ITT: Dumb retcons

I'll start off with...

It was Doom that caused House of M, not Scarlet Witch.

OMD

It wasn't really a "retcon" desu not to say it wasn't dumb

reeeeeee

Dan slott changing Alpha primitives from creatures created and cloned by the Inhumans into people they apparently kidnapped and transformed. Considering there were a bunch of other continuity fuck ups it wasn't even conscious decision just Slott knowing where they came from and making some shit up.

Every single new variant of Ben 10

Wolverine and others not being human mutants but some weird wolf-derived near-human species.

Dafoq?

This. While I like a lot of the ideas in each, they retcon everything like there's no tomorrow even in the same franchise. The ones that ticked me off the most were the 'everything is actually aliens' in Alien Force and 'the hybrid plumber kids were actually experiments that had their memories wiped'.

The series is honestly convoluted as all hell.

Time out how and why?

Didnt they throw that out?

pic used is not a retcon.

Don't worry, now that Disney has the mutants back expect Magneto to be retconned back into being their father. They'll just retcon their new mother Natalya into actually always having been Magda.

They gave the entire species a retarded disease where eventually they just say I Am Groot.

>From his joining the X-Men, it’s been said that he was a mutant, which was how Professor X was able to locate Wolverine. That all changed in “Wolverine” #53 in 2007, though. In that story, Wolverine met a new enemy named Romulus (who we’ll get to later); he explained they were actually not mutants, but a new species of human evolved from canines instead of simians, or what he called Lupines. More than that, he claimed that all other wild mutants like Sasquatch, Sabretooth and Feral were Lupines, and that Sabretooth hated Wolverine because he was from a blond-haired tribe that hated the dark-haired tribe on sight.

Fucking Loeb
>in Jeph Loeb and Simone Bianchi’s “Wolverine” #50 (2007), when Wolverine had dreams of a mysterious figure known as Romulus, who was thousands of years old and had been manipulating Wolverine before he was born. He secretly controlled Weapon X, took Wolverine’s son Daken from his mother’s womb, arranged for the death of Wolverine’s lovers over the years and pretty much got the ball rolling on anything bad that ever happened to Logan.
>In the final moments, Romulus also says that Wolverine was the one who altered his own memories to make himself into a test subject, and that Weapon X is and always was Wolverine’s idea.

Oh I meant the spoilers but thank you for explaining the panel.

Someone posted the page for the spoiler already. It was part of the "try to move characters away from the mutant label" move.

Wrong.
Kid Avengers. I think it's called Young Avengers. It's the first or second mini-series. If you google it, you'll get it. Doom mind-controlled her into doing all of the shit in House of M so she can't be blamed ;^)

>Groot is not a grumpy king but a precious widdle child
>Beyonder is not omnipotent, just a part of a cosmic cube
>Alicia Masters was a skrull
>Mockingbird was a skrull
>the whole Jean/Phoenix clusterfuck

It was called Children's Crusade.

I wouldn't trust the High Evolutionary to tell me the time of day. He's completely insane. I doubt he even knows who HE is, from moment to moment.

...I thought Alpha Primitives were Inhumans who failed Terrigenesis and came out like these subhumans...

That is the correct reaction.

>>Beyonder is not omnipotent, just a part of a cosmic cube

And now those are both true: the Beyonder was whatever he needed to be... he didn't just change appearance, he changed the reality about himself.

With Doom you never know.
Was he telling the truth?
Was he being spiteful?
Or was he actually sorry and 'taking the blame' for what she did so she would feel better about herself?

And it was shit executed, too.

Saquatch was never a mutant. Sasquatch dosed himself with controlled gamma radiation, becoming something of a furry, fully-controlled Hulk. Only then he found out that what he'd REALLY done is open himself up to possession by one of the Great Beasts of the frozen north, and was basically letting it possess him. Later, his mind took over the mind of Snowbird, a goddess, then used her shapechanging powers to turn into the Sasquatch when needed. After that I kind of lost track, but let's note, that's:

1. Gamma Mutate.
2. Demon.
3. Goddess.

So even when Loeb is wrong, he's wrong.

So let's say that actually happened and he hypnotized her into doing House Of M. How did House of M benefit him? There is like no point to that.

>.I thought Alpha Primitives were Inhumans who failed Terrigenesis and came out like these subhumans...
Nope, created in a lab and cloned. They didn't have a backstory until they got one in marvel handbook decades ago. Even then failed Inhumans is still a step above random humans being kidnapped.

I hadn't heard this. What did Doom do?

see

Buisick's Avengers.

All my interest in OG Alpha Flight just died.

Wasn't Doom still stuck in Hell at the time of Disassembled and House of M? He didn't escape until just before Civil War.

>They'll just retcon their new mother Natalya into actually always having been Magda.
I mean, they may have established who their "true" mother is, but not their true father. They could easily just have it so Magneto fucked Natalya.

