I'm watching this after not having seen it for a decade, and I feel more and more like the plot of this movie was suppose to be something very different.
A lot of the posters, covers and promotional art indicate that there was suppose to be a common enemy for the toys to fight (maybe humans?) instead of making them fight each other.
Anyway Small Soldiers thread.
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thanks for your deep analysis Doug Walker
I watched this somewhat recently, held up better than I expected
Also Commando Elite master race
>A lot of the posters, covers and promotional art indicate that there was suppose to be a common enemy for the toys to fight (maybe humans?) instead of making them fight each other.
Face it user, you played yourself
And it had a really fucking rocking soundtrack too: youtube.com
I didn't really try to analyze it, I just threw out an hypothesis. Why must you always be such a cunt, James?
>yfw Joe Dante is based but doesn't get any on-TV jobs nowadays
It does. Most of the action is done using the toys themselves, and the use of CGI was limited. It actually holds up visually too because they didn't go full retard with most of it.
probably one of the few kids movies where a parent asks a child if they're doing crystal meth
Remember when Kisten was cute?
>"You massive crooked beak of a nose is an insult to this planet Gorgonite monster!"
>Major addressing Archer
>19:23
Ahead of it's time.
Hotter now than she ever was honestly
>proud white male cleansing brown-skinned monsters
He did nothing wrong.
This movie could never be made today.
There was a KANGZ too.
she still makes a good milf
Didn't this movie come out to capitalize on the Toy Story crowd but for the teen audience?
Funny, I remember that at the time(cinema relese) I was sure the elite were the goodguys, like action man and shit.
One of the best movies of my childhood
I think most kids did. Protecting the humans from the monsters. Took me by surprise too!
This KANGZ shit is really getting out of hand, and by that I mean fucking retards using it for any and every black person they see in something. Moderate yourselves, idiots.
no
>>>/leftypol/
For some reason the only thing I remember about this movie is that one of the Commandos (the one with the mohawk, I forget his name) was killed by the main kid and the other Commandos had a little funeral for him.
If these chips inside their heads are THIS crazy powerful, why do we use regular soldiers in this universe at all?
>If these chips inside their heads are THIS crazy powerful, why do we use regular soldiers in this universe at all?
It's a Joe Dante film. You know, for fun and satires. It's not... it's not science.
Yeah but they go to great lengths to explain a lot of the other parts. Like how they're weak to EMPs, and how the hardware comes with firmware that allows it to write to a temporary cache based on it's surroundings.
You'd think putting Skynet in toys would make the price of those things 1000 bucks a pop.
You need to suspend disbelief a little there nigger. It's a kids movie about toys. Did you pick it apart when Woody came to life in Toy Story?
But that's the problem. In Disney it's just """magic""" and you're suppose to just take if for what it is, but this movie spends a good chunk of it's runetime trying to make us believe this shit.
Which is cool, and I'm totally willing to believe that you can use the head of a fallen soldier to power fully-plastic barbie dolls into your "cannon fodder core" (I remember that's actually what they call them).
you put munitions chips in toys???
>this movie spends a good chunk of it's runetime trying to make us believe this shit.
No, it comes up with quick explanations of stuff they want to have happen anyway.
God damn it, that part makes me laugh every fucking time and I don't know why
>that entire last scene where the two families are baricaded in the house
>no one owns a single gun
Immersion ruined.
That scene introduced me to fetishes I'm still discovering today.
>teenage girls being tied down
Count me on board friendo.
We will never get a scene where all the barbie dolls get revenge on her for not playing with them and instead bring out her adult toys. Imagine the dolls stuffing her ass and pussy with big black dildoes while some dolls squeeze her breasts and rub her clit. After hours her ass cheeks and pussy are red and she desperately tries to escape. After the dolls are done the soildiers also have their time with her. Being more brutal then the dolls; leaving her body scratched and bruised. And it's not over just yet! The protagonist finds her and struggles not to let his primordial instinct overpower him. But in the end it does and he has his way with her; filling her womb up with his seed. All this while she unpleasantly moans and we get a clear view of her exposed soles.
Later on in the post credit scene, we see her years later deeply affected by these events. We see her as she spirals out of control in cocaine addiction and can only be pleased sexually by abusive black men in toy suits.
We are ruined men here. All of us.
Who was the best Gorgonite and why was it Insaniac?
no u
That's a score, not a soundtrack.
You know what he means.
This was the hardest I've laughed while on here in a while. And by that I mean an internal chuckle.
Too right. Degeneracy was a mistake.
Hell yeah
...
>This KANGZ shit is really getting out of hand, and by that I mean fucking retards using it for any and every black person they see in something. Moderate yourselves, idiots.
>WE
Who are you qouting?
>newfags
>how to run a meme into the ground
This movie was the first time that I started to understand the concept of satire (even though as a kid I didn't know that word), those corporate scenes were funny as fuck
>Doesn't that sound a little...violent?
>Exactly, so don't call it violence, call it action. Kids love action.
I loved this Film when I was a Young'n
>L-look my fellow fine kekistanis sirs! A black person in the army - How inconceivable! Luckily I have the perfect epic meme for such an occasion!
Yeah, no
They lost though.
It was the whitest suburbs in America in the 90's. It was a different time.
bump
>I'm Archer
I remember seeing this when it came out and I was surprised at the language in the film. It just caught me off guard as a young kid.
>hell
>damn
>bitch
Shit's pretty intense for PG film.
If I remember correctly, it was pretty violent too and I only would've been 7 or 8 when it first came out depending on the month.
This isn't really relevant to the thread but does anyone remember a toy that would've been around in the 90s. They were grotesque monsters, maybe 6 inches high that had a "pump" on them and when you pressed it, slime or goo would circulate through clear tubes in the bodies?
Great satire on toy companies.