Caspere knew this

>I hate rollercoasters, Ray. Never trust something that straps you in, turns you upside down, and forces your hands in the air. Following every slow ascent there's an immediate plummet. I never ride rollercoasters, Ray, but I'm not afraid to build one.

>The thing about pancakes is that they flat, Ray. They are flat in a way that you can stack them. The higher the stack you make, the more calories you will have to burn off running. And Ray, I've been running all my goddamn life.

Now that the dust has settled, are pancakes better than waffles? user? Come in please.

Pancakes are the kino of breakfast food, waffles are plebian.

This made me LOL is it ancient copy pasta, desu?

Waffles are kino, fucking KYS

Monitoring

>Grab the bull by the horns, Ray. That's what they say. Grab the bull by the horns and you'll make it in life. Well I'm not some fucking wetback matador and this ain't a Texas rodeo so I guess we're having chicken tonight.

Caspere knew this.

>Caspere knew this

This meme is brilliant because it was never said in the show.

Unironically what did he mean by this? Is this a retarded mod?

It was said every other line

>One day, Ray, you get asked- Pancakes, or Waffles? The thing about it is, its never actually about pancakes or waffles, the butter distribution, the syrup, this side or that side.
>Its fluffy vs crispy. Ultimately, everyone is asking if you want something fluffy or if you want something crispy.
>But i've been spending my whole life searching for that fucking crunch, Ray, and I'm not stopping until they call me Cap'n.

at this point I don't even know who caspere was anymore

He knows this

>My father used to tell me that good things come in twos. Well guess what Ray? I'm one bad motherfucker.

Caspere knew that nobody would know this.

it doesn't matter who he is, what matters is his knowledge

>When I was 8 they told me that I wasn't tall enough to ride the rollercoaster. That was the last time I didn't do something, that I was told I couldn't. Now every night, I sleep in a race-car bed with my wife. Vroooooom! Never stop moving, Ray.

>they say that every dog has it's day. but you know what, ray? i'm a fucking cat and i just lost my calendar.

>tfw this is the best Sup Forums meme but requires some braincells and as such doesn't get the love it deserves

brilliant

This

Caspereposting is too difficult for average Sup Forums which is why it never took off

>they say a town with money's like a mule with a spinning wheel. And Ray, I'm about to kick your broke ass off my carousel

Not OC but from old Vinceposting threads:

"It's a dog eat dog world, Ray, and I'm the fuckin' Chinamen."

Anyone have that pic of Frank giving the photo but it’s a pic of ray in his denim on it

>You want life to stop suffocating you? Don't hold your breath, Ray. Me? I don't even have lungs. I got gills. And that's why this shit smells real fishy to me

my boi frank was apoplectic as fuck

stridency: D E T E C T E D

...

>Caspere was just the chocolate in the tootsie pop, Ray. Me? I'm the stick. And you haven't even begun to unwrap this lollipop, friend.

Season 2 was great

whoa

...

Caspere predicted this you know

>tfw not a native speaker and too dumb for good vince-posting
Its a shame really. Its probably one of the only good memes this board has spawned.
Shit like is just too damn good.

What's your native language user

>World's full of holes, Ray. Holes waiting to get fucked. Caspere knew this; that's why he sealed up all his orifices with cement. But new holes can be made, Ray, and I'm a fuckin' pneumatic drill

>I live my life a quarter mile at a time, Ray.

these fucking threads

every goddamn time

...

Swahili

>They say it's bad luck to open an umbrella indoors, Ray. But guess what? Sometimes the storm rips the roof off your house, and I'm not standing there getting watered like a fuckin' petunia

agreed

>tfw want to contribute but not smart enuf

Is this a new form of poetry?

They say to take everything with a grain of salt, Ray. The problem is, I've got high cholesterol and all I see is fucking pepper.

>They say it ain't over till the fat lady sings. Well guess what Rey, I'm about to kick over the hors d'oeuvre cart

This world is shit Ray. Sometimes it comes out clean and sometimes it's a splattered mess. Some men try to wipe it all up, but me? I'm a diaper. And when I'm done soaking it all up, they're gonna throw me away.

fucking

>They say when life gives you lemons make Lemonade, Ray. But My juicer ain't working and my arms are in casts.

>They say an elephant always remembers. But ive been dealing with poachers, who only care about ivory, all my life Ray, and Im ready to forget.

>I'm not the biggest talker Ray but when my fists start going I can't get them to shut the fuck up, understand Ray?

It's a dog eat dog world, Ray. And you know what? I'm the fucking Chinaman

My pops... Pops was a drinker. You know this. I used to wait up for him, laying awake for hours, just... just terrified that tonight might be the night, y'know... tonight he might finally just not make it back home. But sure enough, I'd hear him come stumbling in, four, five in the morning, sometimes past sunrise. And he'd open my door and peek in, just to see that I was safe in bed, then he'd stumble over to his bed and passed out. And boy, once he was out, he was OUT. Some mornings, seemed like wasn't even the call of NATURE loud enough to wake him up. Used to piss the bed, shit the sheets, soiled himself, like an infant. My pops.

