RLM THREAD

Where does
>I'm dying Lauren!
Come from?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=pd6WVm3EEtE
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

The fact that these guys are still posted here amazes me. There's really no avoiding it, I've grown up, and Sup Forums simply remains infancy. Look, RLM are the living embodiment of the smug, detached Gen-X ethos. What do I mean by this?

Well, I'd venture to guess none of them has felt a single sincere conviction about anything since childhood. They exist as polyps upon the colon of culture, satiating themselves on the perceived failures of others (i.e. "The Man") while adding nothing new to the discourse aside from ironic complaint.

They're a group of insecure, lost, rapidly aging burnouts who silently believe they could do a better job of making films than the professionals in the industry. Yet they lack the ambition and ability to actually enter the very industry they're obsessed with. They choose instead to fuck around and make student film piss-takes well into middle age.

They are awful, awful people. I've met thousands just like them, and the last thing we need is for these people to gain any attention for their navel gazing.

Please, Sup Forums, do not aspire to become anything like these people. Theirs is a lonely and pathetic road leading to depression and a life devoid of real purpose.

I hope they disappear and their disaffected followers stop subsidizing their lifestyle. Perhaps that would force them to do something productive with themselves.

>inb4 some retard (incorrectly) goes hurrr reddit spacing, as though RLM threads weren't as reddit as they come.

h-how did you write this comment so fast??

from some guy who worked on an old movie with them, jay faked being sick and said that to get the girl, Lauren, to fuck or kiss him. something like that

>frog poster
>I've grown up
> Perhaps that would force them to do something productive with themselves.
>he posts this on a Lithuanian Glass-Blowing Forum

The fact that these guys are still posted here amazes me. There's really no avoiding it, I've grown up, and Sup Forums simply remains infancy. Look, RLM are the living embodiment of the smug, detached Gen-X ethos. What do I mean by this?

Well, I'd venture to guess none of them has felt a single sincere conviction about anything since childhood. They exist as polyps upon the colon of culture, satiating themselves on the perceived failures of others (i.e. "The Man") while adding nothing new to the discourse aside from ironic complaint.

They're a group of insecure, lost, rapidly aging burnouts who silently believe they could do a better job of making films than the professionals in the industry. Yet they lack the ambition and ability to actually enter the very industry they're obsessed with. They choose instead to fuck around and make student film piss-takes well into middle age.

They are awful, awful people. I've met thousands just like them, and the last thing we need is for these people to gain any attention for their navel gazing.

Please, Sup Forums, do not aspire to become anything like these people. Theirs is a lonely and pathetic road leading to depression and a life devoid of real purpose.

I hope they disappear and their disaffected followers stop subsidizing their lifestyle. Perhaps that would force them to do something productive with themselves.

cruel, but true

>enter thread
>all but one post is automatically filtered
Good start here, faggots.

Has anyone asked the RLM if all the stuff that the guy said about Jay crying like a bitch about Lauren and Mike fucking her real?????


or was it all lies?

this is lauren right?

>said that to get the girl, Lauren, to fuck or kiss him. something like that

No, Jay was in panic and Lauren, who usually hangs out with him, left him alone that night to go fuck some Chads or something.

That's Lisa, the girl Jay supposedly wanted to fuck that Mike swooped in and fucked.

Lauren is a platonic friend that Jay never tried to bone nor did she fuck Mike.

Top kek, that’s hilarious and true. But you also just described the majority of Sup Forums. Even worse, nobody on Sup Forums will ever even make it to RLM’s low stature.

I just started watching these guys. Mike seems cool, and Rich is alright I guess, but I dont like Jay or the bald guy. Jay seems like a pretentious, contrarian fuck and bald guy is just boring.

Why was young Mike so beautiful?

This pasta hates fun.

Jay is cool, Rich is the real contrarian he’s funny but I don’t really care about his opinion. Mike is the real reason I like it, I’m happy that he’s slowly losing his mind.

Lauren is the ginger then right???

How large are Mike's balls?

You know, I wish these guys would review more real movies, but I understand that that's not what gets the clicks, and they do this for money. I'm glad they do their yearly reviews. I would have completely overlooked A Ghost Story, but thanks to Mike and Jay I added it to my Amazon watchlist, and I'll watch it soon.