Yep. By all accounts, he was just saying this to take the blame to absolve her of her sins. He spent the story up until this point talking about how he was in love with her.

>Beyonder is not omnipotent, just a part of a cosmic cube
I mean, being a sentient cosmic cube doesn't mean he isn't omnipotent. Beyond that, the official marvel handbook established that the Beyonder would use his powers to alter his own origin story in his constant attempts to find a way to fit in. So the official canon, up until the most recent retcon, was that he was the one constantly retconning his own origin.

Hickman has now established that he was just a Beyonder child though, which doesn't actually break the previously established canon for him.

I firmly believe Doom saying he caused M-Day and not Wanda was him trying to protect her. He knows the world hates him already, might as well shield her, he has nothing to lose. I read children's crusade recently, cyclops and wolverine agree with me.

God damn, I do love the idea of hammy, over-the-top mwahahahahaing villains like Doom having a soft spot for their waifus.
Speaking of which, someone recently told me Doom had a thing with Romanoff once. Is that true?

...Those Inhumans are aptly named.

Kinda nice of him, really.

So... is the Beyonder the Sentry?

>...I thought Alpha Primitives were Inhumans who failed Terrigenesis and came out like these subhumans...
That was just that one guy

We know that he indeed cause her to get possessed by the Life Force which was responsible for her OOC behavior. So the timeline would be that Doom makes Wanda get possessed by the Life Force, then Doom goes to Hell, then a hypnotic/whatever order left by Doom causes her to do Disassembled and HoM.

Oh stop Vic, we're not going to tease you about your waifu. Promise.

Axis kind of undermines this theory since inverted Doom is extremely remorseful about what he did to Wanda and for making her do all of those things.

Nah. Sentry is a manifestation of Franklin Richards.

And the new "retconned-into-Marvel's-past" heroine, Voyager, is a manifestation of Valerie Richards.

You just wait, sooner or later they'll go there.

Now that they don't need to shun the Fantastics they might.

I don't hate it necessarily, but Waid retconning Wally's first encounter with Barry seemed completely unnecessary and stupid to me.

at the end of the day, the current status quo is just a story away from being changed. All you can do is look at all the stories of a character, try to "calculate" his nature and go with what you feel ought to be canon, reject the rest.
For me, Unthinkable didn't happen and he lied to protect Wanda.

bump

Yes, but he also used that power to bring Cassie Lang back as well.

I'm pretty sure this all originated from Earth X, which made up a bunch of non-canon retcons, where technically everybody else (and I do mean Everybody) were mutants by way of Celestials modifying their genetics. All the Wolverine types were supposedly the descendants of the non-modified human ancestors.

Gypsy women are his kryptonite.

Wanda and Pietro's backstory has been dancing around the High Evolutionary for *decades* now. Its not that much of a reach, and a somewhat elegant retcon if you're wanting to distance the two from mutant-hood at the time.

Fuck off, Brevoort.

based doom saving wanda from being killed by the avengers

Recently re-read the whole trilogy, and while it was pretty try-hard, sometimes had very clunky dialogue (Constantly asking rhetorical questions that end in "isn't it? aren't they? Is it?") and made some choices I would not have, I was still shocked at A) how good it actually is and B) the scale of it. It really did try to be the last, final and ultimate Marvel story.

>a somewhat elegant retcon

That's calling Rose Quartz 'a somewhat large woman'.

No, wait, that would imply it is very elegant. 'A somewhat undersized woman'.

The author did know that wolverines aren't related to wolves, right?

>Jean
>Scott
>Pryor

And now to ruin THREE perfectly written characters with one shitty backwards thinking decision that will set a precedent that the once greatest cape comic of all time will never recover from!

Neither are sabre-tooth tigers.

>The author did know

It's a comic book writer. What do you think? They know and understand virtually nothing.

You could put pretty much every retcon Byrne ever made into here

Maybe the inversion there is him being able to admit he's remorseful instead of doing a smoke and mirrors thing to make it up to her without ever having to directly own up to his feelings.

Doom Actually liked her so he took the blame. DOOM is a Master Lover.

Like said, it makes more sense that Doom just took the fall here since, if I remember, he also indirectly killed when he got the Chaos Magic or something.

So he feels, I don't know if "bad" is the right word here, but Doom isn't the type of person who would just let killing a child go. Not to mention he might have genuinely felt something for Wanda.

So he takes the blame, which everyone is more than fucking ready to believe, and fucks off back to Latveria to figure out exactly what he just did.

>No, MORE mutants.

>evolved from a completely different animal to become 'a new species of human'
That's not at all how evolution and taxinomy works, jfc

This fucking shitshow

>Groot is not a grumpy king but a precious widdle child
That's neither accurate nor a retcon. Thst aside I don't get the torch people carry for Groot, he's always been a one-note character whether he talks or not.

Snyder will never be forgiven for waifuist Freeze

>high evolutionary

does he smoke the gange?

>Collector's Edition!

Says it all