Stub my toe getting out of bed

>stub my toe getting out of bed
>goddamn russian hackers ruining my day

Its beautifull

Putin and trump are saving mankind from themselves

They've got weaponized squids too.

>mfw Russian hackers hacked my brain and I became virgin neet loser

>stub my toe getting out of bed
>shout "Thanks Putin!"
>hear a faint "You're welcome" from outside the window

Come on Boris, at least use a europe proxy, everyone knows most Americans are asleep still.

>tfw russia hacked my mirrors so my eyes aren't real

I'm an American. I just admire the Russians ability to hack minds and weaponize squids. I wish we had that technology.

>Russia hacked my weather so now I have to shovel my driveway before going to work
FIX IT OBAMA

Really makes you reflect.

>Hack minds
I honestly don't think the Russians hacked that much, I do believe the post on reddit / 4 chan / fake news. I've been on here for 7 years and the RT shit has exploded. Why do you think we have daily Syria threads when 80% of americans and most Eurpeans don't give a shit about Syria anymore. But Russia does.

It does concern me that the president elect isn't even to even LOOK into this. Doesn't that concern you? I mean he doesn't even want to have daily security briefings.

Yeah but you can counter them with attack dolphins easily

Well americans managed to weaponise dolphins

Are Russians the reason I haven't had sex in 4 years?

Do you guys still play?

I'm going to teach those dirty Putins a lesson by seizing their means of reproduction and building a home and family.

If I fail my upcoming exam can I call CNN and tell them russisans hacked my university?

>come too quickly, disspointing a woman.
>Russian hackers...

>Steal something and got caught
>Russian hackers...

>Caught by scotland yard for making hate speech online against the joos.
>Russian hackers.

>Didn't do homework.
.Russian hackers.

Best excuse, ever.
It's a responsibility cure-all.

They hacked your women!

CYKA BLYAT!!

YES, TELL US. RNC emails. Trump emails. Yes, tell us the truth.

Russians hacked my Keurig, and gave me weak coffee this AM. When I bitch people out today I will blame the ruskies.

>tfw too intelligent for intelligence briefings

Dude! I had a Russian hacker get my Taco Bell order wrong today!

THIS SHIT NEEDS TO STOP! IM CALLING THE CIA!

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