watching Hacksaw Ridge in theaters

> watching Hacksaw Ridge in theaters
> several Japs get lit up by flamethrowers
> I say, “ouch that’s gotta hurt!”
> everyone laughs

its people like you who ruin cinema these days with your snarky quips trying to seem funny in exchange for real life (You)s from worthless normies. i roll my eyes and picture you going home and making a thread with a frog picture every single time.

>Implying you pass the no singles policy

>watching Titanic re-release in theaters
>it hits the iceberg
>”Houston we have a problem!”
> everyone claps

>"ouch, thats gotta hurt!"
>not "wow, sick burn!"

you were a c average student weren't you

> year 2001
>watching 9/11 on the news
>first tower falls
>”ouch that’s gonna leave a mark!”
>my father sheds a tear

>Gotta Ouchi
>Hafuta Gotodokta

>asian woman appears on screen
>yell out "OOH ME SO HORNY"
>someone pats me on the back

>watching any movie in theaters
>someone dies
>laugh and slap my knee

>watching Blade Runner 2049
>”you look like a good Joe”
>”ouch that’s gotta hurt!”
>theater immediately reeks of piss

>man getting a blowjob on screen
>”I’ll have what he’s having!”
>someone spills their coke

>watching space jam at the local kinoplex
>"bugs.. easy on the carrots"
>laughter sweeps the audience, chad sitting next to me gives me a high five

>watching Fast and Furious
>cars start going fast
>I yell VRRRMMM VROOOMM VVVRRRRMMMMOOOAHHHHH VROOM VROOM VROO!!!
> guy next to me spits out his corona

>characters in a movie start to fall in love with each other
>SHEEESH GET A ROOM YOU TWO
>audience claps and begins dancing in the clapping intermission

some kid in my class (middle school) said "maybe aliens did it" on the day it happened and everyone got mad at him.

based

Technically aliens did

>Russ is mowing Marty's lawn
>yell out "that's not the only thing he will be mowing ;^)"
>complete silence
>realize I'm home alone talking to the tv again
>even the cat walks out of the room

>watching Event Horizon on premiere night in 1997
>opening credits
>I stand up and shout "I'M PICKLE RIIIIIIIICK!"
>no one gets it
I invented Pickle Rick.

>watched Life of David Gale
>Kate Winslet got down to the floor
>said "Yes!"
>woman next to me looked at me
I still feel ashamed

>Watching Alien 1979
>Alien starts popping out of the guy
>Yell out loud "The alien is popping out of the guy!"
>Everyone in the audience groans and tells me to shut up.

Are you my wife?

I’d beat the shit out of you

Whazzzzupppp

Pickle Rickers in the house tonight.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn