Thunderbolts featuring Luke Cage Storytime (Part 6)

Welcome back Anons! Last time, we read the last Fear Itself tie-in, and half of the Thunderbolts took the tower and vanished. Today, let's see where they ended up.

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>"I left for FIVE MINUTES!"

I know I wanted to post earlier, but sadly my day job decided to interfere.

for one brief moment I thought this was Zubbolts and my heart died. Thank you user for storytiming a really underrated run.

Well, that happened.

I like that Cage admits that Abe deserting is kinda his fault.

Good evening!
I've decided that six issues is probably the maximum I can storytime in a single sitting

Don't get too excited, we've still got things that are arguably even worse than Zubbolts on the docket.

Storytimes used to get done a lot faster, before the cooldown time was doubled. Usually people settle for three to four issues.

Since I have to be up early tomorrow, this will only be four instead of the usual six.

>"No Internet?! You could have spared me that!"

Looks like Boomerang won't be on Captain Hydra's side come Secret Empire.

Fuck you, nigger. I wanted my Thunderbolts 2 weeks ago ;_;

I could've downloaded the thing but I like the story times.

Let me guess the Redbolts era?

Well, that's one way to pacify the guy who used to be able to fight Spider-Man.

Luckily, Luke and Danny aren't related to Waybolts at all. No, it's unrelated to the Thunderbolts.

people defend the Soule stuff! somehow

>I could've downloaded the thing but I like the story times.

I'm only posting Parkerbolts, so you can still download the classic Bolts, and storytime yourself, maybe in a time that isn't dumb as hell.

Nah.

Well he's specifically mentioning Cain this time, but yeah, he's admitting he fucked up.

Hey, she does have some Succubus Powers

>"We started thinking of him as his job at the Raft."
>"Bert didn't feel like we wanted him past his ability to make the place run."

No wonder he went back to his boyfriend.

Oh god Ironfist the living weapon?

Huh, I would never have guessed Karla to be the "fluffy bunny slippers" type.

Bringing Johnny and Venom was a good idea and salvaged some of the concepts. But he left way too early to really play with the story.

Hey. Once again, probably not in until the end of the road, but will comment while I'm here.

>1ST ISSUE
>of a new era

Heh.

>"It's Nazis!"

It looks more like she's just summoning other Succubi, rather than doing it herself, but it's an arbitrary line, at best.

Fearless Defenders.

Yes, we're doing it properly.

Personally, I could've done without Punisher, at least once Dillon left and there'd be no more Frankface.

>It's like I'm the Rackham now.

Troll is cute.

I love boomerang
I miss superior foes

See, when I think "Satanna in her evil aspect", THIS is what I think of.

Boomer is great.

And now Centurius has a new fetish.

Somewhere, Roy Thomas has an erection, and he has no idea why.

There's a Luke Cage bit in Superior Foes, so I'm considering using that as an excuse to just run the entire series.

Oh Karla, are there no depths that you won't sink to.

You'll be done in 2 years Mr. PM-IF

The first chunk of Secret Six (The Villains United stuff) can be found here:

What's more, it's a direct reference to this run.
Also Abe is Boomerang's Parole Officer. Seems like reason enough.

At least he hasn't tried to kill any of them.f

>You'll be done in 2 years Mr. PM-IF

You say that, but we past the bulk of it a while ago. Maybe a few months at worst.

Man, I would legit read a WWII era Thunderbolts.

With the Bolts as Fifth Columnist Supervillains disguised as heroes, but then Germany loses the war and they're at a loss at what to do next.

Walker and Shalvey are a really good team on this book.

Luke, he's as helpful as Abe is. At least Ghost is giving you info about him.

>Man, I would legit read a WWII era Thunderbolts.
This arc is probably the closest you're going to get.

There's always What Ifs.

>"I've never been the hottest detective, but let's see what we can turn up."

Luke, you're married to Jessica Jones, who actually IS a private eye, and we've seen how good she is at it. You do all right.

>"If we start to look like we might win, then Moonstone switches over too."
>"Heh, that's for sure."

Karla is what you might call, "a reliable traitor".

Luke, are you really surprised that one of Satana's old bases is filled with spooky shit?

I don't believe Doctor Strange had any books around this time, so your guess as to what he's doing is as good as mine.

Does Marvel even DO those anymore?

Shit.

>that Screaming Mimi costume

Let's just say Melissa moved up when she became Songbird, in more ways than one.