Old Plinkett > BoTW (Just picking whatever/Battle of the genres) = Scientist man > BoTW (Wheel of the worst/Plinketo) > Half in the Bag = New Plinket

the autism

Holy shit

You are a good judge of character.

yes, that was jay's response.

Imagine for a minute that you're Rich Evans.

You have sworn off alcohol and other substances. You were raised by your grandmother as a result of absent parents who had substance abuse problems. After watching their fractured lives you made the decision never to go down that road.

Sometime around HS you made a friend. He was interested in filmmaking and started to include you in his projects.

Then, as adults, he completed one project that sent his work into internet popularity. Pretty soon he became one of the most popular internet critics online. He decided to take you along for the ride.

You're living the good life, getting paid to talk about movies and vidya. Occasionally you contribute to their projects, doing odd-jobs that you learned to do before your new vocation as an internet critic.

And on the back of that popularity, your friend begins to crack under the pressure. He slowly succumbs to his alcoholism. At first it's cute. It gets laughs in the videos. But now he can't manage to film a segment without a drink.

You've seen this before. You've seen lives destroyed by alcohol. You're Rich Evans and you have to sit there, having lived this nightmare your whole life, as the dreams your friend worked so hard for, brought you along for, drain away with the bottle.

Once upon a time you were vibrant together. You had fun making videos. You were young and in love with life. Now you're fat and cynical, sliding into the grave on a path lubricated with vices.

You don't know whether to project your practically trademarked laugh, or whether to cry as it all falls apart. You don't know how to tell him that he's killing you both.

Where can I buy a Rich Evans mask?

Mike doesn't do his own dirty work.

JewJewio walked into his bathroom and found Rich Evans waiting for him with a gun. He told him to get on his knees and then stuck the pistol in his mouth. Asked if he believes in God, then let him know that no God would save him. Asked him to start begging, masturbated while he pleaded for his life. Put the barrel in his mouth and blew his top off. As he walked out he said to the room mate, "He killed himself. If I start hearing otherwise, you might kill yourself too."

Drove off in a 2003 gray Toyota Camry blaring "Boys in the Bright White Sports Car."

Rich Evans is a stone cold motherfucker.

jay is not going to watch movie that aren't horror films or schlock films (or both)
mike loves watching schlock films and films on the mumblecore spectrum, and movies like Jeff, Who Lives at Home. Mike shows disgust at movies that are very "dark" and he avoids them.
rich is a pleb, the schlock auteur that only loves big budget films
aidsmoby is on the jay/rich spectrum
the wizard is a completely pretentious fag

they will never review an animated movie or a war movie no matter how hard their fanbase will want it.

What's the origin of this meme?

>Rich Evans is a stone cold motherfucker.
can this please become pasta

>Michael "Mike" Stoklasa, also known as "Third Reich" Mike[1], Mike "The Nigger Grave Digger" Stoklasa[2], and Mike "the Milwaukee Mulatto Murderer" Stoklasa[3], is a prolific member of the Wisconsin cinephile and white supremacist communities. He is best known for his Plinkett Reviews, in which he humourously reviews films such as Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace[4] and Triumph of the Will[5].

>Though never convicted of any crime, the Milwaukee Police Department considers Stoklasa to be connected to the Walnut Street Lynchings of 1998-99.[26] Stoklasa has vehemently denied his involvement in the crimes. "No, I was absolutely not involved in that... tragedy. I find it disgusting that you would accuse me of such a thing merely because of my political and social values. If my testimony is not enough, my business partners Jay Bauman and Dolf Herrman can vouch for me. I offer my condolences to the families of the victim,"[27] Stoklasa said in court when questioned about the lynchings by prosecutor William Carpenter. After Stoklasa was found innocent, Carpenter told reporters afterwards that Stoklasa had a hint of a smile when he said "tragedy"[28] and that Herrman was hardly a trustworthy individual, having served time in prison for racially charged assaults and vandalism.[29]

>not recognizing stale pasta

a couple threads ago some user posted a picture of Lauren.

I think because he has, and i say this not as an insult because it seems look very good on him as a man, giant, woman's eyes. Have a look cover up the rest and look at his eyes in the OP pic looks like some Persian babe's eyes.

