Hello, Donald. For years...

Hello, Donald. For years, you've enjoyed your two scoops of ice-cream while the unfortunate souls around you suffered only one. I want to play a game. The device you are wearing is hooked into both of your ear canals. When the timer goes off, the sound of my audience's laughter will be emitted directly into your head with such volume that the sound waves will liquefy your brain. You will require two keys to open the device. In your right hand, you have an ice-cream scoop with a razor sharp rim. On your abdomen, I have marked two X's. How much will you enjoy these two scoops? Better hurry up. Live or die, make your choice.

kek

fucking lol

Today we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Drumpf Purification Directives.

We have created for the first time in all history a late night line-up made of pure ideology, where each viewer may clap, secure from the pests of any alternative true facts.

Our Unification of late-night is more powerful a weapon than any imageboard or twitter feed on earth.

We are one show, with one perspective, one will, one resolve, one scoop.

Our enemies shall troll themselves to death and we will bury them with their own memes.

WE SHALL PREVAIL!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY FUCKING SIDES ARE IN FUCKING ORBIT HOLY FUCKING FUCK SHIT!!!

bonjour reddit

you have to go back

JUST

>donald trump just fired comey
HUGE APPLAUSE
-zzzt this is the dnc. they weren't supposed to react that way. correct them immediately and disseminate the official position
>uhh must be a lot of trump supporters here because we love comey

Only Colbert thread on Sup Forums to make me laugh, good fucking work

BASED FUCKING Nu/pol/!!!

lel
Jesus, RIP Blompf

It's fucking hilarious when the audience wrongthinks and has to be corrected by him. It happens semi regularly.

8/10

So....

Sup reddit my man

...

>taking the bait this hard
Reddit

How's your first day been reddito

*nods respectfully towards you*
well done m'sir

...

heh merely pretending to be upset? a great tactic msir ;)

...

Bump for reddit salt.

Nu/pol/

Based.

You clearly don't know what bait means.

imagine being this butthurt, making threads about him every day

Lol

4channers Sup Forums again

hola reddito

>too asspained by politics to enjoy this daring synthesis
You live a sad little life

'OLY FUG

wtf I hate trump now

Well, well, Gruncy. You think you've won, haven't you? I'm honestly impressed. TWO scoops? TWO of them, while the rest of us only get one? Bravo, Grangle. Bravo.

HOWEVER

You DO realize that you're going to be impeached,
don't you, Dongus? It's only a matter of ti-

>Audience starts clapping
Wait, what are you doing?

>clapping grows louder
No.... T-This can't be happeni-

>Ladies and Gentlemen of America, I have an announcement.
NO.... I-IT CAN'T BE... H-HE CAN'T....!

>I, Donald J. Trump, am currently in possesion of eight, count 'em, EIGHT scoops.
NOOOOOOOOOO! OH GOD... OH GOD, WHY? DRIMPY... DRIMPY DUNGUS.... I-IMPEACH! IMPIIIIIIIIIEEEEAAAAAAAAYYAAAAARRRRGHHHHCAN'TBEHAPPENINGTOME.... EIGHT SCOOPS... EIGHT SCHOOOOOOPS! SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS! DRUUUUUUUUNGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS

Redditor OUT

lmao

kys yourselves Sup Forumstards

Is colbertposting making a comeback?

God I can't wait to browse Sup Forums the day Trump resigns. It will be legendary. The meltdown to end all meltdowns. The pained howls of "deep state" will echo throughout Sup Forums for eternity.