Kelly: The Fangs Edition

Kelly general

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>Lady Liberty will never look at your dick like that

What's the point

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You have to admit, it is a pretty solid plan for our destruction.

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You know, I never noticed AL Gore until now.

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ok is this nignog serious or is this sarcasm

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He's making fun of drumpf like everyone else

What do you honestly think? I know some artists have truly outlandish beliefs, but take another look at or even OP.

While the guy behind Kelly is definitely a liberal, the Kelly cartoons have always been a parody of political cartoons in general first and foremost.

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How could you possibly miss him!?

It's hosted by The Onion, a satirical news site

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Every fucking thread.

Just go listen to your favorite Rap Band.

and don't forget to vape while doing so.

While streaming movies and NOT drinking underage.

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and spend all of the money you would've spent on drinking underage to buy up all the Ritz Bits from that one grocery store.

you know the one.

Damn No Talent Punks With Axes To Grind.

Kelly and RedLetterMedia unironically made me become a VHS/DVD collector.

Don't worry, I'm sure plenty of people will buy your book from the bookstore.

OH WAIT.

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Sadly the bookstore is a victim of socialism

I have admit, having one of those little library kiosks in my neighborhood is pretty nice. Forgive me Kelly!

Whiskey Sour can't save you from that!

it's nice to see the evil chinamen have recovered from their global warming plan falling through

The ones about petty inconveniences are always the best

What is Sup Forums's favourite Kelly comic?

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Of all the ones that come off as Kelly complaining about everyday inconveniences, this one's the funniest.

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Damn that's a fine ass shirt right there

>BrendanFrasier.jpg

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When I discovered Kelly wasn't a real person it was like Santa Claus all over again. Damn near broke my heart. If he wasn't the bastion of American sentiment that he is I'd feel the tiniest bit betrayed over it.

>literally advocating slavery
Kelly does it again.

Define "wasn't a real person". Because there is a guy making these comics.

I thought the guy (Chris something? I forget) was actually named Stan Kelly and he was making these comics while depicting himself as a silly caricature of a conservative and stuff, not just that Kelly was entirely fictional. Kind of bummed me out when I discovered the truth.

It's just a name difference. No big deal really

> that lady liberty

unf

It ruins my immersion man! Now I know that Kelly wasn't actually at the Chip n Dip and got pissed off at the manager and then made an entire comic passive aggressively bitching about it.

Just had more magic to it when I thought it was a legit old cartoonist who knew how to mock himself and his country and shit.

Actually I think that might of actually happened.

>mock
Kelly only deals in hard facts.

I'd like to dream so.

>Drumpf

So when did the left stop being funny? Because this was the gayest shit

Are you fucking stupid or just pretending you're some kind of oldfag?
Kelly comics are published by The Onion. The Onion.

Anyway, funniest Kelly strips are the ones where he's obviously just griping about some pet peeve of his as though it's the bane of all America.

They were clearly satirical but that didn't automatically mean Stan Kelly was a made up persona.

My favorites are when he plays up something stupid and unimportant as the god send of all America.

In both cases, we know that Kelly is always right.

>media (evil)
>innocent chelsea

It's so dense.

What's even funnier is gleaning details about the Kelly character's personal life through the comic. For example, he's right there in line and now we know Kelly has a debt problem.

>No crying Statue of Liberty
No sale

I'm so glad it wasn't just me.

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How does that thing go? Even Strawman Can Have a Point?

That is shitty of the gays to appropriate that stuff.

Why is it socially unacceptable for adults to go trick or treating, anyway? Hell, if you show up in costume with the sole intent of getting candy on Halloween, I don't care how old you are, you're getting candy.

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Buy your own damn candy you ridiculous manchild

Oh man, I love Rap Band.

>88105894
>"the gays"

lmao, look at this nagging ex-wife.

Still the best.

>driving home from a friend's house
>it's raining
>residential area, so speed limit is 25
>going 25, maybe even a tad less because of rain
>pulled over by cop
>confused, don't know what I did wrong
>you were speeding
"Oh, I could have sworn I was going 25..."
>you were
>mfw

Fought the ticket, got it thrown out and the judge made the cop apologize for wasting everyone's time.

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>Buy your own damn candy you ridiculous manchild
But it'd be cheaper to gather materials for a costume, for all the candy I'd get.

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Honestly, if an adult showed up in an AMAZING costume, I'd give them tons of candy, quite happily.

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Does anyone have the Sup Forums edit of this one?

When was the left ever truly funny?

I've kept it around.

When you agree with them.

Now that's funny

>HA HA THIS KELLY COMIC IS SO TRUE!
>you know he's a parody right?
>UNFUNNY LEFTISTS!

Are you me? the same shit happened to me. I expected an old, short, bald man to be drawing these.

I think there is another edit

Who are you quoting? No seriously, who are you quoting?

I love when he compares two unrelated events.

Found it

More like strangely ignorant that slavery was ever a thing, he labels the workers "labourers" and drew them as white. It's one of the best things about Kelly that his political views are actually quite idiosyncratic when you delve into them, like the fact that he's pro-choice because he's a deadbeat dad who wants women to put out more, or that he hates the Confederacy not because of slavery; again he seems completely ignorant of that, but purely because they opposed the United States.

>Frazetta
Kelly is a man with taste

His real name is Ward Sutton, and The Onion often publishes his sincere political cartoons which are; as you might expect, very left wing and often bafflingly artsy.

>that ">she"
Every time.

What comics about the civil war did he make? I can't recall any.

Shouldn't it be a discount tho?
They are spending more.

It worked for Judy Garland.

Usually it's because larger parties tend to require more service from the staff (if there's a single server that puts even more of a burden on them), and typically they tend not to tip very well compared to how much they're paying.

Basically this ensures the server actually gets something out of serving a big group instead of busting their ass and then getting $3 on a $100 check.

This is some backwards logic right here.
More people at the table at once = more servings ordered and, most probably, more meals (since the group is bigger there is larger possibility someone will order extra breadstick or whatever).
If anything, the food joint's owner should take the """cost""" of extra service on himself (partially for the current, big, receipt and partially, because of this larger group there are more people that could eventually be returning later and with others too).

But it's not how it works in America, innit. Expecting the "tip" to basically be the equalization for the shittiest wages waiters are getting.
Whatever.

Waiters rely on tips to supplement below minimum wage income. A large party can take an hour to serve, and can be the only table you serve. If they do not tip, or tip at some very low percentage, then working the table was incredibly economically disadvantageous to you; you would have been better off working multiple smaller tables.

This encourages waiters to pawn off those jobs onto the wait staff with less seniority, meaning the party may get less than optimal service.

All of this is compounded is you need multiple waiters.

Fuck, this one got me.

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