So I met Mike and Jay at a con a while ago, I went with my girlfriend. When we approached them Mike looked at me then at my girlfriend and said "The fuck you doing with this stupid cunt? Get with this dick or get raped you whore.", I was completely shocked and didn't know if he was joking so I stood in silence just not sure of what to say. Then a voice was heard from behind him "Oh Mike you found another goofball?", "Yeah Jay, this one looks like a complete dick head, his girlfriend is pretty banging though, I'd fuck her asshole", "Oh yeah, maybe we should fill his girlfriend's ass with goofballs so she'd know how much of a goofball he is". Right at that moment Mike jumped on my girlfriend and pulled her pants down, I tried to stop him but Jay jumped on me and held me down he started whispering in my ear "She's going to get the goofballs and you aint going to do nothing about it!", I watched on in horror as my girlfriend stared me in the eyes while Mike undressed her and rammed his fingers up her ass, she was trying to scream but Mike just kept pushing her head down. Mike looked at me and mouthed the word "Goofball", It was like a silent movie, I watched as Mike proceeded to pull out his testicles and force them into her anus with his hands. Jay who was still holding me down started to squeal into my ear "She's getting the goofballs", he started to twist my nipple as far as it could go, and I could feel blood trickling from it onto my shirt, I felt what I can assume was Jays boner pushing into my back... I blacked out.

Post your favorite RLM member

Mix Rich in there.

Can someone email this to them and ask them to fill it out? They didn't discuss what was written on the note, and it needs to be addressed.

>fatten up his tits

HOLY SHIT! Was your girlfriend okay? Did you call the police?

>so jake, what did you think of the movie?
>well I though the movie fucking sucked, it was a piece of shit, worst movie ever, BUT it wasn't terrible...

You just described what makes them so entertaining. It's like complaining that the seinfeld characters are jerks

>Jake reviews a movie with himself

...

for the millionth time, this isn't mike. people have posted the full video of this fight and you see that it isn't Mike Stoklasa punching a soyboy, as much as I wish it was

>Did you see it Mike
>I didn't see anything

Why did you do this?

>I couldn't tell where Mike Stoklasa stopped and Jay Bauman began. It was so beautiful, Jenny.

the redditfrog ruins the feel of the pasta desu

Lois, this is worse then that time those internet hacks came to visit

shut up jay

Mick was my favorite

for one, that;s the point, they're miserable fucks. Two, they're genuinely nice guys. I'm a film student in Milwaukee and I see them in coffee shops on occasion, they're really friendly guys

cursed image

>the porn rlm don't want you to know about!

>mfw not a single RLM soyboy KEK has successfully refuted this "richview", especially not the last paragraph

>Mike shows disgust at movies that are very "dark" and he avoids them
It was hilarious during the 2049 review where he had to admit that his edgelord demeanor was all fake and that he's really a big softie inside.

Heh

>I've met thousands just like them
>thousands

Is this the greatest porno ever made?

Out on the streets
Getting rid of la raza
Don't go messing with
Mike 'Third Reich' Stoklasa

So like, do you guys just make all of this drama up or what?

Gilchrist talked about it on a livestream.

/meatwulf/ General is best general

Half of these posts are made by Rich, Jay, and Aids Moby.

...

...

until ML3 comes out, yes
>the part where he's fucking her and then Tarantino breaks into the set and asks everyone "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

>Gilchrist
youtube.com/watch?v=pd6WVm3EEtE

how fucking short is this guy

5'10". "She" is 6'1".

My "review" of Reddit Letter Media

>posting in a friend simulator thread
>idolizing an aging group of youtube vloggers from Milwaukee
>he gives his real-life "friends" money every month

Rich
>an unemployed construction worker, the trick monkey fraud of the group. knows two tricks: forced laughter and becoming violent. brava, rich! brava!

Jack
>a failed viral marketer with an ugly wife and children with terrible names ('myson packard?'). he knows he's the least popular cast member and desperately tries to fit in by making fun of reddit on stream

Mike
>an over-the-hill "director" weighed down by his talentless friends. only makes "ironically bad" videos because they're immune to criticism. his latest production 'Space Cop' will expose him as a fraud and be a spiritual and economic disaster. he will eventually go the route of orson welles, balloon up to 500 pounds and die at the ripe age of 50.

