*sits in your chair*

*sits in your chair*

*gives you fries with that*

fuck out my chair you goofy grey cunt
you best be wearing underwear under that skirt else you're lickin the nut grease off that damn cushion

Get up Darkseid, you're sitting in my seat.

yeah get up. This isnt even your planet.

*Masturbates while looking you dead in the eye and claim it's just an Earth greeting*

I'd like to see him try

>"Hello, 911. There a guy who broke into my house, sits in my chair with no pants."

>God
>gets killed by mortals

If I give you the anti life equation can I have my chair back?

You know what don’t bother getting up you ruined it already

Jesus?

>*dabs
>*teleports behind you*
>NANI, He’s Fast!!!!
>Nothing personal kid

R.I.P. in Shit

jokes on you, I literally don't own a single chair

...

Is it true that Darkseid has mastered the comfy equation?

His throne on Apokolips must be incredible.

Who else /comfy/

it is

he is comfy no matter the chair

because Darksied's backside is the only place he inscribed the comfy equation on. Therefore, no matter the furniture, no matter the material, Darkseid's butt will not be bothered by trivial things like a bit of uncomfortability.

Woe be to the guy who has to go get the comfy equation, though. Good luck reading it from the Darkass.

Look you dumbasses our planet is nextdoor.

voiced by Louis CK

Of course. What could possibly be more evil than keeping the secret to ultimate sitting comfort all to yourself?

I'd like to see anyone try.

I don't even own any chairs.

What would happen if the only chair I have in my house has a dragon dildo attached to it and Darkseid tries to sit on my chair?

where do you sleep, he'll sit on that instead.

I sleep on the ground, I don't have any blankets or pillows. Just the bare ground.

...

What?

pic of me using chair
Tried it out once and it was surprisingly comfy

*BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

user, are you a hobo?

Close your legs, you fucking slut.

Never gets old.

Isnt this literally a Cyanide and Happiness short? The man who can sit anywhere?

THATIS MY SPOT

I just don't own a bed or any chairs, they take up too much room.

eve notice that Darkseid has little or nothing to do with DC's big events? even Final Crisis the big bad turned out to be Mandrakk, for such a powerful and important being he doesnt do much does he

oh... user, are you a NEET?

small apartment

Sleeping on the ground is extremely bad for your back. Get a futon at least.

you got me

PPPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLplplpllll

Could he sit in earth chairs? Isn't he like huge and to heavy for earth chairs?

Is his plan a universe of chairs to suit him?

if it fits, the tiger-force sits

Go to bed Sheldon.

>that time where Darkseid figured out how to use the Anti-Life Equation, he couldn't access it until he became a bitter entry-level employee manager that spent an embarrassingly long time climbing the latter until he earned the authority to callously subjugate lower level wageslaves
Kirby was really ahead of his time.

"Darkseid knows all, Orion! Darkseid knows your innermost thoughts! Darkseid knows you're looking at his crotch, Orion! Feast your eyes, Orion! Gaze upon the glory of Darkseid's love sausage! Ponder the horror of his meat and two veg! Reel in terror at the might of Darkseid's Wang! His love apples! His package! The Package of Darkseid, Orion! It turned Highfather's hair white!"

He alters his size a bit

This is not the kinda wincest I go for, but I'll give it a try.

It's why he mostly shows up in America.
For the chairs built for the 300+lb man.

>implying being a bitter low level entry worker isn't in itself the anti-life equation, and Darkseid was absorbing massive amounts of power by being a 9 to 5 jagoff who has to say "big mcthankies from Mcspankies" to everyone who went up to the drive thru window

Looking good.

You lift?

Is that Lain but drawn in more of an American comic book style?

the anti-chair equation

it always bothers me how he is sitting,with his legs open like that,despite he is wearing a sort of skirt or some shit,showing his underware for everyone to see,he knows exactly what he is doing,fucking tease,a fucking slut thats what he is

...

A challenger appear.

Godspreading

He has no problems sitting in a normal chair.

>absorbing massive amounts of power by being a 9 to 5 jagoff who has to say "big mcthankies from Mcspankies"
Kek

...

Who got punked out the worst, 'Seid or Thanos? Whose point was the lowest?

Darkseid has jobbed harder but thanos jobs more often

thanos sabotages himself
darkseid just plain gets defeated

Aw man, what's worse? DROPPING the cosmic cube or falling down stairs? Getting your shit kicked by muggers or getting booked by the NYPD?

...

*sits on you*
*make myself comfy on top of darkseid*
*feel something on my butt*
owo whats this?

the true crime for this villain is his manspreading, clearly.

This is pretty good.

DARKSEID IS

Kek

I fuck his daughter.

He fucks you.

*sits on your face*

I’m aroused by the idea of Darkseid imposing himself on to me. Not even raping me, just doing this sort of stuff.

He just likes to chill.

I go sit in his fucking chair.

See how he likes it.

The lord has spoken

Never saw the appeal of Femseid until I saw this.
Damn the Source Wall for making me want to abandon my self control.

Anyone can trip on stair in a poorly lit room or get mugged when they're completely drained of all energy. It takes a certain kind of putz to fuck themselves over and then go away willingly after losing.