This is basically a flashback issue for Songbird's time in the Thunderbolts.

Course, the way it happened in Busiek's run, Melissa already looked like Songbird about a page before Atlas gave Baron the IDEA to pretend to be Superheroes.

I've only seen it under Liefield Jr's pen lately so I forgot, but the Meteorite costume really is actually pretty good.

Yellow Ultraman lol

If you've read the Bolts before, you'll be able to recognize almost everyone on this page.

I forget, what was the deal with the costume change originally, then?

Remember the time Melissa kissed (if not slept with) Zemo as part of some revenge plot of hers for the shady crap he did during New Thunderbolts, like killing Genis and making the Thunderbolts fight the New Avengers?

>"It felt like I was being shown something. For a reason. The past."

A shame they don't think much about it at the time.

I believe it was that Helmut shared your views on Screaming Mimi's choice of attire and had Fixer dress her up accordingly.

Personally, I think he has a mild fear of clowns.

>"This antenna has been here for 68 years."

Dun dun dun!

Spider-Man really can't turn it off, can he?

Welp, say goodbye to Melissa, everyone, because Val is about to murder her right in front of Avengers Mansion.

Good thing this was from before the A-bomb, because carbon dating has been fucked ever since. Although, since the building was made with future material, I don't think Ghost should have been able to date that

>Troll's axe almost literally has a glowing arrow pointing at her

>Personally, I think he has a mild fear of clowns.

I like this reason.

Has Namor ever worn trunks like this before? I thought speedos were his thing?

Val a cool.

And now they're all getting on with Karla's cosplay idea.

>that secod panel

Troll is having none of Karla's shit.

>Satanna
Oh no muh dick

She's basically one of the best Defenders.

Try this one: The Life of Otto Skorzeny

youtube.com/watch?v=Bs-bmsrXRxI

Otto is the nazi Cap. Interesting life.

The 'bolts and Otto remind me of Morrissey's Last of the Famous International Playboys:

In our lifetime those who kill
The newsworld hands them stardom
And these are the ways
On which I was raised
These are the ways
On which I was raised
I never wanted to kill
I AM NOT NATURALLY EVIL
Such things I do
Just to make myself More attractive to you
HAVE I FAILED ?

Music video: youtube.com/watch?v=Bk1wUKoXL20

Would such clothing be acceptable in 1940s?
Her shoulders and legs are completely exposed, not to mention her bosom.

>the caption doesn't say "NEIN!"

This series is now shit.

Ah, a rare instance of Irish/Celtic mythology showing up. Nice.

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

So, outside of the Golden Age Human Torch, where can I read more Jim Hammond?

There's a war on. Gotta flash some T&A when you can.
Also it does a good job of making her seem more mischievous and less Evil Seductress.

Vision is him reborn

Am I crazy, or does Red Skull have pointy ears?

>that last panel
>"Oh no, I don't want to fight my boyfriend's dad."

He was is Robinson's Squadron Supreme wasn't he?

Frankly, he wasn't that bad a detective back in the Heroes for Hire days. Pretty good at tracking people down and giving them new door holes.

I can't tell who wants the other more, Namor or Satana.

Surprisingly a lot of places. He showed up again in West Coast Avengers John Byrne run, he's been part of the Invaders revivals he's has a major subplot in the Squadron Supreme book. Also Invaders if you are okay with Bronze age books.

I will go through any depths of Secret Empire shenanigans just for Spencer's Fixer/Zemo bants

>that second panel Troll

We've got all the sexy you could ask for, with Satana, and Troll is supplying the cute.

okay, that guy is straight out of Hellboy

is a negro?

Notice they keep mentioning "What's the worst thing we could do?" and "let's not screw with the past"?

Keep that in mind for the next few days.

>so your guess as to what he's doing is as good as mine.

Getting hit by the Bendis nerf bat I guess.
Danny's kinda magic, why not bring him?

I'm hoping to see if we get any Fixer/Steve bantz, honestly.

Hahahahaha!

They used to do the 5-6 ones annually, but I don't think so, no.

And we don't even get no Exiles no more, either.

Danny's probably picked up some things from K'un Lun, but he's hardly a magician, and this isn't anything he'd be familiar with.

Well intentioned racist Cap is best Cap

I'm surprised they haven't just tried to do an Avengers version of Exiles, since the premise alone is worth doing.

Mach 1 is a better looking suit than Mach V. Or Mach 10.