Jesse
>the curdling definition of a parasite. ditters on her phone while the men do all the hard work. got caught buying jewelry with actual Patreon money.

Jay
>the only cast member showing any self-improvement or growth. still has a long way to go, but has already outgrown RLM.

I like how Reddit Letter Media is a company founded upon criticism, insulting and berating others and their works, but HEAVEN FORBID that anyone criticize them! They'll even ban you from their stream if they catch a whiff of dissatisfaction. It's amazing how creatively lazy the group has become. They were better when they were a starving group. Now they can sit on their fat asses, drink beer and make fart jokes while you throw money at the screen. Amazing.

quick rundown

>Mike not fat

good job Mike

>mike isn't fat

>myson packard
White people, like the jedi, need to end.

>It's not for everyone...I mean..it's definitely for some people but..
>no Mike..they will hate it because nothing happens, there's not enough jumpscares..not enough action, it's just booooring isn't it?
>yes Jay, of course
>I mean, Mike, you can't be on your cellphone during this, and you have to actually pay attention. Do you get it yet? We're making fun of everyone who doesn't enjoy this thinking man indie/obscure/artsy/deep film. Only we can enjoy such things
>This is funny, we should do this in every episode
>oh my gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww-

>BNNN DINIIH DINIIH DINIHH NIHH NIHH
>CREATED AND HOSTED BY MIKE STOKLASA AND JAY BAUMAN

who here prays to Eloise Cole, in the hopes of death

Why can't Mike lose weight?

That's right, Jay!

>being so unoriginal that you copy right from Encyclopedia Dramaticia

I too would also like to buy a Rich Evans mask

>wanting to wander the Earth forever as a grief clown
Cut that shit out right now and burn some cream pies at an altar made of balloons and cleanse yourself in seltzer. You need to separate your soul from her grasp.

He's wired like a fat person. They're just psychologically different.

Because he hasn't cut beer out of his diet

>ywn abduct Mike and starve him until he is skinny again

>actually reading Encyclopedia Dramaticia

Reddit is where you belong bucko

...

>This happened five years ago

I've been here too long lads.

I am eating literally one very normal meal a day, no junk food, sometimes (like twice a week on average) one small plastic glass of beer to help me sleep. I've got back 20 pounds I lost two years ago. I don't eat bread by the way, and I haven't eaten pizza in three years.

It's a combination of age slowing down metabolism and absolute lack of movement. I should do cardio but I sincerely think if there is one thing gayer than being gay, is running.

>I should do cardio but I sincerely think if there is one thing gayer than being gay, is running.
The gayest thing is sitting on your ass and not doing anything you fat lazy piece of shit, just do some cardio already.

5'6" is listed on imbd

so assume 5'4" to 5'5" as real height.

I work from home, and that's all the work I'm willing to put. I went from 189 to 160 in six months when I was 29, and I still didn't do any cardio. Now that I'm 32, that's just no longer possible, so I can see how Mike who eats fried chicken and drinks beer got so fat.

>I should do cardio but I sincerely think if there is one thing gayer than being gay, is running.

As I said, fat people are wired differently.

Cardio can accelerate arterial plaque formation if you blood is full of the stuff that causes it.

Why are these threads especially bad now?

>morbidly obese manchild
>always wears comic shirts, but cant answer ANY comic question Jay or Mike have
>has a video game show, but says stupid things like 3D mario games shouldn't have controllable cameras and is blatantly bad at video games in general
>thinks being a cynical, nitpicking autist is the same as intelligence
>flat out didn't understand basic character motivations for Civil War despite being a huge MCU fan
>starts REEEEEEing when chat constantly BTFOs him
>nostalgiafag who only likes shit from his youth
>has an obnoxious "I fucking love science" attitude
>can't pronounce words
>forced catchphrases
>meme laugh
>actual plebbitor
>has a tranny fiance
>unironically calls himself a male feminist ally
>allows Mike to bully him on a daily basis
>supports people being tracked by the government with chip implants
>only ever funny by accident when he fucks up and gets made fun for it, his real sense of humor is "lel so randumb XD" tier
>claps at the end of films

So, we can all agree that Rich Evans is the worst RLM crew member, right?

one of the few pastas that is both true and sincere