Getting rekt at EU 4 / Redpilled games

Help me Sup Forums, I know this isn't /vg/ but I don't have the time for those bluepilled faggots. I'm always getting rekt at Europa Universalis 4 by Denmark who always muster up an army twice my size. How the fuck is that even possible when they're so small?

How the fuck do I even play this game

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Allies, allies, allies. It's a game of diplomacy if you are playing in Europe.

I can't even finish the tutorial, fuck this game. Too complicated.

First of all EU4 is a kike game that only plebs and casuals play

Second of all, If you want a real challenge and a real Paradox game play For the Glory AGCEEP, then come back

Play as ottomans or France
Blob

Go to the eu4 subreddit.
>inb4 gobacktoleddit
There are a lot of extremely good players there who can tell you whatever you want to know so you don't have to make dumb threads like this in Sup Forums.

While playing Sweden you're supposed to ally Britain then break free when they go to war with Denmark. Always do your best to wither relations with Denmark so you have a higher chance of independence when the day comes.

and people claim the /r/The_Cuckhold invasion is a meme

>ottomans
>France
kys nigger

Same.

See this marco antonio guy in YouTube. He has a lot of world conquest ganeplays with shitty nations. That could help.
>Redpilled games
If you are already getting shit on this game you better not touch Vicky 2.

You can just tell a plebbitor at first sight if he unironically plays EU4

They're tactically challenging nations, each a new adventure, with many highs and lows. EU4 France or Ottomans is without a doubt the best grand strategy games Paradox has ever made.
You're just ma because they're too hard for you.

this. also make sure your allies will join wars you start, and check the ledger for how large an army a country has before declaring war

>he manages to lose as Sweden
Literally mary sue country

Denmark has Sweden and Norway as puppets doesn't it? That alone is enough.

>fucking up as Sweden
Git gud you twink

And btw EU4 is bluepilled, only V2 with HPM is worth playing if you like strategy sandbox.

We don't tho. Norway is Denmark's puppet and when they declare war they muster an army of like 30k when I have 15k. It's fucking over before the war even starts.

>getting rekt in the easiest grand strategy game

Wew lad

Go ask /gsg/ they aren't bluepilled desu, don't know what you meant by that.

>losing to Denmark as OP Sweden
>eu4
>too complicated
>Russian intellectuals

Nigga you just need to get people to support independence war. England and Novgorod are the best.

No every strategy/historical game is redpilled while games such as call of duty and minecraft is bluepilled to oblivion.

>Ottomans
>Challenging

>France
>Challenging

Maybe if your concept of challenge is "it's hard to world conquest by 1550 as France/Ottoman Empire"

This again. Also if you recognize pic related you are amazing.

Uninstall and play a superior game

youtube.com/watch?v=Kv3fCVLPsds

Who doesn't? We're not 14 years old here.

I usually play Crusader Kings 2 and it's easy as shit and quite simple and basic and then you jump into EU4 and it's a fucking wall of cancer

Learn to fleet.

Fighting Norway and Denmark one at the time is the way you win as Sweden.

>muh strategy

Play sims, fag.

Pic related, The Scandinavian Front 2.

youtube.com/watch?v=NuY6uzdFhgs&t=25s

>Struggling on babbies first GS

Are you kidding, I'm a seasoned player and I usually don't take constantinople until 1700 as ottomans.
And as for France the english army is just invincible, it takes careful diplomacy to avoid england, or provence, from annexing me,

Fuck off go to /vg/

stupid

>"sandbox"
>playing as Japan forces you to sit on your ass as a Shogunate vassal for over a fifth of the game timeline because "muh Meiji"

you would be surprised.

