ITT: we pretend to be jigsaw announcing retarded traps

Hello user, I want to play a game.
You look at futanari hentai everyday and it has caused great trauma to your loved ones as they questioned your sexuality.
in the next room is a innocent young woman standing on a weighted button to open the door to your freedom.
You must take the saw on the table and cut off your penis.
You must then use the surgical equipment provided to attach your penis to the girl creating a real life futa and making her heavy enough to activate the button to open the door through which you may both escape.
LIVE OR DIE, CHOOSE

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youtube.com/watch?v=RH1ekuvSYzE
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>thread theme

youtube.com/watch?v=OFDLY2ax7L8

> Hello user...I want to play a game.
> Each night, after your parents go to bed you post threads about underage transsexuals in order to fulfill your sick desires
> In front of you is a sequence of buttons that correspond to an animation
> You must now press the buttons in sequence in order to demonstrate the creation of a neo-vagina, while performing the surgery on yourself at every step without anesthesia
> If you don't, the oxygen will be sucked out of this room so you die a painful death
> LIVE OR DIE, MAKE YOUR CHOICE

>Hell user
> Every day you repeatedly post BANE? on Sup Forums, today you don't get to bring friends.
> If you listen closely, you will realize you are on a plane currently flying on auto-pilot. The flight plan lists just ONE, OF YOU. There are other Baneposters hearing the same message. >The last one standing will be granted his life.
> All kills must be done by shooting an individual before throwing them out of a plane.
> You must recite the plane scene as you do so.
> Failure to do any of this will activate the mask I've secured to your face, crushing your head. It would be extremely painful regardless of your size
>LIVE OR DIE, CHOOSE

>implying suffocating to death is worse than giving yourself a vagina with no anesthesia

Come on, user.

Most people don't wanna die my man

nice

>Hello user ... you must now leave Sup Forums forever.
>Sign up at your local gym but it shall not be Planet Fitness.
>Buy books about lifting, nutrition, study the ways of body building & cooking healthy meals
>work out at least 3 times a week
>stick to a diet that is perfect for your current physique, adapt accordingly
>get a haircut
>buy new clothes and go for quality over quantity
>apply for at least 50 jobs in the next 4 weeks
>get a job
>start approaching women in a respectful manner
>get at least 50 numbers in the next 6 months
>have sex within the next 6 months
>have a girlfriend within the next 12 months
>If you don't ... you will be stuck on this website forever and a pathetic and lonely death
>LIVE OR DIE, CHOOSE

Just fucking kill me and be done with it.

Umm that doesn't sound too bad, Jigs

its torture hehehehe

...

11/10

Thanks. Gonna start this today Jigs.

So, what's stopping me from just activating the button? I think you didn't think this one through, Jigsaw-kun.

Hello user, I want to play a game. Currently, the matriarch of your family is in a deep slumber. In front of you is a computer screen displaying Thread No. 93881076 on Sup Forums where the instructions to this game are in full in one of the replies to OP. Though I cannot tell you the nature of her possible demise, I can tell you how it can be avoided. Simply reply to the post. Immunities are futile. LIVE OR DIE, CHOOSE.

Very nice abstract thinking.

Hello Sup Forums. I want to play a game.
In your life you have relentlessly insulted and harassed people who enjoy superhero films, denigrating their taste and insinuating that they are your intellectual lessers.
You now find yourself strapped in place, unable to avert your gaze from this screen. In a few moments, the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe series will begin playing, back to back. You have also been connected to a polygraph machine to track your emotional state.
If you last the entire series of films without being entertained, then you will be set free, as your disdain will have proven to be genuine. However, if you are amused, shocked, surprised or otherwise engaged in the experience, then your past behaviour will have been proven to be so much posturing and vitriol, possibly even over movies you haven't even seen.
Live or die, Sup Forums, live or die..

easy for me because i never shit talk capeshit. I am genuine about it and refer to it as escapism kino for when i need some time off from reality.

>In a few moments, the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe series will begin playing, back to back.
I'd rather just die now please

Only a sick fuck like Hoffman would come up with an unwinnable trap like this

...

...

Hello user, I want to play a game.
You reply to humorous content online by saying your "sides are in orbit", when you haven't even cracked a smile. Without honest feedback, content creators can't learn how to better provide for their audiences. You are directly responsible for the onslaught of bad content found on the internet.
In front of you is a weather balloon capable of reaching orbital altitudes which will take off in 60 seconds. Attached to the balloon are two lengths of razor wire sewn through your sides. To free yourself and live, pull the wire out through the guidelines drawn on your skin. Should you fail this task, the wire will severe your arteries as it is lifted by the balloon, and you will exsanguinate within minutes.
Live or die, user, live or die..

Hello I wanna play a game

Everyday you post /ptg/ threads even though you know damn well Trump has betrayed us every chance he gets. You borderline meaningless life is measured only by how many "keks" you do. In this room is a weight scale, and a tool to measure your skin color. If you are over 350lb and any color besides white, the dildo will shoot outta the floor and puncture your anus so greatly you will be ripped in two. Let the game begin

Fuckin wierdos, I tell you what.

Fuck you jigsaw

What happens when people try to reply to these but the thread 404's?

