Oh shit. So Snoke was Luke the whole time?

Oh shit. So Snoke was Luke the whole time?

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>that bulge
Why is he so perfect?

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fag

He looks so dreamy...

we never deserved hammy

What a twist!

I would be a fag if I wanted to fuck big bear men. Having a healthy appreciation for the twink of the century is not faggy whatsoever.

Good point. If the guys are attracted to are all feminine guys, it's pretty obvious that I prefer feminine traits but just don't get hung up on gender.

heeey mr. tambourine man play a song for me

Formerly

He's still so pure and innocent to this day. Even his politics are those of a dreamy college student untouched by the world.
What went right?

a bloke

>Having a healthy appreciation for the twink of the century is not faggy whatsoever.
the absolute state of soy boys

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You are a faggot plain and simple. There is no other way around it.

There are 2 genders Male and Female. Anything else is pure ideology based on wish thinking of pseudo academics. The fact that you believe their bullshit shows your stupidity.

You are not special just a faggot, accept that you are a faggot and get on with life.

Snoke is Bigger Luke.

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If I'm the one reaming his cunny(male) with all the brute jungle strength of Jamal, am I still a soyboy?

Snoke looks like Lucifer from SMTIV

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Yes, all of the words you use show you are a soy boy

"There are two genders!"
Okay then I choose female.

You didn't really think through this "clever BTFOing" of the trans community very well, did you?

dang what happened to his elbow?

>"There are two genders!"
>Okay then I choose female.
>You didn't really think through this "clever BTFOing" of the trans community very well, did you?

You choose to pretend to be female, transgender-ism is a mental illness that can be medicated, get help.

"No!"

it's the face that i'm more interested in. he's so handsome back then. so sad he's not handsome anymore. ;_;

>so sad he's not handsome anymore.
Yes he is though.

In SMTIV, Lucifer is reduced to masquerading as a Japanese high school girl and needs to fuse with one of your friends to regain his true form. This involves devouring him and storing his remains in his elbow, which later bursts open and reveals that a screaming mini Satan baby is attached to it.

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he has arthritis

you either haven't seen him in the past decade or so or you have a wrong definition of handsome. or you have unnatural fetish for old wrinkly people.

>ywn have a threesome with prime Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill

fugg
him being a luke clone makes a lot of sense

*strokes chin*
So they brought Luuke into the new canon?

Luke is c-cute

That feel when the arthritis kicks in

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>that bulge
The Virgin Snoke vs the Chad Master Jedi

>Mattis
Interesting name to choose.

He was Luuuke

I only watched that shit last night since I was waiting for a decent quality torrent - holy shit what a trainwreck.
>dem tweeeeeests
>dem le epic jedi projections
>dem totally® believable™ romances
>dem stronk womyns who don't need no space
>all that merchbait
>those fucking monkeychickens
>that ugly fucking Sue couple

Ep 9 will be even worse won't it.

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I actually like this twist.
>Snoke was a manifestation of Luke's dark side
>Throne Room Snoke™ was an astral projection

No. That's just how people dressed in the 70s.

No, probably not.

Bleh

please
What else can happen!

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I'm not sure how it could be worse. Its like they just forgot to write episode 8. Characters are constantly teleporting, the plot is built around a tense chase which is just slowboating in space for several hours (no one thinks to just have one the fleet hyperspace out and back real quick to close the distance even though the plot is built around fin doing exactly that), the not-hoth battle doesn't serve a single fucking point, the entire "find luke" plotline serves no point, snoke turns out to serve no point what so ever. The movie is like deranged fanfiction.

At least fanfiction attempts to have some internal consistency. I genuinely have no idea what Rian Johnson was trying to do. It's like he didn't care all that much about Star Wars but wanted to have a little masturbatory exercise as a filmmaker to he read the SparkNotes and thought "Yeah sure, I can do that."

And on top of that, it is extremely irritating the way he hasn't even attempted to defend the film against the criticisms you have listed but has been more than happy to strawman complaints that nobody was making. Like, we're in the Twitter age and filmmakers are literally able to defend themselves on Twitter. Jordan Vogt-Roberts did it very well with his film a few months back. But Rian Johnson? He's trying this dishonest shit.

It really sucks. I wanted to like this film more after my immense disappointment with TFA. But they somehow managed to come up with something even worse.

time to get in a car crash, Luke

Mark Hamill just got a star on the Walk of Fame. He's fine.

>old wrinkly people
Are you aware that aging is a natural biological process? I bet you won't look half as good as him when you're 66.

Considering he's a 66 year old man that suffered a disfiguring car crash in his youth and was obese for 20 years before Disney got him in shape for Star Wars, he looks phenomenal.

>gives Snoke a gold bathrobe
Really who the fuck designed this?

Dutch

Disgusting, but also interesting.

>He'll be fine

>The Russia investigation will end any day now

I genuinely believe Rian tried to fuck with Disney and the fanbase for some reason.

Makes about as much sense as any other theory at this point.

