Hey guys, it's comedienne and actress Amy Schumer here, literally AMA

Hey guys, it's comedienne and actress Amy Schumer here, literally AMA.

I have a question.

Yuck.

Give buttermilk Aryan princess

What are you eating at the moment

FU-SION-HA

why does your face keep getting wider

How's Chuck? Does he have any plans to retake Congress? Or do his lobbyist actually like a tax cut for the rich?

>yuck
What happened user, you didn't scrub Moms beat up snatch before you headed down town?

Cheetos

Why do your comments keep getting narrower?

Couldn't say.

i remember when i thought about fapping to you once

what happened to you?

I fucking hated you in that old navy commercial

You can fap to me user, it might be a change from fapping into your sisters sock drawer.

i'm up for anything

That's cool. Tbh it was a bit of a bore, but the paycheck was ridiculous;-)

What's it like sleeping with Kermit?

pls go and stay go

That stalker has no idea what he’s in for

wanna fuck?

Seriously, overrated.

Can we at least have a coffee?

sorry, coffee keeps me up at night. fuck or no fuck.

Why are your boobs so sad looking?

Honestly I'd suck that titty.

Please, like you wouldn't pop it in your mouth quicker than a newborn baby given half the chance.

yeah i'd probably suck that titty too in the heat of the moment, then i'd regret it like the next day.

OINK

Hi Amy, thanks so much for coming. If I had to narrow it down to just one question, I think I speak for us all when I ask the following question:

If you were to bend over and touch the floor, how many feet away would I need to be to not smell the odor of your pussy or your asshole?

Nothing worst than a fat chick with small tits or Hank Hill ass.

hey baby wanna feel my THREE INCH DICK?

Hi anonymous, great question.
Unfortunately, the complexities that surround such a question are far deeper than one mere unit of measure.
We need to take into consideration many factors including menstruation (that's a period for the kids), recent bathing habits, specific foods consumed, any diseases, bacteria or fungai that may be present on a given day and even the types of foods I may have consumed, just top mention a few.
All things considered, I'd say a baseline distance of 2 ft would be ample.

Sounds like all my dreams come true prety much. How do we get the ball rolling big guy?

meet me in my cab.

You cheeky little devil.

...

Would.

Nice.

yeah sorry. i don't get much time outside of the cab these days so we'll just have to do it in there.

yeah she isn't a good comedian at all but i'd probably fuck her. i don't get why people call her gross.

Is this the best that wh*te liberal """""""""males""""""""" can get?

Wow, for a bunch of shit talking virgins losers who like to put celebrities down, you sure haven't got much to say, let alone anything clever, insightful or intelligent.
I guess that's that then, thanks to those who took part.

Dude why you so salty

>mouthful of white infected puss
No thanks

Do you mind if i jack off in front of you? if not ill stop...

>feet
>can only see her big toe

Why did you stop being funny around the time you broke up with Anthony Jeselnik? Was it coincidence?

what are you long term fitness goals?

Imagine the life of someone LARPing as a comedienne they hate on a Cambodian Cavepainting bulletin on a Friday night