Fuck off jigsaw you cunt

>enters a thread, with the stated goal of, "post your stupid trap ideas".
>complains that a trap idea is stupid.

Hello Review Screw, I want to play a game, you spend all your nights on Sup Forums spamming how BR 2049 is the epitome of dishonest filmmaking, while praising Dunkirk.

You have to make a choice now, in this room, you have Dennis Villeneuve chained to a wall. In the other room, there's Christopher Nolan in a water tank that's slowly filling up.

in your throat, there's a device that will detonate in 10 minutes. If you live, you will be able to free yourself and Nolan, but there's the catch : only french-canadian cum can stop the device from detonating, you'll have to suck Dennis Villeneuve good enough that you'll make him cum and swallow his load.

LIVE OR DIE, CHOOSE

Are these the people I share this board with?

>you wanna play a game, faggot?

>debrained user accidentaly posts better plot than Saw 8 had

Congrats!

also, check my triple dubs

fuck

Yeah I’m gonna hafta go with suffocating rather than voluntarily slashing my pelvis to bits and dying in excruciating pain from blood loss

Why when it comes to exercising its always the bodybuilding approach??

i practice boxing and its also a good activity to have a healthier life.

>Hello user... I want to play a game.
>During all your life you have dedicated endless hours into different virtues in which you redeem yourself virtuous.
>The hard reality is that you just try to fast forward the day until the noon where you smash yourself full of vodka and smoke, letting your virtues rot in the limbo of hangovers and munchies in the middle of a tuvalean crableg tuition forum in which you show your hatred and despite for all the true life in form of memes.
>In your anus its inserted a full bottle of vodka laced with fentanyl, xanax and psilobicin. Your fingers are trapped exept your thumbs. If you want to retire the bottle of your apathic ass you will have to bite your fingers off and retire softly the bottle of your ass using only the thumbs. If you fail a boot will kick your lazy ass and break the bottle, and I will upload your high ass dying to liveleak.

>LIVE OR SHITPOST YOU DECIDE

>I want to play a game
>you have wasted your life spewing the most disgusting things about actresses' feet
>I have summoned them here today, and place dick biting contraptions on each of their soles. You will notice you are naked.
>Can you resis the urge to rub your neglected penis on the object of your desire? Will you walk out this room with your dick still intact?
>win or lose, you decide

I would rather die than have my penis and balls cut up and turned into a festering wound without anesthesia. I don't really think I'm alone in that.

>Why when it comes to exercising its always the bodybuilding approach??
back the fuck off!?!?

Brainlet wojaks are just body horror at this point.

i dont think thats a brainlet wojak dude

>play a game
>You often like to spam "traps are gay" in anonymous basket weaving forums
>You are now forced to watch 4k videos of glorious boipussi penetration
>During this session, your brain activity will be monitored
>If there is any release of dopamine in your brain, then by your own definition you are gay!
>Are traps gay or straight, you decide

Do I at least get washroom breaks and food to eat?

>fuck the women
>don't touch their feet with my dick
>leave
>???
>profit
Your move tricycle puppet man.

>i get hit in the head all day
>im healthier guys

You're literally retarded famajam

>hi, let's play a game
>it's monopoly
>please don't leave I'm so painfully alone

boxing = patrician fighting style, nothing else even compares. i might start getting into it myself soon. long ass arms and i did a bit as a kid so i might even be good at it

Fuck you

Hello, user. I want to play a game.

>It seems you like to be a fan of telling lies.
>For over a decade you proclaimed that it was a just an "unfunny meme" that the Playstation 3 did not have any games.
>This led to countless other anons purchasing a Playstation 3 only to find out the hard way that you fooled them.
>There is a vortex bomb surgically implanted into your rectum which when activated will cause a nearby pallet full of Nintendo Switch consoles to be violently sucked into your abdominal cavity.
>In the next room is a PS3 and a television
>If you can find a game to play on the PS3 within an hour, the bomb will be deactivated, at which point you may leave.
>If you cannot, the bomb will be activated.
>LIVE OR DIE, YOU CHOOSE

What a blast from the past.

Somebody make one for avatar haters/cameron deniers

because lifting is just a more socially acceptable form of isolation

Oh goddamnit

Was Jigsaw a good movie?

damn...

enjoy dementia at 35

It was alright, for some reason didn't have the same grimmy feel of the original movies, but wasn't as retarded as 7.

Jokes on you im a phoneposter

whats a computer?

>saw weighs as much or more than my own penis
>make girl hold saw
>create neovagina on leg instead of in dick area
i've been training for this moment my entire life
stay on the website
@93884352
im to strong brained for this
i constantly think about the amount of money rdj is making off of every single move to stay in a shitty state
both will kill me i attach only 1 balloon and float to safety

Jokes on you my phone isn't in front of me

youtube.com/watch?v=RH1ekuvSYzE

Wow jigsaw you’re such an asshole

wtf is this why are there duplicate ips?

because a post gets deleted?

You will only get brain damage if you box a lot i have seen people that trains but never spars, also if you have a good trainer he will teach you good defense and not being a human punching bag.

Are you saying the average Sup Forums penis is heavy?
>because in the last 10 years all i've seen are shitposting micropenises

continue anons this threads makes me want to still live