I don't recall the exact terms because it's been a while since I played that super casual game, but do this

Set Difficulty to easy or very easy, give bonuses to the player only and set lucky nations to none.
This will trivialize the game enough that you will be able to learn about diplomacy, what all the sliders do, trade, etc. Then you can play normally.

kek I play Vicky 2 all the time and love it (genocide is fun), but I just can't get into EUIV. It seems so bland and nothing seems to click.

the 1.19 patch really beefed up those salty danes

also heres a rare johan

I am great power!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHahhahaahHh&■•《○○》○¥•¥

1/10

>playing as Japan
>not with superior AfriKangs
If feels good to not get fucked by colonizers because you are already westernized.

I like a few things about EU4, colonization as Castile or Portugal, colonization of India as England to own global trade and the HRE.

>having trouble with EU4
top fucking kek
babbys first map painting simulator

EUIV is stupid as shit, they don't let you genocide certain groups within your nation, and they don't allow more political choices like communism and democracy

Plus, there is no choice to make atheism as the state religion

But user. Atheism is not a religion.

They don't simulate real-life religions such as agnosticism or atheism, both were very influential in the reformation.
My family are atheists and we attend mass in the atheist church every sunday.

Nothing personel kid

>Communism and Democracy
>In 1451-1821
>American education

>tfw

How is genocide involved in Vicky 2 ive played EU3 and 4 and CK2 but never gave V2 a chance but i hear people who played it talking about genocide and slavery how is it done in the game?

I would actually recommend Russia/Moscovy for new players. If you ally Poland you lose a lot of rightfully Russian land but you never have to worry about war from the west. When you tech up enough get religious ideas and rush the extra missionary strength than start eating the Mongols until you get to China, than conquer China.

How about a good sim instead.
youtube.com/watch?v=IrPXw7GPkIw

Pls, Sweden can defeat Denmark/Norway alone in 1444

>They're tactically challenging nations
This game is not for you

Or start as Spain/ Portugal and conquer the new world and start shitting gold.

>French Europe
Kek, where is their capital?

>not playing theodoro

Did you do that to Spain?

Who did you start as?

Only rommel could defeat the byzantine army as the ottomans, I can do it in just 300 years, how about you?

>that north africa
im really disappointed in your mod dude

ck2 converter

>1444
it's a mod, look at those nation names

>Atheist church
I refuse to believe you. But if that is true this would be why fedoras are mocked. If atheism is not a religion there is no reason to go to a church. What do they do in that church?
There is POP called slaves. They don't need any goods and act like farmers or labourers. And that's all. You can reform shit to abolish them and they will become farmers or labourers.
The genocide part is from a mod called Historical Project Mod. It makes the game be more historically accurate.

>Only rommel could defeat the byzantine army as the ottomans, I can do it in just 300 years, how about you?
Nigger what the fuck are you talking about

>i cant into putting my diplomat for 1 years to the biggest blob so i can drag the biggest blob against the closest blob and then become the blob myself

I forgot to mention if you ally Poland you can be as inept as actual Tsar and still do fine as Russia.

wew I didn't look at the dates, my bad

>tfw

STEAM BLACK FRIDAY SALE MY NIGS???

Yeah i bought it too. I remember on an old thread someone asked 'what game do most /pol users play?'

The answer turned out to be Verdun. Like everyone in the thread was talking about it and sharing screenshots, it was a big thread too about 150 replies.

Anyway I bought the game yesterday- fucking no one plays it. Literally every deathmatch server is empty right now as I post this.

What game can I find the most Sup Forums users on?

>Johan DLC simulator
>redpilled

This is your fucking EUIV god you little shits.

Holy shit you're fucking pathetic. EU4 is casual as fuck and you're a spastic babby if you can't dominate as L I T E R A L L Y any country.

Who /Siberia/ here? Start as shitty siberian nomads and conquer china and the rest of the pacific, colonize california and cockblock europeans

if you're playing as sweden get someone to support your independence, and get a large fleet to block the danish straits so they can't invade you

We usually collect fossils and show them to priests so they instantly admit that theist religions are retarded.
I'm disagreeing with your earlier statement, because ottomans and france ARE tactically challenging

>making ottomans the most op fucking blobfest nation in the game
>fucking swedish developers

WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED

also, you picked a bad time to play sweden. Denmark just got buffed in the latest patch

>not being able to destroy the ottomemes as byzantium in 5 years
baka senpai

>I'm disagreeing with your earlier statement, because ottomans and france ARE tactically challenging
France and Ottomans are the easiest two countries in the game, anything less than a world conquest is not challenging with them

YES!

