ITT: Every joke in "The Last Jedi"

Post every JOKE you remember from the movie

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>"Now's not a good time."
>"Me neither"
>Kylo's dick hangs out

>"ur mum Hugs"
>Luke throwing the saber over his shoulder and storming off
>Luke drinking that sweet tit milk
>Porgs
>the cleaning ladies on Lukes island
>"reach out Rey, feel the force"
>"well yeah Jakku is pretty much nowhere"
>"lmao Kylo put on a towel u hunk"

>"Rey, I am your father"
>wink at camera
>pause for audience laughter to end
>"Oh Luke you are so crazy"

>"i fuked yur mum" - kike x-wing pilot

>I'm from nowhere
>Where?
>Jakku
>Ok that is kind of nowhere

Audience howled with laughter and clapped

>HAMMING IT THE FUCK UP

Audience should be purged.

>where dose glitter critters go

>here is your father's lightsaber
>tosses it

cringed so hard at him in the beginning

*fires a million rounds into Luke*
>Do you think we got him?
Notice why this joke landed and why it was funny: because it was an in-universe joke. It wasn't directed at the audience. Hux is making fun of Kylo's irrational behavior and it's completely natural. That's why it lands.

the whole movie

>Rey uses force to steal light saber from Snoke
>Snoke whacks Rey with it at the back of her head

>Did you read those ancient sacred text?
>well I leafed through them
>yeah they weren't page turners

>Kylo: Fire everything we have at that man!
>Seconds later
>Kylo: Keep firing!
>Hux: You think you got him?

>my father was a white man Rey everything he has built must be destroyed, in fact I should kill myself too
Went a bit too far there

This joke landed too because it was IN-UNIVERSE. It wasn't 4th wall breaking audience joke. It's a kind of joke that you or I would say to someone from Pakistan or something. It works.

>that conversation was between these two
Amazing what disney can do to great actors

Though he was a spic?

>"Did you get the master codebreaker?"
>"Uh... We got A codebreaker."
>"Please tell me his not white CIS scum..!"

that whole joke->plot point of parking the ship on the beach

>"Hey Finn, when I heard you'd disappeared I figured you must have knocked up one of these broads"
Did Poe go too far?

That movie was shit though. Maybe they're good actors, but I couldn't tell because of the utter shit plotline. Asimov wrote better sci-fi with his own shit on bathroom walls.

BRING IT ON CHROME DOME

>audience claps

arab

PT was childish and full of jokes but somehow that shit still was believable and felt in-universe. This doesn't feel in-universe at all. Very sad.

What was so cringe about this? There's a distinction between a character's dialgoue and movie dialogue. "Chrome dome" can just be attributed to Finn's nature not bad movie writing. It would be out of character if he said something like "Your time has come to an end, Captain Phasma!" because he's a more laidback character

HOL UP

>I guess I truly am the last jedi

>Audience howled with laughter and clapped
this the audience made me want to kms
and i was sitting next to a 10 year old dude with his family. His dad laughed harder at every slapstick joke

>BB8 hotwiring an ATST and killing dozens of troops

I legit almost left

Is it true he kills a guy with some casino chips?

>AY HOL UP, WE WUZ KINGS AN SHIT
-Luke Skywalker.

youtube.com/watch?v=jaaJyAjvajo

i didn't mind the reaching out joke or the jakku is nowhere one
i could see yoda doing shit like that, they felt like star wars humor rather than nudisneymarvel quips

You're wrong.

Knocks him out, more likely, and they're big gold coins instead of chips.

>I got a bad feeling about this

pleb

yeah it fit Luke, he always was a trickster

Every single intense scene was ruined by shitty "jokes". All the other Star Wars movies have had legitimate times of tension. The "humor" completely takes you out of what's supposed to be an intense fight scene

I was ashamed of myself for laughing at the porgs. Hopping on the lightsaber and staring at Chewie while he's trying to eat one of them were both funny.

audiences will be first to hang on the day of the rope

>smug apparition of Yoda
>"I-It's Yoda! Rememer him? Awh It's him omg..I'mgoing to cry, this is beautiful!"

AUDIENCE CLAPS, HOWLS AND EJACULATES

Yes

Luke's "dirt off your shoulder" move during the final fight was the worst one for me

Reminded me of pic related

I really did like Hux. He seemed like a smarmy boot licker just like the Imperial officers in the OT.

the movie was filled with so much unintentionally hilarious/retarded shit
>luke's milkies
>luke behaving like shrek defending his swamp
>superleia
>luke cockblocking kylo/rey
>"you cannot betray me"-man who gets betrayed
>kamikaze bombing
>anime battle between luke and kylo

you're just mad cause you can't tear up the fucking dance floor

>implying Hux isn't based

>characters are clearly in a serious, stressful situation.
>they all quip and banter like it was some high-school fight.
I blame marvel.

