkey humor
How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit?
9 months
Three men had married a nordic woman from Sweden, Norway and Finland
The man who had married the Swede said to the other "when we came home after the honeymoon, I told her all the chores she had to do at home. The first day I could not see anything happening, nor the next day could I see that anything had happened, but on the third day she had cleaned up the house"
The other man who had married the girl from Norway said "when we came home after the honeymoon, I told her all the chores she had to do at home. The first day I could not see anything happening, nor the next day could I see that anything had happened, but on the third day she had cleaned up the house"
The man who had married the Finn said, "The first day I told her all the chores she had to do at home. The first day I could not see anything, nor the second day could I see anything, but the third day, the swelling subsided so much that I could see the phone and dial 911"
I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic. A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims shouting Anti-American slogans with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side was stopped next to me.
Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America" and took off before the light changed.
Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself:
"Man... that coulda been me!"
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
this one made me kek
howling
>What do you call a black guy in the sea?
Liquorish
>What do you call two black guys in the sea?
Double strong liquorish
>What do you call three black guys in the sea
Uneatable my dude
>So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
desu I thought you were going to say you went to buy an American flag and stopped shaving.
kek