But with mods (GWX specially).

youtube.com/watch?v=urhsPWEMoO0

>they don't let you genocide certain groups within your nation
Yes they do, spend bird mana to change culture.

What did you think "change culture" meant you stupid fuck?

Also
>communism
>democracy
>in the Renaissance
Fucking Amerifats.

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The best way to get better is to run uninstall.exe

anyone else up for some wiggly waggling pure psy/mayaka style? i say we waggle it HARD tonight willy boys

how 2 clean beano comic book of willy juice stains? i was waggling my willy in my treehouse with me good mates willy gordon and cousin nicky all over the page of the beano with beas fat baby ass...mmhhmmm!! i would waggle my willy to that bum all day...when my willy erupted and ruined me good comic for good!!!! i dont want my mummy 2 see it..help?

ME AND MY MATES WAGGLE OURWILLIESTO PORNO!!! IT'S CALLED PORN!!!!! I SEARCHED THE WORD PORNO IN GOOGLE WHILE MY MUMMY WASN'T LOOKING;))!!!THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF ME AND MY WILLY!!;)))aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Mount and Blade Napoleonic Wars. The chat is pretty Sup Forums

Can you discover the new world as Sweden or do you have to be Portugal/Spain?

you cant stop the willy wanking!!

you cant stop the willy wanking!!

you cant stop the willy wanking!!

I AM USELESS TRASH WITHOUT MY WILLY!!!! WITHOUT ME MY WILLY IS USELESS TRASH!! WAGGLE MY WILLY TO THE LIMIT! I AM USELESS TRASH WITHOUT MY WILLY!!!! WITHOUT ME MY WILLY IS USELESS TRASH!! WAGGLE MY WILLY TO THE LIMIT! I AM USELESS TRASH WITHOUT MY WILLY!!!! WITHOUT ME MY WILLY IS USELESS TRASH!! WAGGLE MY WILLY TO THE LIMIT! I AM USELESS TRASH WITHOUT MY WILLY!!!! WITHOUT ME MY WILLY IS USELESS TRASH!! WAGGLE MY WILLY TO THE LIMIT!

CUMMING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhhhhMYYYYYWILLlyyyy!!!!!!!!!!;)

>genocide certain groups
what is "change culture" and "exterminate dindus" if your into the colonial game
>political choices like communism
in the 17th century?
>and democracy
but you literally can make democratic regimes

fuck off you didn't even play the game did you

>not playing custom nation OPM Sparta and fighting the Ottomans

That's what you'd think but any nation like trebizond could easily annex the ottomans by 1445, it's only thanks to my skills that my france game succeeds in retaking normandy by 1800

What's the mod in the pic? I always found Vicky 2 to be too short.

Oh I have, but paradox is still full of swedecucks who enjoy turk cock.

LOOK, AT THE PICTURE. SEE THE SKULL! THE PART OF BONE REMOVED! THE MASTERACE FRANKENSTEIN RADIO CONTROLS! THE BRAINTHOUGHTS BROADCASTING RADIO. THE EYESIGHT TELEVISION. THE FRANKENSTEIN EARPHONE RADIO! DEADLY ASSAULTS EVEN IN MY YARD! WITH KNIVES! EVEN BRICKS AND STONES! EVEN DEADLY TOUCH TABIN OR ELECTRIC SHOCK FLASHLIGHTS! EVEN REMOTE ELECTRONICALLY CONTROLLED AROUND CORNERS TRAJECTION OF DEADLY TOUCH TARANTULA SPIDERS! OR EVEN BLOODY MURDER "ACCIDENTS" TO SHUT ME UP FOREVER WITH A "SNEAK UNDETECTABLE EXTERMINATION".

