APOLOGIZE RIGHT FUCKING NOW

>saves your christmas with fun lil' raunchy flick guaranteed to make you piss your pants.

>That is not Tommy Wiseau.

I saw the Jumanji trailer in TLJ and now I wish I had seen it instead.

WHAT FUCKING RACE IS HE
This is bothering me so damned much

pacific islander like samoan or new zealand native

Who /RAUNCHY/ here?!

Seeking some RELEASE from numbing ANGUISH me and the boys rolled up to DAS KINOPLEX last night after a harrowing forty mile TREK through the frozen WRAITH-ZONE making it just as the ravenous TYRANT MOTHS began their pre-mating MANHUNT. The distant FOG-HORNS gradually being overtaken by the deadly, silken FLUTTERING of their sable WINGS.

The EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. The SHOWERS were pumping that good-ol' ZYKLON-B that gets you extra loose for the RAUNCHY fun; trying to hold your BREATH is good practice for trying not to PISS yourself later.

My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER', well worth the SEVEN HUNDRED and EIGHTY TWO dollars FIFTY for the TIP.

Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty but even the keening shrieks of the ORPHANED ONES couldn't drown out this raucous COM-BOMB.

When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro JONNY D as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH. I only had to wait THREE HOURS in the rank soup of run-off MEDICAL WASTE and avoid the TELEPATHIC SHARKS that make the sewers their HOME. It wasn’t so bad except for being driven MAD by the hungry WHISPERS of all the GHOSTS.

10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again!

Why, are you a Democrat that wants to complain about why he should be in more movies because of his race? Because he’s already in 75% of them.

Why don't you fuck off back to your containment board?
>HURR DEMOCRATS THIS
>HURR JEWS THAT
>HURRrrrrrrrDURRRrr
I used to like contemporary politics but you fuckers have made me not want to touch anything within the past 25 years with a 10 foot pole

can i join the /raunchy/ club dwayne?

He is a Mexican. He would have been perfect as Bane because Bane is supposed to be a giant Mexican wrestler and not some tiny white boy

Why would a motion picture cause me to involuntarily evacuate my bladder?

>I used to like contemporary politics
lol yeah right you juss a little bitch boy

Which one would you prefer Sup Forums?
>Litty movie made FOR THE FANS that critics HATE
OR
>TLJ which CRITICS LOVE (94% RT) but NOT MADE FOR THE FANS?

He's samoan

CRITICS are OUT OF TOUCH, and subhuman

>Jumanji
>genuinely terrifying

What the fuck is wrong with that woman

BASED rock DESTROYING OUT OF TOUCH critics And thots

she wuz a kid at the time.
in the movie robid williams is stuck in the game for years. thats scary imagine being a kid and finding Jumanji and then you get stuck in there

I was a kid when I watched it too, that's no excuse. It wasn't terrifying, when you're a kid you don't even think about what they're lives would have been like living in a board game. It was funny and sad at parts but definitely not scary.

> The heart and spirit
> (a few easter eggs)

Yeesh

To be fair the plant scared me as a kid, but that was more the fault of Little Shop of Horrors. The director's cut is one of my favorite movies now, but Audrey II used to scare the shit out of me.

getting stuck in the board game was a fairly scary idea. don't den I

That's not James Flamingo

nigger that plant.

BASED

Littynese

S E E T H I N G

Does Rock love foot-vagina?

t. Massive Tryhard

>say that to my face you little pussy bitch
based dwayne