My theory is that Rian secretly hates Star-Wars, and like any pseudo-intellectual he made a movie to subvert the things the series represents thinking people are too dumb to notice.

Also, I doubt IX will be worse than this. The movies literally screams that they hate the nerd fanbase who made Star Wars timeless to begin with. TFA was unoriginal, but at least I could sense the love for the OT in it.

So when exactly are they going to reveal that Luke is gay and make Biggs: A Star Wars Story featuring a softcore sex scene with CGI prime Hamill?

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That son of a bitch

>Rian hates Star Wars

This is the plebeian, superficial interpretation of the movie spouted by wikifags and EUautists who are upset that their obtuse and out of touch interaction with the franchise was called out for how retarded it is

if Rian Johnson hated Star Wars he wouldn't have ended the movie with kids playing with Luke Skywalker action figures who use the legend of Star Wars to dream of better things and to improve their own lives

I don't get it. What's he referencing?

How the fuck Mark unJUSTED himself so greatly in so little time? He looked 75 and was fat as fuck, and now he isn't only in an amazing shape, he also looks and moves like he is on his 50's.

I really hope he don't let himself slip again.

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kek

I like TLJ because of how it links with Kotor 1 and 2, so do all my other EUfag friends.

Nutritionists and personal trainers paid by Disney whipped him into shape

He's gained a little bit of the weight back since then, though. He was super trim and fit when TFA came out, now he just looks like a healthy older man who occasionally likes a beer or nice meal a few times a week

>tfw Mark starts stress eating because of anger at Rian and Trump

t.newfag

How the fuck does it link with those?

Nah. Mark is like the Punisher. He turns his anger into something productive.

It was the "KOTOR2" of the movies. Stupid shit that "subverts" what Star Wars is because suberting = good.

Dude, the happy tone ending is a obligation disney imposes on their films, I'm sure that was the overlords forcing Rian to do it.

Like come on. The movie ends with almost all the rebels killed, shipless, losing a secret base, their long lost hero dead, and one week ago five planets with billions of people were blown to hell. The movie ending with the rebels making a power-rangers pose and smiling, and showing slave kids playing in a fucked planet was ridiculous. The tone completely didn't added up well the facts, and it only felt weird and lame, like the bike cuck meme, but in a movie. "I lost terribly, but I'm OK".

dillion's epic handshake with dutch and how he was a son of a bitch

>Kylo and Rey mirror Revan and Bastila
>Luke cut himself off from the Force like Meetra Surik
>it's shown multiple times that the Jedi are full of shit and the Jedi order is inherently corrupt and needs to end
Kreia and old Luke would probably have a good fug.

I hate you Luke

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>>it's shown multiple times that the Jedi are full of shit and the Jedi order is inherently corrupt and needs to end
By this logic you should also like the prequels?

Rian Johnson doesn't even look like a bad guy. He seems like a pretty chill director. But people really like projecting their fantasies of the most vile liberal they can possibly imagine on him, because a fucking franchise about space and lasers is the perfect place for people to obsess over politics. Apparently.

>implying I don't

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In the prequels the Jedi aren't full of shit or inherently corrupt. As an insider, the watcher knows that, and knows that in no moment the Jedi council made ill hearted decisions, or mistreated anyone.

>b-but muh master Windu trying to kill Palpatine, when Luke is showed as a bad guy for killing Dooku

Totally diferent situations. Dooku arrested would be a card off, and could face a fair punishment, while Palpatine owned the entire political sphere at the moment, and his defeat trought democratic means would be impossible.

Don't compare my patrician prequels to your shitty game.

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>Snoke is actually a clone of Luke
>Luke ran away to ach-to because he knew that facing his clone would disrupt the force or some shit
>Snoke needs Kylo to do his dirty work because, as well as disrupting the force, Luke and Snoke facing each other would potentially kill them both
Fuck, that would have been a nice twist...

Autists decided they were going to hate these movies back in 2012 when Disney bought the franchise

Anything since is just selective interpretation to support their confirmation bias

He said while posting anime

If you see the prequels in that way then you aren't a patrician, you're the worst kind of pleb there is - one who deliberately deludes himself into pretending things he doesn't like don't exist.

Can we go back to Hamillposting instead of having the same shit flinging contest we've had multiple times every day since last year?
Why don't all of you tell me, right now, what your favorite thing about Mark is.

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But it's fucking Disney that brought politics into it with hamfisted diversity and retarded shit @theforceisfemale

predator i believe

You know the force is female is a Nike brand wholly divorced from Star Wars and Kathleen Kennedy decided to wear the shirt because she thought it was funny?

Stop projecting your need to insert identity politics into everything on others

Joke or not you can't wear this shirt without expecting people not to believe you have an agenda
I hate identity politics too but really, they opened the doors for this bullshit.

Anons, there was this movie with Mark Hamill where he fucks a woman and the camera is focused on his ass. It was quite a nice ass too. Does anybody know what movie that is? I've been looking for it but to no avail.

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Snoke's seed and light speed.
Formerly Chweie's

I laughed so hard when he got labered