Pretty much. Why did he have a fucking coin slot in the first place?

the worst thing about the jokes in this movie was the timing, holy shit

can't we have a few seconds to chew on a serious moment without a le epic quip? so many big movies do this now. why are they so afraid of taking themselves seriously?

that's fair.
These were the best Georgie could come up with
youtube.com/watch?v=-Mbkgm-84pg
youtube.com/watch?v=hdMzeZOZ48Y

Yes but when you have every character making quips and jokes, it kind of kills the characterization of one character being the funny guy. For example, would have Han's lines been as good if everyone was being sarcastic?

He knocks him out.

>>Close up shot of landing gear
>>Landing gear lands and bellows out steam
>>Camera pans out
>>"Huh, so that's how they keep their clothes so stiff..."

>Han about to get frozen in carbonite
>"I knew I should have worn my hoth coat for this"

>"R2D2?"
>Blip Bloop
>"Hey! Watch the language! This is a sacred place."
>Bloop Bleep
>"There's nothing you can say to make me leave this island!"
>OT Leia hologram starts playing
>"You bastard..."

Probably the only time I laughed during the film besides Luke's face after milk tasting.
Some proper fan jokes

I clapped

The only scene I loved about the film, you definitely felt he had also love for the scene and the old Luke spirit came out with his tone

Hard to take fucking 'space wizards' seriously bro. This isn't the fucking 80s

I don't know if it was really a joke but I laughed at the dreadnought captain's look of general disgust as everything blows up

Because someone's going to try to argue against your post:
youtube.com/watch?v=rgyitSlMtMY
There are jokes "quips" in ESB and the rest of the OT, but it's willing to scale back the humor occasionally.

this guy has basically been reduced to a force punching bag
gets force slammed into the floor by snoke
gets force choked out by kylo and then later force slammed into the ground again by kylo

not gonna lie, I kek'd at that one.

I liked the iron thing a lot. Felt very much like the original trilogy having blue milk and stuff since it was just a space version of an otherwise mundane item. It also wasn't just "HEY 'MEMBER THIS FROM THE OLD MOVIES??" since it was something new. I felt the whole casino part was in that same vein, where it felt like a real Star Wars place without relying on references.

See

Did anyone else feel that this movie was
>Star Wars: The Last Guardian of the Galaxy?

I guarantee you Disney would make Luke quip after the "I am your father" line

>Wow, my black armoured dad ran out on me. What a surprise

I thought the Snoke vs Rey and Kylo part was well done in this regard. I can't recall any jarring quips in it.

That's what made it great tho, desu

I think he says, that's a low blow.

This was unironically kino though

Reach out joke was great, the rest was ass

Only good scene in the film. Genuinely.
Disappointed they didn't use R2 more now that he's woken up.

>Point every weapon at him
>pew pew pew
>that's enough supreme leader
>pew pew pew pew
>pew pew pew pew
>THAT'S ENOUGHyou think you got him?
>some audience members smugly laugh
>cloud of smoke dissipates, revealing Luke is alive
>NANI????????
>Clould starts standing ovation

if you didn't laugh at
you have no soul

It was so fucking predictable

crowd* fuck

THIS GIRL HAS SPUNK

How about when Rey pulls Anakin's saber and Snoke takes it back casually hitting her in the head before catching it???

That sort of things weren't what killed the film but definitely felt completly out of place

It was a kind of, well played face. Like he had respect that they actually pulled off their plan

Dude, the casino just felt like the Harry Potter universe

Wasnt a joke but I laughed when I realized it was actually leia still alive and not a ghost when she force pulled herself back into the bridge after being blasted and sucked into space long enough to start freezing. Any moment of weight in the movie undid itself instantly with either a joke or general movie main character bullshit

The island caretakers' cart being destroyed by the falling rocks was a legitimate top KEK though

Vader, not Luke

>Now, go to your room

>kill yourself so you dont have to work on this shit
>they use your cgi corpse in two more movies

>shot fired
>red explosion
Was I the only one retarded enough to think Luke died during the first shot?

That red sand looked like chunks of meat.

I'm pretty sure Luke told R2 to ''Watch his language'' or something to that account, I did kek.

The "ironing ship" visual gag was painfully bad.

I chuckle every time Leia is on screen because Carrie could not pull off the role of a general. She can only look like a washed up old coke addict now, seeing her trying to act is always comical.

She sounds like she's already been Fake Lip Read.

No. I was like, is that really how Luke dies? Then he lived and I thought, how the hell did he survive that?

Made me snicker. The timing was good on that one

That's not really a quip, and didn't feel out of place. It makes sense because Snoke is intentionally trying to show Rey she is a scrub. Rey comes in being all, "I am a Jedi! I'm uncorruptable! I'm going to kill you because you're the big bad guy!" and Snoke is toying with her to demonstrate how she's just as bad as Kylo Ren is, thinking that she's hot shit when she's not.

Movie does this in throne room as well. >Praetorian guard falls into laser blender
>Red chunks
>Armor is red
Impression of blood in a Disney movie, without actually being blood