ohyhhhhmy willyfeelssogood;))))endlessWILLYPLEASURE.
u wanna some willy wanking tips I give you some my willywanking grasshopper
>step 1: grab your willy
>step 2: waggle it up and down!!!!!!
>step 3: even tho it hurts waggle it to FULLJOY!!!!mmHHHHmmmmmwaggleurwilly;))
>step 4: CUM WILLY JUICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!myWIIIIIIIIIILLLLYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

,,,,,,\|,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,|
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thats why every single game i get an alliance with austria,poland and hungary and genocide the turks early on

ooooooooohhhh man me mates!! allo me chapss!!! i think me mates i have just made a major breakthrough in the field of the majestic art of the waggle..!!!lissen closely maties,its not often u hear wagglin tips down the line like what im abouta drop now!!

so u know howdo waggle ur willy.and you now it causes willy pleasure. but did u know what if you stick your finger up your bum and wiggle it around u get bumbum pleasure instead?? combine it with the willy waggle for dubble trubble 0_o whOaAOAOAOaoAOoooo!!!!!!!!!!nows thats what i callsome relief eh esse..mmmhmmm.......stick me finger up my bum......pull it out....hehehehehit smells lilke poopie...eh ey kid,...smell me thinga eheheh smell me smellie fingers kid heheheheheh!!!!!!!!!.....

if u want advanced bumpleasure shove TWO or maybe THREE fingers up ur bum!!!! keep wagglin until ur entire body starts convulsin w/ PLEASURE!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MYBUMANDMYWILLY THEYFEELLIKE ITS AN EARTHQUAKE IN ME BUM A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dress up in me sisters school unform.finga me bum and take pictures and post it on the internet!!!!!!!! i always ask me mummy and daddies permission to use the net first 0_o just because mummie and daddie dont wanna see u waggle doesnt mean u can be a freeloader breakin the house rules -_-

well until then.pippip cheerio me wankas!!!im off to finga me mates bums and put the picturegrabs on a website called "domblr.com"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!until then waggle it away maties!!!!!!

god bless this game

ello me mates;)))here is your mate williem back to teach you how to waggle your willy like a willy wanking bishop;;'))

ohoy me mates;;))) now some of oyu guys are confused on how to waggle your willy eh???so u wanna be a willy wanking star,big deal.u gotta learn the willywanking game in 5 easy steps.cumon me mate lets leurn to wank our willies together with me mates gordon charlie and bill and even lilttle cousin nicky;))

STEP 1#

GRAB the willy!!you have to wait for it to turn into a sasuage stick, dont worry if it doest happen in 10 seconds like me!!!just grab an issue of your beano comic your mummy bought you at the newsagents, flip to a page with minnie the minxes bum and bbengin wanking your willy!!!

step #2

move your hand up and down your willy,ur getting there me mate;)))if possible do it with your mates in your tree house so your mummies cant see or hear you!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!;)));)))

STEP 3#

you will be feeling your willy about to explode!!!!!it's going to hurt a lil;;)do dont worry;)))because your willy is going to EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!just shout AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MYWILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and there will be white wee wee verywhere thhat is very goeey;))if you finish before your mates then help them by waggling THEIR willies;)))

and now you are a master ant waggling your willing with your mates;))))) just remember to ask me if you ever need to waggle your willy again;;;;)))now pip ipip cheerio im off to waggle my willy!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Please sage, report and hide these Sup Forums-tier and off-topic threads.

Don't wver complain about Sup Forums being shit if you let these threads go unreported.

How do you not understand EU4. very easy compared to Vic 2 and HoI. The answer has to do with mana and shit, you know the magic numbers that allow you to do stuff.

>hear me lads, i have spammed liquor factories for the past 30 years and my economy is the strongest in the game. this is the true definition of grand strategy