Only one night he came stumbling in, guess he got confused and thought my bed was his. So I'm layin' there, just staring at the ceiling, trapped underneath two hundred fifty pounds of unconscious drunk. Couldn't wake him up, couldn't slip away. I felt my arm fall asleep, then my leg went. Just watching the sun rise. And then I heard it. And honey, I ain't ever believed in no God, but in that moment I was praying, please, please let it just be gas. The smell hit me a moment later, and baby, it was just as solid as you or me. I ain't ever forgotten that, I ain't ever felt as helpless as that morning, pinned down, covered in my pop's poop.

And I'm gonna tell everyone just what I told my pops: Frank Semyon won't take another man's shit, ever again. And if they wanna make a liar out of me, baby, I'm returning fire. They're gonna find out just how big a stink a Semyon can make.

>They say blood is thicker than water, Ray. But I'm on my period and we're in the fucking desert.

...

>They say that every rose has its thorn Ray, but I never had a garden to grow them on. Only thing I ever had was a concrete floor. Well the thorns have grown within Ray, and I'm about to sting every motherfucker of this town with them.

Very nice

...

>they say when life gives you lemons make lemonade, Ray. But what the fuck am i sposed to do with all these limes?

Final bump. Good thread lads

Kek

Caspere and I were two birds of a feather. But when the birdshit hits the windshield, Ray, you gotta build a new nest

>You ever heard the saying "home is where the heart is", Ray? Well, that's true, but most people have their hearts nestled between their lungs, and it's a tight squeeze to fit granite countertops and a loveseat in there. You wanna truly belong somewhere in this world, Ray, you gotta take a long climb to the top of a pyramid and have some wetback in a feather wig cut your heart of your chest and hold it up for the world to see. If you aren't willing to sacrifice a part of yourself, you'll never really belong anywhere.

>They say you can lead a horse to water, Ray, but you can't make him drink. Thing is, Ray, you're not a horse. You're a donkey. And you've got a fucking IV drip.

>tfw you go back to TD and S1 is aging fine but S2 is aging like a fine wine

I wish I was creative like you fucks.

>is this a new form of new faggotry

Same

Just think of some absurd idiom and think of some scenario for it to be in.

>they say I'm a dime a dozen, but what they don't know is I'm also the fucking Baker.

>An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well guess what, Ray, I'm the doctor and they keep bringing me oranges.

>They say silence is golden Ray but I've got tinnitus and I'm blue-yellow colorblind.

>You ever hear of a koan, Ray? They're these crazy questions the Buddhists ask. Supposed to empty the mind for meditation. The one that also got me was "Two hands clap and there is a sound. What is the sound of one hand?" Well I got the clap from a one-handed hooker. I gotta tell you, that sounds pretty shitty to me.

You ever crack open a glowstick Ray? You'd think it keeps glowing and it's gooey on the inside and when you finally get it open you realize that's exactly how it is. I'm not a glowstick Ray. If you crack me open, you're gonna be real fucking surprised at what you find inside.

>It's a dog eat dog world Ray, and I'm a fucking Chinaman. Caspar knew this.

I like frozen waffles a couple of times a year, but like real belgian waffles? Fucking disgusting.
Would rather have a pancake that a belgian waffle. Are there different kinds of waffles you can make that are actually good?

>Why did the chicken cross the road, Ray? It doesn't matter, because i'm no chicken and ain't nobody crossing me

>You know, they say you can’t turn off the bad in people like a tv, well, Raymond, I’m a turning into a fucking remote

>You ever smell a dog's asshole, Ray? It smell bad.

>There might not be such a thing as a free lunch, Ray, but I've never seen a hungry shark getting out his wallet.

>They say that the early bird gets the worm. What they don't tell you is that either way, the worm dies. Well Ray, right now you're the worm and my alarm clock just went off.

They say every dog has his day Ray, but it's night-time and I have no idea when its sunrise.

>You know Ray, it's said that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but I just shaved all my pubes.

First Disciple here.
Why are you using this tripcode outside of based avatar threads? Don't taint the movement.

My father once told me that everyone's got a chink in their armour. Well, you know what, Ray? I got a whole lotta chinks and they make a mean chicken chow mein

>Sometimes Ray, life is gonna grab you by the dick and jerk you off. You may be asking "when do I cum? Where?" Me? I never cum. I stopped cumming a long time ago.

gud jeb

>A guy I knew once told me not to take one step forward and two steps back with my plans but I always go up steps by threes Ray. I'm always one step ahead.

whoooaaah

woe

I keep forgetting to turn it off, I've done it a few times. Sorry Based first disciple

>Fortune favors the bold, Ray, and you keep thinking in italics.

Is there any chance we could some day get Vince Vaughn to read our Frankposts out loud

Ok.

I think reddit has stolen this meme already, so they could make him aware of it if they get enough updoots on his next AMA.

Based

>I've seen c-beams glitter near the Golden Gate Bridge, Ray. You know what? It wasn't even that impressive.

>I've heard that you can't judge a book by its cover. Do you think that's true, Ray? I wouldn't know. I never learned how to read because I was too busy learning how to bleed.

The greatest trick caspere ever pulled is making Sup Forums think he didn't exist