Whats the worst thing you have done in a theater

Whats the worst thing you have done in a theater

>want to go see the new bladerunner after my class at college
>buy ticket
>sit down and get comfy
>only two other guys in theater, both alone
>Immediately feel horny for whatever reason, trying to no fap
>start playing with myself
>tell myself i wont cum or anything, it just feels good
>playing with myself throughout most of the movie then the scene where the replicant gets born out of the plastic thing
fuck it
>start jacking hard and cum cum in my hand
>wipe it on the seat next to me, under it and behind it
>enjoy the rest of the movie and leave
Still feel bad about it desu

>2049
>i am forgotten

> go alone
> don't buy overpriced snacks

That's fucking depraved. You know the guy operating the camera can see you right? He was probably jerking it to you jerking it.

probably passed it around the the security email chain

Do you know what year it is? Nobody operates the cameras anymore, you hit play and that's it.

>don't know what year it is
there are cameras everywhere in theaters plus undercover security sitting with you trying to prevent the next mass shooting

Spread some tacks on the cinema seats

Is that sam

>Go to watch Blade Runner one evening cause I finally got time.
>Nobody else in the theater, just two others.
>Sit down with a big ass cherry coke and popcorn, never will understand why I love movie theater popcorn so much.
>As I watch the movie and eat, I start noticing something moving in the bottom of my eyes.
>Look down in front of me, and some guy looks like he is having a seizure.
>His shoulder and arm are moving and he's leaned back.
>Slowly it dawns on me that the man must have mental problems and for some reason he has began to mentally retarded masturbate.
>He wipes the seat in front of him and sighs.
>As I leave I tell the boy who cleans the theater a guy just jacked off all over a seat and leave.
>I hear "FUCK" as the door opens and I leave.
>See same man in the parking lot still masturbating beside a tree as he waits for his mom to pick him up.
>Envy such freedom.

i prefer this version

One time in a relatively empty theatre I pissed on the floor in the back row to avoid going to the bathroom and missing parts. It was a particularly stinky piss and people were obviously annoyed knowing that someone pissed in the theatre.

People like you are the reason we have a no singles policy

If I caught you masturbating in the theater I would do everything in my power to make sure you are criminally punished you fucking sad sack of shit

t. wagecuck

I don't work at a movie theater. I'm a lawyer you fucking college loans cuck.

>I'm a lawyer
t. wagecuck

>Be 16
>Be seeing girl who is down for anything
>Go to watch Benjamin Button in the cinema
>She sucks my dick for almost the entire duration
>Aisle seat, she is next to a wall and I have people to my right
>Cinema is packed, people for sure could see
>As the credits start to roll quickly make myself cum because the lights will come on
>Biggest load of my life, she can't even swallow it all cos it barely fits in her mouth
>Spits it down the side between the seat and the wall

Some poor kid had to clean that up. Also I peaked at 16, haven't done anything that exciting since. Had a 'points' game with friends where we got points for sexual acts, augmented by stuff like doing it in public, taking photos etc. Pretty cringeworthy but for a 16 year old kid it was a dream

Farted

That's pretty hot, how did you last the entire film?

This deserves a few (you)s so here is my one, you poor soul.

he didn't say he was american though

I was on antidepressants and Xanax so somehow could last basically indefinitely (especially with head) while still being able to get it up cos lol 16.

>asparagus diet on point
user, women give shit head, especially some 16 yr old with minimal experience

>Watching BR2049 in the theater
>The other patrons have been respectful for the whole movie
>K checks his shirt. He's still bleeding. It's implied he realizes he is dying. I think this is a pretty subtle end as he leans back and rests in the snow
>Tears in Rain starts to play
>The music instantly ruins the subtlety of the scene and I can't suppresses my feelings
>"Fucking stupid!" I shout and then slip into incredulous laughter
>Instantly realize I've ruined the experience for the other patrons

>Be me, a theater chair
>Someone sits on the chair next to me
>Just relax cuz I'm not being used, zone out to the music and dialogue
>This weirdo faggot wipes cum all over me

is that bailey

Once bought my mom a ticket so me and a friend could see a R rated movie, all she demanded was popcorn to munch on, she left shortly after the movie started.

One time when i was a shitty teen, me and a bunch of friends were seei g Cloverfield, it got to the part with the cast in the Helicopter as it gets smacked outta the sky by the monster. I somehow timed it perfectly to scream "BOOM" the second the Heli crashed, I freaked everyone in the first couple back rows out.

Also made out with my GF in highschool for nearly the entire duriation of "The invisible" not sure how comfortable my friends and their dates were but I didnt give a fuck

>Be me, a sperm
>Waiting eagerly for my chance
>Maybe this loser will actually shoot me into something that isn't a tissue
>Feel the rumblings, here it goes
>Nope his hand again
>Wipes me on a velvety chair and I have to watch some fucked up birth scene knowing I will never make it to the egg

She was some of the best head I've had actually. No gag reflex, actually likes dick, eager to please. Women become cynical lazy bitches as they get older. It's pulling teeth to get some of then to even give a bit as foreplay

>quantum of solace
>rip loud as fuck fart in the middle of it
>some dudebroa a few rows away burst laughing